Birota Est Moenia

We Asked a Ghost for Life Advice (We Regret It)

In the debut episode of Birota Est Moenia, Velo, Ima, and Youls attempt the impossible: interviewing a ghost for life advice. Things spiral into regret almost instantly. What begins as a dumb question about the afterlife ends with existential dread, cold pizza trauma, and three oval-shaped idiots questioning why they exist at all. Segments this episode include: * Main Topic: The trio summons a ghost and ask him about life’s big questions. Spoiler: the answer is “leftovers.” * Breaking News: Newsman Andrew Porter reports on clouds suing humanity for defamation. * Quiz Time: The trio hosts Guess That Corpse Age! (this was definitely a mistake). * Order!: A courtroom case where someone sues for “emotional damage” caused by ghost trauma. Justice is not served. Key Moments: * Velo burns his tongue on a servo sausage roll. * Ima admits to eating two Doritos as “breakfast.” * Youls feeds a stray dog that promptly bites him. * The ghost flips them off before disappearing forever. * Court rules that “life itself is emotional damage.” * Closing line: “Episode is over. Leave.” Vibe Check: * Absurdist dark comedy * Nihilistic but silly * Feels like a podcast, but it isn’t * Made to confuse you on purpose Disclaimer: Do not use this episode as actual life advice. Or any advice. Especially not from ghosts.