The Raising Kids with Purpose Podcast

16 // Help Your Kids Build Frustration Tolerance to Become More Resilient

A lot of parents grew up without getting their emotional needs met. They may have grown up emotionally unsupported and left to work through hard feelings on their own, mostly because their parents, even if well-intentioned, had to work and were busy. Or they grew up in homes where feeling disappointed, sad, or mad simply wasn't allowed. And out of love, many parents are now overcorrecting. They're removing every uncomfortable moment from their child's life because watching their child struggle feels unbearable. Here is the truth nobody is saying out loud: when we shield our kids from every hard moment, we are not protecting them. We are robbing them of one of the most important skills they will ever need: frustration tolerance. And tolerating frustration is needed to build resilience. In this episode, Adriane shares a real story about wanting to rescue her son from disappointment, but she made a different choice. She illustrates a powerful example of what it looks like to stay present with your child in their hardest moments without fixing it for them. Frustration tolerance is not something children are born with. It is a skill that must be practiced. Their brains are literally under construction, and their frontal lobe, the part responsible for regulating emotions and understanding cause and effect, are not fully developed until their mid-twenties. Our job as parents is not to remove the frustration. It is to be the scaffold while they learn to move through it. This episode covers: * Why so many well-intentioned parents have swung the pendulum too far, and what it is costing their kids * What frustration tolerance actually is and why it is one of the most critical skills to build in early childhood * The pickleball court story and what it taught both Adriane and her son about resilience, repair, and trying again * How to recognize when you are managing your own discomfort instead of supporting your child through theirs * Three practical things you can do this week to start building frustration tolerance in your child Resources and Links Mentioned: How to Become Your Child’s Emotion Coach: Episode 12 -  https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/emotioncoach/ [https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/emotioncoach/]  Play with Purpose Parenting Class: This class is designed to help parents connect with their children through intentional, purposeful play while building the skills kids need to thrive. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/play-with-purpose/ The P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program: Adriane's signature 7-step framework for parents who want to regulate themselves first so they can show up fully for their kids in the moments that matter most. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ [https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/]  Book a call with Adriane: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat [http://www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat]

15 // {Part 3/3: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs To Know}: The Sense no one talks about

This episode is about the 8th sensory system — interoception, and it’s the sense no one talks about. It's the one that connects your child's meltdowns, their anxiety, their inability to notice they're hungry until they're already falling apart, their emotional dysregulation, and so much more. And it's the one that, when I researched it, explained a lot about who I was as a child. This episode closes out the 3-part series on the 8 Sensory Systems, and it's the one I'd hand to every parent, teacher, and caregiver who has ever looked at a child in a full meltdown and had absolutely no idea what triggered it. In this episode: * What interoception actually is — the nervous system's process of sensing, interpreting, and integrating signals from inside the body, including heart rate, hunger, temperature, pain, and emotional states * What a large interoceptive cup looks like — deeply tuned in to hunger, fullness, bathroom needs, body temperature, and emotional shifts * What a small interoceptive cup looks like — missing hunger cues until complete breakdown, potty accidents, not noticing they are overheating, unable to identify where discomfort is coming from * The direct connection between interoception and emotional regulation — why children who can sense what is happening inside their bodies regulate better * The highly sensitive child who absorbs everyone else's energy and emotions — what is actually happening neurologically * A personal story about growing up with interoceptive hypersensitivity, being called a crybaby, and the shame that came with it * What to do — practical tools including body check-ins, body awareness language, predictable schedules, and validating your child's physical experiences * How all 8 cups interact with each other, and why a child can go from fine to completely dysregulated so quickly * The school angle — why children with unidentified sensory needs are frequently mislabeled as defiant, and how understanding this makes you a more powerful advocate in every school meeting * A note on microschools and co-ops as alternative environments worth exploring The shift this series is meant to create: No cup size is wrong. Your job is not to change your child's cup — it is to understand it. That understanding is what moves you from frustration to empathy, from confusion to confident advocacy. You stop being just the disciplinarian and start being the person who truly knows your child. Resources mentioned: * Full blog post with all 8 systems: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems * Free Sensory Profile Worksheet — fill it out for each of your kids: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5 [https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5] * Work with Adriane — coaching programs for parents who want personalized support, understanding and advocating for their child: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat [http://www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat]  Missed the earlier episodes in this series: * Episode 13 covers the foundation of sensory processing, the cup analogy, and the tactile, vestibular, and proprioceptive systems. * Episode 14 covers the auditory, visual, olfactory, and gustatory systems — including a complete reframe on picky eating and why noise-sensitive children are often the loudest ones in the room. A note before you go: Take the reflection question from this episode seriously — which cup surprised you the most, and which one finally explains something about your child that has been confusing you? Then download the free Sensory Profile Worksheet and fill it out for each of your kids. That one exercise will change the way you see their behavior, possibly forever. Thank you for spending this series with me. Sharing this podcast with another parent who needs it is one of the most meaningful things you can do — for their family and for mine.

