How to Bring Kink Into Your Relationship with Former Pro-Domme Amanda Dames

How to Bring Kink Into Your Relationship with Former Pro-Domme Amanda Dames

Your desires aren't proof that something's wrong with you. They're information about a deeper emotional need, and the path to a fulfilling erotic life is understanding the feeling underneath the act, releasing the shame around it, and learning to communicate it. This week I'm joined by Amanda Dames, aka The Kink Consultant — sexologist, Somatica Certified Sex and Relationship Coach, and former NYC Dominatrix who once lived a double life: working at the Wall Street Journal by day and running sessions in a New York City dungeon by night. Amanda has spent years in the room with people's most private fantasies, and what she's learned quietly dismantles almost everything we're taught about desire. Because underneath even the most surprising kink is something deeply human: a need to be seen, to surrender, to feel wanted, to feel safe. The act is just the packaging.  As Amanda puts it: no one is broken. The work was never about fixing your desire; it's about decoding the feeling underneath it, releasing the shame, and learning to say it out loud. We get into the psychology of what powerful men secretly crave, why pain can register as pleasure, how politics shapes our fantasies, and the real reason desire fades in long-term relationships. And if there's a desire you've never had the words for, or a conversation you've been too nervous to start with your partner, this episode is a map for both. Whatever you want, you're allowed to want it. Let's decode it together. In this episode: * Why "no one is broken" — and where our desires actually come from * The real difference between a kink and a fetish * What powerful, high-achieving men are really seeking when they surrender * How shame (not the kink itself) is the thing standing in your way * Why desire fades in long-term love — and the "build a bridge" framework to bring it back * How to name a desire you've never had words for, and bring it to your partner without the cringe Chapters 00:00 — Intro 01:00 — Realizing she was kinky at five 04:00 — Kink vs. fetish, and why no one is broken 06:30 — How "the status quo" decides what's kinky 07:30 — Cuckolding vs. hot-wifing: same act, opposite headspace 09:00 — How politics shapes our fantasies 11:00 — The double life: Wall Street Journal by day, dungeon by night 14:00 — What a dominatrix actually does (it's not what you think) 15:00 — The powerful men who had everything but one thing 18:00 — "My desire is to be punished" — why desire doesn't have to make sense 25:00 — What every client really wanted: to be seen 28:00 — Safe words, consent, and the session that still haunts her 35:00 — Losing it all in one month — and rebuilding 40:00 — Dating in line with your desires (+ the genius Hinge trick) 45:00 — Building a bridge: keeping kink alive in a marriage 47:00 — The mental load that's quietly killing your sex life 57:00 — How to bring up your kink with your partner 01:01:00 — What to understand before you live out any fantasy Work with Amanda Dames: https://www.amandadames.com/ [https://www.amandadames.com/]  Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ [https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/]  It’s really hard to feel sexy when your vagina feels off [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust]. If you’re bracing for irritation, infections, or yet another post‑sex UTI, it’s almost impossible to stay present in the bedroom. Momotaro Apotheca offers organic solutions that Natassia uses everyday to take care of her intimate health—from their soothing balm, Salve, to their UTI supplement, probiotic, and yeast infection suppository. Build your own ritual at https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust] and get 20% off with code LUST. ⸻ Lust in Translation Podcast Subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive insights: ⁠lustintranslation.com [http://lustintranslation.com]  ⁠ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/ [https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/]  ⁠ Follow Natassia on on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/%E2%81%A0]

Her 20-Year Marriage Was Over. This Is How They Rebuilt It. | Juliette LaMontagne

Juliette LaMontagne did everything right — the husband, the kids, the career. Behind the scenes, her 25-year marriage was unraveling: codependency, her husband's relapse after decades of sobriety, and a separation she believed was the end. Then came an unexpected second chance, and an unconventional path back to desire. In this episode, the writer behind the serial memoir Touch Me There (now being adapted for television) shares how she rebuilt her marriage and her erotic self from the ground up: psychedelic-assisted therapy, s*xological bodywork, the Wheel of Consent, and the radical accountability that changed how she and her husband connect—in and out of the bedroom. Read Juliette's serial memoir, Touch Me There: https://juliettelamontagne.substack.com/ [https://juliettelamontagne.substack.com/] 00:00 – Introducing Juliette Lamontagne 01:22 – The life that looked perfect 06:23 – Marriage, addiction, and collapse 09:35 – Separation and a turning point 18:28 – Reuniting during Covid 19:32 – Discovering k-assisted therapy 23:37 – Remission versus recovery 26:35 – Releasing shame 31:11 – Psychedelic couples therapy 39:00 – Enter s*xological bodywork 44:18 – Breathwork and awakening desire 46:10 – Vulva mapping and de-armouring 51:28 – Understanding org*smic meditation 63:05 – The Wheel of Consent explained 65:04 – Relearning touch with her husband 69:00 – The power of taking and allowing 72:33 – Rebuilding erotic connection 78:52 – The all-women s*x retreat 82:49 – First experience with shibari 85:11 – Why surrender is so difficult 88:21 – The meaning behind Touch Me There 90:43 – Where to find Juliette’s work It’s really hard to feel sexy when your vagina feels off. If you’re bracing for irritation, infections, or yet another post‑sex UTI, it’s almost impossible to stay present in the bedroom. Momotaro Apotheca [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust] offers organic solutions that Natassia uses everyday to take care of her intimate health—from their soothing balm, Salve, to their UTI supplement, probiotic, and yeast infection suppository. Build your own ritual at https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust] and get 20% off with code LUST. ⸻ Lust in Translation Podcast Subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive insights: ⁠lustintranslation.com [http://lustintranslation.com] ⁠ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/ [https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/] ⁠ Follow Natassia on on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/%E2%81%A0]

