Summer Rewind: The Fawning Trauma Response: Ingrid Clayton on Healing People-Pleasing and Codependency

Summer Rewind: The Fawning Trauma Response: Ingrid Clayton on Healing People-Pleasing and Codependency

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2294303/fan_mail/new] Have you been told you’re a people pleaser or found yourself saying yes when you meant no, without even thinking about it? Have a friend who struggles to express their feelings or share their preferences? If so, you might have encountered the fawning trauma response. Join me and Ingrid Clayton, author of Fawning the memoir Believing me, for this summer rewind episode where we unpack the misconceptions regarding this trauma response, share our experience strength and hope, and show you how to join the unfawning revolution she’s spearheading with her new book.  Episode Highlights * 1:30: The Fawning Trauma Response * 5:51: The Problem of Co-dependence * 10:04: Complex Trauma’s Impact on Our Nervous Systems * 12:50: Fawning’s Influence on Writing  * 22:29: The Energetic Signature of Your Book * 28:45: The Unfawning Process * 43:45: The Role of Tears  Resources for this Episode:  * What is the Fawning Trauma Response by Ingrid Clayton  * How to Stop Gaslighting Yourself with Ingrid Clayton * Believing Me by Ingrid Clayton * Get Your Free Human Design Report  * Ditch Your Inner Critic Now  Ingrid’s Bio: Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a Master’s degree in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. She has maintained a thriving private practice in Los Angeles for over seventeen years, supporting individuals in healing trauma, reclaiming agency, and reconnecting to their authentic selves. She's the author of Fawning and Believing Me. Her work has been featured in Oprah Daily, The New York Times, Women’s Health, and Forbes, and she has appeared on podcasts and programs including 10% Happier with Dan Harris, Girls Gotta Eat, and NPR’s On Point with Meghna Chakrabarti. Her latest book, Fawning, addresses an often-overlooked piece of the fight-flight-freeze reaction to trauma—explaining what it is, why it happens, and how to help survivors regain their voice and sense of self. Connect with Ingrid: * Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/ * Instagram and YouTube: @IngridClaytonPhD * Get a free copy of her PDF on the fawning response: https://www.ingridclayton.com/fawningtraumaresponse Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/  Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/ [https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/] Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ [https://lisacooperellison.com/newsletter-subscribe/] Website [https://lisacooperellison.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/] Produced by Espresso Podcast Production [https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com]

Summer Rewind: Exploring The Loneliness Epidemic with Athena Dixon

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2294303/fan_mail/new] How do you define loneliness? How did the pandemic impact the way that you define and experienced it? What does success look like for you? What is one positive association you have with being alone? These are just a few of the questions Athena and I explore in this summer rewind episode that tackles the multiple facets of loneliness, how to decide what is for you and what is for the public, and how to create your own definition of success.  Episode Highlights * 4:00 The Problem of Loneliness * 8:00 Establishing Intimacy Between Reader and Writer  * 11:00 The Skills of Being Honest * 16:00 Finding the Vessel for Your Story * 20:00 Defining Success for Yourself * 27:00 Digital Loneliness * 35:49 Intentional Isolation * 42:00 Loneliness and Hyper-independence Resources for this Episode:  * Cherry Picking Pleasure by Athena Dixon (part of her column in Open Secrets Magazine) * The Incredible Shrinking Woman by Athena Dixon * Get Your Free Human Design Report  * Ditch Your Inner Critic Now  Athena’s Bio: Born and raised in Northeast Ohio, Athena Dixon is an essayist and editor. She is the author of The Loneliness Files (Tin House), The Incredible Shrinking Woman (Split/Lip Press) and No God In This Room (Argus House Press). Her work also appears in The BreakBeat Poets Vol. 2: Black Girl Magic (Haymarket Books) and Getting to the Truth: The Practice and Craft of Creative Nonfiction (Hippocampus Book). She writes the monthly column Radical Pleasure for Open Secrets Magazine. Athena is an alumni of V.O.N.A., Callaloo, and Tin House and has received a prose fellowship from The Martha’s Vineyard Institute of Creative Writing and a Second Book Residency from Tin House. She serves as the Nonfiction Editor for Split/Lip Press and a Consulting Editor for Fourth Genre Magazine. Connect with Athena * Website: https://athenadixon.com/ * Instagram: @the_muse_paper * Facebook: @AthenaDevonDixon Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/  Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/ [https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/] Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ [https://lisacooperellison.com/newsletter-subscribe/] Website [https://lisacooperellison.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/] Produced by Espresso Podcast Production [https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com]

