2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Bert's Not Dead | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - Sponsored by Pepsi. Go try Pepsi Zero Sugar today. Let Your Taste Decide. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BEARS at https://bluechew.com - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears - Sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears - Head to https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. - Get up to 55% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. This week on Two Bears, One Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer spiral gloriously through brand loyalty, fast-food hot takes, donuts, Super Bowl commercials, health scares, and the kind of brutally honest conversations only best friends can have. The Bears break down why Pepsi Zero Sugar might actually be better than Coke Zero, debate McDonald’s fries vs. literally everyone else, and revisit classic brand wars like Burger King vs. McDonald’s and Dunkin’ vs. Krispy Kreme. From Blooming Onion horror stories to why you should never order seafood at a steakhouse, this episode is packed with food takes that will absolutely start arguments. Bert also opens up about his recent blood clot scare, panic attacks, medications, and how the experience completely shifted his perspective on health, mortality, and gratitude. The guys also talk sleep apnea machines, Benadryl addictions, Mounjaro side effects, testosterone confusion, and why medical advice somehow never agrees ever. Plus: donut shop conspiracies in Los Angeles, Cambodian vs. Vietnamese sandwich excellence, Krispy Kreme’s wild history, Instagram’s “fatties eating” algorithm, tracking down Ari Shaffir in the jungle, and why the 2 Bears 5K might literally save lives. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 324 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:06 - Brand Wars 00:07:07 - Weight Loss Drugs 00:14:58 - Pepsi Challenge 00:22:40 - I Bought A Donut Shop 00:39:22 - Coin Pusher 00:40:54 - 2 Bears 5K Is Back! 00:45:13 - Bert's Blood Clot 00:49:38 - Where In The World Is Ari Shaffir? 00:54:39 - Black Appreciation 01:00:41 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

The End Of Humanity | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears The OG Bears are back on this absolutely unhinged episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive headfirst into VR porn disasters, accidental virtual orgies, and the terrifying realization that Oculus might actually be ending humanity. Bert recounts a weekend alone that spirals into nine virtual orgies, soul-stealing eye contact, and panic-induced controller fumbling in a pitch-black room. The Bears also unpack loneliness, online hate comments, incel psychology, and how social media gives angry dudes a place to scream just to feel noticed. From there, things somehow get deeper: wealth guilt, excess consumption, purging hundreds of shoes and jackets, Mounjaro weight loss, beating Jelly Roll in the next 2 Bears 5K, parenting chaos, friendship evolution, Jake Paul as a “god,” and why success is always part luck. Enjoy the Bears while they're here. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 323 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York: call 8778- HOPENY or text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777 or visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:14 - Bert's First Threesome 00:05:58 - Mean Comments 00:13:05 - Hanging With The Kids During Christmas 00:30:02 - Stroke Of Luck 00:34:11 - Excess & Purging Stuff 00:44:05 - Weight Loss, Mounjaro & Jelly Roll 00:55:15 - Jake Paul Is A God? 01:01:01 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

New Year New Roast | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BEARS. Visit https://bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - This January, quit overspending on wireless with 50% off Unlimited premium wireless. Plans start at $15/month at https://mintmobile.com/BEARS. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears It’s the final Winter Bears of the season, and Stavros & Chris are ringing in the New Year the only way they know how: complaining about first class, overeating pastries, and making terrible life decisions! As 2025 wraps, the boys reflect on blown resolutions, chaotic travel plans, New Jersey “vacations,” and Chris’ catastrophic decision to roast the entire Jersey Shore cast. Plus: Delta lounge politics, childhood SNL trauma, double-the-bread-double-the-head, and Stav helping Chris talk through the worst career choice he’s ever made. Grab a croissant, buckle up, and celebrate the end of the Winter Bears era as we begin a new year! https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:09 - First Class Complaints & Latent Homo Things 00:09:00 - New Years Resolutions 00:18:27 - Roasting The Jersey Shore Cast 00:28:45 - Workshopping Roast Jokes 00:39:43 - This Is Probably A Dumb Idea 00:45:02 - The Jersey Shore Photo Roast Session 00:51:31 - New Years Plans & NFL Roasts 00:55:00 - More "Fan" Questions 01:03:37 - Final Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Pimping Podcast Producers | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - New Year, New Me! Get Huel for FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF with this exclusive offer for New Customers only with code BEARS at https://huel.com/bears (Minimum $75 purchase). The Winter Bears Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another completely unhinged takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer nowhere to be found, the guys openly admit they once again didn’t prepare, and then immediately spiral into bread rankings, prostate exams, STD horror stories, religion, celebrity gossip, and the most deranged podcast business ideas ever pitched. From focaccia-based trauma, to almost doing business with Jeffrey Epstein’s brother, this episode goes fully off the rails and never checks the map again. Hit subscribe, brace yourself, and remember: this episode exists only because someone might need it someday. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:38 - Fat Boy Pastry Shop 00:07:42 - Just The Tip 00:11:53 - Sexually Transmitted Hilarity 00:25:13 - Family 00:31:15 - Third World Fun & Legendary Funbags 00:35:13 - Pimping Podcast Producers 00:43:42 - Doing Business With An Epstein 00:54:16 - Health Corner 01:01:52 - In Conclusion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Chris & Stavvy Save Christmas! | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Merry Winter Bears-mas! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano take over 2 Bears 1 Cave while Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are away, and immediately turn it into a holiday fever dream. The Winter Bears dive into chaotic Christmas traditions, Jewish Christmas supremacy, family trauma, weight-loss delusion, wild childhood memories, and the politics of gift-giving. Along the way, they spiral into ancestry revelations, Oldboy-level revenge fantasies, questionable parenting strategies, croissant mukbangs, and an all-time debate over the perfect Christmas Chinese food order. Grab a pastry and strap in — this might be the most unhinged holiday episode in 2 Bears history. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 320 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:57 - Revenge & Christmas Plans 00:06:57 - The Germans Always Make Good Stuff 00:16:33 - Perfect Holiday Dinner Conversations 00:23:38 - Are Greeks Whites? 00:30:40 - Let's Eat Some Tommy Bunz 00:33:35 - Christmas Gifts 00:44:09 - Greek Thieves, Bribing Kids, & Daddy Stavvy 00:52:17 - Favorite Chinese Food Order 00:59:00 - Living The NYC Dream 01:02:28 - Answering Some "Fan" Questions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]