Ep. 62 - Mothering Ourselves in the Homeschooling Years with Missy Willis

Ep. 62 - Mothering Ourselves in the Homeschooling Years with Missy Willis

What happens when you've been needed for so long that you've lost touch with yourself? After years of caregiving, homeschooling, co-regulation, appointments, accommodations, and carrying the invisible labor of family life, many parents find themselves running on empty. Resentful. Exhausted. Overstimulated. Disconnected from their own needs, interests, and identity. In this episode, unschooling mom, educator, and writer Missy Willis joins me for a conversation about mothering ourselves in the homeschooling years. We explore why so many parents disappear inside caregiving, where the need to control often comes from, how grief shows up in home education, and what it looks like to reconnect with ourselves when we can't remember what lights us up anymore. This is Part 2 of our 3-part series on capacity. In this episode, we discuss: • Why parents lose touch with themselves in caregiving • The difference between self-care and mothering ourselves • Grief, identity, and capacity in homeschooling • "Pre-planning your breakdown" and what it reveals • The connection between control, safety, and overwhelm • Reconnecting with your needs, interests, and inner life • Creating a family culture where everyone's needs matter   CONNECT WITH MISSY: * Website [https://letemgobarefoot.com/] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/letemgobarefoot] * Substack [https://substack.com/@letemgobarefoot] CONNECT WITH KELLY: Learn more about 90-Minute School Day Training [https://90minuteschoolday.com/guide-training/] Learn more about Day in the Life (DITL) Community [https://90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/]

Ep. 61 - Not Everything Is A Discipline Problem with Sunita Kapahi Theiss

What if the behaviors we’ve been taught to correct are actually signs of overwhelm, sensory overload, burnout, or nervous system distress? In this episode, we’re joined by Sunita Kapahi Theiss. Sunita is a writer, low-demand coach, unschooling parent, and neurodivergent advocate. She joins us for a deeply honest conversation about what’s really happening underneath behavior in neurodivergent children and adults. We talk about PDA, autistic burnout, executive dysfunction, nervous system safety, low-demand parenting, and the profound shift that happens when we stop asking: “How do I stop this behavior?” and begin asking: “What’s actually going on underneath?” This conversation is especially for parents who feel exhausted, confused, isolated, or stuck in cycles of escalation with their children. It’s also for the adults who are beginning to recognize themselves in these conversations too. Inside this episode: * Why not everything is a discipline problem * What sensory overload, shutdown, and executive dysfunction can actually look like in daily life * The difference between support and permissiveness * PDA, burnout, and reducing demands * What “building capacity over time” really means * How overwhelm in adults is often misunderstood too * Why nervous system safety changes everything * Shifting from compliance and control toward connection and trust Whether you’re brand new to neurodivergent parenting or deep in the trenches of burnout and unschooling, this episode offers language, validation, and practical reframes for families whose children don’t fit traditional molds. CONNECT + RESOURCES Sunita Kapahi Theiss: * Website [https://sunitatheiss.com/] * Low Demand Coaching [https://www.amandadiekman.com/coaching] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/sunitatheiss] * Writing Workshops [https://sunitatheiss.com/resources]   90-Minute School Day™ * Private Coaching [https://90minuteschoolday.com/coaching/] * 90-Minute School Day Training [https://90minuteschoolday.com/guide-training/] * DITL Community [https://90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/] * FREE Learning Translator [https://90minuteschoolday.com/am-i-doing-enough/]

Ep. 60 - Math Anxiety is a Trojan Horse with Dr. Sarah Eason

What if your child's resistance to math has nothing to do with math?   In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Sarah Eason, Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Science at Purdue University, whose research on family math engagement and math anxiety reframes everything we think we know about why kids shut down around numbers.   This episode is for the parent who dreads math time, who carries their own wounds around numbers, and whose kid has decided math is not for them. What Sarah's research reveals is both surprising and deeply relieving.   We talk about: * How math anxiety travels from parent to child without a single word being spoken * What actually counts as math learning that most families are already doing * Why formal instruction may not be doing the heavy lifting we think it is * What predicts long-term math success (it's not worksheets) * How parent beliefs and emotions shape a child's math identity from a very young age * What to do if you feel like you've already gotten it wrong   Sarah's closing invitation: "Let go of what you think math should look like and reclaim it for you and your family."   LINKS + RESOURCES Sarah Eason https://hhs.purdue.edu/directory/sarah-eason/ [https://hhs.purdue.edu/directory/sarah-eason/]   WORK WITH 90-MINUTE SCHOOL DAY Training https://90minuteschoolday.com/guide-training/ [https://90minuteschoolday.com/guide-training/]   Day in the Life Community https://90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/ [https://90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/]   Free Learning Translator https://90minuteschoolday.com/am-i-doing-enough/ [https://90minuteschoolday.com/am-i-doing-enough/]

