Starting Over at 50

009: Your Thoughts Become Things. Conor Delaney on Breaking Generational Curses

PODCAST SHOW NOTES: SHOWING UP FOR THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER MOST WITH CONOR DELANEY EPISODE OVERVIEW CONOR DELANEY IS THE FOUNDER AND CEO OF GOOD LIFE COMPANIES BASED IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA. HE LEADS A TEAM OF NEARLY 200 FINANCIAL ADVISORS ACROSS THE COUNTRY. FATHER OF FIVE. AND ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO MAKES YOU WANT TO BE BETTER JUST BY LISTENING TO HIM. WE GET INTO HOW YOUR THOUGHTS SHAPE YOUR REALITY. HOW TO BREAK CYCLES THAT HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS. HOW TO STAY PRESENT WITH YOUR KIDS WHEN LIFE IS PULLING YOU EVERYWHERE. AND WHAT IT MEANS TO SHOW UP FOR THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER MOST. KEY TOPICS DISCUSSED THE ANNUAL MARRIAGE RETREAT CONOR AND HIS WIFE LIZ HAVE DONE THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS. THREE DAYS OF FOCUSED TIME WITH NO DISTRACTIONS.  DEPOSITS AND WITHDRAWALS LIFE IS A SERIES OF DEPOSITS AND WITHDRAWALS. EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS TOO. THE GOAL: GIVE MORE THAN YOU TAKE OUT. WHEN YOU COME HOME, PUSH PAST THE KIDS AND HUG YOUR WIFE FIRST. LET THEM SEE THAT MOM AND DAD ARE GOOD. THE POWER OF THE TONGUE CONOR'S DAD PASSED AWAY AT 52. HE WAS A GREAT MAN BUT SPOKE NEGATIVELY OVER HIS OWN LIFE FOR YEARS. CONOR BELIEVES THOSE WORDS SHAPED HIS OUTCOME. THE LESSON: WHAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH BECOMES YOUR REALITY. TURNING CURSES INTO BLESSINGS ONE OF HIS DAUGHTERS SAID DIVORCE "RUNS IN THE FAMILY." HIS RESPONSE: THAT'S NOT WHO YOU ARE. BE SPECIFIC ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE SPEAKING OVER YOUR KIDS' LIVES. SEVEN MARATHONS, SEVEN CONTINENTS, SEVEN DAYS CONOR BROKE HIS LEG TWO DAYS BEFORE LEAVING FOR AFRICA. ANTARCTICA WAS NEGATIVE 30 DEGREES WITH 50 MPH WINDS. IN MIAMI, THE LIGAMENT TORE COMPLETELY AT MILE THREE. HIS DAUGHTER BLAKE RAN A LAP WITH HIM AT MILE 17. SHE SAID "DAD, I CAN'T HEAR YOU BE IN PAIN ANYMORE." HIS RESPONSE: "WE DON'T QUIT. THAT'S OUR NEW DNA." ALL FIVE KIDS WERE WAITING AT THE FINISH LINE. BUILDING THE COMPOUND CONOR IS BUYING HOUSES AROUND HIS PROPERTY SO HIS KIDS CAN LIVE NEARBY WHEN THEY'RE GROWN. "THE CHAOS OF THE WORLD CAN BE OVER THERE. AS LONG AS I'M ALIVE, THEY'LL KNOW THERE'S PROTECTION." MEMORABLE QUOTES "LIFE IS A SERIES OF DEPOSITS AND WITHDRAWALS. YOU HOPE THAT IN THOSE RELATIONSHIPS, YOU CAN SAY I'VE GIVEN MORE THAN I'VE TAKEN OUT." "YOUR THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS. THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL, BECOME YOUR REALITY." "TO GET THROUGH THE PAIN, YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH. SO MANY PEOPLE QUIT RIGHT ON THE DOORSTEP OF THE BREAKTHROUGH." Key Takeaways 1. MAKE YOUR SPOUSE THE NUMBER ONE CLIENT. WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR YOUR BEST CLIENT? DO THAT FOR THEM. 2. YOUR WORDS SHAPE YOUR FUTURE. SPEAK LIFE OVER YOURSELF AND YOUR KIDS. 3. SHOW YOUR KIDS THAT MOM AND DAD ARE GOOD. LET THEM SEE IT. 4. DON'T QUIT ON THE DOORSTEP OF THE BREAKTHROUGH. THE PAIN IS PART OF IT. 5. BUILD FOR GENERATIONS. THINK ABOUT WHERE YOUR KIDS WILL LIVE AND WHAT LEGACY YOU'RE LEAVING. WEBSITE: HTTPS://WWW.GOODLIFECO.COM/ ABOUT THE GUEST CONOR DELANEY IS THE FOUNDER AND CEO OF GOOD LIFE COMPANIES BASED IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA. HE LEADS NEARLY 200 FINANCIAL ADVISORS NATIONWIDE. HE STARTED AS A FINANCIAL ADVISOR AT 19 AND WAS THE TOP ADVISOR AMONG MORE THAN A THOUSAND BY 26. HE LOST HIS FATHER A WEEK AFTER GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL. HE'S BEEN WITH HIS WIFE LIZ SINCE THEY WERE TEENAGERS. FIVE KIDS. RECENTLY COMPLETED SEVEN MARATHONS ON SEVEN CONTINENTS IN SEVEN DAYS—THE LAST 26 MILES ON A BROKEN LEG WITH HIS DAUGHTER BY HIS SIDE. Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube  Connect: gabe@moreclientsmorefun.com

