Ep. 266: Is Your Gaydar Broken? Gay Face, Bears, Twinks & Straight Men Who Confuse Us All

Ep. 266: Is Your Gaydar Broken? Gay Face, Bears, Twinks & Straight Men Who Confuse Us All

Is your gaydar working — or is it completely broken? In this week's Gay Bit, Zach Randles-Friedman gets into one of the most timeless (and hilariously relatable) topics in gay culture: how do you actually spot a gay man in the wild? It all started at a bar when a guy walked in and Zach's friend called "straight" — but was he? Zach breaks down the unscientific but very real phenomenon of "gay face," the rise of the metrosexual, gender-neutral fashion, and why the current generation of guys has absolutely destroyed everyone's gaydar. From bears, twinks, and twunks to those screechy queens with approximately 400 extra S's on every word — Zach covers all the gay archetypes with love, humor, and zero apology. He also digs into the big double standard: why gay people can talk about their own community in ways straight people simply cannot. Plus: the classic gay tropes that ARE true (hello, U-Haul lesbians), how small-town gays are a different species, the Tom Ford rose prick cologne rabbit hole, cargo shorts as a sexuality indicator, and the accidental straight guy who spent an entire week drinking at a gay bar while on a business trip. Funny, self-aware, and unapologetically gay — this is The Gay Bit. Subscribe, follow, and leave a review wherever you listen. Find Zach on Instagram @TheRealZachRE. Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 265: From Trad Wife to TikTok Truth-Teller: Hope With Holly on Deconstruction & LGBTQ+ Allyship

She married a man she didn't love because a prophet told her to. She buried her firstborn daughter. She taught abstinence-only education in Ohio while quietly asking questions no one wanted to answer. And now, Hope With Holly has 750,000 followers across platforms — and she's burning down every lie she was handed. In this raw, funny, and deeply moving conversation, Zach sits down with Holly, a former Liberty University-educated pastor, trad wife, and Christian nationalist who spent years inside one of America's most powerful evangelical networks — and found her way out. She opens up about losing her daughter at birth, the grief that cracked her faith wide open, her joyful divorce, buying a 15-acre farm, and building a healing sanctuary for women, LGBTQ+ people, and everyone the church left behind. Holly is the mother of a bisexual daughter and a transgender son — and she'll tell you that her children educated her just as much as she's educated the world. She talks about death threats, dead animals in her driveway, the male DM phenomenon she describes perfectly, and why she still shows up on TikTok every single day. This episode covers religious trauma, nervous system healing, LGBTQ+ allyship, anti-trans legislation, the manufactured fear behind transphobia, homophobic politicians (yes, Lady G gets a mention), and what it really means to love someone unconditionally. 🌿 Find Hope With Holly: Search "Hope With Holly" on any platform or click the link in her bio for retreat info, coaching calls, workbooks, and her free 20-page love letter defending the LGBTQ+ community.  https://www.tiktok.com/@hopewithholly [https://www.tiktok.com/@hopewithholly] https://www.instagram.com/Hope_with_Holly [https://www.instagram.com/Hope_with_Holly] 📲 Follow Zach: @TheRealZachRE on Instagram 🎙️ Subscribe to Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, and YouTube.   If this episode moved you — share it. Pass it to someone who needs it. That's how healing spreads. Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 263: My Gay Journey: From JCPenney Catalogs to Coming Out at Work | This Is Everything

Every gay man has a journey. In this deeply personal episode of This Is Everything, Zach gets real — maybe more real than ever — about the phases of his own gay life, from confused seventh-grader sneaking looks at the JCPenney catalog to fully out, proudly gay podcaster in his 50s. Zach walks through the stages so many LGBTQ+ people will recognize: the denial phase, the "maybe I'm bi" phase, the club kid reinvention, the slow process of finding yourself, and finally — the unapologetically out phase. Along the way, he shares stories about his first time at a drag show (before RuPaul's Drag Race existed), his first gay bar in South Miami, his crew of friends who helped shape who he became, and what it finally felt like to stop hiding at work. He also reflects on how different the journey can be — from friends who knew they were gay as kids, to those who've gone back into the closet, to the uniquely profound journey transgender people navigate on an entirely different level. This one is honest, funny, messy, and deeply human. IN THIS EPISODE: * Growing up with no internet — and a JCPenney catalog as your only "resource" * Going to your first gay bar alone, and why that takes real courage * The "bisexual" phase almost every gay guy goes through * Life as a club kid in 1990s South Beach * Moving through cities — Miami, New York, Atlanta, Switzerland — and how each one shaped Zach's identity * Why the most homophobic people are often hiding something * Coming out at work: what finally made Zach stop caring what people thought * A former best friend who chose the closet over the friendship 🎙️ This Is Everything is the solo monologue segment of Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay, where host Zach Randles gets personal and goes deep on the things that actually matter. 📲 Follow Zach on Instagram: @TheRealZachRE 🌐 everythingandanythingpodcast.com If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it — and leave a review. It helps more people find the show. 🏳️‍🌈 Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep.262: Clayborne Elder on Gilded Age, Little Shop of Horrors & His New Album

