The Art of Getting Go: How to Become the Real You

The Art of Getting Go: How to Become the Real You

In this solo episode of WHOLE: The Podcast, Christabel Heasman-Cossins explores the psychology of honesty, identity and letting go — and shares the personal story that led to the creation of the WHOLE Framework. What happens when the life you’ve built no longer feels aligned with who you are becoming? Through reflections on performance, exhaustion, purpose, motivation and self-identity, this episode explores the tension between external success and meaningful living, and why so many people remain stuck in lives, careers or patterns they have quietly outgrown. Christabel discusses: * the fear of letting go of old identities * performative success and external validation * meaning, purpose and intrinsic motivation * why change can feel psychologically threatening * the importance of honesty and self-inquiry * how the WHOLE Framework was born This episode is for anyone who feels stagnant, disconnected, creatively dulled or quietly aware that something in their life no longer fits. The WHOLE Framework: W — What H — Honesty O — Ownership L — Live It E — Evolution Explore more: wholeframework.com Follow: @christabelsvoice

The Psychology of Style: Identity, Confidence and Tailoring | Gresham Blake

What does it mean to truly express who you are? In this conversation, I sit down with tailoring duo, Gresham and Fal Blake to explore something that, on the surface, looks like tailoring, but very quickly reveals itself to be something much deeper. Because this isn’t just about style. What struck me in this conversation is that tailoring is not just about clothing, it’s about understanding people. Not in an abstract or theoretical way, but in a very real, intuitive sense. It involves reading someone, getting a feel for who they are. It is about understanding how they want to move through the world, and how they want to feel when they step into a room. There is psychology embedded in the process. We also talk about risk, instinct and the kind of self-belief it takes to build something from nothing, and the absolute authenticity that directs it. We also discuss the 'turning point'. The moment in a life when a decision is made to turn towards greatness, rather than towards what may be immeasurably easier. There’s a moment in the conversation where Gresham describes himself as an “extremist”, someone who felt they would either succeed completely or fail completely. What’s interesting is the evolution of that mindset over time: the movement from extremes into something more nuanced. More integrated. That, to me, is where this conversation really lives. Not just in style, but in evolution. The way we present ourselves to the world is so much part of who we are. It is no surprise that this duo present In how we become. WHAT WE EXPLORE * Why what you wear is not superficial—it’s an expression of identity * The idea that tailoring is less about appearance and more about how you feel * The parallels between tailoring and psychology: reading people, understanding values, building trust * The role of collaboration in creative work—and in self-expression * Risk-taking, instinct, and the reality of building something without certainty * The tension between freedom and security in creative lives * How identity evolves over time—and what it means to move beyond extremes * The shifting landscape of tailoring, particularly for women, and what that reflects culturally * Why authenticity—rather than trend—is the only sustainable foundation for style We often think of clothing as something external. Something aesthetic. Something separate from who we are. But what this conversation reveals is that it’s anything but. When what you wear aligns with who you are, something shifts. There’s a sense of ease. Of confidence. Of coherence. And when it doesn’t, we feel it. This episode is really an exploration of that alignment—and what it takes to get there. Takeaways: * The act of donning a bespoke suit instills confidence, altering one's posture and demeanor. * Tailoring transcends mere fabric manipulation; it embodies elements of psychology and self-identity. * The bespoke tailoring process necessitates a profound understanding of the client's personality and preferences. * In recent years, societal shifts have led to a greater acceptance of women wearing tailored suits in professional settings. * The evolution of tailoring reflects broader fashion trends, yet authenticity remains paramount in personal expression. * A tailored suit serves not only as clothing but as a vehicle for self-expression and personal empowerment. Links referenced in this episode: * greshamblake.com [https://greshamblake.com] * wholecoaching.co.uk [https://wholecoaching.co.uk] Companies mentioned in this episode: * Marks and Spencer * Vogue * Gresham Blake * Indian Summer * BBC Radio 1

The Importance of Values in Purpose, Meaning and Direction | WHOLE: Unpacked

In this WHOLE Unpacked episode, I explore one of the most fundamental drivers of a meaningful life: values. If you’ve ever felt unsure about what you want, disconnected from your current path, or lacking a sense of purpose, this episode will help you understand why. I break down: * What values are and how they differ from goals * How values shape behaviour and decision-making * Why values conflict—and why that’s part of being human * How to identify your own core values * How meaning emerges from living in alignment with them This episode is about clarity, direction, and building a life that actually reflects what matters to you. Takeaways: * Values serve as the organizing principles that guide our behavior and decision-making processes. * Identifying and clarifying one’s values is essential for constructing a meaningful and purposeful life. * The distinction between values and goals is crucial; values represent directions rather than fixed destinations. * A life devoid of values risks becoming reactive, lacking direction, and driven by basic survival instincts. * Intrinsic motivation arises from engaging in activities that align with our true values, as opposed to external pressures. * Awareness of one’s values allows for personal growth and the pursuit of a fulfilling life aligned with what truly matters. NB: In a section of the podcast the goal was mistakenly used in place of values. This was done in error. Any discussion of universality and benevolence is in relation to values, not goals. Links referenced in this episode: * wholecoaching.co.uk [https://wholecoaching.co.uk] * An Overview of the Schwartz Theory of Basic Values: https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1116&context=orpc * Self Determination Theory https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2000_RyanDeci_SDT.pdf

The Lie That You’re “Too Old” to Start Again | WHOLE: Unpacked

We’re often told, directly or indirectly, that there’s a point in life where it becomes “too late” to start again. In this episode, I explore where that belief comes from, how it shapes the way we see ourselves, and why it doesn’t actually hold up. From real-life examples to psychological ideas like self-stories and identity, I look at how this narrative forms—and why everyday life continually contradicts it. Because the evidence is all around us: people begin again, change direction, and pursue meaningful paths at every stage of life. The question isn’t whether it’s too late. It’s whether you’ve been led to believe that it is. * personal growth * career change * midlife change * starting over * self development * mindset * ageism * identity * motivation * life purpose * psychological growth * reinvention * meaning and purpose * change your life * self belief Takeaways: * The pervasive belief that individuals become irrelevant at a certain age is fundamentally flawed. * There are numerous examples of individuals who successfully embarked on new careers later in life. * The midlife phase often presents an ideal opportunity for personal and professional reinvention. * Motivation can wane during challenging times, but establishing a conducive environment can help sustain focus. * Self-stories formed in youth can limit perceptions of potential, yet they can be reexamined and transformed. * Understanding one’s core values is essential in guiding life changes and new endeavors. Companies mentioned in this episode: * Whole * Whole coaching.co.uk * Lila Ann Gray * Tina Technotic * Tina woods

Raving at 60 — and Rethinking Midlife: Tina Woods (aka Tina Technotic)

Takeaways: * The importance of human connection in modern life has diminished due to technology, necessitating a return to community engagement. * Longevity is not only a biological concern but is also deeply intertwined with meaning and purpose in life. * Music and dance serve as primal forms of human expression that foster connection and well-being across all ages. * Engaging in activities that bring joy and foster relationships is crucial for mental and physical health as one ages. Links referenced in this episode: * whole coaching.co.uk [https://whole coaching.co.uk] Companies mentioned in this episode: * Collider Health * Longevity Rave * Whole Coaching * Nike * Human Exposome Project * Human Genome Project * Team GB