Why You set Boundaries

Why You set Boundaries

In this episode we engaged in” Why you set boundaries for yourself?” Boundaries are just limits. It’s a line you draw that you feel protects you: emotionally, physically, socially, and or spatially. All through life we are faced with boundaries. From the time we were children, when our parents said, “No hitting your siblings,” to adults now having social distancing boundaries enforced. How often do you think about boundaries in your relationships? If you want a healthy relationship, you must be able to set and keep boundaries. Without them, you’re likely to have unnecessary conflict. You can set boundaries while you are dating or once you’ve actually made a commitment to a long-term relationship. Conflict can arise even with boundaries, but more conflict will come without them. For example, during the dating stage, men and women may not talk a great deal about each other having friends of the opposite sex (Or same sex, depending on where your preferences lay.). When committed to a long-term relationship and one or both of partners may want to hang out with someone who could seem competitive to them, it could cause an issue.   Some males don't like their partner to hang out with other guys - even if they say they are just friends. Some women are the same way. If their partner wants to go have dinner with a female friend, it is often times difficult for their partner to feel good about it. The same is true with same sex relations or any relationship.   Granted, some couples are completely fine with such arrangements, but the important key to note is to have a discussion about it. State what you are comfortable with and set boundaries if necessary.   Double standards are a no-no as well. If your partner tells you they are allowed to hang out with someone, but you are not allowed in the same way, that's a double standard. There have been incidents where one partner may restrict their partner of going out seeing their family or friends. This an abusive relationship of power and is not healthy for the one who is powerless. They need to get out of the situation immediately as there may be no room for their need for boundaries.   For optimal growth in a relationship, healthy boundaries ought to be discussed and agreed upon. Each person needs to take responsibility for their role in the relationship and draw lines when it comes to what is acceptable and what is not.   It’s alright for you to say no to things that you are uncomfortable with in a relationship. If he / she is flirting with the waitress bothers you, tell them. If she’s texting her ex and it bothers you, let her know.   Your expression may or may not result in your partner changing their behavior, but at least you can discuss how it makes you feel and not end up with resentments down the road. You’ll also find out, if this is the type of relationship you want long-term.   Within our body energy system, the belief and values we grow up will may need to change as they are not health. Often change in our boundaries will not be except by others as the are use to the old system. In my own family there was no clear boundaries in thinking differently, in behaviour, and rescuing system to keep you in the same system as before.   An example of this could be in a cult, where having no boundaries around sexual intimacy, only one way of thinking, not being allow to explore knowledge in throughout the universe. You are told the world is flat than you have to believe it is flat. Religious organizations can have a set of beliefs and values that can separate you from the rest of society.   In addition to boundaries that have already been mentioned, here are some other boundaries that are common in relationships:     1. Intimacy Have an honest discussion around sexual intimacy. Both you and your partner should be able to express your: •  thoughts •  beliefs •  and boundaries regarding sexual expression in the relationship. It might feel awkward, but press through. Understanding each other’s preferences, beliefs, and expectations can help your relationship thrive and leave less room for resentment, confusion, or other negative emotions.   