Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan

Gentle Parenting, Military Life & Raising Independent Kids | Conversation with Joy Alfred Brand

If modern parenting feels exhausting, overwhelming, or way more complicated than it needs to be, this conversation will feel like a deep breath. In this episode, I sit down with Joy Alfred Brand for an honest conversation about gentle parenting, military family life, raising independent kids, and what it really means to lead at home without trying to control every move your child makes. We talk about motherhood, entrepreneurship, military marriage, deployments, and the pressure so many parents feel to do everything “right” while quietly wondering why parenting feels so hard. I also share parts of my own story, going from one child to triplets, learning through Montessori, building a business, navigating military life, and slowly realizing that raising capable kids does not come from yelling, over-parenting, or managing every moment for them. It comes from leadership, structure, trust, boundaries, and letting kids build real skills inside the family. If you’re trying to raise respectful, resilient, independent kids without losing yourself in the process, I hope this conversation gives you some encouragement and a little more confidence in the long game. Thank you for listening and being part of this parenting community. If you like this conversation please like or comment your thoughts and subscribe for more updates. Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571] Resources: * Learn how you can work with Sue at: https://www.askmomparenting.com/coaching/ [https://www.askmomparenting.com/coaching/] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/] * Grab a copy of Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2]

How to Help Your ADHD Child Before Medication

What if your ADHD child doesn't need more reminders, but a better system? Your child knows where the shoes go. They know the backpack needs to make it to school. And yet somehow, every morning still feels like a scavenger hunt mixed with a power struggle. In this episode, I’m talking about one of the biggest mindset shifts parents can make when it comes to ADHD: stopping the cycle of constant reminders and starting to build systems that actually support how your child’s brain works.   I’m sharing practical ways parents can create calmer routines, reduce chaos at home, and help ADHD kids build lifelong skills without turning every moment into a lecture or battle. This conversation is all about helping parents feel empowered again and showing kids that they’re capable, supported, and understood...not “the difficult one” in the family. If you’ve ever asked yourself… * Why does my child forget things even when I know they heard me? * How do I help my ADHD child without constantly yelling or nagging? * Is my child being lazy… or genuinely stuck? * What can I do at home before jumping straight to medication? * How do I create routines that actually work for my child’s brain? * Why do mornings and transitions feel so exhausting in our house? * How can I help my child become more independent over time? …then listen to this one for all the answers.   Small shifts at home can change the entire tone of parenting! This episode will help you start looking at your child, and your systems, through a completely different lens.   Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571]   Resources: * Learn how you can work with Sue at: https://www.askmomparenting.com/coaching/ [https://www.askmomparenting.com/coaching/] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/] * Grab a copy of Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2]

Are You a People Pleaser Raising a Strong-Willed Child?

Parenting a strong-willed kid as a people-pleaser can lead to constant power struggles... but it doesn't have to be that way! If you’ve spent your life trying to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or make everyone happy, raising a strong-willed child can feel exhausting and confusing. In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the biggest parenting patterns I see: people-pleasing parents unintentionally giving away their leadership because they’re uncomfortable holding firm boundaries. It might feel kinder to over-explain, soften the “no,” or avoid upsetting your child, but with strong-willed kids, that approach often leads to more negotiating, more pushback, and bigger power struggles. In my own parenting journey, I realized that constantly explaining, negotiating, and trying to avoid conflict was actually teaching my child that my boundaries were flexible. In this episode, I’ll walk you through the mindset shifts that changed everything for me, plus how to lead your child with calm authority without becoming controlling, harsh, or disconnected. If you've ever asked yourself... * Why does my child push back on everything I say? * How do I hold boundaries without feeling guilty? * Why do I keep giving in even when I know I shouldn’t? * How do I stop negotiating every little thing with my child? * Why does saying “no” feel so emotionally hard for me? * What actually works with strong-willed kids without yelling or constant punishment? …then listen to this one for all the answers. The more you shift from people-pleasing to steady leadership, the easier it becomes to parent your strong-willed child with confidence, clarity, and connection. Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571] Resources: * Learn how you can work with Sue at: https://www.askmomparenting.com/coaching/ [https://www.askmomparenting.com/coaching/] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/] * Grab a copy of Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 ⁠⁠ [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2]

Authority vs. Influence (Why High Achievers Struggle With Parenting)

Most high-performing parents approach parenting the same way they approach everything else in life… and it often backfires! If you’re used to leading, achieving, and getting results, it can feel confusing and frustrating when those same skills don’t seem to work at home. In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the biggest parenting disconnects I see: relying on authority and control instead of building influence with your kids. It might feel natural to expect quick compliance, but with kids, that approach often leads to resistance, power struggles, and more yelling. In my early parenting years I found myself constantly frustrated, expecting my kids to respond the way adults do… and realizing that approach was actually making things worse. In this episode I’ll walk you through the key shift that changed everything for me, plus how to move from short-term obedience to long-term connection, trust, and self-management. If you've ever asked yourself... * Why does my child listen at first but then go right back to the behavior when I’m not around? * How do I get my kids to listen without repeating myself or raising my voice? * Why does my child push back so much when I’m just trying to help? * How do I build respect without relying on fear or authority? * What actually works if control and pressure don’t? …then listen to this one for all the answers. The more you shift from control to connection, the easier it becomes to lead your kids in a way that actually works. Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571] Resources: * Grab a copy of Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 ⁠⁠ [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2] * Learn how you can work with Sue at: http://askmomparenting.com/get-help [http://askmomparenting.com/get-help] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/]

How to Tell If It’s a Tantrum or Bad Behavior (And What to Do Next)

Most parents react to tantrums and bad behavior the same way, and it often backfires!   If your child’s meltdowns all start to look the same, it’s easy to feel stuck, frustrated, and unsure what to do next. In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the biggest parenting mistakes I see: treating tantrums and bad behavior like they’re the same thing. They may look similar on the outside, but they need very different responses.   I share a personal story from my own early parenting years when our three-year-old seemed to go from sweet and steady to full meltdown mode overnight, plus the lesson that changed everything for our family. I’ll walk you through how to spot the difference between a child who is overwhelmed versus a child who is testing limits, and share practical strategies for how to respond to each one so you can help instead of making things worse.   If you've ever asked yourself... * Is this a real tantrum or is my child just pushing boundaries? * Why does my child’s behavior get worse when I try to talk them through it? * Should I ignore this behavior or step in right away? * Why do some meltdowns seem random while others keep repeating? * How do I stay calm when everything feels like it’s escalating? * What response will actually help change this pattern? …then listen to this one for all the answers.   The more clearly you understand the behavior in front of you, the easier it becomes to respond with confidence!   Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571]   Resources: * Tantrum & Behavior Rescue Kit: https://academy.askmomparenting.com/courses/offers/293ab1ba-a7d8-4bcf-bd48-b5b95e8d8c1a [https://academy.askmomparenting.com/courses/offers/293ab1ba-a7d8-4bcf-bd48-b5b95e8d8c1a] * Learn how you can work with Sue at: http://askmomparenting.com/get-help [http://askmomparenting.com/get-help] * Read Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 ⁠⁠ [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/]