"Everything Happens for a Reason", & Other Platitudes

"Everything Happens for a Reason", & Other Platitudes

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", "When one door closes another door opens", "You're only given the battles that you can handle": Quotes in frames at your local HomeGoods, or things you say to people when they're going through a tough time and you have no idea what else to say? (Or perhaps both)? This week we're talking about platitudes - the somewhat superficial, surface-level advice we give when we want to make someone else feel better but don't want to give it a lot of thought - and whether they are all bad or can actually be helpful. We discuss the various reasons they get used, why it can feel dismissive to be on the receiving end of one, toxic positivity & when offering platitudes can come across as selfish, and why sometimes the most effective thing you can do is say "that sucks".  We also chat about the wisdom hiding under the surface of well-known cliches, why who says it to you makes a difference, and how "sloganizing" in therapy content leads to a misunderstanding of what therapy actually is. About Your Hosts:  Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.  Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out. Note: Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help. Other Stuff: Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/noyourenotdyingpodcast/] Submit your topic ideas and questions here [https://forms.gle/Cq6WoTJNh8wYSvLJ6].

That Don't Impress Us Much (Or Does It?)

We saw That's The Point Podcast with Kristin and John do an episode on this, so we're doing an episode on this (with our own twist). Today, we're having goof & gab time where we talk about the things we used to be impressed by that no longer impress us, and the things that actually *do* make the cut these days. We talk about everything from the clean-girl aesthetic and needing to remind people about where you went to college, to being able to navigate public transit in a new city and successfully cook without a recipe...but we'll let you figure out which is which. We also chat about envy, how to both accept your limitations and figure out the things you can change, why what often impresses us reflects our own insecurities, and why we shouldn't be impressed with bare minimum good manners. About Your Hosts:  Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.  Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out. Note: Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help. Other Stuff: Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/noyourenotdyingpodcast/] Submit your topic ideas and questions here [https://forms.gle/Cq6WoTJNh8wYSvLJ6].

Can a Relationship Survive a Partner Cheating?

Cheating is a not-all-that-uncommon occurrence in relationships, but that doesn't make it any less devastating. And if someone cheats, it's normal to think: this is over, leave and never look back. But is it really that simple? Today, we're talking about the complexities of infidelity in a relationship and how to determine if you want to stay with your partner and move forward. We chat about the different types of cheating and how to define what your "line" is, why being a good self-observer can flag potential issues in your relationship before they progress, how to communicate that you've been unfaithful, and why going through your partner's phone is never the answer. We also discuss why cheating is a symptom of issues in a relationship and the people in it, the difference between explaining behavior and excusing it, whether putting restrictions on your partner is ever effective after infidelity has taken place, and whether a relationship can really be repaired once trust has been broken. About Your Hosts:  Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.  Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out. Note: Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help. Other Stuff: Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/noyourenotdyingpodcast/] Submit your topic ideas and questions here [https://forms.gle/Cq6WoTJNh8wYSvLJ6].

Love, Marriage, & Hating Your Spouse

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...finding everything your partner does kind of annoying and realizing you might actually hate them? Queue the questions: is this normal? Is it just a phase? Is it worth saying anything?  In today's episode, we're talking about how you can go from the adoration of your wedding day to the resentment of everyday life with your partner, and what to do when this happens. We discuss why people can overlook behaviors they dislike early in a relationship, the common times in a marriage that partners will express frustration with one another, the downsides to voicing your disdain of your significant other, and what (not) to say when someone is complaining about their partner to you. We also chat about why you shouldn't disparage your partner in front of your kids, why trying to avoid conflict can actually backfire, when couples therapy can be helpful, and the cost of making "man-hating" cool.  About Your Hosts:  Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.  Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out. Note: Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help. Other Stuff: Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/noyourenotdyingpodcast/] Submit your topic ideas and questions here [https://forms.gle/Cq6WoTJNh8wYSvLJ6].

Musings on Music: The power of a song

**apologies for a bit of wacky audio today, we accidentally messed up our audio levels while recording oops** Do you have a favorite song that makes you feel powerful? Or maybe one that completely changes your mood, or takes you back to a specific moment in time and suddenly you feel like the person you were then? What about one that you listen to when you're pissed off, or need a good cry? You're probably thinking of each of them now. Today, we're talking about the influence of music on our memories and moods, and why the songs that we hold close to us move us. We chat about why sound is one of the strongest senses, where psychology and music intersect, what we can learn from actually listening to lyrics, and why the best songs tell stories (even if they have no words). Then, we share our own personal favorite songs and artists - from Johnny Cash and Warren Zevon, to BANNERS and Sleeping at Last (and of course, Taylor Swift). We discuss why people need to give musicals more of a chance, how music can help us process difficult emotions, and how our personalities shape our judgements about the music we like.  About Your Hosts:  Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages.  Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out. Note: Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help. Other Stuff: Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/noyourenotdyingpodcast/] Submit your topic ideas and questions here [https://forms.gle/Cq6WoTJNh8wYSvLJ6].