Ep. 59 - Unschooling to University with Judy Arnall

What if the years your child and teen spent playing, exploring, and following curiosity weren't wasted time — but exactly the preparation they needed? Come sit down with Judy Arnall, internationally recognized child-development specialist, bestselling author of Unschooling to University, and mother of five self-directed learners. We talk about what children genuinely need to thrive, why chronic stress is shutting down learning in our kids, and how unschooling can be a legitimate, research-backed path all the way to post-secondary education. You'll learn: * What children and teens actually need for healthy development and how that foundation prepares them for adult life * The central problem with modern education * What self-directed learning looks like in a real, everyday family  * The "three intentional years" concept: why university prep doesn't require 12 years of schooling * The neuroscience of chronic stress and educational burnout and how play and felt safety reopen the capacity to learn * What the research actually says about screens, gaming, and digital communities * How to tell if your urge to "do something" is coming from genuine facilitation (or parent anxiety) * Practical pathways into university and post-secondary for students without a traditional transcript * Real hope for families of neurodivergent children recovering from burnout Whether you're just starting to explore unschooling, deep in the deschooling process, or parenting a teenager who is done with traditional school ... this conversation will meet you right where you are. Resources & Links: * Judy Arnall's book: Unschooling to University  [https://amzn.to/4lJTbRF] * Connect with Judy via her website [https://unschoolingtouniversity.com/] * Read Judy's non-punitive parenting blog [https://judyarnall.com/] * Join the 90-Minute School Day DITL Community invite list  [https://90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/] If this episode resonated with you, share it with a family who needs to hear it. And if you haven't yet ... please leave a review. It helps more families find this show.

Ep. 58 - Unschooling Students with Disabilities with Dr. Gina Riley

What happens when school is not a match for a learner? For many disabled and neurodivergent children and teens, traditional school environments create anxiety, shutdown, and loss of self-trust. In this conversation, we sit down with Dr. Gina Riley, educational psychologist, Associate Professor of Special Education at Hunter College - School of Education (CUNY), researcher, and unschooling parent to unpack the first peer-reviewed study on unschooling students with disabilities. We explore why families of autistic, ADHD, learning disabled, and neurodivergent children are moving away from traditional school and toward self-directed education This episode covers: * Why families leave school (and it’s rarely ideology) * Unschooling as a healing environment * Intrinsic motivation and self-determination * Nervous system safety and learning * How unschooling functions as built-in accommodation * Caregiver fatigue and lack of respite * The need for unschooling-informed doctors, therapists, and educators * Why research matters for advocacy and legitimacy Dr. Riley brings both academic research and lived experience as an unschooling parent to this conversation, offering insight for: ✔ Parents of disabled and neurodivergent children ✔ Pediatricians, therapists, psychologists, occupational therapists ✔ Educators and special education professionals ✔ Anyone rethinking what meaningful learning can look like   Unschooling is not the absence of education.   For some learners, it may be the least restrictive and most developmentally appropriate environment available.   Resources Mentioned * Dr. Riley’s study: Unschooling Students with Disabilities [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/372746502_Unschooling_Students_with_Disabilities] * Learn more about Dr. Riley [https://ginarileyphd.com/about/] * Join Day in the Life Community [https://90minuteschoolday.com/day-in-the-life/] * Learn more about the 90-Minute School Day [https://90minuteschoolday.com/]   Share This Episode If this conversation gave you language you’ve been needing: * Send it to the friend who needs to hear this. * Send it to your co-parent. * Send it to a concerned family member. * Send it to your child’s care team. * Send it to an educator who wants to understand.   Research and advocacy matter. And conversations like this move us toward educational models that respect both learning and humanity.