Shitting Gold w/ David Cross | Your Mom's House Ep. 856

Shitting Gold w/ David Cross | Your Mom's House Ep. 856

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! And it's finally here! Only at https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $29.99. Get it now! Check out David Cross' newest special The End Of The Beginning Of The End at https://officialdavidcross.com/ SPONSORS: - Head to https://Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Way Day. - Find LUCY near you at lucy.co/stores, or save 20% on your first online order at https://lucy.co/YMH with promo code YMH. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. Mommy! On this episode of Your Mom's House, Tom and Christina talk about Tina's recent performances and how she's actively working to the make the Comedy Mothership gayer. They then open the show with another clip courtesy of Kinky Unc, before moving on to cool gmail guy, some cool chiropractors, and that knucklehead cornhole pro with no limbs. The mommies are then joined by actor and comedian David Cross. David promotes his new comedy special THE END OF THE BEGINNING OF THE END, produced by Tom and YMH Studios and gets a hard lesson in TikTok slop before the trio discuss everything from college education to gold dipped steak. They also talk furries, British fetishes, Roosevelt Island, the Perfect Smile, Machu Picchu, and a clip so wild, David Cross had to get out of his seat to get a closer look! Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 856 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:07:32 - Opening Clip: Stop Teasing Me 00:19:02 - Can't Trust Internet Girls 00:23:26 - Really Cool Chiropractors 00:30:40 - Quadriplegic Cornhole Pro 00:38:26 - Clip: Strong Ass Fish 00:40:31 - David Cross & College Education 00:49:18 - The End of the Beginning of the End 00:59:44 - Golden Shit 01:06:28 - Roosevelt Island & Silver Lake 01:15:22 - TikToks 01:22:40 - Fake Plastic Teeth 01:26:01 - Furries & Fetishes 01:31:36 - More TikToks 01:39:50 - Closing Song - "TikTok All Stars" by Captain Marc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Poopy Powerslams w/ Cody Rhodes | Your Mom's House Ep. 855

The End is near! Premieres tomorrow April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ Today is the last day for the presale pricing! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: - Go to https://helixsleep.com/YMH This week, WWE Champion Cody Rhodes pulls up to Your Mom's House with Tom Segura and Christina Pazsitzky for one of the most kayfabe episodes yet, they talk WrestleMania, getting booed by thousands of maniacs, puking mid-match, and the real chaos of life inside the ring that most fans don't even see. Cody breaks down what it’s like defending his title on the biggest stage, how crowds can flip on you in real time, and why getting booed might actually be more fun than cheers. He also gets into the psychology of wrestling, learning from legends like The Undertaker, and how performers pivot mid-match when things go sideways. Tom and Christina also go off on Tax Day, break down some cool guys, check out lion-feeding idiots, talk amusement park disasters, and read a fan submitted “Pazsitzky Effect.” Plus: smelly wrestlers, locker room etiquette, Big Show’s legendary farts, wrestling themed horrible or hilarious clips, and so much more! It's still real to me damnit! Your Mom’s House Ep. 855 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:06:19 - Opening Clip: Mentally Retarded Person 00:08:46 - Kim Jong Un Is A Cool Guy 00:16:55 - Mike Tax Guy 00:23:01 - Clip: Cool Guy Workout 00:24:08 - Hungry Lion 00:29:25 - No More Gay DM's 00:35:16 - A Pazsitzky Effect: Towels 00:38:13 - A Pazsitzky Effect: Sun Visors 00:41:22 - Water Parks & Rollercoasters 00:45:41 - Sun Visors & Wrestlemania 00:50:29 - Steve Martin & Wrestling Fans 00:54:37 - Revealing Wrestling Secrets 01:03:31 - Piledrivers 01:07:12 - Nakedness 01:14:54 - Handshakes 01:16:33 - Horrible Or Hilarious: Wrestling Edition 01:28:56 - When Fans Attack 01:32:55 - Thoughts On Pat McAfee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Tim & Christine Learn About Bimbofication | Your Mom's House Ep. 854

