Don’t Tell the Kids… We Said We’d Never Do That

Don’t Tell the Kids… We Said We’d Never Do That

Before kids, we had a long list of things we’d never do — screens at dinner, leashes at the airport, Gatorade at baseball. Then we became moms. This week, Mal and Siobhan get honest about the quiet judgments we all make (and receive), from impatient dads on airplanes to the kindergartner with a brand-new iPhone. They dig into why we over-parent when strangers are watching, how moms and dads parent differently — and why that’s actually a good thing — and the humbling reality that no two kids ever really get “the same parents.” Plus: a dance recital fire drill that proves even the most on-it moms drop the ball sometimes. Grab your coffee, hide in your car, and give yourself some grace.

Don't Tell the Kids… I Love You, But You're Being a Dick (Regretful parenting, part 2)

We're circling back to regretful parenting — but this time we actually did our homework. After friends kept telling us how huge this topic is on Reddit, we dove into the threads where parents say the things no one says out loud: the loss of self, the relentlessness, the boredom, the guilt, and the love that runs underneath all of it. We get honest about grieving the person you were before kids, why motherhood looks nothing like the movies, the intrusive fears about your kids getting hurt, and the very real difference between a ten-hour work shift and a full day alone with a toddler. We talk about parenting kids who are nothing like you, the value of a stay-at-home mom's invisible labor, the "village" we don't have anymore, and why needing a break doesn't make you a bad mom — it makes you a better one. Plus: the extension-cord baby-monitor contraption, the hospital stay that felt like a spa vacation, and the closing truth we can all live by — you can think your kid (or your husband) is being a total dick and still love the absolute hell out of them. No advice. Just honest conversation, on and off the mic.

Don't tell the kids... some parents regret parenthood

Don't tell the kids... but we stumbled onto something this week that we couldn't stop thinking about. There are these anonymous groups online — thousands of parents, pouring out the thing nobody says out loud: that sometimes, they regret it. Parenthood. All of it. And our first reaction was, how could you? How could you look at your child and feel that way? But the more we sat with it, the more we realized maybe "regret" is just the word people reach for when they don't have a better one. When you're nursing a baby in a blizzard, collecting firewood alone, wondering how this became your life. When you've shed so much of who you were that you can't quite find her anymore. When everyone keeps telling you to enjoy it because it goes so fast, and you're just trying to make it to bedtime. So we went there. We talked about the having-it-all myth and how nobody can actually do it all. About the loneliness of modern motherhood, and the village we've somehow lost — the one we caught a glimpse of in a Samburu community in Kenya, where no mother is ever truly alone. About sleep training and mom guilt and the quiet grief of disappearing into the role. And about how, even on the hardest days, none of it ever came close to regret. This one got real. Come sit with us. Pour the coffee. We're so glad you're here. 💛

Don't tell the kids... once you know, you can't un-know.

You know that feeling when something in your gut won't quiet down, even when every "expert" in the room is telling you you're overreacting? This week we go there. We start where we always do — somewhere completely random, this time Dirty Dancing and the back rooms where men used to go rent their, ahem, movies — and somehow end up on the stuff that actually keeps us up at night. How different it is to raise kids now that everything is in their pocket. The conversations about porn and Snapchat and AI we never imagined we'd have to have. And then the one that cracked us both open: the day one of our boys had a vaccine reaction, the way a mother just *knows* her child has changed, and what it's like to be told you're wrong by someone who met your kid once. This isn't us telling you what to think. It's just two moms being honest about following our intuition, the books we couldn't put down, and the terrifying, freeing thing that happens once you start asking questions — you can't go back to not knowing. Pour the coffee. We're so glad you're here.

Don't tell the kids... my gut knew before he told me

Okay, this one gets real. Mel and Siobhan start out somewhere lighter — Miami rain, cycle phases, sensual Sundays, and whether scheduling intimacy actually ruins the magic or just keeps it alive (jury's still out). And then Siobhan brings the question she came with: when you stay with someone after they cheat, does it ever stop coming up? Mel doesn't dodge. She talks about the years her intuition was telling her something was off even when he wasn't being honest about it, the moment she was folding his laundry and just knew, the times she asked and he denied it, and the ayahuasca journey that finally cracked it open. She talks about the grief of it, the choice to stay, and the years of small emotional deposits that have to happen if you're going to actually rebuild — not just stay together, but rebuild. Siobhan shares from the other side of it too, what it's like to co-parent when the trust is gone and the foundation isn't there. From there it opens up into something a lot of us feel but don't really name — the mental load. The decision fatigue that hits women differently than men, and how our brains seem wired to hold all of it at once: the tuition payment, the field trip form, what's for dinner tomorrow, who needs new cleats. It's not that our partners aren't carrying a load too — Chris definitely is — it's just that it lives in a different part of the brain, organized differently, and that difference is worth talking about. They wrap up with the lighter stuff — what you focus on, you call in (cardinals are everywhere now, apparently), celebrating the wins as loud as we cry over the losses, and Mel possibly becoming a medium. We'll keep you posted on that one. Pour the coffee. We're so glad you're here. 💛