Peeling the Onion

The only thing holding you back is you

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on the phrase: “the only thing holding you back is you” and how it's actually a form of blame. It takes a complex interaction of relationships, systems, privilege, opportunity, timing, and effort, and reduces it to a single cause, the individual. They talk about: 1. Victim blaming 2. Dynamics and projection 3. Cognitive bias 4. Blame and responsibility 5. Elemental Smugness Here are the highlights of this episode: 1:27 The amygdala gets hijacked. 1:46 This phrase appeals to personal agency 2:21 You are the only one responsible for anything happening in your life 2:30 There are so many variables to take into account 3:32 It takes away any critical analysis 3:38 We don’t all have the same 24 hours in the day 7:45 People can not just forget about their personal circumstances 8:15 Dynamic and projection 9:28 Positions of power and higher status 10:43 Elemental Smugness 11:53 You and only you is the one to blame 12:28 Cognitive bias 13:13 People are doing their best with what they have

Fake it until you make it

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on the phrase; “ fake it until you make it” and how it went from bringing courage in moments of self-doubt to becoming an unethical way to succeed in professions and life. They also talk about the implications of faking your emotions and pains which will then translate into burnout and poor mental health They talk about: 1. Professionalism and ethics 2. The two sides of the phrase “ fake it until you make it” 3. How social media and some industries praise fakeness 4. Reputation as a professional in any area 5. Self abandonment 6. False sense of success Here are the highlights of this episode: 1:03 You don’t want a brain surgeon to fake it.. 1:48 How serious and real are you being? 2:09 There are two sides of the coin 2:54 You don't want professionals to fake it but it’s also motivational 3:44 Where is the responsibility in this? 3:58 The false sense of grandiosity. 4:41 Is it ethical? 5:40 Don’t confuse ‘fake it until you make it’ with lack of knowledge,and professionalism 7:49 The industry encourages you to fake it to then sell you -get over your impostor syndrome course. 8:03 Safety is a key aspect 8:21 When we fake it… who are we putting first? Ourselves 8:53 Why is it ok for some professions to fake it but not for others? 9:46 Social media can confuse people with all these phrases. 10:52 Are you putting out a version of yourself that isn’t quite true? 11:13 Is all about reputation 11:39 The entrepreneurial industry has become a rat race that encourages people to fake it until they make it. 12:32 Faking it may also mean you need to dismiss your emotions 14:05 Self abandonment 14:47 Social media will wrongly rewire your thoughts 16:16 Staying in your comfort zone because faking it is actually working

You're never given more than you can handle

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones deconstruct the popular phrase "you're never given more than you can handle". They argue it's harmful, dismissive, and isolating. The duo also agrees it invalidates real pain, suppresses emotions, promotes solo resilience over relational support and discourages help-seeking, especially for women and across cultures. They talk about: 1. Resilience is not a one-size-fits-all tool. 2. Societal pressure to "keep up" alone; reinforces failure narrative and isolation. 3. Suppressing feelings, invalidates pain (burnout, trauma, grief, chronic illness). 4. British culture expects people to get on with it and in Latin American to accept God’s will 5. Lack of connection 6. Empathetic response options Here are the highlights of this episode: 00:59 Life is not evenly distributed. How can we put everyone in the same group and say... you are never given more than you can handle?" 01:31 If you're having a hard time... the implication is you should be able to handle it on your own. 03:40 It isolates people instead of encouraging them to find the support they need. 04:32 It encourages emotional suppression. 07:00 Do you have to endure the difficult situation no matter what? 07:55 Not looking for help top not look weak. 08:27 Stiff upper lip 09:27 It dismisses real pain 10:20 This phrase is anti relational 10:44 This is hard, how can I support you? 11:54 We thrive, heal and grow when we connect with others 13:34 I am not valuable, I am not important enough 14: 39 No pressure, take your time to process. You don’t have to handle it all on your own 15:09 Struggle doesn't mean failure, it means something needs attention

Feel the fear and do it anyway

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Fear as a primal instinct, was used for survival, nowadays it is used to name any emotion that brings discomfort and it should not be misused as it can be dangerous and reckless to use it lightly. They talk about: 1. Fear as a primitive emotion 2. The difference between fear, discomfort, anxiety, vulnerability 3. Putting fear in the same box as other emotions may not allow personal growth 4. Learn to describe what you are feeling with different words. Here are the highlights of this episode: 01:05 Fear as the most primitive emotion, evolved for survival. 02:53 Fear is there to tell you there is danger ahead. 03:32 But is it actually fear or is it something else? 04:36 We can't make an informed choice about what we do because we're just blindly leaping in and doing it anyway. 05:07 Putting everything in the same box does not allow us to perceive danger or maybe grow. 06:03 Learn to describe what you are feeling to know what to do next. 07:18 Standing on a cliff and jumping without assessing risks? 09:15 People need to name the emotion and the feelings for what they are. 12:50 Name the emotion or the feeling using different words (expand your vocabulary) 14:49 The internal narrative may tell us to do something we shouldn't 15:23 Try not to confuse the emotions 16:40 Take your time to pause, to reflect, and to feel your emotions.

Finding your purpose

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on “purpose” : find your purpose, live your purpose. By definition purpose is the reason for which something or someone exists, is done or is created. But purpose can also be as simple or as meaningful as you’d like. They talk about: 1. Meaning of purpose by definition 2. Who are you if you have no purpose? 3. Purpose can and may be dynamic and change overtime 4. Purpose can be as simple or and meaningful as you’d like 5. Being ok with who you are and not necessarily trying to save others Here are the highlights of this episode: 1:02 Meaning of purpose by definition 1:38 My purpose is to be ok with my decisions and the things that I do. 2:09 Not everything needs to make everyone happy all the time 2:38 Finding purpose could create an awful lot of pressure on some 3:05 Who am I If I don’t know what my purpose is? 4:03 Doing purposeful things to please others and feel accomplished 5:56 Does not need to be meaningful to other people nor huge 6:03 Finding purpose and validation 7:10 Purpose now can be different from what it was 10 years ago, 7:41 Purpose is dynamic 8:50 Maybe you don’t need to find your purpose right now 9:56 I am better because I have a purpose and you don’t? 10:52 Is it mandatory to have a purpose in life to be successful? 11:40 Purpose does not have to be grandiose 13:51 Purpose could be seen as aims or goals for different stages in your life