Make it Inevitable

Cause and Effect: Bridging the Gap Between Blame and Acknowledgment

“WHEN WE TAKE OWNERSHIP, WE REMEMBER THAT WE HAVE A LOT OF CHOICES AND CONTROL, THOUGH THEY’RE NOT ALWAYS EASY CHOICES.” In this episode, I’m digging into the concept of cause and effect and how we bridge the gap between blame and acknowledgment to create different outcomes for ourselves. Blame is a tempting reaction to experiences that don’t feel good or results that are far from what we desired or intended, but this way of being keeps us at the mercy of everything and everyone else, never able to take full ownership of our lives to make the impossible inevitable. When we truly understand cause and effect, we’re able to gain invaluable insights and make entirely different choices, but we can’t do that when we’re getting lost in our interpretations, triggering our subconscious winning strategy and spiraling ourselves in an unproductive direction. If you struggle with blame (either towards others or yourself), this episode is for you. Grab our classic worksheet, The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question [https://chooseyourcalling.myflodesk.com/xcp6fl7oj9]. Listen to our episode on identifying your subconscious winning strategy [https://chooseyourcalling.com/your-subconscious-winning-strategy/]. Read our book, What Really Happened? [https://amzn.to/3Ap3DGD], to break free from interpretations and start making the seemingly impossible happen. Grab our actionable free workbooks on making the impossible inevitable and navigating the Terror Barrier here [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/podcast/]. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: * What is blame, and how is it detrimental? * How our childhood traumas condition us to blame * Expansive vs. contractive consequences * The stories we tell when we get “in trouble” * The nine words that will forever transform your life [https://chooseyourcalling.myflodesk.com/xcp6fl7oj9] “For everything that’s not abuse, we’re looking at the conditions that allowed this outcome to occur, these effects to be caused, these consequences to happen as a result of other things happening. We’re looking at the circumstances of the container, the situation that allowed this to come to be, and we’re trying to find our role inside of that. Not to make ourselves feel like a piece of crap, not to blame and beat ourselves up, but to take ownership.” * How we take ownership of things outside our control * The power of living from a solutions-oriented mindset * Why we must stop blaming ourselves and others * Reflecting on the cause vs. dropping into blame “It’s not blame when we acknowledge the cause and effect of things. And if we’re so afraid to acknowledge cause and effect because we think it means blaming ourselves or other people, it’s really hard for us to start to do the intellectual work of healing and making sense of our experiences and how we feel about them, and then pairing that with the processing work.” * Examples of cause and effect and its consequences in my business * Cause and effect doesn’t mean we stop feeling our feelings * Blame takes away our ability to heal * Questions to ask yourself to integrate this work The post Cause and Effect: Bridging the Gap Between Blame and Acknowledgment [https://chooseyourcalling.com/cause-and-effect-blame-and-acknowledgment/] appeared first on Choose Your Calling [https://chooseyourcalling.com].

Cultivating Inner Mentors When No One Understands or Can Help You

“WHEN WE’RE WORKING TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, WE’RE GOING TO BUMP INTO PEOPLE WHO CANNOT THINK OUTSIDE THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES AND WHAT THEY KNOW TO BE POSSIBLE OR WITHIN REACH.” In this episode, I’m diving into a topic that has been prominent throughout my life: cultivating inner mentors when no one can help or understand us and what we’re trying to do. This is a biggie for anyone working to make the impossible inevitable in their world because you’re going to bump into people’s doubts, fears, and limiting beliefs, or you’re going to struggle to find people who understand the vision and what needs to happen to make it a reality. Inner mentors show up in various ways—God, Source, intuition, muses, or energetic entities tied to what we’re working to create. Learning to work with these alongside external mentors will transform how you bring your ideas and goals to fruition and help you stay in motion. Learn to work with your inner mentors in our Journey Mapping™ [https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png] [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/journeymapping] program. FREE: Reconnecting with Your Intuition Self-Coaching Guide [https://subscribepage.io/ReconnectWithYourIntuition] (normally $4.99!) Listen to our Do the Impossible AcuSesh™ [https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png] Album [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/product/do-the-impossible-acusesh-album/] to move through common blocks with seemingly impossible goals. Grab our actionable free workbooks on making the impossible inevitable and navigating the Terror Barrier here [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/podcast/]. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: * Examples from my own life of when no one understood me * Navigating different levels of awareness when talking to others * Discernment is essential in making the impossible happen * What are inner mentors, and how do we work with them? * How we call on mentors in process work “These mentors inside process work represent aspects of self or source or life that we can’t otherwise seem to connect with. And whether that’s tapping into their actual energy or tapping into a part of us, it really doesn’t matter. It’s really irrelevant because you’re tapping into something outside of your conscious mind or what you feel and believe you have access to so that you can go deeper and do different, richer, more impactful work for yourself.” * Whatever you believe it comes from, work with it directly * There are often times the people around us can’t help * Working with inner mentors in Journey Mapping [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/journeymapping] ™ [https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png] * Sometimes, we work with inner mentors to find external mentors “When working to do the impossible, we’re going to bump into people who cannot think outside their own experiences and what they know to be possible or within reach. We’re going to bump into people who are like, ‘I don’t think that you can or should do that.’ We’re going to have people who try to support us but can’t understand the vision or help with what we’re trying to do. And when that happens, we have to be willing to do both parts of the work: seek out new places and spaces, containers, mentors, support people, education resources externally while leaning on the internal.” * The internal aspect should always be a part of the work * Sometimes, the most experienced people cause the most harm * We have to trust ourselves to know what’s right and best * Questions to ask yourself about this The post Cultivating Inner Mentors When No One Understands or Can Help You [https://chooseyourcalling.com/cultivating-inner-mentors-when-no-one-can-help-you/] appeared first on Choose Your Calling [https://chooseyourcalling.com].