What Dating in Your 30s Actually Teaches You with Andrea Popova and Val Parker

The creators of the hit live comedy show Ask a Fuckboy [https://www.askafuckboy.com/] pull back the curtain on modern dating, relationship psychology, and the chaotic behavior that keeps singles questioning everything. From ghosting, breadcrumbing, and love bombing to dating app burnout and the myth of “if he wanted to, he would,” the conversation blends sharp humor with surprisingly honest insights about attachment styles, communication, and finding lasting love.  Andie Popova and Val Parker share the real-life dating disasters that inspired their sold-out comedy phenomenon, including outrageous stories of serial daters, shared toothbrush scandals, and the unexpected lessons they've learned from analyzing thousands of dating experiences. Whether you're navigating Hinge, recovering from a situationship, or wondering why dating feels harder than ever, this episode offers a funny, relatable, and thought-provoking look at how people connect, sabotage themselves, and ultimately find the right partner. 00:00 – Pre-show setup and dating banter  03:18 – The origin of Ask a Fuckboy Comedy Show  05:57 – Why fuckboys do what they do  07:47 – Can women be fuckboys too?  08:23 – The psychology of the chase  11:52 – Two opposite dating strategies  14:39 – Why people hate dating  17:09 – How to survive dating apps  19:57 – You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person  20:50 – The wildest Ask a Fuckboy stories  22:31 – The different types of fuckboys  24:30 – Love bombing versus real connection  25:25 – Manifesting the right partner  26:24 – Dating a self-described fuckboy  29:30 – Can a fuckboy change?  31:29 – The role of friends in dating behavior  32:50 – Hot takes: coffee dates  35:51 – FaceTime first dates  37:09 – Catfishing, height lies, and profile photos  38:22 – Aspirational dating and punching above your weight  39:47 – When a partner won't take the next step  44:00 – Marriage, commitment, and relationship timing  50:00 – Dating myths and audience questions  57:00 – Final dating lessons and closing thoughts Buy tickets to watch Ask a Fuckboy live: https://www.askafuckboy.com/ [https://www.askafuckboy.com/] Follow them on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/askafuckboy/ [https://www.instagram.com/askafuckboy/] ⸻ It’s really hard to feel sexy when your vagina feels off [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust]. If you’re bracing for irritation, infections, or yet another post‑sex UTI, it’s almost impossible to stay present in the bedroom. Momotaro Apotheca offers organic solutions that Natassia uses everyday to take care of her intimate health—from their soothing balm, Salve, to their UTI supplement, probiotic, and yeast infection suppository. Build your own ritual at https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust] and get 20% off with code LUST. ⸻ Lust in Translation Podcast Subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive insights: ⁠lustintranslation.com [http://lustintranslation.com]  ⁠ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/ [https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/]  ⁠ Follow Natassia on on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/%E2%81%A0]

