Mind Your P's and Q's

Ep. 83 - Why “Fair” Beats “Victory” Every Time

When your marriage is ending, your gut says “I want to win.” But here’s the truth: chasing victory in family court will cost you tens of thousands of dollars, years of your life, and your kids’ peace of mind—all to get roughly the same outcome you could’ve reached in mediation. In this episode, I’m breaking down why “fair” isn’t about being nice to your ex—it’s about saving your money, your sanity, and your future. Fair doesn’t feel as good as winning, but it’s the only thing that actually works. -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ [https://mymm.substack.com/] Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com [http://www.modernlegalsolutions.com/] Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions [https://www.instagram.com/modernlegalsolutions/] Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ [http://www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/] LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation [http://www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation] -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” [https://pixabay.com/music/corporate-motivational-day-112790/] by AudioCoffee [https://pixabay.com/users/audiocoffee-27005420/], available under the Pixabay License [http://pixabay.com/service/terms/] Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com [https://mymm.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Ep. 82 - The Cost of Being Right

When you’ve been wronged, you want vindication—you want someone to declare you were right and they were wrong. But being right in family law is expensive as hell: it costs you tens of thousands of dollars, years of your life, damage to your kids and your co-parenting relationship, and your ability to move forward. In this episode, I’m breaking down what “being right” behavior actually looks like (relitigating the past, fighting on principle, proving who’s the better parent), what it really costs in money and sanity, and when standing your ground actually matters versus when you’re just setting money on fire to feed your ego -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ [https://mymm.substack.com/] Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com [http://www.modernlegalsolutions.com/] Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions [https://www.instagram.com/modernlegalsolutions/] Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ [http://www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/] LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation [http://www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation] -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” [https://pixabay.com/music/corporate-motivational-day-112790/] by AudioCoffee [https://pixabay.com/users/audiocoffee-27005420/], available under the Pixabay License [http://pixabay.com/service/terms/] Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com [https://mymm.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Ep. 81 - Mediation Requires Equal Participation

In the last episode, we talked about why you’re not a “we” anymore—today, we’re building on that with a hard truth: mediation requires equal participation from both people, and if one person won’t engage, mediation fails. I’m breaking down what equal participation actually means, the red flags that tell me someone’s not really committed (no-shows, incomplete homework, one person dragging a resistant partner along), and why I won’t chase you or let one person carry the entire process. This isn’t me being harsh—this is just how mediation works, and I’d rather be honest upfront than take your money knowing it won’t succeed. -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ [https://mymm.substack.com/] Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com [http://www.modernlegalsolutions.com/] Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions [https://www.instagram.com/modernlegalsolutions/] Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ [http://www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/] LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation [http://www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation] -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” [https://pixabay.com/music/corporate-motivational-day-112790/] by AudioCoffee [https://pixabay.com/users/audiocoffee-27005420/], available under the Pixabay License [http://pixabay.com/service/terms/] Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com [https://mymm.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Ep. 80 - You're Not a “We” Anymore

When couples come to me for mediation, I hear a lot of “we” language: “We want to do this amicably,” “We’ve already decided,” “We’re on the same page.” But here’s the hard truth—if you’re getting divorced, you’re not a “we” anymore. You’re two separate people with separate interests, and pretending otherwise doesn’t make mediation easier, it makes it impossible. In this episode, I’m breaking down why letting go of “we” is one of the hardest but most essential shifts you need to make, what “we” behavior actually looks like (and why it’s a red flag), and why mediation can only work when both people can advocate for themselves as individuals. -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ [https://mymm.substack.com/] Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com [http://www.modernlegalsolutions.com/] Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions [https://www.instagram.com/modernlegalsolutions/] Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ [http://www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/] LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation [http://www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation] -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” [https://pixabay.com/music/corporate-motivational-day-112790/] by AudioCoffee [https://pixabay.com/users/audiocoffee-27005420/], available under the Pixabay License [http://pixabay.com/service/terms/] Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com [https://mymm.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Ep. 79 - Co-Parenting After DV

Co-parenting with someone who was abusive to you requires different strategies than typical co-parenting. In this episode, I break down practical communication strategies, how to choose the right communication medium, what messages to respond to versus ignore, and how to set and enforce boundaries around timing and access. I also cover red flags that co-parenting may not be safe and what alternative options you have. You’ll leave with concrete tools to communicate only what’s necessary while protecting your mental health and safety. -- Previous Episodes Mentioned Ep. 21 - Parenting Plans in Cases Involving Domestic Violence - https://mymm.substack.com/p/ep-21-parenting-plans-in-cases-involving-e1a [https://mymm.substack.com/p/ep-21-parenting-plans-in-cases-involving-e1a] Ep. 42 - Parallel Parenting - https://mymm.substack.com/p/ep-42-parallel-parenting [https://mymm.substack.com/p/ep-42-parallel-parenting] -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ [https://mymm.substack.com/] Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com [http://www.modernlegalsolutions.com/] Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions [https://www.instagram.com/modernlegalsolutions/] Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ [http://www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/] LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation [http://www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation] -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” [https://pixabay.com/music/corporate-motivational-day-112790/] by AudioCoffee [https://pixabay.com/users/audiocoffee-27005420/], available under the Pixabay License [http://pixabay.com/service/terms/] Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com [https://mymm.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]