What We Made Possible

031. When Your Parents' Dream Isn't Yours: A Systems Coach's Take

What do you do when you don't want the role handed down by your family? This week, I sat with a story I came across on Reddit. A young adult is expected to take over their parents' spring roll and boba shop, even as their heart (and their degree) pull them toward a completely different career in web development. On the surface, it reads like a familiar family business succession story, but underneath, It's so much more than that. It's about tangled love, inherited expectations, and the weight of mental health struggles that so many of us in immigrant and intergenerational families know intimately, even when no one says a word about it out loud. I walk through how I'd approach this as a systems coach, drawing on frameworks that look at the bigger picture, rather than treating a situation like it's one person's problem to solve. And that's because for challenges like these, the "problem" lives in relationships. The resistance, the breakdowns, the unspoken grief? Those are the systems asking for change. And sometimes letting go of who we thought we had to be is its own kind of homecoming. I'll leave you with this. What would you do in this person’s shoes? What truths are aching to be spoken? Take a listen, and come tell me what lands. * Book a consult for private coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult] * Book a consult for team coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/ [https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/] Newsletter : https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aa [https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aa]

030. The Unspoken Layers of Family Business Transitions and Leadership

In this episode, I explore what it truly means to step into succession within a family business—especially when those transitions aren’t just about operational handovers, but are deeply woven with questions of dignity, legacy, and belonging. Growing up watching my mom run a baby store in Staten Island while my dad commuted across boroughs to Brooklyn, I witnessed firsthand the sacrifices that built my family’s stability. For so many in our communities, these family businesses aren’t just assets. They’re proof that all the struggles, the predawn mornings, and missed school buses were worth it. And when it comes time to pass the baton, we’re not just navigating logistics—we’re wrestling with identity, generational hopes, and the weight of what came before us. Throughout this episode, I share personal stories (including how I learned to tie my shoes on the steps of my mom’s store!) and reflect on the questions and pride that shape these transitions. I also talk about systems coaching as a way to hold space for these conversations, and invite listeners considering succession—or those supporting someone in that seat—to reach out. You are not alone in these complex feelings. There’s real hope in finding clarity together, honoring the past while allowing something new to emerge. If you’re at a crossroads with your family’s legacy, wondering what’s possible next, I invite you to listen, connect, and explore these questions with me. Let’s discover what we can make possible for ourselves and our communities. * Book a consult for private coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult] * Book a consult for team coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/ [https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/] Newsletter : https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aa [https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aa]

029. Building Stronger Teams with Systems Coaching

In this episode, I share about what it means to lead, heal, and make change at the family, team, and organizational level. I invite you to step into the sometimes messy, always powerful world of systems coaching with me. Lately, I've been deepening my practice by exploring the relational dynamics that shape how we move together. Whether it's a family navigating a layoff, a team supporting immigrant communities in New York City, or an organization redefining its purpose several years into a crisis, I see over and over how our greatest clarity comes when we reflect as a collective. The questions we hold—how do we make decisions together, how do we stay connected to our purpose, how do we support each other in the thick of change—are rarely just personal. They're woven through our relationships. I share stories from the field—including my own family’s journey through sudden career shifts and possibility with succession—and the truth that our leadership and healing are strongest when we invite others into the conversation. Together, we can navigate complexity, move through uncertainty, and practice new ways of being that honor both our values and our need to belong. If you've been questioning your next steps, feeling the stress of transition, or simply craving a more connected way of working and living—this episode is for you. Let's rediscover clarity together, and imagine what becomes possible when we heal and reimagine in community. * Book a consult for private coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult] * Book a consult for team coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/ [https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/] * Newsletter : https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aa [https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aa]