Brain Fog, Low Libido, Night Wakes with Hormone & GLP-1 Expert Jackie Giannelli

Why are women's health issues often brushed off as “just part of aging”? In this eye-opening episode, Natassia sits down with board-certified family nurse practitioner, women's longevity and sexual medicine expert Jackie Giannelli [https://jackiegiannellinp.com/] to unpack the truth about perimenopause, menopause, libido, hormone replacement therapy, GLP-1 medications, hair loss, testosterone, vaginal estrogen, peptides, and sexual wellness. They explore why so many women feel dismissed when experiencing brain fog, fatigue, low desire, anxiety, and disrupted sleep and what can actually be done about it.  From the controversy surrounding hormone therapy and breast cancer fears to the surprising effects of GLP-1 medications on libido and pleasure, this conversation challenges outdated medical narratives and offers practical insights for women who want to reclaim their vitality, confidence, relationships, and long-term health. If you've ever wondered whether feeling “flat” is normal, this episode may change the way you think about aging and wellness. 00:00 – Welcome and introduction 01:15 – Why women feel dismissed by healthcare 02:58 – The first signs of perimenopause 05:25 – Sleep, libido, brain fog, and hormone decline 06:25 – Normal vs. optimal hormone levels 09:41 – Medical gaslighting and menopause care 11:32 – When hormones aren't the whole story 13:05 – Testosterone therapy for women 15:03 – Understanding estrogen, progesterone, and hormone balance 17:28 – Bioidentical vs. synthetic hormones 19:19 – The Women's Health Initiative controversy 22:04 – Breast cancer fears and hormone therapy 24:52 – Feeling flat, dopamine, and SSRIs 26:10 – GLP-1 medications and sexual side effects 29:20 – Combining hormones with GLP-1 treatment 32:08 – Long-term concerns about GLP-1 medications 36:12 – Hair loss, hormones, and weight loss drugs 41:37 – Peptides explained 44:01 – The peptide regulation gray area 46:00 – PT-141, Addyi, and female libido treatments 51:16 – Why vaginal estrogen is underused 54:13 – Designing a home for intimacy and connection 57:08 – The science of music and arousal 59:00 – Closing thoughts Follow Jackie Giannelli on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/jackie.giannellinptalks/] On this note: It’s really hard to feel sexy when your vagina feels off. If you’re bracing for irritation, infections, or yet another post‑sex UTI, it’s almost impossible to stay present in the bedroom. Momotaro Apotheca [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust] offers organic solutions that Natassia uses everyday to take care of her intimate health—from their soothing balm, Salve, to their UTI supplement, probiotic, and yeast infection suppository. Build your own ritual at https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust] and get 20% off with code LUST. ⸻ Lust in Translation Podcast Subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive insights: ⁠lustintranslation.com [http://lustintranslation.com] ⁠ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/ [https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/] ⁠ Follow Natassia on on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/%E2%81%A0]

What Women Fantasize About with Literary Erotica Founder Carly Pifer of Aurore

What if your “low libido” is actually a lack of imagination? In this episode, Natassia sits down with writer Carly Pifer, founder of literary erotica platform Aurore [http://readaurore.com], to explore what women really want, how responsive desire styles get turned on by storytelling and why reading erotica is such an effective form of low-pressure foreplay. Carly shares the real‑life experiences that inspired her crowdsourced erotica platform—from interviewing strangers about their intimate lives in bars and going on Tinder “research dates” across Europe to rewriting painful relationships through erotic fiction and helping women feel less ashamed of what turns them on. For the past two years, Natassia has been an avid reader of Aurore’s stories and loves how it offers a playful way to sample different scenarios, learn what actually lights you up (and what doesn’t), and bring those discoveries back into your own sex life. If you’re curious, use code NATASSIA to get 10% off your subscription at readaurore.com [http://readaurore.com]. 00:00 – Why women connect more with erotica than porn 02:00 – Responsive desire vs spontaneous desire 04:18 – Erotica as a place you go mentally 05:25 – Writing through body image insecurities 08:16 – Turning insecurity into eroticism 09:39 – Building Aurore and crowdsourced erotica 10:30 – Why romance novels don’t work for everyone 12:02 – Feeling emotionally safe during sex 13:32 – The rise of “real eaters” 15:44 – Interviewing strangers about sex in bars 18:21 – What people secretly reveal about intimacy 20:03 – Bathroom habits and relationship comfort 22:09 – Pubic hair trends and attraction 24:34 – Tinder dates across Europe 27:12 – Why men struggle to talk about intimacy 28:55 – Two Frenchmen in Paris story 32:12 – Why sex gets better with age 33:35 – Writing erotica as emotional healing 35:01 – Men learning oral sex from lesbian stories 36:25 – What women actually want sexually 37:18 – Fantasies as clues to your deeper desires 39:16 – Using erotica to communicate with partners 41:10 – How to start talking about fantasies 43:45 – Why sexual coaching matters 44:16 – Making quickies hotter through fantasy 45:16 – Love Is Blind and relationship psychology 46:43 – The rebellious origins of Aurore 48:05 – Straight men writing erotica 50:15 – The jeans story and male desire 51:10 – Why threesomes dominate fantasies 53:09 – Female gaze, dick pics, and visual desire 55:14 – Writing erotica to heal sexual trauma 56:34 – Understanding consensual non-consent fantasies 59:10 – Rewriting trauma through fantasy 01:01:06 – A powerful body acceptance writing exercise 01:02:22 – Final thoughts and where to find Carly It’s really hard to feel sexy when your vagina feels off. If you’re bracing for irritation, infections, or yet another post‑sex UTI, it’s almost impossible to stay present in the bedroom. Momotaro Apotheca [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust] offers organic solutions that Natassia uses everyday to take care of her intimate health—from their soothing balm, Salve, to their UTI supplement, probiotic, and yeast infection suppository. Build your own ritual at https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust [https://momotaroapotheca.com/discount/lust] and get 20% off with code LUST. ⸻ Lust in Translation Podcast Subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive insights: ⁠lustintranslation.com [http://lustintranslation.com] ⁠ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/ [https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/] ⁠ Follow Natassia on on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/%E2%81%A0]