The Kingdom of Heaven Is Like a New York Deli - Proper 12A (July 26, 2026)

The Kingdom of Heaven Is Like a New York Deli - Proper 12A (July 26, 2026)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2281321/fan_mail/new] The Kingdom of Heaven Is Like a New York Deli Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible pairs Pittsburgh standup comedians with Lutheran pastors to read the week's lectionary gospel cold, with no preparation and no safety net. This week's a Short Take — no warm-up banter, just our Resident Comic Theologians Erick Williams (@comicaledubs), Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and the text. Jesus fires off five parables in a row, asks if the disciples understood, and they lie and say yes. This episode is our attempt at the honest answer — mustard shrubs, laundered treasure, and a pastrami sandwich all get pressed into service. Expect: * A cold open that throws out somebody's back before the Bible even shows up * The kingdom of heaven compared to frozen pizza deals, food TV, and a very specific New York sandwich * A serious detour into buried treasure, stolen property, and what grace has to do with either * Sourdough starters as an unplanned theology of things you don't fully control > "By the way, is the kingdom of heaven just a New York City deli?" --- Matthew 13:31–33, 44–52 (NRSVue) [31] He put before them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; [32] it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.” [33] He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.” [44] “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and reburied; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. [45] “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; [46] on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it. [47] “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; [48] when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. [49] So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous [50] and throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. [51] “Have you understood all this?” They answered, “Yes.” [52] And he said to them, “Therefore every scribe who has become a disciple in the kingdom of heaven is like the master of a household who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.” Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer. Join the community! Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com [//cptbpod@gmail.com]. Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms. More at linktr.ee/cptbpod [https://linktr.ee/cptbpod] Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster [https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster] Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license [https://filmmusic.io/standard-license] Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

An Enemy Has Done This! - Proper 11A (July 19, 2026)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2281321/fan_mail/new] Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible pairs Pittsburgh-area standup comedians with ELCA pastors to dig into the week's Revised Common Lectionary gospel text — the format is right there in the name. This week, we sit down with comedians Josh Rittenour (@ritkeepstalking) and Seth Queen (@sethqueen_comedy) to wrestle with Jesus' Parable of the Weeds — the one where an enemy sneaks into a farmer's field under cover of night and sows weeds among the wheat, and the boss's answer to "what happened here?" becomes the most melodramatic line in the gospels. Expect: * A cold open so telenovela-coded it demanded its own thumbnail * A deep dive on the Greek word behind "slave" in the parable, and why it's more complicated than a straight swap to "servant" * A tangent on prayer as a message in a bottle (and why "please God, don't let me have explosive diarrhea" might be a legitimate prayer) * The HOA-and-bamboo modern retelling of the parable, which may be funnier than the original * Josh accidentally producing the episode's best bumper sticker * A genuinely difficult question for two Lutheran pastors: how do you preach "the weeds are the children of the evil one" when your whole theology runs on grace? --- Matthew 13:24–30, 36–43 (NRSVue) [24] He put before them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field, [25] but while everybody was asleep an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and then went away. [26] So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. [27] And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?’ [28] He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The slaves said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ [29] But he replied, ‘No, for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. [30] Let both of them grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.’ ” [36] Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples approached him, saying, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.” [37] He answered, “The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; [38] the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom; the weeds are the children of the evil one, [39] and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are angels. [40] Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. [41] The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, [42] and they will throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. [43] Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears listen! Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer. Join the community! Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com [//cptbpod@gmail.com]. Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms. More at linktr.ee/cptbpod [https://linktr.ee/cptbpod] Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster [https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster] Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license [https://filmmusic.io/standard-license] Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Good Soil. Unexpected Places - Proper 10A (July 12, 2026)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2281321/fan_mail/new] Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible pairs Pittsburgh standup comedians with two ELCA pastors to talk about the week's gospel text — badly, then well. Bob and Eric get back to weekly rhythm with resident comic theologians Abby Evans and Erick Williams, diving straight into Matthew 13's Parable of the Sower — no guest banter, straight to scripture. Expect: * A pastor-approved case for becoming mushroom manure when you die * Jesus explaining his own parable (and what that says about comedians who explain their jokes) * Eric's pivot: it's not that bad soil beats the odds — it's that good soil shows up where you don't expect it * A detour through the fall of Jerusalem and what "profligate" means "Even the challenging, difficult soil can be made better." --- Matthew 13:1–9, 18-23 (NRSVue) [1] That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. [2] Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. [3] And he told them many things in parables, saying: “Listen! A sower went out to sow. [4] And as he sowed, some seeds fell on a path, and the birds came and ate them up. [5] Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. [6] But when the sun rose, they were scorched, and since they had no root, they withered away. [7] Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. [8] Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. [9] If you have ears, hear!” [18] “Hear, then, the parable of the sower. [19] When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. [20] As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, [21] yet such a person has no root but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away. [22] As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of this age and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. [23] But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer. Join the community! Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com [//cptbpod@gmail.com]. Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms. More at linktr.ee/cptbpod [https://linktr.ee/cptbpod] Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster [https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster] Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license [https://filmmusic.io/standard-license] Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