Coping with the Impossibility of Grief and Incomprehensible Loss

“WHAT FEELS SO IMPOSSIBLE TO US IS THAT WE CAN’T COMPREHEND THE LOSS.” In this episode, I’m digging into the impossibility of grief and how we navigate incomprehensible loss (as in, difficult to understand or make sense of). Everyone experiences grief and loss in this life, but not everyone has yet to experience the big losses that shift the ground beneath our feet and completely reconfigure who we are and how we relate to the world around us. These are the losses we’re addressing in this conversation, along with how we do what feels absolutely impossible in the presence of such massive emotions: surrender and allow ourselves to be unraveled by them. Even the most brilliant minds will be utterly overwhelmed by the prospect of letting go and succumbing to the impossibility of grief because it feels like you’ll just—poof!—cease to exist if you do. If you’re navigating loss and grief, this episode is for you. Access our potent Journey Mapping™ [https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png] program [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/journeymapping/] to get support with navigating the aftermath of grief and loss. Read my memoir, Unravel: Rising Up and Coming Back from a Season That Damn Near Killed Me [https://theunravelbook.com/], to hear my story of healing from loss. Grab a copy of our book, Awesome Life Tips®: 365 Tips for The Dark Night of the Soul [https://amzn.to/37r5ufS], for daily support with challenging chapters. Listen to the Tales from the Journey Podcast™ [https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png] [https://talesfromthejourney.tv/] to hear other stories of rising up and coming back from big losses. Grab our actionable free workbooks on making the impossible inevitable and navigating the Terror Barrier here [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/podcast/]. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: * My story [https://theunravelbook.com/] of experiencing incomprehensible and traumatic loss * Why our bodies buckle under the weight of impossible grief * The impossibility of making sense of some losses * My instinct to go into the emotions rather than try to bypass them [https://chooseyourcalling.com/working-with-our-emotions/] * Big emotions, like grief, will always give way to some sense of calm “The amount of time that I spent on my kitchen floor or my apartment floor just sobbing and screaming and nearly hyperventilating. And every single time I did this, there would always come a moment where it passed. I would not find peace, happiness, or contentment, but I would reach a calm state. All of that wave would have moved through me and out, and I would stop, and I would be able to breathe again.” * Anger is a part of grief, and often at an irrational level * Some personalities are more “feely,” which brings more ease * Processing our grief in real-time keeps it from getting stored * The power of surrendering to our raw emotions [https://chooseyourcalling.com/settle-into-surrender/] “This is what feels so impossible to us because we cannot comprehend or understand the loss. It does not make sense to us. Even if we can intellectually understand what happened, our body has to go through its process, which is confusing and hard. But you will find the endpoint if you feel your contractive emotions all the way through, productively and without story or interpretation. And at that endpoint, there might be peace. There will definitely be a sense of calm. You will feel tired and worn out by what you just went through, but you have moved it out of your body. You have begun to heal.” * We’re never really free from big griefs like these * Time doesn’t heal all wounds; intention does [https://chooseyourcalling.com/the-art-of-letting-go/] * Continuing to grow with and alongside your grief The post Coping with the Impossibility of Grief and Incomprehensible Loss [https://chooseyourcalling.com/coping-with-the-impossibility-of-grief-and-loss/] appeared first on Choose Your Calling [https://chooseyourcalling.com].

