Patsy: Found by DNA, Silenced by Family

Patsy: Found by DNA, Silenced by Family

Patsy Brooks-Tallant is a member of the Baby Scoop Era, the mid-20th-century period when societal pressures often forced unmarried or young mothers to surrender their infants for adoption. Born to a 21-year-old mother already raising four children, Patsy’s pregnancy stemmed from an affair while the mother’s military husband was overseas. To this day—over 63 years later—he believes Patsy is merely a family friend, unaware she is his wife’s biological daughter and his stepchild. The couple remains married. Unable to keep her child, Patsy’s birth mother arranged a private adoption through a family connection. Her own mother knew an older couple, aged 44 and 46, desperate for a child after the adoptive mother had lost her only biological infant. Bypassing formal agencies, the adoption was facilitated by a county judge, social worker, and private attorney who falsified documents. The adoptive parents were present at the birth and took Patsy home shortly after. Raised in a loving, stable home, Patsy always knew she was adopted. Three years later, the same family adopted her biological cousin, further linking the families. From her teens, Patsy pursued genealogy relentlessly. In high school, she located her birth mother but delayed contact. Their reunion revealed five half-siblings—four older, one younger—none aware of Patsy’s existence, per her mother’s request for secrecy. Years later, DNA testing uncovered her biological father’s identity and seven additional paternal half-siblings. Tragically, he had passed away. Patsy has since met all her paternal siblings and maintains a close relationship with one younger maternal half-brother and his children. Ties with most maternal siblings remain distant to protect their mother’s secret. Professionally, Patsy enjoyed a 49-year career as a Master Pet Stylist, owning mobile grooming units and teaching nationally and internationally. Now, her greatest passion is adoptee rights and DNA research. She advocates for unrestricted access to original birth records, refusing to uphold past secrecy. Married 42 years to her high school sweetheart, Patsy has three children and seven grandchildren. Despite a fulfilling life, she feels the primal loss of adoption daily. Forming sibling bonds in one’s fifties and sixties - without shared childhoods - is difficult. Having lost her adoptive parents at ages 15 and 22, Patsy navigated these complexities largely alone. For her, adoptee identity remains a lifelong reality. Season 12 Book: The Adoption Para [https://www.talexblum.com/]dox by Jean Kelly Widner [https://adoptionparadox.com/] Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/live-podcast-event-with-atmom-friends-in-minneapolis-sept-11th-13th-tickets-1991597492713] Sign up to be part of our mailing list! [https://www.adoptionthemakingofme.com/] Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE [https://patreon.com/themakingofmepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink] community. The next meeting will be Saturday, July 11th, at 1 pm ET. RESOURCES for Adoptees: Adoptees Connect [https://adopteesconnect.com/] Adoptee Mentoring Society [https://www.adopteementorship.org/] Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law [https://adopteerightslaw.com/] Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/firesideadoptees/] Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement [https://www.lizdebetta.com/] Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate [https://mosesfarrow.com/] National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988. Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted [https://kristalparke.net/] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Susan: A Story Rooted in Heritage

A lifelong resident of Minneapolis, Minnesota, Susan "Cricket" Fedorko (Grand Portage Band of Chippewa - Oijbwe) has contributed her writing to four anthologies on the subject of being adopted and has done numerous media interviews. Her Chippewa - Oijbwe, birthmother, a famous supermodel, died in 1997, a short distance from Susan's home. Suzie always knew she was adopted out at the early age of 11 months. She discovers at the age of 40 who her biological family is. Suzie discovers her birth mother is the first native american supermodel "Cathee Dahmen". Suzie is currently 64 and has been reunited with her biological birth family for 24 years. Season 12 Book: The Adoption Para [https://www.talexblum.com/]dox by Jean Kelly Widner [https://adoptionparadox.com/] Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/live-podcast-event-with-atmom-friends-in-minneapolis-sept-11th-13th-tickets-1991597492713] Sign up to be part of our mailing list! [https://www.adoptionthemakingofme.com/] Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE [https://patreon.com/themakingofmepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink] community. The next meeting will be Saturday, July 11th, at 1 pm ET. RESOURCES for Adoptees: Adoptees Connect [https://adopteesconnect.com/] Adoptee Mentoring Society [https://www.adopteementorship.org/] Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law [https://adopteerightslaw.com/] Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/firesideadoptees/] Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement [https://www.lizdebetta.com/] Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate [https://mosesfarrow.com/] National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988. Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted [https://kristalparke.net/] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jackson: Between Two Worlds

