Where’s the Village At?
Teachers have our kids seven to eight hours a day—so emotional regulation isn’t “extra,” it’s the foundation. In this episode, I’m sitting in my apartment in New York, on a Sunday when everything hit at once. After a call from my best friend about a recent suicide, I tell the truth about what I’ve seen from inside the classroom—and what I’ve lived through as a woman who spent years masking, surviving trauma, and trying to “hold it together.” This is a conversation for parents, educators, and anyone who feels the system keeps pointing fingers while kids are quietly drowning. Because here’s what I believe: schools can’t keep pretending their only job is math, reading, and writing. Teachers have children seven to eight hours a day—most of their awake time—and emotional regulation isn’t “extra.” It’s the foundation. And the hard truth is this: you can’t teach what you don’t know how to do yourself. Content note: This episode includes discussion of suicide, trauma, and student mental health. Please take care of yourself while listening. Timestamps 00:00 — Opening: Sunday in New York City + what triggered this episode 01:08 — Why I’m sharing this now (the call that hit me) 02:18 — Content note: suicide, trauma, and student mental health 03:10 — The lie we keep telling: school isn’t only academics 03:33 — “Seven to eight hours a day”: why emotional regulation is the foundation 05:30 — The voice in our heads: shame, masking, and learned self-talk 07:21 — Stop blaming families: behavior is communication 08:48 — What I did differently: connection-first classroom culture 10:54 — The third-grade story: counseling minutes that never happened 15:20 — What has to change: re-educating educators + real support 18:11 — Closing + teaser: next episode (my mom) Next episode: I’m going to share the story of when my life first cracked open—my mom, my grief, and the moment my brain became a different place to live.
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