Chill Like a Mother Podcast

The Dishes Are Not the Problem: Mom Mental Load, Over-Functioning, and Choosing Yourself

Most moms I know have said it out loud at some point - if I don't do it, it's not going to get done.  In this episode, Kayla sits down with licensed mental health therapist, couples coach, and Cedar & Rain Consulting founder Angela Tam to pull that sentence apart and find out what's actually living underneath it.  We talk about why the mental load is a symptom, not the root cause - and why focusing on the task imbalance often keeps moms stuck in resentment. Angela shares five concrete steps that helped her move from household prime minister to a woman who has room for pleasure, creativity, and actual partnership.  This one is honest, a little uncomfortable, and ultimately freeing. Because the dishes are not really about the dishes.  Topics: the over-functioning mom identity, why Angela deliberately renovated her kitchen sink, the role childhood plays in how moms carry the mental load, and how to repair without an agenda.  Find Angela at cedarandrain.org [http://cedarandrain.org] and on YouTube at Invisible Load Reset.

Meghan Watson on Mom Creativity, Matrescence, and Making Art with What You've Got

If you've ever said "I lost myself in motherhood" - this episode is going to reframe that for you. Kayla sits down with Meghan Watson, therapist and collage artist based in Ontario, to talk about what actually happens to creative identity when you become a mom. Megan spent years as a prolific writer - ghost-writing for mental health companies, running a practice, building a Substack - and then had her son and found that the words just stopped coming. Six months postpartum, she came up for air and realized she was creatively spent. What she didn't know yet was that her creativity hadn't disappeared. It had changed form entirely. In this conversation, Meghan and Kayla dig into the real reason mom creativity goes quiet postpartum, why "I lost myself" is more disorienting than accurate, and what it actually looks like to rebuild a creative practice around real mom life - not the one you had before. Meghan also shares two of the most accessible entry points into a creative practice that she's ever heard: starting a collection and drawing a small square. No special setup required. You'll also hear Meghan's take on precision over perfection, why mess being allowed is sometimes the deepest work for moms who grew up in rigid households, and how accessibility - not more time - is what actually keeps creativity alive. If your creative self has been quiet since you became a mom, this one is worth your commute. Find Meghan on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thrive_withmeg/] and Substack. [https://meghanwatson.substack.com/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGnY48-lcgB-x2W0m7XfYxbujoqJ9rwQu6L8hjPqjaldIc843XfvrkKiOYytS4_aem_lptz5mSfGu4zdYYLpesYUA&utm_id=97760_v0_s00_e0_tv3_a1dennh3p4oqw7]

Emotional Regulation for Moms: How to Work With Your Triggers Before They Work Against You

In part two of this conversation, registered social worker and mom guilt therapist Kayla Huszar and therapist Danik Bernier, MSW RSW, get practical. If part one was about recognizing what you're carrying, this episode is about what to actually do with it — before the hard moment hits. Danik introduces the window of threat: the moment in your 24-hour cycle where you're most at risk of going into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn — and giving from a place of total depletion. She breaks down why the emotional regulation tools that circulate on social media don't work in the moment, and what proactivity actually looks like for moms who want to show up differently. Kayla shares the somatic tool her couples counselor gave her for unregulated anger — the one she thought was completely nuts — and what happened when she actually did it 100 times a day for a week. This is the missing piece. Not a new tool. A new strategy for when to use it. Go back and listen to part one first if you haven't — episode 85. Grab the Good Moms Get Mad free toolkit at kaylahuszar.com [http://kaylahuszar.com]. And check out Danik's podcast, the Healing Mothers Club.

The One Thing You Need to Know About Breaking Intergenerational Patterns as a Mom with Danik Bernier

Some of what you feel as a mother isn't actually yours. In this episode of the Chill Like a Mother podcast, registered social worker and mom guilt therapist Kayla Huszar sits down with therapist Danik Bernier, MSW RSW, to talk about what intergenerational trauma actually feels like in the bodies of modern moms - and how to start telling the difference between what you've earned and what you've inherited. Danik shares the story of her great-grandmother Simone, institutionalized in Brockville, Ontario in the 1950s, separated from her five children, and largely forgotten by family history - until Danik went looking. What she found in century-old medical records changed how she understood her own 2am panic, her family's patterns, and her work as a therapist. In part one of this two-part conversation: what intergenerational trauma feels like in the body, how to start noticing what might not be yours, and why your confusion is data - not failure. Part two drops next week. Subscribe so you don't miss it. Grab the Good Moms Get Mad free toolkit at kaylahuszar.com [http://kaylahuszar.com].

What Moms Need to Know About Sitting With Hard Emotions with Dr. Jenn Rapkin

ATTN: MOMS! When was the last time you had a feeling and just... let it be there? Not ignored it. Not scrolled until it passed. Not hidden in the bathroom for a minute of fake peace. Just let it actually exist in your body for a minute. For most of us moms it's probably been a while. And I think I know why. Dr. Jenn Rapkin is a naturopathic physician, bodyworker, and author of The Feeling Muscle. She lives with OCD. She's raising a child with OCD. And she has the most grounded, non-woo take on how we actually get better at this. In this episode: why avoidance keeps moms small, how emotions actually move through the body, and what her son's OCD taught her about sitting with hard feelings. My fave quote from Jenn: if we live our lives daunted by hard feelings, we don't jump at chances, we don't make changes, the avoidance keeps us small. Your feelings don't need to be managed. They need to be met. That's what Jenn's work is about. That's what today's episode is about. Find her book, The Feeling Muscle [https://amzn.to/4llYk29], on Amazon or through any bookstore. And if you're ready to start building that feeling muscle yourself, the Good Moms Get Mad toolkit is a free place to start. Subscribe if you haven't, and I'll see you next episode.