2. Finances Discussions about finances are important in a relationship. Those that ignore this topic tend to run into problems down the road. Discuss your thoughts, expectations, and boundaries around money. If you don’t see eye to eye, work at a compromise that suits both of you.   3. Past relationships If anyone is badgering the other with questions of past relationships, that’s overstepping a boundary. You have every right to let your past stay in the past and so does your partner. Course, you’re free to share what you want, but when you feel assaulted with questions, it’s time to draw your line in the sand and say, “That’s not something I’m comfortable sharing with you.”     4. Loved ones It helps to set some boundaries around those outsides of your relationship, such as friends and family. Have a discussion about what you both want in terms of visiting hours, family interaction time, and how friendships come into play. Outside influences, such as in-laws or adult children can be a blessing or a curse depending on various factors. Determine what you’ll allow in your relationship in a way where you and your partner are respected. 5. Social media & technology If you’re the kind of person that doesn’t care if your partner gets on your social media, that’s great. But if you like your privacy, you have every right to say, “hands off”. Talk about what you desire and see what your partner desires when it comes to social media and technology. If you want your mobile phone, iPad, computer off limits to your partner, it’s alright for you to say so. This doesn’t mean you are hiding something. It means you enjoy your freedom when it comes to your things. And, vice versa if your partner tells you this. 6. Respect – The 6 Most Common Boundaries You Should Know & Set in Your Relationships... Every relationship ought to draw the boundary line of respect. This means not allowing name calling or any type of abuse. You deserve respect and so does your partner. If you’re not getting it, shore up your boundary line with a serious conversation. The 5 Love Languages & How They Can Help You Have a Healthier Relationship Boundaries Enhance Relationships They take shady areas out of the grey into clear and transparency. If boundaries are lacking, there may be confusion, anger, jealousy, or a host of other negative emotions.  So, think more about what boundaries you have in your relationship, and ones you’d like to set. Then, have a warm discussion around them with your partner. Your relationship will be better for it.   Boundaries and Energy When we have no boundaries or they are weak, it is very easy for us to become entangled in other peoples’ issues. We find ourselves emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. We may feel we are in a brain fog, tired, not sleeping very well at night, playing scenarios over and over in our brain, we could even become more frustrated with the situation and wondering why the person will not change. The solution(s) is right in front of them.   A couple of years ago my sister wanted to go to an Alon meeting and asked me if I would go with her. I said, “I would be there to support her.” Unfortunately, she was not ready to recognize she had issues with her husband’s drinking. For a couple years she would phone me and talk about her husband’s drinking. Sometimes she would come over for the weekend with her three daughters. My own boundaries were weak at the time, and I got caught up in her issues. I would give her solutions to solve her issues. It became emotionally and mentally draining on my energy.   I realized the only problems that I could solve were my own. As for my sister and her husband, I realized they were the only ones that could solve their problems. This is not a happy ever after ending for them or me.   Through understanding energy medicine, I always make sure I have an energy bubble around me.   What is an energy bubble? An energy bubble helps to shield your energy from people in your life who may be draining your energy or sending negative vibrations your way, consciously or subconsciously. I have an energy bubble around me everyday as you never know when you are around come across people energy who try to take your energy.   Try this visualization: First, Call the Universe light send healing energy and protection. Allow this white light surround you.  Visualize that the bubble’s boundary only allows love, positivity, and healing energy to enter. Visualize any negative and unwanted energy bouncing off of the bubble. Next, Call the Universe light to enfold you with unconditional love. Finally, call the Universe Light to infuse you with strength, understanding, forgiveness, and trust.\ Boundaries keep us safe and healthy. It assists us to become our authentic self.