Actor, Broadway star, and cabaret performer Clayborne Elder sits down with Zach for one of the most anticipated interviews in Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay history — and yes, Clay was literally on Zach's top five wish list. Clay opens up about playing John Adams on HBO's The Gilded Age, what it felt like when his character was written off the show, and the bittersweet experience of saying goodbye to a cast he describes as feeling like a theater family. He talks about the deliberate choice to cast theater people for the series and why that made all the difference on set — including staying close with co-stars like Cynthia Nixon long after filming wrapped. Growing up the eighth of eight children in a conservative Mormon family in Utah, Clay shares his journey of coming out — and the bond it deepened with his brother Billy, who also happens to be gay. Both were asked to leave BYU for being gay, and Clay reflects on what it means to have had family support in a story that doesn't always end that way for LGBTQ+ people from religious backgrounds. The conversation shifts to Clay's current Broadway run as the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors, his philosophy on keeping live performance fresh every night, and why he actually prefers the stage lights bright enough that he can't see the audience. He talks about what it means to share that experience with his son — who doesn't particularly care that his dad is famous, except when his best friend (who has seen Little Shop five times) nearly lost his mind knowing Clay was playing the dentist. Clay also dives deep into If the Stars Were Mine, his new album rooted in a cabaret show he's been performing for years. He explains the emotional weight behind his version of "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" — a song that as a young gay kid felt like a longing he wasn't sure would ever come true. He and his husband met working in theater 17 years ago, and that context makes the song land differently. The album is available now on streaming platforms and on vinyl (personalized and signed) at clayborneelder.com. Clay also reveals his dream collaborators — Catherine O'Hara and Daniel Levy on the acting side, and Sara Bareilles for a vocal duet — his experience as the bartender on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, his wild DM stories (yes, people want to buy his socks), and a standing campaign Zach is officially launching to get Clay and Daniel Levy on a project together. This one's a full-circle moment — Zach interviewed Clay's brother Billy on this very show two and a half years ago, and now the wish has finally come true. Links mentioned in this episode: * 🎵 If the Stars Were Mine — available on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/album/7AHvBgWQFDg1AcoFrZBje8], Apple Music [https://music.apple.com/us/album/if-the-stars-were-mine/1874091785]& https://www.claybourneelder.com/ [https://www.claybourneelder.com/] * 🎭 Little Shop of Horrors — check listings for current run: https://littleshopnyc.com/ [https://littleshopnyc.com/] * 📸 Follow Clay on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/claybourneelder [https://www.instagram.com/claybourneelder] Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 262: What Happens After You Die? 23 Years of Research on NDEs, Reincarnation & Consciousness

What actually happens when we die — and is there real evidence for it? Researcher and author Brendan Murphy has spent 23 years studying near-death experiences, reincarnation, consciousness, and the nature of reality. In this conversation, we go deep — from NDE case studies that defy every materialist explanation, to how reincarnation actually works across different layers of consciousness, to what simulation theory gets right (and wrong), to why who you are psychologically may determine everything about where you go after death. This one genuinely shifted something for me. I think it'll do the same for you. In this episode: * The book that started it all: The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot * What NDEs actually reveal — and why the "dying brain" explanation completely falls apart * The stunning parallel between a 2008 NDE and a Rudolf Steiner lecture from 1904 * Peak in Darien cases: encountering people in an NDE you didn't know had died * How reincarnation works across different planes of consciousness — and why some souls come back immediately while others go deeper * Why kids who remember past lives often died violently in their previous one * The "oversoul" — a collective identity made up of thousands of lifetimes * What simulation theory gets right, and where it goes off the rails * What happens to someone like Hitler after death (no imposed punishment — but it's not pretty) * Whether knowing all of this actually helps with grief * Are we living in the hardest reality available — and can we incarnate on other planets? * Why Brendan says everything he does is preparation for his own death Connect with Brendan Murphy: Reverse Engineering the Afterlife — Pre-order: https://brendandmurphy.com/pre-order/reverse-engineering-the-afterlife [https://brendandmurphy.com/pre-order/reverse-engineering-the-afterlife] The Grand Illusion: A Synthesis of Science and Spirituality — Book 1: https://brendandmurphy.com/books/the-grand-illusion [https://brendandmurphy.com/books/the-grand-illusion] Regenetics Method facilitation with Brendan: https://www.evolveyourself.live [https://www.evolveyourself.live/] Subscribe, rate, and review — it genuinely helps more people find the show. And if this episode hit differently, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 🎙️ Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Amazon Music, and iHeartRadio. 🌐 everythingandanythingpodcast.com 📸 Instagram: @TheRealZachRE Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.