Summer Rewind: The True Meaning of Success and The Multiple Paths to Publishing Your Book with Courtney Maum

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2294303/fan_mail/new] In this summer rewind episode, we revisit my conversation with Courtney Maum, author of Alan Opts Out, Before and After the Book Deal, and The Year of Horses. During our chat, we discuss writer mental health, the key ingredients in an author brand, what success really means and how you can achieve it, as well as the number one skill all authors need to cultivate.  Episode Highlights * 3:00 The Importance of Protecting Your Mental Health * 6:45 The True Measure of Success * 15:00 Understanding Your Yesses and Nos * 19:50 Building Brand Assets for Your Author Platform * 28:50 Navigating the Realities of the Publishing Industry * 42:00 The Impact of Health Challenges on Our Identity * 60:00 Having Faith in Yourself Resources for this Episode:  * Buy Alan Opts Out [https://bookshop.org/p/books/alan-opts-out/3282fb701debe3e2] * Making Art Inside Delicious Darkness  [https://courtneymaum.substack.com/p/making-art-inside-delicious-darkness?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-restack-comment&r=1fpr6&triedRedirect=true] * Last Night an ENT Saved My Life [https://courtneymaum.substack.com/p/last-night-an-ent-saved-my-life] * Exploring the Loneliness Epidemic with Athena Dixon [https://lisacooperellison.com/exploring-the-loneliness-epidemic-with-athena-dixon/] * How to Stop Gaslighting Yourself with Ingrid Clayton [https://lisacooperellison.com/how-to-stop-gaslighting-yourself-with-ingrid-clayton/] * Get Your Free Human Design Report  [https://lisacooperellison.com/free-human-design-report] * Ditch Your Inner Critic Now  [https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/] Courtney’s Bio: Courtney is the author of six books, including ALAN OPTS OUT, the groundbreaking publishing guide that Vanity Fair recently named one of the ten best books for writers, BEFORE AND AFTER THE BOOK DEAL and the memoir THE YEAR OF THE HORSES, chosen by The Today Show as the best read for mental health awareness. A writing coach, director of the writing workshop “Turning Points,” and educator, Courtney's mission is to help people hold on to the joy of art-making in a culture obsessed with turning artists into brands. Passionate about literary citizenship, Courtney sits on the advisory councils of The Authors Guild and The Rumpus and runs a bestselling Substack on publishing conundrums. You can sign up for her weekly newsletter and online masterclasses at CourtneyMaum.com Connect with Courntey:  Website: courtneymaum.com Substack:https://substack.com/@courtneymaum Instagram: @cbmaum Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/  Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/ [https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/] Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ [https://lisacooperellison.com/newsletter-subscribe/] Website [https://lisacooperellison.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/] Produced by Espresso Podcast Production [https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com]

