I can't save the Earth

Hibernation Time

In the final episode of Season 1, Matt talks about the life of a dog after it eats its owner, why grabbing little kids off the street is actually a good idea and how economical it is to fly with a dead body.

Grok, please bend me over

In this episode, Matt talks about why the age of consent should be 95 million, why we should all be lying to each other as much as possible and how being on your phone is actively killing everyone around you.

I can't save the Earth

In this episode, Matt uses his iconic, soothing voice to talk about his medium rare index finger, why there are worse places to die than a McDonalds drive thru and why vegans are far more dangerous than we could have ever imagined.

Free Junk!

In this episode, Matt talks about the general population's rabid desire for garbage, why Michael Jackson needs to come back from the dead and set some things straight and why it's ok to ask Asian people if they plan on eating their pets.

We are all doomed

In this episode, Matt carelessly gives away his grandmas secret Italian cookie recipe, tries to make light of a bunch of horrible events (he fails) and finally cracks the code to a perfect Vegas weekend.