Ways to Help You Release Sorrow and Grief

Good day, today’s podcast is “Ways to Help You Release Sorrow and Grief. I have been a United Church of Canada Minister for over 35 years and I have ministry in many churches. I have seen Grief and loss take on many forms. Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss—and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be. Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s largest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved [https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/bereavement-grieving-the-death-of-a-loved-one.htm] one [https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/bereavement-grieving-the-death-of-a-loved-one.htm]—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief, including: Termination from a job, company closing, serious illness, divorce or break-up of a relationship, financial stability, a miscarriage, retirement, death of a pet, loss of a friendship, loss of a dream, loss of safety after trauma, selling the family home, and so on so forth.   Even subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. For example, you might grieve after moving away from home, children changing schools, graduating from college, or changing jobs. Whatever your loss, it's personal to you, so don't feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it's somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it's normal to grieve the loss you're experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain, in time, can ease your sadness and help yourself come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life. It can appear when you least expect it, such as when you finally think you’ve processed what has happened. At other times, it may feel heavy, like a crushing weight you can’t quite crawl out from under. Many of us have been taught not to cry in north American culture especially males as it is a sign of weakness. In fact, processing grief can take significant time and various rituals. Some even say we don’t actually process grief but merely get used to it. However, we can practice ways to let go and accept our emotions. Whether you’ve lost a loved one or are facing the end of a relationship, the hurt exists. It’s real. For some time, we may feel as though we need to hold onto it for fear of more loss and hurt. So, when you’re ready to let go and move forward, use the following ways to release sorrow and grief, making room for new and happier emotions to enter your life once again. We carry grief and sorrow within our energy fields and our bodies. The two place of sadness is carried in the heart chakra or top part of the breast bone. Another area where emotions of grief and sadness is in our abdominal area. Stomach aches, loss of appetite, lungs (grief), upper back and heart, chest and the throat. Trapped emotions can cause many sensations in the body. For difficult emotions, this could include: ·      muscle tension or tightness ·      a feeling of heaviness or tiredness ·      a “lump” or choking sensation in the throat ·      aching or pain ·      nausea or “knots” in the stomach   Here are some practical methods to try in assisting you in your grief and sadness.   1.  Write a Letter. This could be to your ex or to the one who is gone. This can offer a safe and private space to pour out your emotions. Take your time. Write anything that comes to mind, whether that includes regrets or the unknown of how to move forward without them. You can even use this space to write what you appreciated about them being in your life, leaning into a bit of positivity if it feels right. 2. Bury It (Literally, Not Figuratively). Okay, this may feel a little “woo-woo.” Yet, this practice offers a symbolic way to let go. •  Grab an item or your letter. •  Find a place amongst nature. •  Now, dig a small but shallow hole in the ground. •  Place your item or letter (just make sure it’s environmentally friendly) in the hole. Here, you can choose to say a few words, such as, “I’ve carried this weight for too long and am ready to let it go. I’m ready to allow Mother Nature to use this energy for growth.” Then, either burn the item (if this is allowed and safe!). Or bury it.   3. Give Yourself Permission to Feel. Many of us try to fight our emotions, especially when they are negative. What if this time, you gave yourself permission to feel it? What if you allowed yourself to cry until you couldn’t anymore? Surprisingly, this can be very cleansing, offering some release and some reprieve from the heavy weight of loss and grief you might be feeling. Providing yourself with some compassion and letting yourself feel the emotions so you can heal them may offer you a path forward and a way to move on. 4. Be Patient. Time is your friend here. While we can’t change the past, we can learn to that as time goes on, we may feel better and that practicing patience with ourselves is the best way to go. Pain can be healthy. And healthy pain means allowing the emotions to come up as time goes on and not suppressing them. 5. Say Goodbye. Whether you had a chance or not, maybe closure wasn’t there. Or perhaps the time didn’t allow for a proper farewell. Or maybe you just wanted more time; so much was left unsaid. While funerals offer a public place to say goodbye, you can also do it in your own time. Writing a letter, as per the above, can be very healing. Additionally, just spending time talking to the person from your heart when you’re alone can be very healing. Imagine them standing in front of you. •  What would you say? •  What are you wanting them to know? •  What would make you feel even slightly better being able to express to them? While you do this, you may want to light a candle or incense, making it a more formal and personal farewell. 6. Create a Memory Box. This provides somewhere you can go when you’re really missing your loved one. A memory box might include a simple shoebox filled with small items that are sentimental to you or remind you of them. This can help you feel closer to them when you’re struggling. It can provide space for you to talk with them still, even though they aren’t there. 7. Plant Something in Their Honor. Seriously! Where there has been loss, give life. This might mean planting a new tree or annual plant to signify the circle of life and honor the one lost. It can also provide a place where you can visit and think about your memories together. 8. I honor both my parents on special occasions, such as: birthdays and anniversary, Christmas and Easter, Mother’s and Father’s Day. There are times we even set a place for them at the table, knowing that their spirit is welcome.     Here are some Re-Energizing Technique you can do: I often place my hands just above my breast and softly rub in a clockwise direction. I think of my friends, family members that have died and the flood of joyous memories that come to me. This is a way of releasing the heavy energy you hold within you heart and sacral charkas. Donna Eden says by putting two a couple of fingers under your thymus bone you will be able to relieve your anxiety and your grief by rubbing these two points on each side. Gentle rake your lungs with your fingers across the top above your chest, pulling the heavy energy off and allowing you to breath easier. Meditations – I use the Honest Guys on YouTube of “Letting Go” for releasing grief emotions. There are other free meditations on YouTube that you can use for meditation. Most Important: Know That Grief is Okay to Feel It’s a completely natural response to loss, whether that loss was by choice or not. The truth is, grief can feel overwhelming, making us want to push it away. However, this often only makes it more pronounced, echoing in other parts of our lives or actions. Instead, feeling our way through is the best way to heal and as we gradually begin to feel like ourselves again.