DM Jesus - Proper 9A (July 5, 2026)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2281321/fan_mail/new] Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible pairs Pittsburgh standup comedians with pastors to dig into the week's gospel text — no prep, no script, just an undefended first read of scripture and whatever happens when a comedian's in the room for it. Brian Bennett and Ryan Cobert are back for round two, and this time the tabletop-gaming frame stops being a fun parallel and starts doing real theological work. Turns out running a campaign and shepherding a congregation have more in common than either job posting admits. Expect: * Children jumping straight into the game in the marketplace — and what that says about who actually "gets" the invitation in Matthew 11 * DMing reframed as pastoral improvisation: collaborative storytelling instead of scripted outcomes * Ryan on vulnerability, hag villains, and why funerals might be the deepest form of play there is * Eric's case for "type 2 fun" — the kind of suffering that's only fun in retrospect — as a lens on the cross * The debut of Bobbert, a halfling barbarian built entirely on randomly rolled dice (he licks things) Tangents include: a Star Trek movie ranking nobody can agree on, the ethics of wearing the same shirt twice on camera, and a cold open that may end up being more memorable than the episode itself. 👉"If Jesus is inviting and the people are jumping right in and playing, the children get it." --- Matthew 11:16–19, 25–30 (NRSVue) [16] “But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another, [17] ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn.’ [18] “For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; [19] the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.” [25] At that time Jesus said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; [26] yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. [27] All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. [28] “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer. Join the community! Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com [//cptbpod@gmail.com]. Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms. More at linktr.ee/cptbpod [https://linktr.ee/cptbpod] Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster [https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster] Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license [https://filmmusic.io/standard-license] Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

CPTB Special: Library After Dark Comedy Showcase (Part 2)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2281321/fan_mail/new] A note to our audience: We're taking a week off from our normal mix of comedy and Bible study. We'll jump back into the readings next week. In the meanwhile, we're pleased to present... CPTB Special: Library After Dark Comedy Showcase (Part 2) A pastor walks into a library and tells jokes. The books didn't leave. This special episode takes you inside the room for Library After Dark, CPTB's debut comedy showcase at the Monroeville Public Library — an evening of standup that felt right at home among the stacks. * Erick Williams lets his Amish flag fly and waxes poetic about his love of beer. * Jared Helfer leads with an unforgettable impression and receives the longest ovation of the night. Don't miss two of Pittsburgh's funniest guys, bringing their act to the library crowd! More sets from the Library After Dark showcase are coming. The full show — including headliner Georgia Warder — will be released as a complete special. Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer. Join the community! Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com [//cptbpod@gmail.com]. Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms. More at linktr.ee/cptbpod [https://linktr.ee/cptbpod] Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster [https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster] Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license [https://filmmusic.io/standard-license] Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.