008: Plan A Is Gone. Now What? Jonmark Richardson on Starting Over

Show Notes Jonmark Richardson is a financial advisor in Phoenix, Arizona. He's got a story. At 19, his life was headed in one direction. He knew exactly what he wanted. And then in a split second, everything changed. What he went through and what he watched his mom go through with money shaped how he helps people plan for their financial lives. Not for when things go right. For when plan A goes out the window. Key Topics The Accident That Changed Everything At 19, Jonmark was about to go pro in motocross. It was all he thought about, dreamt about, and doodled about in school since he was five years old. A hesitation on a jump left him two and a half stories in the air without enough momentum. He shattered his spine and was instantly paralyzed. He spent the next six months in the hospital, conscious through the whole thing. Getting Through Day by Day First it was getting through a day, then a week, then a month. "If I could do a year, I could do two. If I could do two, I could do 20." He never had a single day in the hospital without a visitor. That support system made all the difference. What His Mom Taught Him About Money She truly believed she was doomed to fail before she even tried. One of her favorite sayings was "I'm always an hour late and a dollar short." She fell behind on property taxes for a decade, lost her home, and walked away with $8,000. It shaped how Jonmark thinks about planning for the unexpected. Life Is Rarely About Plan A Financial planning is really life planning. Things rarely go the way we expect. You need contingencies for plan B, C, and D. We're human. We were built to start again. "The moment you stop trying, you stop living." You Are Worth Saving For You can't be a living martyr and be the best parent for your kids. You have to take care of yourself first. Your kids won't remember the money or the trips. They'll remember if you were happy. Jonmark sees wealthy clients all the time with blank expressions. They have everything they thought mattered, but something's missing. Emergency Fund as Peace If your fridge goes out and you have savings, you're not panicking like his mom would have. That's where peace starts. And if you can't cut back any further, it's an earning problem. Find a side gig, earn it, and save it. Gratitude and Journaling "You are never happier than you are grateful." Jonmark started journaling when his wife got pregnant. He writes on Sundays, reflecting on the week, and plans to hand it to his son later in life. Memorable Quotes "You are never happier than you are grateful. Gratitude is where you start." "You can't be a living martyr and be the best dad for your kids. You have to take care of you." "It's never too late to be the person you intended to be." "Money is the lubrication in the frictions of life. But it's not a substitute for love and happiness." Key Takeaways 1. GET OUT OF YESTERDAY. DON'T LET YOUR PAST EAT YOUR FUTURE. 2. YOU ARE WORTH SAVING FOR. COMMIT TO THAT FIRST. 3. START WITH EMERGENCY SAVINGS. THAT'S WHERE PEACE COMES FROM. 4. IF YOU CAN'T CUT MORE, EARN MORE. SIDE INCOME DEDICATED TO SAVINGS CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING. 5. YOUR KIDS WILL REMEMBER YOUR HAPPINESS, NOT THE MONEY. ABOUT THE GUEST JONMARK RICHARDSON IS THE SENIOR ADVISOR AT THE VALHALLA GROUP IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA. HE HAS BEEN IN THE FINANCIAL INDUSTRY FOR OVER 16 YEARS, HELPING CLIENTS WITH RETIREMENT PLANNING, TAX STRATEGY, AND SOCIAL SECURITY DECISIONS. HIS APPROACH IS SHAPED BY REBUILDING HIS LIFE AFTER A PARALYZING ACCIDENT AT 19 AND WATCHING HIS MOTHER STRUGGLE WITH MONEY. Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube  Connect: gabe@moreclientsmorefun.com

