Talking Like A Teen

Episode 61: I'm Dragging You Down With Backflips

Ashley, here! So I’m getting ready to move (again) and moving is a few steps below Hell on Earth and the only thing keeping me from rejecting all of my earthly possessions for a life among the jellyfish has been the fact that it’s spring and I’m allergic to being outdoors when there are plants growing. (I am exaggerating, but like…barely.) I’ve been consuming too many YouTube video essays while searching for tape and sharpies. Did you know Ringo Starr recorded a disco album? That there’s a group of people doing competitive birdwatching? There’s that four hour video about the Star Wars Hotel. DashCon expose. The YouTube Plagiarism/James Somerton expose, that’s a banger in this house. That ANTM documentary just dropped, so I keep getting suggested thinkpieces on Tyra Banks and such. I don’t really have a point, other than video essays are neat and I enjoy learning about random things, even if it’s the fact that Nickelback recorded a song with Flo Rida. (It’s just as awful as it sounds, look it up.) Anyway. We’re doing our 2025 music wrap up episodes and these episodes always end up being a good time. So, please enjoy. I gotta finish shoving books in boxes while consuming a four hour video about Animorphs. Be jealous.

Episode 60: Hype

60 episodes. Can you believe we’ve made 60 of these? Hopefully the kids still find “6-7” funny once we reach that point. We’re pretty excited about hitting another milestone, so it’s only fitting that we spend this episode listing “10 Hype Movie Moments That Make Us Black Out.” From massive cinematic franchises to a few hidden gems, we try our best to maintain our composure and not “run through a wall,” as Ashley would often say. Oh, yeah. This is Adrian. I guess the secret’s out. Please enjoy this episode and don’t tell Ashley I was here!

Episode 59: Trick-Or-Treat Me Like Your Boyfriend

Hey, gang! Adrian here. Ashley’s busy checking our Halloween candy at the behest of G.U.A.P.A. and didn’t have time to do a write-up. Apparently she’s requesting all of the fun-size Snickers bars. Who knew rogue computer programs ate chocolate? News to me! Anyway, this was a fun episode to record. We decided to share stories of past Spooky Season wackiness including being radicalized by trick-or-treating, party-going woes and we weigh in on whether or not primetime television created the concept of Mischief Night.

Episode 58: Paperback Head Pigeons

[The episode’s about Invader Zim, CW: Mild spoilers for a few episodes of a cartoon that is almost 25 years old. Enjoy the following barely related rant below.]  So I had this idea of doing a riff on some ‘90s commercial about Hungry Man TV dinners or something about potatoes (listen to the episode, it’ll make sense), but I found this article today about how this potato chip company (the biggest one, they make most of the chips but I’m also not advertising for them so no name drop, the article’s linked below) is doing a “drastic rebrand” after finding out that 42% of consumers “didn’t know their chips were made out of potatoes” and to that I say, “…Huh? How?!” Ok, so: A slightly sneaky play that some corporate leadership will do, especially new leadership, is to futz with the branding or logo. If you’re a job-hopping Sweaty Executive who’s looking for a line item to put on their LinkedIn page or whatever, you spearhead a logo or branding change. You as the executive don’t have to do much (marketing and your art departments are doing most of the work), but it’s still a project you, Sweaty Executive, led. So, credit taken. This potato thing sounds like the absolute flimsiest excuse to do a rebrand ever. Either that, or American education is so in the toilet that we don’t know stuff about snack food, the thing that we should obviously be best at. And we are Too Good At Snacks for me to believe that.  It sounds like, among other things, that the logo is going to look more “like the Sun”, we are redoing the packaging to look “like the wood planks of a potato crate”, and that obviously we’re doing to shout out that the chips are, in fact, made from “real potatoes”. I cannot believe that marketing is a real thing. This truly is the darkest timeline.  Also what other questions were asked on this survey?!?! Idk, I’m spiraling out (like spiral cut potatoes, ayyyyy). At any rate, I will be thinking about this 500 word pseudo-press release for the next several hours. Enjoy the episode. Next time I’ll just stick to rewriting the Doom Song or something.

Episode 57: When My Loud Guitar Comes In

[Thanks to Ro Panuganti, we got a new theme song, it’s almost as catchy as “Yvan eht nioj”! His socials and stuff are below, go show him some love plsthnx] Oh, say can you cry? There's trouble in a far off nation Time to get in Emo formation Lyrics more deadly than Jets to Brazil That's why I gotta ring da bell! Secrof Laiceps TALT! Secrof Laiceps TALT! Secrof Laiceps TALT! ‘Secrof Laiceps TALT!’ You gotta love that crazy chorus What does it mean? Uh, it doesn't mean anything. It's like "Soco Amaretto Lime" or "L.G. Fuad" The mission’s happening It's no basement on the hill So here’s a tissue Secrof Laiceps TALT