Deep Cuts: Parent From Principles, Not Rules

I Built a Business That Doesn't Need Me | Jodie Cook

EPISODE SUMMARY Jodie Cook has lived several lives most people would be happy with just one of: founder of a social media agency she scaled and sold, author, Forbes columnist, competitive powerlifter for Great Britain, and now the founder of an AI company, Coachbox. But this conversation isn't a highlight reel. It's an excavation of the mental operating system underneath the wins — the framings and beliefs that let her keep moving when most people would freeze. We start with Charlie Cole, the alter ego she invented to catch herself in the act of “good girl conditioning” — the inherited training to be polite, agreeable, and small. From there the conversation moves through the stories that shaped her: a self-employed mother who taught her what work looked like, fifteen jobs before she was twenty-one, and an early decision that the words you use to describe yourself are the words you eventually become. The emotional center is March 2020. Jodie had built an agency that ran without her — she traveled four months a year, and her team pulled rocks out of her backpack rather than putting them in. Then COVID took a quarter of her clients in a week, and she had to decide who she was when the thing she'd built was on fire. What she did next, and what it taught her about when to hold on and when to let go, is the heart of this episode. For anyone who has built something successful and quietly wondered “is this it?” — or who suspects the story running their life was written by someone else — this is a conversation about taking the pen back. KEY TOPICS COVERED * Good girl conditioning & the alter ego: why Jodie invented Charlie Cole, and how an alter ego is permission to be more yourself. * The power of self-naming: calling it “my business” when it was just her — the label comes before the identity. * Money as freedom: how a purple Kia Picanto at 17 wired a belief that money equals freedom and travel. * A business that doesn't need you: rewarding self-sufficiency and getting your ego out of the team's way. * Reframing fear as “go time”: a childhood framing of nerves as excitement that became a lifelong advantage. * Adlerian psychology: why she believes you chose your problems — and why that's liberating. * “Living in the end”: the nightly visualization practice she uses before competitions and big decisions. * The personal success system: why everyone has a repeatable recipe for their wins. * Playing your ace cards: the things that come easy to you that you've been taught to hide. MEMORABLE QUOTES “I think that everyone's alter ego is just them. It's just who they would be if they weren't afraid of something or if they didn't need permission.” 📍 03:24 “take your power back. Who are you waiting for? Like no one cares, they're all doing their own stuff.” 📍 07:01 “my job is to never put out the same fire twice.” 📍 16:42 “I love the idea that nothing in my past had any power at all over who I am now. I chose it. Because you do take your power back.” 📍 34:36 “trying is a confession of absence. So as soon as you're trying to get something, you're like basically saying, I don't have it.” 📍 35:32 ABOUT JODIE COOK Jodie Cook is a British entrepreneur, author, and athlete. She founded a social media agency at 22 and sold it ten years later, then spent time helping other agency owners navigate their own exits. She is a Forbes columnist, the author of several books including Ten Year Career, and competes for Great Britain in bench press. Her latest venture is Coachbox AI, a platform that lets coaches, consultants, and founder-led businesses build their own AI version of themselves — a company that grew, fittingly, out of people simply asking her to make one for them. A committed digital nomad, she travels the world with a single suitcase and a clear philosophy: that the words you use to describe yourself shape who you become, and that almost everything you need to succeed, you already have. RESOURCES MENTIONED * The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga — the Adlerian book Jodie travels with * Alfred Adler / individual psychology — goal-based vs. cause-and-effect thinking * Neville Goddard — the “living in the end” philosophy * Akira the Don & “Meaning Wave” — introduced her to Goddard (album: Stop Trying) * Dr. Wayne Dyer — “see someone's highest potential and treat them like that's all you see” * Coachbox AI — Jodie's current company ABOUT YOUPOTENTIAL YouPotential explores what it means to live a meaningful life — through conversations about money, purpose, relationships, and becoming. Hosted by Shaun Maslyk. “Sometimes it's not the answers we learn from — but the questions.”