007: Survive and Advance: Brandon Hayes on Getting Through Divorce One Day at a Time

PODCAST SHOW NOTES: SURVIVING DIVORCE TOGETHER WITH BRANDON Episode Overview Host Gabe McManus sits down with Brandon, a certified financial planner who went through his own divorce at 50 with four kids. This one's different. It's two dads who've walked the same road, comparing notes on guilt, grief, and finding their footing again. Brandon shares the mantra that got him through and why hiding his emotions from his kids is his biggest regret. Key Topics Discussed The Day Everything Changed * That kitchen table conversation you dread and can't sugarcoat * Brandon's four kids were 9, 7, 7, and 5 when it happened * The overwhelming fear of doing it alone * Thanking God all the way home after getting the kids on the school bus What Nobody Tells You * The weight loss, the depression, the year it took to let go * Why Brandon regrets hiding his emotions from his kids * "They didn't get to see me vulnerable. I wish they had." * Kids mimic what they see. Stiff upper lip isn't always the lesson you want to teach. The Guilt Trap * Wanting to say yes to everything so the kids don't miss out * "We all need just a yes right now. We'll untangle it later." * Drawing the line: each kid gets one activity * The $700 Lego Titanic story Survive and Advance * Brandon's March Madness mantra for getting through * "Let's not worry about growing. Let's just survive this season." * If you're putting away 10% for retirement during this phase, you're winning * There will be time to build later A New Kind of Normal * The empty chair at the dinner table and why he bought new furniture * Creating routines and consistency as a single parent * "It's not ever going to be normal. But there's a new normal that's also satisfying." What Suffering Teaches You * Romans on suffering, perseverance, character, and hope * Kids showing compassion because of what they've been through * "You had a great life before. You had a great life during. You'll have a great life after." Dating After Divorce * Each child launches their own relationship rocket on their own terms * "This is not your mom. This will never be your mom." * Giving kids space to feel what they feel Memorable Quotes "I would just thank God all the way home. I did it. That sounds so stupid, so small. But when you're doing it by yourself, the self-doubt is huge." "We're mourning the loss of the childhood we thought they would have. They're just happy to have us still in their lives." "Survive and advance. One day at a time. I had that taped to my mirror." "You had a great life before him. You had a great life with him. You're going to have a great life after him." "If you're putting 10% away during this phase, you're winning. There'll be time to do 20% later." Key Takeaways 1. Give yourself grace. This is about surviving, not thriving. Growth comes later. 2. Let your kids see you struggle. Hiding emotion teaches them to hide theirs. 3. Don't let divorce taint the good memories. Your kids need to hear you celebrate what was. About the Guest Brandon is a certified financial planner with 25 years of experience who went through his own divorce at 50 with four children. He brings both professional expertise and personal experience to the conversation. https://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/brandon.l.hayes/ [https://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/brandon.l.hayes/] Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube  Connect: gabe@moreclientsmorefun.com

