S1E5: The Half-Blood Prophet

S2E1: All The President’s Men

This is a somber day. Please celebrate it with me as I describe the president’s dick as accurately as possible using the forensic descriptions of his phallus pieced together from chapters of the books of Michael Wolff, Omarosa Manigault, and Bob Woodward, respectively. This story was written and performed live for Erotic Fan Fiction: The Game Show as a part of Fearless Comedy Presents at the Phoenix Theater in Minneapolis, MN on May 26. Please consider this description a content warning, because this is rough.

S1E6: Garfield Saves Christmas!

Happy holidays, good storians. We will be returning in the new year with more good stories, but for now, please fill your nog mugs with a hot cup of this very special Christmas program. This is very good for playing to the entire family, and showing children who enjoy cats and Santa. FAIR WARNING: the words ‘stupid, ass, fuck, dick, and Jesus’ each appear once in this show, so depending on how you’re raising your kids, you might want to find another holiday tradition. Probably not, though. The beautiful Christmas music is thanks to Kevin McLeod, who composed “Wishes (Background).” You can find this and other of his work here:http://incompetech.com/ [http://incompetech.com/]

S1E5: The Half-Blood Prophet

Renowned science fiction novelist T. Aaron Cisco brings some professional gravitas to the show, and finally shows Donavon a thing or two about writing good stories. Captain Sisko teams up with Neville Longbottom of Harry Potter fame, and learns how to use his magical powers, which is definitely not science! But oh no! Will a crazy Star Trek thing happen to the quirky, British world of magic? Probably. Story begins at 37’12”. Required themes: Benjamin Sisko, Neville Longbottom, Moon Base Hogwarts, robust adult education programs, SCIENCE, Captain Lorca’s true identity, tens of thousands of dead owls. Buy Mr. Cisco’s books here: https://www.amazon.com/Dragon-Variation-T-Cisco-ebook/dp/B072KLHD3P [https://www.amazon.com/Dragon-Variation-T-Cisco-ebook/dp/B072KLHD3P] https://www.amazon.com/Teleportality-T-Cisco-ebook/dp/B01IYIDW9A [https://www.amazon.com/Teleportality-T-Cisco-ebook/dp/B01IYIDW9A] And like his social media thing here: https://www.facebook.com/TeleportalityNovel/ [https://www.facebook.com/TeleportalityNovel/]

S1E4: A Gift of Love

Warning: Contains tree sex. I’m sorry, everyone. Do not be alarmed. I have sneaked into each of your podcast devices and deleted the weird internet show about fan fiction you have been subscribing to, replacing it with a different weird internet show about fan fiction. Tell all your friends that you already told about the Lasagnacast but who haven’t actually downloaded it yet that you fucked up and the name is different now. Please listen to the full episode for announcements. It’s not like there will be a bonus show or anything. I definitely just talk about podcasts for 12 minutes. Go listen now.

S1E3: Deep Space Murder

Donavon brings in famed punster Art Allen to write a story about Murder She Wrote and Star Trek, and it gets way too real. When Captain Sisko is sent by the Prophets to the year 1995 to solve a murder, who the fuck do you think is going to be there to help him out? Story begins at 36’54”. Required themes: Captain Sisko, Jessica Fletcher, Gul Dukat, ghost in the butt, cultural insensitivity to the wormhole aliens, building a house no matter what, something that gums up the plumbing, baseball bat to the tummy, Robby Fucking Lasagna.