Living in the Meantime with Stephen Bauman

The Only Way Out...

When a high school student finds himself caught between loyalty to a friend and the truth, a simple conversation becomes a reflection on a much larger cultural problem. In this episode, Stephen Bauman explores the temptation to avoid discomfort, the courage required to face difficult truths, and why, as Robert Frost observed, the only way out is through. Transcript:Elliot was on the horns of a dilemma. A sophomore in high school, Elliot knew that a certain classmate everyone detested had been falsely accused of stealing $150 from a teacher’s purse. This kid wasn’t the thief--Elliot saw his friend take the money. Was loyalty or truth more important? He didn’t know what to do... I happened to be the accidental, non-aligned and evidently, approachable adult to whom he could share his anxiety. I could tell he was really agitated. After a minute or two, Elliot said it would be easiest to do nothing. There was nothing that associated him with knowledge about the crime. He could stay free and clear of the problem. I let that comment hang there for a minute, knowing that as Scott Peck once wrote, “Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom; indeed, they create our courage and wisdom.” That is, of course, so long as we choose to struggle with them. Distraction, evasion and avoidance are the more normal course of action everywhere in evidence today, from the lowly sophomore to the halls of congress. I don’t think Elliot had intended to share his problem with anyone. So, I told him I was impressed with his trying to work it out. And quietly, gently, suggested that the easy way out was often the worst way out and that maybe he needed to live with his problem for a little bit. It would be uncomfortable, but I’d help him hold it. This little story came to mind this morning while catching up on the news... I think it arrived as a tweak to conscience, a reminder, that each of us has reason to recalibrate our moral compass floundering in our rotting culture. Though we didn’t exactly ask for it, we all share this problem... and honestly, we all need some help acknowledging that, as Robert Frost put it, “the only way out is through...” Get full access to Living in the Meantime at livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe [https://livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

The Values That Hold Us Together w/ Eric Gullickson

Stephen sits down with Eric Gullickson, president of Mohonk Mountain House, to explore the enduring values that have sustained the historic Hudson Valley retreat for more than 150 years. Grounded in Quaker-inspired principles of stewardship, reverence for nature, and human connection, their conversation reflects on what it means to live thoughtfully and faithfully in chaotic times—and how places of beauty and stillness can help us rediscover what truly matters. Chapters:00:00:00 – Introduction to Mohonk Mountain House 00:03:25 – The Quaker Values Behind Mohonk 00:06:43 – 156 Years of Family Stewardship 00:09:40 – A Different Kind of Family Business 00:13:16 – Preserving the Land for Future Generations 00:17:19 – Why Nature Still Matters 00:19:26 – Eric’s Personal Connection to Mohonk 00:25:52 – Growing Up with Reverence for Nature 00:32:32 – Holding Values in a Divided Culture 00:37:17 – Living in the Meantime of Chaotic Times Get full access to Living in the Meantime at livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe [https://livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Confounding Perplexity

In this reflective spring episode of Living in the Meantime, Stephen Bauman shares a story about his young son, a pair of forbidden pruning shears, and a garden cut down too soon. What begins as a memory of frustration becomes a meditation on time, discipline, love, and the mysterious way life grows back fuller than before. Through the lens of parenting, aging, and renewal, Stephen explores how patience and hope shape us across the decades—and what it means to become fully alive. Transcript: My four-year-old son loved to imitate me as I worked in the yard. He particularly liked the huge pruning shears I wielded from time to time and was frustrated by my keeping them stored well out of reach. Returning home one bright, late Spring day, I discovered a row of flowers, once two-feet tall, had been neatly clipped to a few inches of their lives on the side of the house facing the driveway. Running to the back I found that now lying among the recent trimmings were six stalks of unusual lilies I highly prized. Then quickly checking the basement I saw the not-so-carefully stacked boards and boxes leading to the forbidden, and now missing, scissors. Turning ‘round through the doorway, I beheld my son with shears outstretched, framed by the brilliant sun, like some mighty gladiator standing defiant among the defeated. I was furious. Everywhere the flowers had been decapitated. Everywhere. Not a one was left standing. But, the following spring, rather than six stalks of lilies, twelve sprang up. I took my son outside; we sat on the porch steps and taught each other something about pruning and loving and disciplining and miracles. This small memory came to mind while visiting my now 44-year-old son this past week as he showed me around the perimeter of his long-delayed first home--that honestly could have used some of his early penchant for pruning. But what accompanied that early memory while standing in his yard were emanations of the love at the heart of what it means to be a human fully alive. If we have open eyes and hearts, the passing of time is our friend in this. Pruning is a time-bound discipline, requiring patience fortified by hope. One year later, 12 stalks appear instead of six. Forty years later a man stands where a child once stood like some mighty gladiator, arms outstretched... in the meantime, life unfolds in all of its confounding perplexity. Happy spring. I hope you can let it speak to you deeply. Get full access to Living in the Meantime at livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe [https://livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