006: I Want to Make Memories. I Can't Afford Them. Ira Work Proves Me Wrong

EPISODE TITLE "I Want to Make Memories. I Can't Afford Them. Ira Work Proves Me Wrong" PODCAST SHOW NOTES: MAKING MEMORIES WHEN MONEY IS TIGHT WITH IRA WORK Episode Overview Host Gabe McManus sits down with financial advisor Ira Work for a conversation that goes way beyond numbers. Ira, who went through his own divorce at 48, starts by asking the question nobody else has: how are you doing emotionally? From there, they dig into guilt spending, impossible college expectations, and how to make memories with your kids without wrecking your future. Key Topics Discussed The Question Nobody Asks * Why "how are you doing emotionally" should come first * Ira's divorce at 48 and not realizing he was in depression * Finding out who you are after decades as a couple Memories Over Stuff * "I'd rather make memories than have stuff" * The danger of guilt spending after divorce * Creative travel hacks: Airbnbs, cooking together, walking tours * The Shutterfly book idea to preserve trips forever The College Conversation * Three ways to pay: scholarships, work part-time, or student loans * Why you never tell your kids there's money saved for them * Having the transparent talk about what you can actually afford * Why school name matters far less than ambition Setting Boundaries with Your Kids * Ira's daughter said college was his responsibility because she "didn't choose to be born" * His response: "My legal responsibility ended when you turned 18" * Boundaries create freedom for everyone * Coming from a position of strength instead of obligation Emergency Fund Before Retirement * Three to six months of expenses in liquid savings * Why raiding retirement for emergencies costs you a penalty and your future * "If you have an emergency fund, you'll never have an emergency" Memorable Quotes "The first question I would ask you is, how are you doing emotionally? Because that's really the most important." "I'd rather make memories than have stuff. Take me away for a week and don't buy me a diamond necklace." "My legal responsibility ended for you financially the day you turned 18. Anything I do for you now is out of the love in my heart." "If you have an emergency fund, you'll never have an emergency." Key Takeaways 1. Check in on yourself first. Divorce can put you in depression without realizing it. 2. Stop guilt spending. Trying to be the hero digs a deeper hole. 3. Have the transparent conversation. Tell your kids what you can actually afford. 4. Emergency fund before retirement. Three to six months, highly liquid. 5. Ambition beats school name. First job comes from college. Every job after comes from performance. About the Guest Ira Work is a financial advisor with over 41 years in the business who brings personal experience to the conversation, having gone through his own divorce at 48.  Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube  Connect: gabe@moreclientsmorefun.com

005: Your Plan Got Derailed. Now What? Ron Phelps on Financial Recovery After Divorce