Jackson TerKeurst is an author, speaker, and adoptee originally from Liberia, West Africa. At seven years old, he was separated from his family during the Liberian civil war and spent years living in an orphanage. At age 15, Jackson came to the United States as part of the African Children’s Choir, where his journey eventually led to his adoption by an American family. Despite arriving with limited formal education, he defied the odds and became the first person in his family line to graduate from college. Today, Jackson shares his remarkable story to inspire hope, resilience, and purpose in others. Drawing from his experiences of loss, displacement, adoption, and personal transformation, he speaks on identity, belonging, faith, and overcoming adversity. He is the author of The Only Way Forward Is Back and lives in Tennessee with his wife, Amanda, and their children. Season 12 Book: The Adoption Para [https://www.talexblum.com/]dox by Jean Kelly Widner [https://adoptionparadox.com/] Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/live-podcast-event-with-atmom-friends-in-minneapolis-sept-11th-13th-tickets-1991597492713] Sign up to be part of our mailing list! [https://www.adoptionthemakingofme.com/] Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE [https://patreon.com/themakingofmepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink] community. The next meeting will be Saturday, July 11th, at 1 pm ET. RESOURCES for Adoptees: Adoptees Connect [https://adopteesconnect.com/] Adoptee Mentoring Society [https://www.adopteementorship.org/] Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law [https://adopteerightslaw.com/] Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/firesideadoptees/] Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement [https://www.lizdebetta.com/] Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate [https://mosesfarrow.com/] National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988. Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted [https://kristalparke.net/] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Anne-Grete: The Long Journey Home

Although born and adopted in London in 1967, Anne-Grete is a Norwegian adoptee. Her birth mother happened to be there when she gave birth, and her adoptive dad was stationed at the Norwegian Embassy at the time. She had two siblings, both adopted from different cities in Norway. After moving around the world with her family, she came back to Norway for good when she was 16. After finishing her studies and moving between jobs and homes several times, she finally settled in Mandal with her husband and their cat. Anne-Grete was a "happy adoptee" until she reached her fifties, and had always associated her lack of roots and connection with her nomadic life in the foreign service. After being reunited with her birth mother for nine years in her twenties and early thirties, the reunion ended. It took 24 years and a better understanding of the consequences of adoption for her to try to reconnect with her. At the same time, she finally felt the need to find the other half and has connected with siblings on her birth father's side. She is still a secret in her biological family, but hopes that will change over time. Finding the organization Adopterte played a large part in her coming out of the fog, and after being a member for two years, she was elected to the board. Adopterte is a non-profit organization working to raise awareness about the repercussions of adoption and spread information about the history and practice of adoption in Norway. They arrange meetups two to three times a year and also have a closed Facebook group where members can share their experiences and find adoptees in their area. Their website is www.adopterte.no [http://www.adopterte.no/] Anne-Grete on YouTube [https://youtu.be/tCO36fLiJK8] Season 12 Book: The Adoption Para [https://www.talexblum.com/]dox by Jean Kelly Widner [https://adoptionparadox.com/] Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/live-podcast-event-with-atmom-friends-in-minneapolis-sept-11th-13th-tickets-1991597492713] Sign up to be part of our mailing list! [https://www.adoptionthemakingofme.com/] Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE [https://patreon.com/themakingofmepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink] community. The next meeting will be Saturday, July 11th, at 1 pm ET. RESOURCES for Adoptees: Adoptees Connect [https://adopteesconnect.com/] Adoptee Mentoring Society [https://www.adopteementorship.org/] Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law [https://adopteerightslaw.com/] Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/firesideadoptees/] Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement [https://www.lizdebetta.com/] Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate [https://mosesfarrow.com/] National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988. Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted [https://kristalparke.net/] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Samantha: Reunion, Loss, and Self-Acceptance

Samantha (Sam) Shields was born in San Francisco in 1970 and adopted from foster care as an infant. She grew up in nearby Napa knowing she was adopted, and provided many of the same platitudes as a lot of other adopted people: She wanted you to have a better life. She did what was best for you because she loved you. But Sam was certain something was wrong with her. Why else had she been placed for adoption? Failure to bond with her adoptive mom and her adoptive dad's death when she was seven meant that Sam often fantasized about meeting her original mom. After a years-long search, Sam finally located her original mom in 1997 at the age of twenty-seven and was reunited with her until her mother's death in 2020. The relationship was both challenging and rewarding. Both she and her original mom carried the shame of what happened, making self-acceptance hard. Studies back this up: many adoption reunions break down within the first few years after making contact, and after eight years nearly half of those in an adoption reunion have abandoned the relationship altogether. Ultimately, what allowed Sam to find acceptance in herself was by facing her father, the man who had sexually violated her mother. Sam is currently at work on a memoir about her experience of reuniting with her original mother. Season 12 Book: The Adoption Para [https://www.talexblum.com/]dox by Jean Kelly Widner [https://adoptionparadox.com/] Sign up to be part of our mailing list! [https://www.adoptionthemakingofme.com/] Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE [https://patreon.com/themakingofmepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink] community. The next meeting will be Saturday, July 11th, at 1 pm ET. RESOURCES for Adoptees: Adoptees Connect [https://adopteesconnect.com/] Adoptee Mentoring Society [https://www.adopteementorship.org/] Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law [https://adopteerightslaw.com/] Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/firesideadoptees/] Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement [https://www.lizdebetta.com/] Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate [https://mosesfarrow.com/] National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988. Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted [https://kristalparke.net/] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.