Growing Can Be Uncomfortable | EP006

In today’s episode, host Jo-Anne Kobylka explores how discomfort often signals personal growth. Sharing 10 key indicators, including personal growth, and outgrowing old dreams, emphasizes the importance of trusting the process of life and rediscovering oneself. She encourages focusing on quality over quantity in relationships and experiences and understanding others' points of view. Through the process of rediscovery, people often reconnect with old passions and rediscover their love for creative pursuits, leading to a positive impact on energy alignment and personal power. About Jo-Anne: Amassing prestigious credentials over time in business administration, human resources, physical education, and theology, Jo-Anne Kobylka was determined to follow her life’s purpose, guiding others on their spiritual journey to lead their best life. She initially turned her talents to church program administration and, after a brief stint with the Edmonton Public School Board, assisting instructors with special needs children, she returned to the United Church of Canada in a pastoral leadership role and enjoyed many placements as congregation minister over the many years.  Dawning within the mind of this enlightened altruist, however, was the realization that she possessed a very unique, intuitive understanding of life energy and its transformative power. When she had the opportunity to study Reiki, Jo-Anne was in her true element. She became a master, using her innate gift for healing to support the seriously ill.  Now, Jo-Anne is an expert in energetic alignment and personal power optimization. With Jo-Anne on your team, you don't have to live an unrewarding, directionless existence ruled by fear, doubt, lack, and limitation. Albert Einstein advised that when your energy vibration matches the frequency of the reality you want, the ideal life you’ve imagined, you cannot help but attain that reality.  How then do you raise your energy vibration? The answer is Jo-Anne Kobylka. She helps us move away from the typical frustration and daily struggle and work towards living in the limitless higher-level alignment that is our birthright. Once you’re in alignment, everything starts to flow your way. You live an authentic, powerful life secure in the truth that everything is possible! Connect with Jo-Anne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-anne-kobylka-717a3b55/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-anne-kobylka-717a3b55/] www.connectedtransition.com [http://www.connectedtransition.com] Email: jo-anne@connectedtransition.com [jo-anne@connectedtransition.com] Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Understanding Your Dreams with Pearl Gregor, Phd. | EP005

In this episode, Jo-Anne Kobylka, and Pearl Gregor, explore the transformative power of dreams for personal growth and empowerment, especially for women. They share personal experiences and insights on dream interpretation, emphasizing the importance of engaging with dreams for healing and self-discovery. The conversation also addresses the cultural shadow of aging, urging recognition and acceptance of the natural aging process rather than hiding it. Pearl and Jo-Anne highlight the value of elderly wisdom and the contributions of older individuals to society, emphasizing the importance of intergenerational relationships and storytelling. Personal anecdotes, such as Pearl's grandmother knitting mittens for 50 grandkids and an elderly couple's golfing routine, illustrate the significance of these connections. Finally, they discuss healing through journaling, prayer, and meditation. About the Guest: Pearl (Kramps) Gregor, Phd. Pearl is a Dream Coach, Author, Public Speaker. Coaching you to deep learning from your dreams. Work with groups or individuals. Pearl is passionate about learning. I began studying dreams in 1988. By 2015, widowed, retired, and finished my doctorate. She has just finished publishing her latest book  "The Grief Monster," the much-anticipated children's book.  This is our chance to embrace a story that offers comfort, understanding, and hope to children navigating the challenging journey of grief. www.dreamsalongtheway.com [http://www.dreamsalongtheway.com/] www.linkedin.com/in/pearlgregorauthorphd-843a8912 [http://www.linkedin.com/in/pearlgregorauthorphd-843a8912] pecgregor@gmail.com [pecgregor@gmail.com] About Jo-Anne: Amassing prestigious credentials over time in business administration, human resources, physical education, and theology, Jo-Anne Kobylka was determined to follow her life’s purpose, guiding others on their spiritual journey to lead their best life. She initially turned her talents to church program administration and, after a brief stint with the Edmonton Public School Board, assisting instructors with special needs children, she returned to the United Church of Canada in a pastoral leadership role and enjoyed many placements as congregation minister over the many years.  Dawning within the mind of this enlightened altruist, however, was the realization that she possessed a very unique, intuitive understanding of life energy and its transformative power. When she had the opportunity to study Reiki, Jo-Anne was in her true element. She became a master, using her innate gift for healing to support the seriously ill.  Now, Jo-Anne is an expert in energetic alignment and personal power optimization. With Jo-Anne on your team, you don't have to live an unrewarding, directionless existence ruled by fear, doubt, lack, and limitation. Albert Einstein advised that when your energy vibration matches the frequency of the reality you want, the ideal life you’ve imagined, you cannot help but attain that reality.  How then do you raise your energy vibration? The answer is Jo-Anne Kobylka. She helps us move away from the typical frustration and daily struggle and work towards living in the limitless higher-level alignment that is our birthright. Once you’re in alignment, everything starts to flow your way. You live an authentic, powerful life secure in the truth that everything is possible! Connect with Jo-Anne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-anne-kobylka-717a3b55/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-anne-kobylka-717a3b55/] www.connectedtransition.com [http://www.connectedtransition.com] Email: jo-anne@connectedtransition.com [jo-anne@connectedtransition.com] Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