PODCAST SHOW NOTES: FINANCIAL RECOVERY AFTER DIVORCE WITH RON PHELPS EPISODE OVERVIEW HOST GABE MCMANUS SITS DOWN WITH FINANCIAL ADVISOR RON PHELPS TO TACKLE THE OVERWHELMING REALITY OF STARTING OVER FINANCIALLY AFTER DIVORCE. RON WALKS GABE THROUGH THE EXACT STEPS TO STOP LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK, WHY A SIMPLE WILL COULD LEAVE HIS KIDS WITH NOTHING, AND THE TAX STRATEGIES SELF-EMPLOYED PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY MISSING. KEY TOPICS DISCUSSED WHEN YOUR PLAN GETS DERAILED * WHY YOUR SITUATION FEELS UNIQUE BUT FOLLOWS PATTERNS ADVISORS SEE REGULARLY * MOVING FROM CRISIS MODE TO STRATEGIC PLANNING * THE FIRST STEP: COMPLETING A PERSONAL FINANCIAL STATEMENT THE HELOC STRATEGY * WHY A HOME EQUITY LINE OF CREDIT IS EMERGENCY PROTECTION, NOT SPENDING MONEY * THE WARREN BUFFETT APPROACH: USING OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY * CREDIT UNIONS VS. TRADITIONAL BANKS FOR BETTER RATES SOLVING THE COLLEGE FUNDING CRISIS * THE PARENT PLUS LOAN STRATEGY THAT BUYS YOU FOUR YEARS * PUSHING PAYMENTS PAST THE ALIMONY END DATE TO FREE UP CASH FLOW * THE POWER OF KIDS HAVING "SKIN IN THE GAME" THE ESTATE PLANNING WAKE-UP CALL * WHY A SIMPLE WILL GOES TO PROBATE AND CAN BE CONTESTED * HOW YOUR EX COULD END UP CONTROLLING YOUR KIDS' INHERITANCE * THE REVOCABLE LIVING TRUST SOLUTION FOR $1,500-$2,500 TAX STRATEGIES FOR SELF-EMPLOYED PEOPLE * THE SOLO 401(K) THAT LETS YOU SHELTER UP TO $79,000/YEAR * DROPPING FROM 22% TO 12% EFFECTIVE TAX RATE THROUGH SMART CONTRIBUTIONS SOCIAL SECURITY AND INHERITANCES * RON'S UNCONVENTIONAL ADVICE: TAKE SOCIAL SECURITY WHEN YOU'RE ELIGIBLE * WHY INHERITANCES SHOULDN'T FACTOR INTO YOUR PLAN UNTIL THEY'RE REAL MEMORABLE QUOTES "YOU HAD A PLAN, AND YOUR PLAN GOT DERAILED. JUST SO YOU'RE AWARE, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW, IT WILL WORK." "TELL ME THE DAY YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, AND I'LL DEFINITIVELY TELL YOU WHEN YOU SHOULD TAKE SOCIAL SECURITY." "MOST INDIVIDUALS ARE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR WEALTH THAN THEIR HEALTH. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BULLETPROOF ESTATE PLAN, WHAT HAPPENS IF ALL OF YOUR MONEY WENT TO YOUR EX-WIFE?" KEY TAKEAWAYS 1. GET A HELOC IMMEDIATELY AS YOUR EMERGENCY FUND BACKSTOP WHILE YOU BUILD CASH RESERVES. 2. CONSIDER A PARENT PLUS LOAN TO SPREAD COLLEGE COSTS OVER FOUR YEARS. 3. A SIMPLE WILL ISN'T ENOUGH. A REVOCABLE LIVING TRUST PROTECTS YOUR LEGACY FROM BEING CONTESTED. 4. SELF-EMPLOYED? YOU'RE LIKELY OVERPAYING TAXES. A SOLO 401(K) LETS YOU SHELTER FAR MORE THAN STANDARD LIMITS. 5. DON'T COUNT ON INHERITANCES. PLAN AS IF THEY WON'T HAPPEN. ABOUT THE GUEST RON PHELPS IS A FINANCIAL ADVISOR WITH NEARLY 30 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AND A BACKGROUND IN TAX AND ACCOUNTING. Website: https://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/team/the-phelps-group/financial-advice-team/ronald.phelps/ SOCIAL MEDIA TEASER I SAT DOWN WITH MY FINANCIAL SITUATION LAID BARE. INCOME. EXPENSES. THE WHOLE UGLY PICTURE. RON PHELPS SAID SOMETHING I NEEDED TO HEAR. "YOU HAD A PLAN. YOUR PLAN GOT DERAILED. THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OVER." THEN HE SHOWED ME THINGS I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT. LIKE HOW A SIMPLE WILL COULD LET MY EX CONTROL MY KIDS' INHERITANCE. HOW I COULD SHELTER $79,000 A YEAR IN RETIREMENT SAVINGS. AND WHY MY MONTH-BY-MONTH COLLEGE PAYMENT PLAN WAS ALL WRONG. THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL? I CAN FINALLY SEE IT. Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube  Connect: gabe@moreclientsmorefun.com