How to Optimize Your Cult

How to Optimize Your Garden

Two geniuses discuss what we can improve in the modern garden. And the answer? Is looking backwards. But also forwards as well. You see, we must learn lessons everywhere we can. Come, gentle listener, and optimize garden. It's just been so long. I'm sorry y'all. That's on me. This is Griffin. You see, I am a filmmaker and I was busy making a short film. I have three of these fuckers in the can and I just keep making more. Eventually someone will screen one of them in a festival, right? Christ. Email us if you want to see one of the films. You can only pick one: Film 1, Film2, or Film 3

How to Optimize Trash

Refuse. Rubbish. Waste. There are many names for one of the most incredible things human beings create. Trash is in the crosshairs this week. Take out your notepads as Tom and Griffin educate you about how trash can be better.

How to Optimize Your Cult

Have a cult? Thinking of starting one? This is the episode. you should listen to in order to make it hugely successful and to change the world. Welcome to the Family, the Army of Really Important Thinking.

How Can We Optimize Hats?

Two genius podcasters finally face the ultimate question: hats, where did they go wrong? And, where can they go right?

Why the Past Was Objectively Better but Why We’re Also Excited for the Future

Things used to be great. We can all agree. And in the future they will be better. But right now? Well, join Tom and Griffin as they discuss why right now sucks absolute ass and other times ripped/will rip.