14 // {Part 2/3: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs To Know} Sound, Sight, Smell & Taste

Why Your Kid Covers Their Ears, is Super Loud but Hates Loud Places & Won't Eat Certain Foods Has your child ever covered their ears at their own birthday party — the very one they begged for? Or do you have a kid who will only eat plain pasta and you've spent years calling it picky eating? Or maybe you've walked into a store and your child immediately starts shutting down, and you can't figure out why? None of that is behavior. None of it is defiance. And none of it has anything to do with how you're parenting. In Part 2 of this 3-part series on the 8 Sensory Systems, we're covering the four senses most parents think they already understand — and completely reframing what's actually happening in your child's nervous system. This episode is full of real stories from my own house, the science explained simply, and practical things you can start doing today. In this episode: * The auditory sensory system — why your noise-sensitive child is also the loudest human in your house (the science behind this one is wild) * The visual sensory system — what's really happening when your child is overwhelmed by clutter, bright lights, or screens * The olfactory sensory system (smell) — why this sense has the most direct pathway to your child's emotional brain, and what that means for their behavior * The gustatory sensory system (taste) — the "picky eater" reframe that changes everything, and why pressure at mealtimes always backfires * Real stories from my boys, including why I couldn't take my toddler into a public restroom with self-flushing toilets * Why stress makes ALL of these systems harder to manage * A note for parents who are also neurodivergent — this episode might explain some things about YOU too Resources mentioned: * Full blog post: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems [https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems/] * Free Sensory Processing Profile — fill it out for everyone in your family: landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5 [https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5] * Picky eating resource I love: Feeding Littles (I have a friend who knows her personally — her approach is the real deal): instagram.com/feedinglittles [https://www.instagram.com/feedinglittles/?hl=en] * The Sensory Diet Book (affiliate link): amzn.to/4dibEB8 [https://amzn.to/4dibEB8] Want personalized support? If you're listening to this series and thinking, "this is exactly my child", or "this is totally me", let's talk. I'd love to help you connect the dots and figure out what YOUR child specifically needs. Find a time to chat: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat [www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat] Missed Part 1? Episode 13 covers the foundation — the cup analogy, sensory seeking vs. sensory avoidant, and the tactile, vestibular, and proprioceptive systems. Start there if you haven't already. Up next — Part 3: We're covering interoception, the 8th sense almost no parent has heard of, and the one that connects everything — including your child's emotional regulation, meltdowns, and ability to read their own body. Don't skip this one. If this episode helped you see your child differently, will you share it with another parent who needs to hear it? That's how we change the conversation — one family at a time. Thank you for being here.

13 // {Part 1/3: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs To Understand}: Tactile, Vestibular and Proprioceptive

Part 1/3: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Understand If you've ever googled "why is my child so difficult," this one's for you! Because here's what I know: your child isn't difficult. Their brains are wired differently than you think. And once you understand how, everything changes the way you see their meltdowns, the way you respond to their big behaviors, and the way you show up as their advocate. In this episode, I'm kicking off a brand new series on the 8 sensory processing systems. This is going to be one of those episodes you send to every parent you know. Most of us grew up believing we have 5 senses. We actually have 8 sensory systems. And every single one of them plays a role in how your child behaves, regulates, learns, and connects. Today, we're starting with the foundation: What sensory processing actually is, why your child's "cup" is uniquely theirs, and we're diving into the first three systems: touch, movement (vestibular), and body awareness (proprioceptive). In this episode: * Why there are actually 8 sensory systems (not 5) and why this changes everything * The cup analogy and why no cup size is wrong, just different * Sensory seeking vs. sensory avoidant: what each looks like in real kids * The tactile system: why tags, light touch, and messy play are about more than preference * The vestibular system: what's really happening when your kid can't stop spinning (hint: it's not just because he or she is hyperactive) * The proprioceptive system: the "organizing" sense and why heavy work is magic for every child * Real stories from my own three boys, including Nolan's coloring pages in preschool and what co-regulation looked like in our hallway Resources mentioned: * Full blog post: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems [https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems/] * Free Sensory Profile Worksheet: fill this out for each of your kids: landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5 [https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5] * Instagram Reel mentioned in this episode: instagram.com/p/DJFoA7ZTMPU [https://www.instagram.com/p/DJFoA7ZTMPU/] Want to go deeper? If you're ready to stop reacting and start understanding your child's unique wiring, that's exactly what we do inside my coaching programs. You'll learn to become your child's strongest advocate, in your home and in every room you walk into on their behalf. 👉www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat  [https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/work-with-me] This is Part 1 of a 3-part series. Next week: We're covering the auditory, visual, smell, and taste systems, including why "picky eating" is NOT a behavior problem and why your kid covers their ears at their own birthday party. If this episode resonated with you, will you take 30 seconds and leave a review? It helps other parents find this podcast, and that matters so much to me. Thank you for being here.

