The D Shift

How Divorce Coaching Can Save Time, Money, and Stress

Divorce is not just a legal process. It is an emotional, financial, and strategic transition that can quickly become overwhelming without the right support. In this episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder speaks with fellow divorce coach Julie Desmond about the practical and emotional benefits of having a divorce coach as part of your support team. Julie shares how her own difficult divorce experience led her into the field of divorce coaching after realizing how many people navigate the process without guidance, preparation, or emotional support. The conversation highlights the important distinction between legal advice and divorce coaching, especially in helping clients stay organized, emotionally grounded, and prepared for the many decisions that arise throughout the process. Together, they discuss how conflict escalation often increases legal costs and emotional exhaustion, while preparation and emotional regulation can create better outcomes for everyone involved. Julie explains how simple shifts, such as pausing before reacting to texts or emails, preparing questions before attorney calls, and understanding what truly requires legal intervention, can save clients both money and unnecessary stress. Julie discusses how: • Divorce coaching provides emotional and strategic support that differs from legal advice • Preparation before mediation, attorney meetings, and court processes can reduce stress and unnecessary costs • Reacting emotionally during divorce often escalates conflict and increases legal fees • A divorce coach can help clients reality test situations and focus on the bigger picture • Shared parenting transitions can create identity challenges and emotional overwhelm for parents • Many people going through divorce feel isolated, especially when faith or cultural pressures are involved • Having a neutral support person can help clients feel more grounded and empowered during difficult decisions • Divorce coaching can help people approach the process more strategically instead of reactively About the Guest: I am Julie Desmond, founder of Desmond Divorce Coaching. As a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach I specialize in helping my clients navigate conflict and focus on their future. Helping them gain the knowledge they need to make informed smart decisions throughout the process. To connect with Julie: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1JqXRkFksN/?mibextid=wwXIfr About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Why Women Need To Stop Settling For Fine

Divorce is not the only experience that can completely reshape a woman’s identity. Career shifts, children leaving home, relocation, loss, and major life changes can all create moments where women stop and ask themselves a difficult question: Who am I now? In this episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder sits down with Shannon McGorry for a thoughtful conversation about transformation, self-discovery, and what it means to intentionally create a life that reflects who you are in this current chapter. Through her experience navigating divorce while raising two young daughters, Shannon shares how many women unintentionally lose touch with themselves by constantly adapting to the needs and expectations of others. She discusses how easy it becomes to define identity through roles such as wife, mother, caregiver, or professional, while never truly exploring what matters most to her personally. The conversation explores why so many women settle for being “fine” even when they know something beneath the surface feels misaligned. Shannon explains how identifying personal values lays the foundation for making better decisions, creating healthier habits, and building a more intentional life. Shannon breaks down her Activate Your Female Genius framework, which helps women reconnect with their identity, strengthen self-leadership, and uncover the unique strengths and gifts that often get buried during difficult life transitions. Rather than approaching change as something to fear, Shannon encourages women to see these moments as opportunities to redefine themselves with greater clarity and purpose. Shannon shares how: • Many women unconsciously shape-shift into roles and expectations that no longer align with who they are • “Fine” can become a way of settling instead of honestly addressing what feels off • Personal values can change throughout different stages of life and deserve regular reflection • Living out of alignment with core values often creates stress, resentment, and emotional exhaustion • Self-awareness and intentional habits help women create a stronger sense of direction after divorce or transition About the Guest: Shannon McGorry is the creator of Activate Your Female Genius®, a transformative framework that blends clarity-building, habit transformation, and actionable strategy to help women stop settling for “fine” and instead create an updated strategy for their current chapter of life. A PCC-level coach accredited by the ICF, Shannon is the founder and chief strategist of Love, Strength, and Grace, a women’s empowerment coaching firm offering 1:1 coaching, keynote speaking, and professional development workshops. Shannon also co-founded Your Strategy Reset™; a brand of in-person, customized, boutique women's leadership experiences. She combines professional expertise with lived experience to empower women as they navigate meaningful change with an updated strategy. For Shannon’s gift: https://www.lovestrengthandgrace.com/events To connect with Shannon: Website: www.lovestrengthandgrace.com Website: www.yourstrategyreset.com Instagram:lovestrengthandgrace LinkedIn: Your Strategy Reset | LinkedIn About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

How Trauma And Sexual Abuse Impact Intimate Relationships

Trauma changes far more than a single moment in time. It can alter the way people see themselves, how they experience intimacy, and how safe they feel in relationships long after the abuse has ended. In this deeply important episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder speaks with psychotherapist Scott Stolarick about the often unspoken connection between trauma, sexual abuse, shame, and relational dynamics. With more than three decades of clinical experience, Scott shares how trauma frequently creates ripple effects that extend into every area of a person’s life, including self-worth, trust, emotional safety, and future relationships. He explains why survivors are often left feeling responsible for what happened to them and how those beliefs can quietly shape the way they move through the world. The conversation also explores the unique complexity of sexual abuse within committed relationships and marriages, including coercive control and the emotional barriers that prevent many people from speaking openly about what they have experienced. Scott discusses how trauma can become deeply embedded when it goes untreated and why unresolved experiences often continue resurfacing through anxiety, emotional shutdown, hypervigilance, or chronic shame. Rather than focusing solely on retelling painful stories, this episode examines the importance of trauma-informed care and approaches such as EMDR therapy that help individuals process traumatic experiences in a healthier and more integrated way. Scott explains how healing is not about erasing the past, but about helping people stop defining themselves by what happened to them. Throughout the discussion, one message becomes very clear. Trauma may become part of someone’s story, but it does not have to become their identity. The episode focuses on the issues of: • Trauma often impacts far more than one specific event and can affect every area of life and relationships • Survivors of sexual abuse frequently struggle with shame and misplaced feelings of responsibility • Abuse within committed relationships and marriages is real and often goes unspoken • Unresolved trauma can surface through anxiety, emotional shutdown, hypervigilance, and difficulty trusting others • Trauma-informed therapy approaches such as EMDR can help people process painful experiences differently • Healing does not require forgetting the past, but learning not to be defined by it About the Guest: Scott Stolarick is a licensed, trauma-informed psychotherapist who has been practicing in the state of Illinois for 33 years. He is an experienced administrator and clinical supervisor as well as a seasoned clinician. Scott has Management and Leadership Certifications from the University of Notre Dame and Cornell University. Scott is currently the owner of Mosaic Pathway Counseling in Gurnee, Illinois. To connect with Scott: Website: www.mosaicpathwaycounseling.org LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/scott-stolarick-lcpc-cctp-298734252/ About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Why Self Security Matters In Divorce