Deep Cuts: Parent From Principles, Not Rules

Most of us are making rules. Todd Kashdan is making principles. The difference shapes the kid. In this Deep Cuts, I pull the parenting threads out of my YouPotential conversation with Dr. Todd Kashdan — Professor of Psychology at George Mason University and one of the most cited researchers in the world on curiosity, psychological flexibility, and well-being. Todd grew up without a father. His mom died when he was twelve. He had almost no model for what an engaged dad looked like. So he built one — three principles his kids could recite by age five. We get into post-traumatic growth, the cult of high-achieving kids, the financial cost of the optimized childhood, the 10% retirement concept, psychological flexibility as a unified theory, and a practice called strengths-spotting that changed how I show up with my own son. It's not a how-to. It's a re-frame of what the job actually is. Key Topics * Todd's three principles — what to stand for instead of what to forbid * Post-traumatic growth and the name tag we don't have to wear * Beach Week — intel over interrogation * The cult of high-achieving kids and what we're really buying * Path A vs Path B — Todd's framework for teenagers * Why relationships predict happiness more than credentials * The 10% retirement — quietly stepping off the achievement treadmill * Psychological flexibility — meeting the moment instead of repeating yourself * Principled rebellion — how kids become adults who change institutions * Strengths-spotting — bolding and italicizing who your kid is becoming Memorable Quotes "Since my kids were five years old, they could recite the three principles of Todd as their dad. One, I'm going to make you laugh. Two, I'm gonna teach you stuff. Three, I'm always gonna be there." 📍 00:54 "I think all of us should basically try not to be enslaved by our past, but use it as a comparator of — this will not take place again on my watch." 📍 14:25 "We do know that this is the number one predictor cross-culturally of what predicts happiness — lasting, significant, meaningful interactions and relationships." 📍 40:39 "Everyone has this jagged profile of skills, abilities, personality traits. You have to figure out what dimension is going to work best in the situation that I'm in right now." 📍 1:21:06 "Consistency doesn't mean saying the same thing over and over — a lot of activists get this wrong." 📍 1:04:02 About Todd Kashdan Dr. Todd Kashdan is Professor of Psychology at George Mason University and director of the Well-Being Laboratory. He's one of the world's leading researchers on curiosity, psychological flexibility, and well-being — over 225 peer-reviewed articles, cited more than 35,000 times. He's the author of The Art of Insubordination, Curious?, The Upside of Your Dark Side, and Designing Positive Psychology. He writes the popular Substack Provoked. He's a father of twin daughters (plus one more). Connect With Todd 🌐 Website: toddkashdan.com 📚 Substack: toddkashdan.substack.com 📖 Books: The Art of Insubordination · Curious? · The Upside of Your Dark Side Resources Mentioned VIA Character Strengths Survey — viacharacter.org (Peterson & Seligman) Post-traumatic growth research — Tedeschi & Calhoun The 10% Retirement — Jay Van Bavel

What 200 Years of American History Knew About Money (That We Forgot) | Dr. Joseph Moore

Joseph Moore is a historian, author, and former academic who left a teaching salary to take what he calls his "big leap" — a leap his wife had to sign off on before he could make it. In this conversation, Shaun and Joseph dig into why that single act of partnership turned out to be more important than any investment Joseph ever made. Joseph pulls from 200 years of American history to make a case that almost no one in modern personal finance is making — that marriage was once considered the single most important financial decision a person could make, and the data still backs it up today. He shares the stats: married men retire with ten times the wealth of single or divorced men. Married women earn twice what single women earn. Married Black men out-earn single white men. And yet we have quietly traded that wisdom for spreadsheets and stock picks. The conversation takes a turn when Shaun asks what changed when Joseph hit his financial independence number. Joseph's answer is more honest than expected — almost nothing changed. Hitting the number did not deliver the identity shift he thought it would. To make the point real, he tells the story of the day he literally made himself a billionaire by issuing his own cryptocurrency. His wife's response is the punchline of the whole episode. What you walk away with is a quietly radical idea: net worth is a recent invention, and chasing it might be costing you the things that history says actually matter — the relationships, the second life you get to live in your sixties and beyond, and the small, ordinary moments like watching Bluey on the couch with your six-year-old. KEY TOPICS COVERED * The scantily clad budget summit — how a Jimmy Buffett-themed weekend became the moment Joseph asked his wife for permission to bet the family on a business * Marriage as financial superpower — why old business manuals taught young men how to pick a spouse before they taught them how to calculate interest * The card game of the 1840s — how families used to teach their kids about partnership and trade-offs * The myth of net worth — why this number did not exist in American life until the 1910s and why chasing it is a modern trap * Joseph's billionaire experiment — the day he made himself worth $1.1 billion and what happened next * The Bluey moment — his book hits number one and his daughter does not care * You live two lives — why Warren Buffett made 99% of his wealth after age 60 and what that means for the rest of us * The two-income family is ancient — why the idea that women just started working in the 1960s is historically wrong MEMORABLE QUOTES "Capitalism is a team sport. And that makes marriage a superpower." — Joseph Moore — 02:38 "Marriage is the single most important financial decision of your entire life." — Joseph Moore — 03:09 "I was a billionaire, but it didn't mean anything." — Joseph Moore — 07:46 "My net worth is a lot less valuable than my willingness to go coach seventh grade girls basketball." — Joseph Moore — 10:32 "You don't live one life, you live two." — Joseph Moore — 13:36 "You will ultimately choose your attitude and you will be the one who decides if you think things are filled with blessings or filled with curses — and choose the blessings." — Joseph Moore — 21:14 ABOUT JOSEPH MOORE Joseph Moore is a historian and author who walked away from an academic salary in his forties to test a single idea from American economic history. He spent years reading the old stuff — the manuals, the ledgers, the letters — and what he found pushed him to write a book. He is a father, a writer, and a self-described optimist in a culture that rewards cynicism. His new book is How to Get Rich in American History. He runs a Substack at josephmoorebooks.com where he shares his research and gives away the first chapter for free. CONNECT WITH JOSEPH * Website: josephmoorebooks.com [https://www.josephmoorebooks.com/] * Book: How to Get Rich in American History RESOURCES MENTIONED * Warren Buffett and the Berkshire Hathaway Annual Meeting (Omaha) * William Wells Brown — the formerly enslaved man who issued his own currency * Jane Austen novels (as references for "estate worth" vs. "net worth") * HGTV (referenced as a financial cautionary tale)