028. What We Made Possible x Self Care Oasis: What Would Happen if You Stopped Putting Everyone Before Yourself?

In today's episode, I invite you into a raw and nourishing conversation about burnout—what it really looks like, how it creeps up on us, and most importantly, the hope and clarity that can emerge on the other side. This time I am the guest and I sit down with Samantha to share my own story on her show Self Care Oasis: the moment when, after months of pouring myself into mission-driven work during the pandemic, I hit a wall. I talk openly about caring for my partner through COVID, the added weight of anti-Asian violence, and the heartbreak of feeling unseen even on a DEI team. When burnout overflowed, seeking support wasn’t easy. I hit barrier after barrier within our healthcare system, but eventually, with the right people and a dash of luck, I found space to recenter and heal. Together, Samantha and I get real about how systems often work against us, especially as women of color, and why tending to ourselves is essential. We dig into the concept of “emotional first aid” and somatic practices, and how it’s possible to reset and slowly rebuild, even in the face of overwhelming crises. If you’re feeling worn down, I want you to know: you’re not alone, you don’t have to do all the things, and there is a way back to clarity that starts with simple, nourishing steps. Take a listen and let’s explore, together, how you can tend to yourself while still being deeply rooted in community. About Samantha Gregory: Samantha Gregory is a wellness consultant, femtech founder, and sovereignty strategist who helps Black and POC women stop abandoning themselves and start living from self-devotion. After being diagnosed with premature menopause at 33 following years of burnout, toxic relationships, and unhealed trauma, she spent two decades learning, healing, and building a life of intentional bliss. She is the founder of the School of Self Devotion, host of the Self Care Oasis Podcast, and creator of the Self-Devotion Ph.D in Me Degree programs. Her work lives at the intersection of nervous system regulation, identity architecture, and radical self-devotion.  Where to Find Samantha Gregory: LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/samanthagregory [https://linkedin.com/in/samanthagregory]Tiktok: https://tiktok.com/@mssamanthagregory [https://tiktok.com/@mssamanthagregory]YouTube: https://youtube.com/@samanthagregory [https://youtube.com/@samanthagregory] * Book a consult for private coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult] * Book a consult for team coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/ [https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/] * Newsletter : https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aa [https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aa]

027. What If Nonprofit Fundraising Was Easy? How to Let Money Fall From the Sky with Misty Marquam

On today’s episode, I sit down with Misty Marquam, powerhouse fundraiser, auctioneer, and founder of Marquam Agency—the nation’s only fundraising auction agency led by and for minorities. As we unpack her remarkable journey, we talk about what happens when possibility shifts: Misty never imagined auctioneering (or fundraising) was even an option, let alone something she could build as a woman of color and a single mom. We dive into the barriers that nonprofits face when fundraising—the reluctance to ask for money, the urge for humility, and the stigma around not being self-sufficient. Misty shares how she’s healing her own “money wound,” reframing scarcity into abundance, and aligning values between organizations and their donors to make the fundraising ask feel not just possible, but joyful. We also laugh about wild moments from live events (elementary school auctions = parents unleashed!), and talk honestly about the historical baggage tied to auctioneering itself. Misty’s work is about reclamation—turning a once-exclusive practice into a tool for collective thriving and representation. So, if your organization or community is experiencing funding cuts and feeling stuck in scarcity, this conversation is your invitation to clarity. Misty’s approach shows us that fundraising can be easy and fun—when it’s rooted in values, authenticity, and alignment. I invite you to listen and reflect: What resonates for you? Where could possibility—maybe even abundance—show up in your work when you’re clear on your goals and invite others in? About Misty Marquam: Misty Marquam, founder + Principal Auctioneer at Marquam Agency, is a powerhouse of energy and enthusiasm. Specializing in fundraising events, data-driven revenue strategy and equity, Misty works tirelessly as organizations’ mission ambassador. She has but one goal for her partners: bring the fun while showing them the money! As a woman of color, Misty proudly advances diversity within the auction industry where less than 16% of auctioneers are women and fewer than 5% are people of color or minorities.  Marquam Agency is the first and only fundraising auction agency in the NATION comprised of minorities with emphasis on serving the underrepresented. Innovating FUNdraising since 2006, this native Oregonian, foodie and mother of two is a World Wide College of Auctioneering grad, a Benefit Auction Specialist (only 1% of auctioneers worldwide hold this designation) and a member of the National Auction Association. When not exceeding goals, Misty adores music, dancing, singing, bonfires, nature and general merrymaking. We believe you'll not have a better time supporting your favorite cause with anyone else! Where to find Misty: Website: http://www.MarquamAgency.com [http://www.marquamagency.com]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marquamagency/ [https://www.instagram.com/marquamagency/] * Website: https://www.malayasolutions.com [https://www.malayasolutions.com] * Book a consult for private coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/private-consult] * Book a consult for team coaching: https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult [https://tidycal.com/malayame/team-coaching-consult] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/ [https://www.instagram.com/patti.malaya/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciadayleg/] * Newsletter : https://malaya.myflodesk.com/ub5ick46aahttps://malaya.myflodesk.com/podcast [https://malaya.myflodesk.com/podcast]