Summer Rewind: Writing to Heal with Laura Davis

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2294303/fan_mail/new] In this summer rewind episode, we revisit my conversation with writing instructor and author of The Courage to Heal, Laura Davis. During this episode, Laura and I discuss the healing power of writing, the difference between writing to heal and writing for a public audience, and the challenges Laura faced while writing her memoir, The Burning Light of Two Stars. Episode Highlights * 8:25 Dealing with the Emotional Rigors of Memoir Writing * 12:45: Writing to Heal * 21:00 Writing for Yourself versus an Audience * 34:45 Beginning Your Book * 46:50 Structuring Your Book and Including Primary Resources Resources for this Episode:  * Free Ebook: Writing Toward Courage: A 30-Day Practice [http://www.lauradavis.net/courage/].  * Get Your Free Human Design Report [https://lisacooperellison.com/free-human-design-report] * Ditch Your Inner Critic Now  [https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/] Laura’s Bio: Laura Davis is the author of The Burning Light of Two Stars, The Courage to Heal, and five other groundbreaking books. In addition to writing books that inspire, the work of Laura’s heart is to teach. For more than twenty-five years, she’s helped people find their voices, tell their stories, and hone their craft. Laura has been published in Publisher's Weekly, Writer's Digest, CrimeReads, Brevity, and The New York Times, featured in Los Angeles Review of Books, and on QWERTY, Write-Minded, The Only One in the Room, and dozens of other podcasts. She's a featured speaker for The National Association of Memoir Writers and a popular teacher at The San Miguel Writers’ Conference and at Esalen in Big Sur. Learn about her workshops, classes, and international retreats, and read the first five chapters of her memoir at www.lauradavis.net [http://www.lauradavis.net]. Connect with Laura * Website: www.lauradavis.net [http://www.lauradavis.net]  * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurasaridavis [https://www.instagram.com/laurasaridavis] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewritersjourney [https://www.facebook.com/thewritersjourney] Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/ [https://lisacooperellison.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/ [https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/ [https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/]  Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com [https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com] Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/ [https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/] Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ [https://lisacooperellison.com/newsletter-subscribe/] Website [https://lisacooperellison.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/] Produced by Espresso Podcast Production [https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com]

Summer Rewind: The Loneliness of Sibling Loss with Alyson Shelton and Lynn Shattuck

