Dan & Can Podcast 178: Obey God and Life Will Be Perfect? Our Story Says Otherwise

Dan & Can Podcast 178: Obey God and Life Will Be Perfect? Our Story Says Otherwise

In this episode of Dan & Can, we wrap up our conversation about America's falling birth rates by examining one of the messages many evangelical women have heard for generations: Get married young. Have babies young. Stay home. Trust God. Everything else will work itself out. We share our own story of following that path, believing we were honoring God by delaying careers, living on one income, and raising children while we were still very young ourselves. Thirty years later, we're still working to recover financially from choices we made because we sincerely believed they were God's will. We also react to two viral clips: • A fundamentalist preacher encouraging women to prioritize motherhood over careers• A Mormon woman comparing obedience to following a recipe that guarantees a perfect outcome But life doesn't work like a recipe. Life is messy.People suffer.Miscarriages happen.Financial hardship happens.Good people struggle while others seem to prosper. When religion promises certainty in an uncertain world, many women end up blaming themselves when life inevitably becomes complicated. In this episode we discuss: • Biblical womanhood and traditional gender roles• Why young motherhood isn't the right path for everyone• Financial consequences of single-income families• Purity culture and obedience• The impossible standards placed on women• Why black-and-white thinking fails in a nuanced world• How deconstruction helped us embrace uncertainty and complexity• Why following a "recipe" for life doesn't guarantee happiness If you're rebuilding your life after evangelical Christianity, we hope this conversation reminds you that you were never failing—you were trying to live inside an impossible system. Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com] Subscribe for more candid conversations about culture, deconstruction, relationships, healing, psychology, and rebuilding life with intention. #Exvangelical #Deconstruction #EvangelicalChristianity #PurityCulture #BiblicalWomanhood #ReligiousTrauma #LifeAfterReligion #ChristianNationalism #Motherhood #WomenLeavingChurch #FaithDeconstruction #ReligiousDeconstruction #DanAndCan #MarriageAndFaith #HealingAfterReligion Where have you obeyed and not gotten the results promised? Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]

Candid Conversations 166: Is This Really Love? Responding to a Christian Comment About LGBTQ People

In this episode of Candid Conversations, we respond to a comment left on one of our recent videos about the meaning of the rainbow. The commenter argued that LGBTQ people are unhappy because they are living outside of God's design and that Christians have a responsibility to tell them their identity and relationships are sinful—even if doing so causes offense. That led us into a deeper discussion: What does love actually look like? Is telling someone they are fundamentally broken an act of compassion—or an act of certainty that assumes we fully understand the mind of God? We explore questions that shaped our own deconstruction from evangelical Christianity: • Why did Jesus never directly address LGBTQ relationships?• Why do so many Christians speak with certainty about issues Jesus remained silent on?• Wouldn’t even the evangelical god consider arrogance a more egregious “sin” than being gay?• Why are LGBTQ people statistically more likely to experience depression and self-harm?• Could rejection, shame, and social exclusion play a significant role?• Christians manufacture their own persecution while LGBTQIA+ truly experience it simply by existing. While this comment may have riled us up a bit, we think it could be used to encourage more discussions concerning why many people leaving evangelical Christianity are rediscovering a faith rooted more in compassion than condemnation. Whether you agree with us or not, our hope is that this conversation encourages curiosity, empathy, and a willingness to see one another as fully human. 🎙️ Subscribe for more candid conversations about healing, nervous system regulation, deconstruction, psychology, relationships, subconscious programming, and reclaiming your authentic self. Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com]#Exvangelical#Deconstruction#LGBTQ#FaithDeconstruction#EvangelicalChristianity#ReligiousTrauma#ProgressiveChristianity#LoveIsLove#ChristianNationalism#LifeAfterReligion#Inclusion#CandidConversations#ReligiousHealing#JesusAndLove#HealingAfterReligion Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]

Dan & Can Podcast 177: "Underbabied" America? The Real Reason They're Worried About Population Decline

In this episode of Dan & Can, we continue our conversation about declining birth rates and the growing panic surrounding what some are calling an "underbabied" America. We explore why younger generations are waiting longer to have children, and whether that's actually a problem—or simply a reflection of changing priorities, economic realities, and a desire to create more stable homes before starting families. We also discuss: * Why politicians and religious leaders seem so concerned about falling birth rates * The connection between population growth, economics, and political power * Why many young adults are delaying parenthood * The difference between being "pro-birth" and being truly "pro-life" * Whether children are viewed as individuals to nurture or future workers and consumers to sustain systems * How evangelical Christianity has historically encouraged large families * Why quality of life may matter more than population quantity * How deconstruction changed our perspective on marriage, parenting, and family planning As former evangelicals, we're asking questions we never felt free to ask before: Who benefits from population growth? Who bears the cost? And what happens when people choose a different path? Join us for another honest conversation about life, faith, culture, and what happens after leaving evangelical Christianity. New episodes every week. Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com] #deconstruction #exvangelical #populationdecline #birthrates #dandcan  Subscribe for more candid conversations about culture, deconstruction, relationships, healing, psychology, and rebuilding life with intention. #Exvangelical #Deconstruction #PopulationDecline #BirthRates #LifeAfterReligion #EvangelicalChristianity #ReligiousTrauma #ChristianNationalism #FamilyPlanning #Millennials #GenZ #Parenting #CulturalCommentary #DanAndCan #Podcast  What are your thoughts? Why do Xian Nationalist want so many children? Share your opinion in the comments. Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]

Candid Conversations 165: The Rainbow: God's Judgment or Radical Inclusion?