It's Your Choice for Health with Sheila Dancho | EP004

In this episode, Jo-Anne Kobylka and Sheila Dan explore holistic health and wellness, emphasizing the importance of addressing mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects, not just nutrition and exercise. Sheila shares her journey from a high-stress corporate lifestyle to becoming a health entrepreneur, highlighting her program’s focus on low-glycemic foods, supplements, and mental well-being. Representing USANA Health Sciences, Sheila collaborates with NLP practitioners, RTT hypnosis experts, and EFT coaches to facilitate deeper emotional changes. They discuss how childhood experiences shape eating habits and behaviours, and share success stories of clients overcoming significant challenges such as sexual abuse, trauma, and unconscious eating habits through NLP coaching and energy healing. Jo-Anne shares her health transformations, and Sheila shares a testimony for a client showcasing the benefits of her program Get Healthy program, which improves mental clarity, sleep, and energy levels. Sheila and Jo-Anne emphasize the importance of integrating psychologists or psychiatrists for deeper emotional work while highlighting the power of NLP coaching in providing clients with more choices and conscious decision-making.  About our Guest: Sheila Dancho embodies the ideal entrepreneur of today. As the founder and CEO of three diversified businesses, each with its own subsequent stream of passive income, she is the epitome of success, but her status as such was surprisingly hard-won. As a certified health coach, high-performance supplements specialist, and expert neuro-linguistics trainer, practitioner, this enterprising thought leader, and sought-after speaker is essentially a “leading edge lifestylist” eager to share her winning strategy. If you feel currently blocked having lost your spark, Sheila is passionate about showing you the importance of building that essential foundation of overall well-being that supports your self-actualization, ultimately doing business at the top of your game, living that ideal life you’ve imagined. https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheiladancho/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheiladancho/] About Jo-Anne: Amassing prestigious credentials over time in business administration, human resources, physical education, and theology, Jo-Anne Kobylka was determined to follow her life’s purpose, guiding others on their spiritual journey to lead their best life. She initially turned her talents to church program administration and, after a brief stint with the Edmonton Public School Board, assisting instructors with special needs children, she returned to the United Church of Canada in a pastoral leadership role and enjoyed many placements as congregation minister over the many years.  Dawning within the mind of this enlightened altruist, however, was the realization that she possessed a very unique, intuitive understanding of life energy and its transformative power. When she had the opportunity to study Reiki, Jo-Anne was in her true element. She became a master, using her innate gift for healing to support the seriously ill.  Now, Jo-Anne is an expert in energetic alignment and personal power optimization. With Jo-Anne on your team, you don't have to live an unrewarding, directionless existence ruled by fear, doubt, lack, and limitation. Albert Einstein advised that when your energy vibration matches the frequency of the reality you want, the ideal life you’ve imagined, you cannot help but attain that reality.  How then do you raise your energy vibration? The answer is Jo-Anne Kobylka. She helps us move away from the typical frustration and daily struggle and work towards living in the limitless higher-level alignment that is our birthright. Once you’re in alignment, everything starts to flow your way. You live an authentic, powerful life secure in the truth that everything is possible! Connect with Jo-Anne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-anne-kobylka-717a3b55/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-anne-kobylka-717a3b55/] www.connectedtransition.com [http://www.connectedtransition.com] Email: jo-anne@connectedtransition.com [jo-anne@connectedtransition.com] Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.