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2294303/fan_mail/new] About this episode:I am currently on break so I can focus on my writing and some much-needed rest. Until I return with new episodes on September seventeenth, I’ve curated a summer rewind series of fan favorites. This week’s episode with Lynn Shattuck and Alyson Shelton was recorded in October 2024 Back then, the Loss of a Lifetime: Grieving Siblings Share Stories of Love, Loss, and Hope anthology was a dream they were working to fulfill. This month, the book celebrated its first birthday. The wisdom in this episode, which fueled the publication of this book, is as timely as ever.  Resources Mentioned During This Episode: * Buy The Loss of a Lifetime [https://www.amazon.com/Loss-Lifetime-Grieving-Siblings-Stories/dp/B0F9FRZS5P/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1UJOCUI75MODI&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.QXPXo3gCDragKriF8-lqlOi4RqpR3W6jnYXYrhfYLZ6ByorjYRVOUWuK7GoAB15O3bz7_871XMMYYcVj8a--8WOtSSyDr1hCqh7RCPb5vYrTXCOLtyVyjkDnaZyAeqXnVG3lGe59YFcZ_ZnPly_DrL-WQoTf-T9xTFg9CExyEJIGgjYoKHRAzBsBPZzveXgmYiyX2DnM7scXoiaGbyNC9T1Cokx8N3RiLxvQrLQBnXE.jn_zvkt5kRVS7OHHJgTmuXLVtCGP0LXzXPvW77NPu5I&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+loss+of+a+lifetime&qid=1781905180&sprefix=the+loss+of+a+lifetime%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-1] * There’s No Escape [https://therumpus.net/2022/12/30/there-is-no-escape/] by Alyson Shelton * What I Want You to Say When I’m Grieving [https://www.elephantjournal.com/2021/01/what-i-want-you-to-say-when-im-grieving-lynn-shattuck/] by Lynn Shattuck:  * My 20-Year-Old Brother Died By Suicide. Here's Why I Almost Joined Him [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/brother-died-by-suicide_n_614773a4e4b077b735e7181e] by Lisa Cooper Ellison * Lynn’s Where I’m From Poem [https://www.instagram.com/tv/Chcq0qhIfxE/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link]  * Lisa’s Where I’m From Poem [https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1u2u3kyz9Q/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=ODhhZWM5NmIwOQ%3D%3D]  * Alyson’s Where I’m From Poem [https://www.instagram.com/tv/CZS05oZIwmK/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link]  * Get Your Free Human Design Report  [https://lisacooperellison.com/free-human-design-report] * Ditch Your Inner Critic Now  [https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/] Episode Highlights: * 3:23 Silent, Unacknowledged Grief * 7:45: The Impact of the Hierarchy of Grief * 12:23 The Benefits of Writing about Sibling Loss * 18:31: Grieving and Writing in Community * 23:49 Building the Sibling Loss Anthology * 32:48 Getting to Know Alyson and Lynn * 35:23 Lynn and Alyson’s Best Writing Advice Alyson’s Bio: ALYSON SHELTON is an award winning screenwriter and essayist. Her writing is widely published at outlets including The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/26/style/tiny-modern-love-stories-at-the-halloween-party-eager-to-go-home.html?searchResultPosition=2], Ms [https://msmagazine.com/2020/05/12/the-repercussions-of-trauma-as-a-former-patient-of-dr-george-tyndall/]. and The Rumpus [https://therumpus.net/2022/12/30/there-is-no-escape/]. She’s deeply proud of her collaborations with other female creatives, most notably, the comic, Reburn [https://www.reburncomic.com/]  and the films, To Hold The Night [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt29622059/?ref_=fn_all_ttl_1]and Eve of Understanding [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0455948/?ref_=fn_all_ttl_1]. She’s anthologized in Comics Lit Vol. 1 [https://accomplishinginnovationpress.com/product/comics-lit-vol-1/] (Accomplishing Innovation Press), No Contact: Writers on Estrangement [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/804409/no-contact-by-jenny-bartoy/] (Catapult), Root Cause: Stories of Health, Harm and Reclaiming Our Humanity (Editor: Jeannine Ouellette) and The Loss of a Lifetime: Grieving Siblings Share Stories of Love, Loss, and Hope [https://a.co/d/dv7lwgb] (Contributor and Co-Editor). She’s best known for her Instagram Live series inspired by George Ella Lyon’s poem, Where I’m From [https://www.alysonshelton.com/where-im-from.html#/] which celebrated episode 200 in summer 2025 and its partner podcast, Where I'm From [https://whereimfrom.transistor.fm/]. The poem also provides the spine for her memoir in progress. Lynn’s Bio: Lynn Shattuck writes on topics like grief, parenting, and mental health. She was a columnist at Elephant Journal for ten years, where several of her essays on the topic of grief and sibling loss, and parenting went viral.Lynn co-founded the website lossofalifetime.com [http://lossofalifetime.com/], a hub of resources and community for those who’ve experienced sibling loss. She co-edited the essay collection, The Loss of a Lifetime: Grieving Siblings Share Stories of Love, Loss, and Hope, which was released in June 2025. Connect with Lynn * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100064888772287 [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100064888772287] * Substack: https://lynnshattuck.substack.com/ Connect with Alyson * Website: www.alysonshelton.com [http://www.alysonshelton.com/] * Instagram: @byalysonshelton * Where I’m From poem project: https://www.alysonshelton.com/where-im-from.html#/ [https://www.alysonshelton.com/where-im-from.html#/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Byalysonshelton Connect with the Loss of a Lifetime Sibling Loss Group * Website: https://www.lossofalifetime.com/ * Instagram: @lossofalifetime Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/ [https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/] Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ [https://lisacooperellison.com/newsletter-subscribe/] Website [https://lisacooperellison.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/] Produced by Espresso Podcast Production [https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com]