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: - Head to https://BlueChew.com to get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code YMH. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com Tom Segura and Christina P are back in Studio Jeans for another completely unhinged episode of Your Mom’s House, and this one goes from philosophy class to fake tits in record time. The Main Mommies kick things off by solving the world’s least necessary ethical debate, then dive headfirst into the internet chaos with a wild breakdown of the Kristi Noem husband story involving fetishes, webcam betrayal, and big bimbo boobies. Also in this episode: 80 year old sex symbols, Safety Larry delivering some anxiety-inducing escalator wisdom, Mantak Chia teaches the jeans how to hold testicle and circulate sexual energy, and Tom reveals the kind of fancy gift he gives a fancy chef after a great meal. Plus there’s a hilarious restaurant review, horrifying injury clips, wet floor PTSD, nicotine pouch logic, and a closing stretch of TikToks so deranged it could only live inside the Mommy-Dome. If you're looking for internet weirdos, cool guys, fake boobs, escalator trauma, old-lady thirst, and enough chaotic marriage riffing to keep your jeans high and tight, this ones for you. Your Mom’s House Ep. 854 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:44 - Opening Clip: Incest Is Cool 00:12:52 - Kristi Noem's Husband 00:22:56 - Horny Granny Wants To Spank Tom 00:27:27 - A Fancy Gift For A Fancy Chef 00:30:30 - Fucking Expensive Restaurant 00:32:39 - Clip: Human Water Gun 00:33:20 - International Realtors 00:36:35 - Safety Larry 00:39:38 - Mantak Chia 00:45:21 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:00:11 - Mike The Tax Guy 01:03:58 - Christina's TikToks 01:16:37 - Closing Song - "WTF Is Eco-Sex" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Ari Matti Is An International Problem | Your Mom's House Ep. 853

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ [https://theend.ymhstudios.com/] . Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: * For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH [https://hims.com/YMH]. Tom Segura holds it down solo on this episode of Your Mom’s House while Christina is away, and he’s joined by comedian Ari Matti for one wildly funny conversation. Ari breaks down his insane journey from Estonia to Melbourne, London, New York, and Austin, explains how he learned to do stand-up in a second language, and talks about going from open mics overseas to getting passed at The Comedy Mothership and becoming a Kill Tony regular. Along the way, Tom and Ari get into Ari’s background in MMA, the delusional confidence it takes to survive comedy, and why being an outsider ended up becoming his biggest advantage. Then things go fully off the rails with stories about foreign chiropractors, Estonian blackface on national TV, Robert Paul Champagne, Alex Jones, Liver King at the Four Seasons, catastrophic injury clips, and one of the most disgusting travel-hookup stories ever told on the show. It’s a classic YMH mix of comedy, chaos, culture shock, internet lunatics, and deeply questionable sexual honesty. Your Mom’s House Ep. 853 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:02 - Comedy In Non-Native Tongue 00:11:20 - America & MMA Fighting 00:19:17 - Opening Clip: I'll Eat It 00:23:33 - Foreign Chiropractors 00:28:48 - Big Word Burger 00:32:34 - Clip: Alex Jones Calling It Quits 00:34:13 - Liver King & Rogan 00:37:42 - Big Break & YMH Memories 00:41:30 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:48:27 - Brain Injuries 00:58:19 - What's Happening With The Internet? 01:00:35 - Kinky Unc 01:04:13 - Plugging Dates 01:05:44 - Fat Boy For Life 01:08:37 - Closing Song - "WHAAAT" by Tyler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Brian Simpson Almost Died | Your Mom's House Ep. 852

_The End_ is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/. Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. SPONSORS: - Text YMH to 64000 to get a FREE pocket pivot and their 10-pattern sprayer with the purchase of ANY size Copper Head hose. Message and data rates may apply. - Head to https://factormeals.com/ymh50off and use code ymh50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. This week, Tom’s away, so Christina P calls in Brian Simpson, who after an appropriately timed "I'm having chest pains" drop, immediately reveals he almost died last month. What follows is a hilarious and horrifying breakdown of Brian’s heart attack on the road in Atlanta, and the odyssey of ICU insanity, sexy nurses, fried chicken in the cardiac unit, missing meds, CVS incompetence, and the always awful VA. Once they’re done unpacking death, survival, and why Americans are apparently supposed to just die quietly, Christina and Brian swerve into Justin Timberlake’s DUI arrest, Dolly Parton’s tits, looksmaxxing, TikTok freaks, adult summer camp psychos, horny grannies, gay blacks, and the fart BIG WORD lady trying to explain herself on The Breakfast Club. Grab your Life Alert and enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 852 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:41 - Opening Clip: I'm Having Chest Pain 00:03:22 - Brian Simpson Almost Died 00:11:22 - Getting To The Hospital 00:22:13 - The Wacky American Healthcare System 00:33:06 - New Lease On Life 00:37:40 - Gay Black Guy Stuff 00:40:13 - Horny Granny 00:42:20 - Justin Timberlake Arrest Footage 00:45:42 - Dolly Parton's Funbags 00:51:27 - TikToks 01:04:51 - The Fart Slur Lady Apologizes 01:10:41 - More White People Shit 01:16:46 - Closing Song - "Chest Pain" by MANOLO Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]