12 // How to Become Your Child's Emotion Coach With These 5 Steps

5 Steps to Become Your Child's Emotion Coach The moment your child is at their most emotional is not a problem to solve. It is actually the most important opportunity you have with them. In this episode, Adriane walks through the five steps to becoming your child's emotion coach, explains why validating feelings is not the same as condoning behavior, and shares a story about a client who had never formally studied emotion coaching but was doing every single step beautifully without even realizing it. That story alone will give you so much hope. This episode is the foundation for everything else in connected parenting. If you have ever felt like you are trying to correct behavior that just keeps coming back, this is where the real shift happens. In This Episode You'll Hear: * Why your child's meltdown is not the enemy and what it actually is * The neuroscience behind naming emotions and how labeling a feeling measurably reduces its intensity in the brain * Why there are no "bad" emotions, only comfortable and uncomfortable ones, and what that reframe changes for your parenting * The five steps of emotion coaching and how to move through them in real time * Why Step 1 starts with YOU and your own emotional awareness before you can coach anyone else * How connection always comes before correction, and what happens to a child's brain when you lead with empathy first * The difference between validating feelings and permitting behavior, and why parents confuse these two things constantly * A real client story about a parent who was already doing this work naturally and what that looked like in action * Why kids who feel understood actually behave better, not worse * How emotion coaching builds the brain pathways your child needs for lifelong emotional intelligence and healthy relationships   Experts and Research Referenced: Dr. Dan Siegel Psychiatrist, author, and clinical professor at UCLA School of Medicine. Adriane references two concepts from his work: "name it to tame it," the research showing that labeling an emotion activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces the intensity of the emotional response, and Mindsight, his framework for developing the capacity to understand your own mind and the minds of others. Learn more at drdansiegel.com Dr. Gordon Neufeld Developmental psychologist and author of Hold On to Your Kids. Adriane references his principle of "collect before you connect before you correct," the idea that a child needs to feel attached and safe before any teaching or redirection can actually land. Learn more at neufeldinstitute.org The Gottman Institute The emotion coaching framework taught in this episode is rooted in the research of Dr. John Gottman, whose studies found that a parent's ability to emotion-coach their child is one of the strongest predictors of that child's social, emotional, and academic outcomes. His research identified the five steps of emotion coaching that Adriane walks through in this episode. Learn more at gottman.com Free Resource: Free Emotion Coach Toolkit - https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/i1x5n9 [https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/i1x5n9]  A printable resource to help you put the five steps into practice right away, including emotion vocabulary tools, sentence starters for each step, and guidance for getting through hard moments without losing the connection. Work With Adriane: P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program For parents who are ready to go beyond listening and actually apply this work to their specific child, their specific triggers, and their specific family. The P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program is where the deeper work happens. Emotion coaching, co-regulation, connection rituals, boundaries, and repair are all woven throughout the program with personalized coaching support. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ [https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/]  Setting Boundaries with Purpose Toolkit A companion resource for families working through how to hold limits with empathy and without power struggles. Pairs directly with the emotion coaching framework because boundaries land so much better when the connection is already there.  https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/setting-boundaries-toolkit/ [https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/setting-boundaries-toolkit/]  Book a Discovery Call  If you want personalized support and a plan built around your family, book a discovery call with Adriane www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat [http://www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat]  Connect With Adriane: 🌐 Website: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com 📸 Instagram: www.instagram.com/raisingkidswithpurpose If this episode resonated with you, share it with another parent who is in the thick of the hard moments and needs to hear that those moments are actually the doorway to connection. Leaving a review helps other parents find this show.