20 Year Old Butterfly
âIâm curious. How do you deal with the Fear of Being seen?â Thereâs a lot of questions, comments, ideas, & opinions shared online that we see at an endless pace. Usually, we scroll on by. But when I read Andy ( â¨ď¸ Highly Sensitive Woman â¨ď¸ [https://substack.com/profile/270156-highly-sensitive-woman]) âs note here on Substack, pondering that question, I paused. And I was eager to join in the conversation. This was my reply: I love this question. I relate so deeply with this especially having lifelong experience feeling so different from others. Iâve noticed that it helps when the people Iâm being seen by are people I feel are kindred spirits, warm, or seemingly non judgmental. Itâs really hard to feel comfortable being seen by people who you know wonât really get you. Iâve also had to learn (through experience) over the years that not everybody needs access to my vulnerability. Iâve shared stories with people that I now wish I hadnât because I didnât allow myself to pause and pay attention to how my body felt. I think weâre allowed to choose who sees the deeper parts of ourselves. I also notice that really seeing & accepting myself helps lighten a bit of the heaviness of insecurity. One example that comes to mind- when I first started my podcast last year it was nearly unbearable for me to listen back to my own voice. I was so judgmental of myself & noticed so many things that I felt I did wrong. But I had to listen so I could edit the episodes. (Most were with guests but I also do solo!) After a while, I naturally began to accept how I sound, the fact that I lose my train of thought during conversations because of the pressure of the moment, that I am imperfect. And now I actually kind of love listening back. After our exchange over on Andyâs Substack note, I knew I wanted to dive deeper. We had a lovely conversation on my podcast, 20 Year Old Butterfly, and I know itâs going to be a treat for you to listen to, as it was for us to chat. ⨠Thereâs more layers than a 12 layer cake đ° but the core of it is sweet Vulnerability and being seen, especially for those of us that have spent a large portion of our lives feeling different from everyone around us, is a layered, multifaceted experience. There are so many elements to it. As we chat about in the episode, there can be dissociation from ourselves within ourselves, anxiety that exists deep within the body, an environment of people who arenât the right people to be open with - even the act of someone LOOKING at us with their eyes can bring up a multitude of emotions. Itâs something I have an intimate, yet messy and confusing, relationship with and I wonder if you relate? At the same time, I have experienced the sweet gifts that vulnerability (in the right circumstances) brings into our lives as humans who dream of deep connection. Also, for those of us that are really good at keeping everything tightly shut inside, or dealing with emotional pain all by ourselves, being vulnerable is sometimes the thing that relieves us of years of pain. And sometimes vulnerability means the light parts too. Sharing even though it might come out awkward or imperfect. Embracing our weirdness and letting it be known. Dressing how we want to dress even if weâre judged. Rejecting the norm in little acts of courage. We dove deep - with stories Iâve never shared - and a conversation on the multi facets of being seen đź Whether youâre an entrepreneur putting your creativity and ideas out into the uncertain online or real world - or a sensitive human whose watered yourself down to fit into a societal mold, this episode is for you, and itâs out for you to listen to now ⨠Listen to this weekâs episode here on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/20-year-old-butterfly/id1870719559] & here on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/0w27LfNt0Bxw7asAA2SIvU?si=af7c89d7575e4c5e] !!! đ§ Yay!! See you every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or right here on Substack! đŚ Letâs connect with each other! 𩷠Connect with Andy: Highly Sensitive Woman - Substack [https://highlysensitivewoman.substack.com/] Connect with me (Bailey!) : Read where the name 20 Year Old Butterfly comes from! [https://baileycreativity.substack.com/about] Buy my book here! [https://baileycreativity.myshopify.com/] My Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/baileycreativity] Explore my new website in-progress đź [https://baileycreativity.com/] (Music) Stock Media provided by marcozannone / Pond5 Sending love to you! đŚ Bailey This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit baileycreativity.substack.com [https://baileycreativity.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]
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