The Work of Seeing: Faith, Community, and Real Impact w/ Holly Fogle

What happens when you walk away from success to pursue something deeper? In this episode of Living in the Meantime, Stephen Bauman sits down with Holly Fogle to explore a remarkable journey—from partner at McKinsey & Company to co-founder of Nido de Esperanza, a groundbreaking program supporting mothers and babies in Washington Heights. Holly shares the moment she realized her life’s work needed to change, the disorienting loss of identity that followed, and how a deep spiritual calling led her toward a radically different vision of impact—one rooted not in solving problems, but in building community. Together, Stephen and Holly unpack what’s been lost as communal life has eroded in modern culture—and what it might look like to rebuild it. They explore the power of radical hospitality, the dignity of truly “seeing” others, and why meaningful change often begins with small, local, deeply human connections. From launching a program that stays with families for three years, to responding to crisis during COVID, to expanding into national direct-cash support through the Bridge Project, this conversation offers a compelling vision for how faith, community, and action can intersect in transformative ways. Chapters: 00:00:00 – Introduction & Holly’s Journey 00:03:00 – Leaving Success Behind & Losing Identity 00:06:00 – Faith, Calling, and the Search for Meaning 00:08:00 – The Vision: From Idea to Nido de Esperanza 00:12:00 – A New Model: Community Over Problem-Solving 00:16:00 – Challenges, Critiques, and Listening First 00:20:00 – Why Community Works (and Why People Stay) 00:23:30 – Immigration, Invisibility, and Human Dignity 00:30:00 – Expanding Impact: The Bridge Project & Systemic Change 00:36:30 – Rebuilding Community & A Call to Action Get full access to Living in the Meantime at livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe [https://livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Soul-Maxxing

An online trend called “looksmaxxing” is gaining traction among young men—but at what cost? In this episode, Stephen Bauman reflects on the rise of performative beauty culture and makes the case for something deeper: a daily commitment to “soulmaxxing,” and reclaiming what truly makes us human. Transcript:I recently learned about an emerging online community called looksmaxxing, and its emergent 20-year-old star who goes by the name, Clavicular. Looksmaxxers believe that male attractiveness is the key to worldly achievement, and every step toward increasing their beauty to be virtuous. But as the New York Times reports, it’s a certain kind of beauty, as identified by Clavicular, akin to actor Matt Bomer: lantern-jawed, symmetrical and white. That’s the ideal. Again, according to the Times, Clavicular has well over a million followers on Tik Tok and Kick, rakes in $100,000 a month and often spends 8 hours a day live streaming. This strikes me as the inevitable apotheosis of where social media has been headed for a long while...the extreme end goal of the narcissistic performative presence stripped to its barest essence, exalted as the only essential human value. Checking out a couple of interviews, what’s revealed is a sad and empty human vessel jacked up on arrogant self-regard. Its breath-taking, really, and wouldn’t require a lot of analysis except for how looksmaxxing has evidently captured the attention of many susceptible young men who’ve lost connection with meaningful human community. On the surface it’s not overtly political or ideological, but seriously devoid of any engagement with things that really matter. A hollowing out of what it means to be a human fully alive. I don’t need to go on and on with this, but Monday morning I did wind up in a conversation about it with my 30-something trainer at my local gym. Catching my breath while moving from squats to bench press, I asked Teddy if he had heard of Clavicular... He said that he had just been talking about him and the whole looksmaxxing phenomenon with a friend, who thought that what Clavicular could really use was some soulmaxxing. They had a good laugh about that, but it struck me they had landed on something important. They meant it for fun, but they nailed it perfectly. I’m thinking soulmaxxing is exactly what we could use more of these days--serious engaged commitment to honoring the higher values of our humanity. The cultural rot has seeped far and wide beyond the boundaries of its more extreme examples. We’ve all been touched and tempted by the downward tug of our lessor natures. In our current environment it takes focused attention not to succumb and then to actively choose a better way. With eyes wide open we discover these opportunities arrive every single day. A daily opportunity for soulmaxxing... Get full access to Living in the Meantime at livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe [https://livinginthemeantime.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]