The Somatics of Trust and Living From Abundance Rather Than Scarcity

“WHEN WE OPERATE FROM THAT FREQUENCY OF TRUST, WE’RE BETTER ABLE TO SEE PATHWAYS AND POSSIBILITIES.” In this episode, we’re having our third conversation in the “Somatics Of” series about the somatics of trust and living from abundance vs. scarcity. This is not a “magical thinking” conversation or one rooted in bypassing and toxic positivity; it’s a conversation about how to name a lack of resources or actual scarcity without falling prey to fear, worry, and doubt. We don’t bypass the reality of our situations or circumstances! Instead, we learn to stay anchored in energetic frequencies that help us stay in the embodied states necessary to create new and different outcomes, aligning ourselves with new pathways and possibilities and keeping us open and receptive to them. Trust is a critical energetic, and the somatics allows us to hold that state of trust regardless of the challenges we may be navigating. Listen to our episode on learning to let life support you with the four critical types of trust [https://chooseyourcalling.com/let-life-support-you/]. Listen to our episode on the power of intention and using words differently [https://chooseyourcalling.com/using-words-differently-how-intention-influences-our-experiences/]. Work through our Have Your Own Back AcuSesh™ [https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png] Album [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/product/have-your-own-back-acusesh-album/] to build trust in yourself, overcome self-doubt, raise your sense of worth, and have faith in your ability to bring your visions to life. Grab our actionable free workbooks on making the impossible inevitable and navigating the Terror Barrier here [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/podcast/]. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: * Learning to let life support you with the four types of trust [https://chooseyourcalling.com/let-life-support-you/] * The process of becoming magnetic without bypassing reality * How to find trust states to use as a point of reference * Way of being work isn’t “fake it til you make it” * Acting from desperation pushes away what we want “Trust is an energetic state. It is a frequency. And when we vibrate from a space of trust, we align with different people and things. We work with the energy of life, with the energy of our universe. The universe’s baseline state supports our expansion and continuous growth. So, to tap into that energy, we must come from a state of trust. That doesn’t mean we’re unaware of our surroundings or don’t think about how to stay safe and secure in certain situations.” * Questions to ask yourself to discern what and who is trustworthy * When you come from trust as your baseline, there’s openness to you * Contractive states can weigh our energy and being down * Lack and scarcity aren’t inherently negative when they’re held factually * Processing past experiences so they don’t hinder us * Acknowledging present circumstances and feeling how we feel “We acknowledge our circumstances. We feel how we feel, the raw emotion and energy. We do not interpret or tell stories. And the somatics work comes into play with trust, tapping into the energetic state of feeling abundant and having trust and faith. That doesn’t mean everything magically changes because we think that way because we tap into that energetic state and operate from that frequency. But when we operate from that frequency, we can see pathways and possibilities better. We can better navigate our present circumstances from a grounded, clear space plugged into who we need to be to have what we desire.” * Finding abundance energetics in small things * This work isn’t about ignoring the reality of our situations, ever * How to put this into practice in your own life The post The Somatics of Trust and Living From Abundance Rather Than Scarcity [https://chooseyourcalling.com/the-somatics-of-trust-and-living-from-abundance/] appeared first on Choose Your Calling [https://chooseyourcalling.com].

The Somatics of Confidence and Learning to Take Up More Space

“CONFIDENCE ISN’T A WALL. IT’S NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT LOOK AT YOURSELF, NOT BE OPEN TO AND RECEPTIVE TO FEEDBACK.” In this episode, we’re diving into the second part of our “Somatics Of” series with the somatics of confidence and how to take up more space. Confidence is a critical aspect of making the impossible happen because it requires certainty and steadiness in ourselves as we bump into other people’s beliefs, systemic obstacles, and different emotions or trauma triggers. The truth is, confidence is a relatively straightforward energetic, but it can easily be confused with “false confidence” when it comes from the mind or ego. To embody true confidence, we have to source it from within in very specific ways, which we cover in this conversation. Get instant access to our Actualize™ [https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png] program [https://stepheniezamora.com/actualize] to come into deeper alignment with your truth and purpose. Grab a copy of our book, Cultivating Confidence: Live Life Fully Expressed [https://amzn.to/3GRaawa], to develop more steadiness in yourself. Learn more and grab our free workbooks for making the impossible inevitable and navigating the Terror Barrier here [https://www.stepheniezamora.com/podcast/]. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: * The random work experience that taught me true confidence * We don’t get true confidence by having things or titles * Confidence is about ‘owning it’ and being immovable in that * Examples of ‘false confidence’ and how we fall into it * Deconditioning from who we think we need to be [https://chooseyourcalling.com/deconditioning-ourselves-from-who-were-told-to-be/] * How our subconscious winning strategies [https://chooseyourcalling.com/your-subconscious-winning-strategy/] tie into confidence “I was being what everyone else wanted and needed me to be. And when I could ‘win’ through my winning strategy, I felt a false sense of confidence. I felt like, okay, I’m awesome, lovable, worthy. But if any of those things changed or any way I wanted to be, any way my purpose called me to be, did not fit with what other people wanted from me, I did not feel confident. And I was looking externally for validation that I was okay, I was good enough, I was right, and therefore could feel confident.” * Feeling a lack of confidence in the face of “experts” * Confidence can’t depend on what other people think * If we have doubt in ourselves, it will undermine us * Tapping into confidence through simple life moments * Understanding the somatics of confidence * Confidence doesn’t mean we’re not receptive “Confidence isn’t a wall. It’s not an excuse to not look at yourself, not be open to and receptive to feedback. There are many times that I’ve been confident, and somebody opens my eyes to a new way of looking, thinking, being, doing. And that doesn’t mean that I’m not immovable in my confidence; it means that I’m steady and immovable in my confidence while staying open and receptive.” * Life is about continuous growth and evolution * Finding examples of being immovable but receptive * What contraction tells us about our confidence * Tapping into a somatic state of steadiness * Coming into alignment with your truth and purpose [https://stepheniezamora.com/actualize] The post The Somatics of Confidence and Learning to Take Up More Space [https://chooseyourcalling.com/the-somatics-of-confidence/] appeared first on Choose Your Calling [https://chooseyourcalling.com].