Deep Cuts: Why Contribution Matters More Than Productivity

This week's Deep Cuts weaves a single idea through two of my recent guests: Seth Godin and Dr. Mike Steger, the researcher behind the most-used meaning-in-life questionnaire in the world. The argument, in one sentence: we've confused being productive with being a contribution. Act 1 — The Idea. There are two kinds of contribution. The visible kind that produces status. The generative kind that produces something specific. Mike Steger names the three dimensions of meaning — coherence, purpose, and significance — and identifies the one most successful professionals are missing. Act 2 — The Tension. The work isn't to do more. The work is to focus. Seth tells the story of a wealth manager who built half a billion dollars in assets by sending clients to competitors when they asked for the wrong thing. Then comes the line of the episode: Grabbing things is how you drown. Act 3 — The Action. A two-week exercise. Seven evenings of noticing. Two if-then plans. Drawn from Steger's research on how meaning actually gets noticed and Gollwitzer's research on implementation intentions — replicated across more than ninety studies. If you've been quietly empty at the peak of your career, this one is for you. ▶ Full takeaway worksheet at the link in the description. ▶ Original episodes with Seth Godin and Dr. Mike Steger linked below. Subscribe for new YouPotential conversations every other Thursday — alternating guest episodes and Deep Cuts distillations.

You Can Afford Anything, But Not Everything | Paula Pant

Paula Pant grew up between two worlds. Her grandparents were illiterate tenant farmers in Nepal. Her grandmother was eight years old when she got married. Paula is the first in her direct lineage not to be a child bride. She came to America as a baby, grew up inside a Nepalese bubble where "are you going to be a doctor or an engineer" was the only question worth asking, and built a media company that has now reached over 45 million downloads. What's striking about Paula isn't the resume. It's the clarity. Fifteen years into running Afford Anything, she has thought longer and more carefully about what money actually buys than almost anyone in this space. And what she's landed on isn't a number. It's a capacity. The capacity to sit next to someone you love in a hospital, and not check your bank account before you book the flight. This conversation moves through a lot — the Harvard study on what predicts long-term happiness, the difference between residual income and financial independence, the arrival fallacy, why she thinks consumer sentiment is so disconnected from economic performance. But the throughline is calling. Paula believes most people end up in misaligned careers because they were chasing security, and that financial independence — even partial financial independence — gives you the leeway to do the work you'd actually want to do until you're ninety-nine. If you're somewhere in the middle of building wealth and wondering what the number is for, this is the conversation. KEY TOPICS COVERED * The Harvard study on happiness: Why quality of relationships is the #1 predictor of long-term well-being * Two mental models: Growing up between Nepalese survival logic and American consumer-economy possibility * "Your education is incomplete": The price of taking risks your parents can't see * Breaking a lineage: Child marriage, illiteracy, and what doesn't have to get passed down * The actual definition of financial freedom: Why it's about being able to absorb a black swan, not afford Michelin restaurants * Residual vs. passive income: Why the semantics matter less than the math * The arrival fallacy: Why your FI number is based on a single volatile data point * The pursuit, not the goal: Why financial independence is for choosing your calling, not retiring from work * Radical authenticity in content: Why leading beats following your audience * Thinking in decades, not quarters: How time horizon changes every decision MEMORABLE QUOTES "I am the first in my direct lineage to not be a child bride." 📍 Timestamp: [23:50] "I think the human nature is to build and contribute. If we are only consuming and not creating, that does lead to distress." 📍 Timestamp: [39:23] "You just need a basic, decent human standard of living." 📍 Timestamp: [35:30] "There are a lot of people who, in their early life, they get into the wrong career — and by wrong I mean misaligned." 📍 Timestamp: [41:25] "When you are in the work that you see as the thing you want to do until you're ninety-nine years old, then naturally you're going to think in decades." 📍 Timestamp: [1:00:10] ABOUT PAULA PANT Paula Pant is the founder and host of Afford Anything, a podcast and media brand exploring what she calls the Five Pillars: financial psychology, increasing your income, investing, real estate, and entrepreneurship. Afford Anything has been downloaded over 45 million times. Born in Kathmandu and raised in the United States, Paula spent her early twenties working as a newspaper reporter before quitting at 27 to travel out of a backpack for over two years. She returned with $25,000 in savings, the seeds of a brand, and a thesis that has held up for 15 years: you can afford anything, but you can't afford everything. She is one of the clearest thinkers on money mindset working today — and one of the rare voices who treats financial independence as a means, not an end.