Description: In this episode of Candid Conversations, we react to a video of a father telling his children that the rainbow belongs to God and that others are trying to steal its meaning. That simple moment sparked a much bigger conversation. What does the rainbow actually represent? In the biblical story of Noah, the rainbow is God's promise that He will never flood the earth again after destroying nearly every living creature. It is a symbol that follows one of the most devastating stories in Scripture. Meanwhile, the LGBTQ+ community has embraced the rainbow as a symbol of diversity, acceptance, love, and belonging. The contrast raises an interesting question: Which message reflects the heart of Jesus more closely? We also discuss why many Christians seem unbothered by rainbows on cereal boxes, toys, clothing, and advertisements, yet become deeply upset when the same symbol represents LGBTQ+ inclusion. Is the issue really the rainbow—or is it discomfort with the people who carry it? In this episode we explore: • The biblical meaning of the rainbow after Noah's flood• The modern meaning of the Pride flag• Fear, identity, and religious conditioning• Christian nationalism versus the teachings of Jesus• Deconstruction and learning to see familiar stories differently Ultimately, we believe each person gets to decide what the rainbow means to them. We simply invite you to look at both stories and ask which one leads to greater love. 🎙️ Subscribe for more candid conversations about healing, nervous system regulation, deconstruction, psychology, relationships, subconscious programming, and reclaiming your authentic self. Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com]#Exvangelical#Deconstruction#LGBTQ#Pride#Rainbow#EvangelicalChristianity#LifeAfterReligion#FaithDeconstruction#ReligiousTrauma#ChristianNationalism#LoveIsLove#ProgressiveChristianity#CandidConversations#InclusionMatters#HealingAfterReligionWhat does the rainbow represent to you? Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]

Dan & Can Podcast 176: Population Decline, Immigration & Christianity’s Push for Bigger Families

In this episode of Dan & Can Podcast, we continue last week’s conversation about culture, survival, family systems, and the pressures shaping modern life — and we’ll continue exploring this topic again next week because there’s simply too much to unpack in one episode. After hearing comments from Mehmet Oz about America’s declining birth rate and shrinking population growth, we started asking deeper questions: Why are people having fewer children? Is the economy really built for large families anymore? Why are young couples being encouraged to start families before they’re financially or emotionally prepared? And why is immigration so often ignored as a practical solution to workforce shortages and population decline? As parents who followed the Christian cultural expectation to marry young and have multiple children, we share our personal experience of loving our children deeply while also acknowledging the very real financial strain and emotional pressure that came with it. We discuss how many evangelical communities encourage people — often young, financially unstable, and emotionally unprepared — to have more children while simultaneously resisting immigration, even though immigration could help stabilize workforce and population concerns in practical ways. This episode explores: * declining birth rates in America * immigration and workforce growth * evangelical family culture * financial stress in large families * parenting and economic reality * religious pressure around reproduction * generational shifts in marriage and family planning * balancing love for family with honesty about struggle Support us:  https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan [https://buymeacoffee.com/danandcan]Work with Candace (Hypnotherapy & Subconscious Reprogramming after leaving toxic religion): http://CandidCoachingCo.com [http://candidcoachingco.com] This conversation is nuanced, personal, and honest. We adore our children and would never trade them for the world — but we also believe people deserve truthful conversations about the emotional, financial, and societal realities of raising families.If you’ve ever questioned the pressure to “just trust God” financially, struggled raising kids in today’s economy, or wondered why fewer people want children, this conversation may resonate with you.🎙️ Subscribe for more candid conversations about culture, deconstruction, relationships, healing, psychology, and rebuilding life with intention.Next week, we’ll continue diving deeper into these themes and the systems influencing how people build families, communities, and identities. #DanAndCan #PopulationDecline #BirthRateCrisis #Millennials #GenZ #Immigration #ChristianCulture #Evangelicalism #Deconstruction #ParentingStruggles #LargeFamilies #FinancialStress #MarriageAndFamily #EconomicReality #WorkforceShortage #CandidConversations #ReligiousTrauma #CulturalPressure #FamilyPlanning #PodcastDiscussion   What are your thoughts? Should we have more children than we can afford or are ready for? Share your opinion in the comments. Email us: Candace@DanandCan.com [Candace@DanandCan.com] Website: ⁠https://danandcan.com/⁠ [https://danandcan.com/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwo81prdWtTl29X5ffC73w] Help w/Deconstruction: https://CandidCoachingCo.com [https://candidcoachingco.com]