What if the key to healthier relationships is not changing the other person, but learning how to feel secure within yourself? In this episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder sits down with Maria Vogel, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, to explore attachment styles, emotional safety, and the role self-security plays in both relationships and divorce. Maria shares how her work evolved from supporting children and families to helping adults heal unhealthy relational patterns. Drawing from both her professional expertise and her own experience as a child of divorce, Maria explains how attachment styles shape the way people seek emotional safety in relationships. Mardi and Maria unpack the anxious and avoidant dynamics that often appear in struggling marriages and why so many couples unintentionally trigger each other’s deepest insecurities. The conversation explores the emotional toll of resentment, the challenges of deciding whether to stay or leave, and how self-regulation and boundaries can dramatically change the way people navigate conflict. Maria introduces the concept of “self security,” which focuses on building self-trust, emotional regulation, and healthy boundaries rather than depending on another person for emotional stability. The discussion also examines why staying together for the children can sometimes create more harm than healing and how divorce can become an opportunity for growth and healthier patterns moving forward. The episode highlights how: • Attachment styles are often strategies people develop to create emotional safety • Many struggling relationships involve anxious and avoidant dynamics that reinforce conflict • Resentment grows when issues remain unresolved for too long • Couples often wait far too long before seeking therapy or support • Self security comes from emotional regulation and healthy boundaries • Staying together for the children can sometimes create unhealthy emotional environments • Divorce is not failure and can become an opportunity for healing and growth • Building a healthier relationship with yourself changes every other relationship in your life About the Guest: Maria Vogel is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in couples and individuals who want to heal relational patterns. Through her group practice, Bhumi Therapy Center, Maria teaches clients how to build more intentional lives using mindfulness-based therapy techniques. For Maria’s book, “Finally Secure”: https://a.co/d/0cIQzfW1 To connect with Maria: Website: www.bhumitherapycenter.com IG: @mariavtherapy About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

What A Good Divorce Really Looks Like

What if divorce did not have to destroy everything in its path? In this episode of The D Shift, Mardi Winder sits down with Karen McNenny to explore a very different perspective. One that challenges the traditional adversarial model and instead focuses on creating a thoughtful, intentional path forward, especially when children are involved. Karen shares her personal divorce journey and how it led her to build what she now calls the Good Divorce movement. Rather than focusing on conflict, she helps families navigate separation in a way that prioritizes long-term relationships, especially the co-parenting dynamic. Together, Mardi and Karen unpack what a “good divorce” actually means and why it is far more common than people realize, even if those stories are rarely shared. They discuss the limitations of the traditional legal system, the importance of early decisions, and how starting with communication and parenting plans can significantly change the outcome. This episode also challenges common assumptions, including the belief that staying together for the children is always the better choice, or that waiting until they are older will make divorce easier. Instead, the focus shifts to what children actually need, which is stability, honesty, and parents who can function in a healthy way, whether together or apart. Karen also shares insights from her new book, which is designed not just for those going through divorce, but for anyone connected to it. Her work emphasizes that divorce is not the end of a relationship, but a restructuring of it, and one that can be handled with intention rather than defaulting to conflict. This is a conversation about possibility, responsibility, and redefining what divorce can look like when people choose a different approach. The episode explores why: • Most divorces are not high conflict, but those stories are rarely shared • Divorce does not end a relationship; it restructures it • Starting with communication and parenting plans creates better long-term outcomes • The traditional legal system is built for conflict, not cooperation • Staying together for the children can sometimes cause more harm than good • Children need stability and honesty more than they need parents in the same home • A good divorce is not about perfection, it is about intention and design • Early decisions in the process often determine how the divorce will end About the Guest: Renowned for blending warmth, clarity, and practical strategy, Karen helps navigate change with intention. As a sought-after speaker, trusted advisor, and TEDx presenter, she draws on over two decades of leadership coaching and consulting across nonprofit, corporate, and public sectors. Karen is also the founder of the Good Divorce show and Good Divorce Academy, and author of The Good Divorce. Her lived experience—navigating her own divorce while raising children across two homes from kindergarten through college—proves families can restructure without rupturing, making her guidance profoundly relatable and effective. To connect with Karen: Website: thegooddivorcecoach.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gooddivorcecoach/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gooddivorcecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gooddivorcecoach TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gooddivorcecoach YouTube: @gooddivorcecoach About the Host Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC. For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb Connect with Mardi on Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinderadams/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave an Apple Podcast Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.