HIV: The Morning After
Laurence Close: Glamour, Guilt, Genetics
Beskrivelse
A fashion industry hair and makeup artist who tested positive for HIV in 1985 and went three decades without medication - his body carrying a rare genetic mutation that science wouldn't fully explain for years. SUMMARY Laurence Close grew up in Zambia, where being gay carried a prison sentence. He came to London in 1983, fell for a diplomat twenty years older, and trained as a hair and makeup artist while shuttling to Paris on weekends. When a bag from Yves Saint Laurent Beauté under the boyfriend's bed confirmed the affair, Laurence went to Gower Street for a test. He already knew. The positive result arrived in 1985, five weeks late because of back-to-back photoshoots abroad. His first thought was not how to live but when to die - timed to look like an accidental overdose, because in his parents' farming community, that would be easier to explain than AIDS. A woman called Eunice, a Nigerian lesbian who had acquired HIV through rape, changed his mind in a waiting room at St Mary's Paddington by complimenting his coat. For 30 years, Laurence's body did something his doctors couldn't explain. His viral load stayed undetectable and his CD4 count remained abnormally high - without a single day of medication. He carried a CCR5-Delta 32 gene mutation, inherited from one parent, that interfered with the virus's ability to enter his cells. Meanwhile, he built a career doing hair and makeup for Britney Spears, Tyra Banks, Annie Lennox, and Joan Collins, never blending foundation on the back of his hand again. He felt toxic. He chose partners who were, in his words, incredibly fucked up - people he couldn't shortchange by being with them. When U=U reached him in 2016, the loaded gun he'd carried for three decades was finally empty. He married a Swedish man he'd spoken to for two years without seeing a photograph. This podcast is his public disclosure. KEY MOMENTS * [01:50] Zambia, boarding school, and sitting too close - growing up where homosexuality carries 14 years in prison, and the constant self-policing of gesture and gaze * [05:08] London, 1983 - hairdressing school in Hammersmith, nights at Taboo and the Hippodrome, and a diplomat who showed him that gay men could go to the opera * [10:53] The bag under the bed - discovering the affair in Paris, blaming himself, and deciding to get tested * [16:21] The result, the calm, the calculation - receiving a positive diagnosis at 25 and planning suicide with the detachment of choosing when to swap summer tyres for winter * [19:49] The fashion industry's decimation - Stevie Hughes, Dan Carrier, Luba Steubenville, and the weekly disappearances. A friend's father: "I wish you'd told me you had cancer, because then I could feel sorry for you" * [24:29] Eunice at St Mary's - a woman in the Jeffreys Wing waiting room who complimented his coat and, without knowing it, gave him a reason to keep going * [27:00] Disclosure in Hyde Park - why Laurence only ever told partners in places where they could leave without it being obvious, and the silence that followed * [30:47] Feeling toxic - wanting love but building himself into an object of desire that would never let anyone close. "There's only so many times I can do that." * [37:21] The body that wouldn't break - 5 years, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, and still no progression. The CCR5-Delta 32 gene mutation explained * [40:55] The south of France and the lie - a partner who faked leukaemia to trap him, the domestic abuse that followed, and the client at the airport who said: "If you don't leave this man, he's going to kill you" * [46:58] U=U and the end of the wolf - starting medication in 2016 after 31 years, and the moment the loaded gun became an empty chamber * [51:23] The Swedish man - two years of conversation with no photograph, falling in love with how someone treats you, and marriage after 60 DEDICATION Laurence remembers Eunice, whose surname he never learned - the woman in the waiting room at St Mary's who made him decide to keep living. ABOUT LAURENCE CLOSE Laurence Close is a hair and makeup artist who has worked in the fashion industry since the early 1980s. His clients have included Britney Spears, Tyra Banks, Annie Lennox, and Joan Collins. He carries a rare CCR5-Delta 32 gene mutation that slowed HIV progression for over three decades. He now lives in Sweden with his husband. This episode is his first public disclosure of his HIV status. RESOURCES * Terrence Higgins Trust — Living with HIV long term [https://www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/living-hiv-long-term] * National AIDS Trust [https://www.nat.org.uk/] * The Survivors Trust — Domestic abuse support [https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/] * Galop — LGBT+ anti-abuse charity [https://galop.org.uk/] * The 2025–2030 UK HIV Action Plan [https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/hiv-action-plan-for-england-2025-to-2030] If you have been affected by the themes in this episode, support is available at tht.org.uk [https://www.tht.org.uk/]. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
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