The Dangerous Side of Selflessness

The Dangerous Side of Selflessness

Season 2 Episode 8: The Dangerous Side of Selflessness For years, Kimber Hardick did everything she thought she was supposed to do. She was a wife. A mother. A helper. A caretaker. The person everyone could count on. From the outside, her life looked successful. Inside, she was disappearing. In this deeply honest conversation, Hannah sits down with author, speaker, and educator Kimber Hardick to talk about the quiet way so many women lose themselves while taking care of everyone else. After more than 30 years of marriage, Kimber found herself confronting a question she had spent decades avoiding: Who am I when I'm not taking care of everyone else? Together, Hannah and Kimber unpack the stories women are taught about self-sacrifice, why so many of us confuse being needed with being valued, and how years of putting ourselves last can leave us feeling invisible in our own lives. They also explore one of the most powerful concepts Hannah has discussed on the podcast: the difference between feeling your emotions and feeding them. Because healing doesn't happen by pretending you're fine. It happens when you stop running from what you're feeling long enough to listen to what it's trying to teach you. Whether you're navigating divorce, rebuilding after heartbreak, struggling with your identity, or simply wondering where the woman you used to be went, this conversation is an invitation to stop waiting for "later" and start coming home to yourself. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Meet Kimber Hardick 03:45 – How women lose themselves inside marriage and motherhood 08:20 – The belief that good women sacrifice themselves 13:15 – Feeling invisible while appearing successful 18:40 – Empty nesting, identity, and rediscovering yourself 24:10 – The wake-up call that changed everything 29:50 – What our children learn from our relationships 34:30 – Boundaries, people-pleasing, and proving your worth 40:15 – Why women stay longer than they want to 44:40 – Feeling vs. feeding your emotions 49:30 – The emotions wheel and emotional awareness 53:20 – Avoidance, capacity, and learning to sit with discomfort 56:30 – Why joy won't come until all emotions are welcome 59:00 – Kimber's advice for women rebuilding their lives CONNECT WITH HANNAH ⚖️ Hembree Bell Law Firm Helping women navigate divorce, custody, and life's next chapter. HembreeBell.com 💛 Join the Free Women's Circle A supportive community for women rebuilding after divorce and major life transitions. MyConfidentDivorce.com/Circle ✨ My Confident Divorce Courses, coaching, and resources to help you move through divorce with clarity and confidence. MyConfidentDivorce.com CONNECT WITH KIMBER HARDICK📱 Instagram@KimberLivingLife 📱 Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/19EkV6N1od/?mibextid=wwXIfr🌐 WebsiteKimberHardick.comHer Skool Group https://www.skool.com/an-invitation-to-shine-9904/about The Emotions Wheel https://kimberhardick.netlify.app/tools/emotion-wheelThe Workbookhttps://a.co/d/0gy8JkXK📖 BookAn Invitation to ShineIf this episode helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

The Secret To Making A Blended Family Work

Season 2 Episode 7: The Secret To Making A Blended Family Work Everyone wants the blended family to feel like a family immediately. But that's not how real life works. In this deeply personal episode, Hannah sits down with her husband, Drew Bell, to talk honestly about what happened after the engagement, the wedding, and the excitement wore off. How do you actually blend a family after divorce? What happens when one partner has children and the other doesn't? How do you build trust with kids who have already experienced so much change? And how do you create a family without forcing it? Together, Hannah and Drew share the lessons they learned while building a family of seven, including what worked, what didn't, and why patience may be the most underrated parenting tool in a blended family. If you're dating after divorce, remarried, engaged, or trying to navigate life in a blended family, this episode will remind you that healthy families aren't built overnight. They are built one relationship at a time. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Why blended families take time 02:20 – How Hannah and Drew's story began 06:00 – Moving in together and blending five lives 11:00 – Why easing into a blended family helped 15:00 – When a house starts feeling like a family 20:00 – The role of a stepparent in a child's life 25:00 – Why Hannah never expected instant parenthood 34:00 – Letting relationships develop naturally 41:00 – Building trust with children after divorce 49:00 – The challenge of being a stepparent 57:00 – Why patience matters more than control 01:05:00 – Creating traditions as a family 01:12:00 – Family dinners, gratitude, and connection 01:18:00 – Navigating custody and transitions 01:25:00 – Advice for dating and remarriage after divorce 01:34:00 – What they would do differently 01:45:00 – Stepparents, boundaries, and humility 02:00:00 – Final lessons on building a healthy blended family CONNECT WITH HANNAH ⚖️ Hembree Bell Law Firm Helping women navigate divorce, custody, and life's next chapter. HembreeBell.com 💛 Join the Free Women's Circle A supportive community for women rebuilding after divorce and major life transitions. MyConfidentDivorce.com/Circle ✨ My Confident Divorce Courses, coaching, and resources to help you move through divorce with clarity and confidence. MyConfidentDivorce.com 📱 Connect with Hannah Instagram & TikTok: @HannahHembreeBell If this episode helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

How to Spot a Narcissist

Season 2 Episode 6 : How to Spot a Narcissist What if the problem wasn’t that you were too sensitive… …but that you were being taught to doubt your own reality? In this episode of Not Saving It For Later, Hannah sits down with retired clinical psychologist Dr. Kerry McAvoy to unpack one of the most misunderstood and overused words in modern relationships: narcissist. Because not every difficult partner is a narcissist. And not every narcissist looks the way you think. This conversation moves beyond social media buzzwords and into the real psychology behind narcissistic behavior, manipulation, power, and emotional control. Dr. Kerry brings both clinical expertise and personal experience to this conversation, helping listeners understand not only what narcissism is — but why smart, capable, loving women so often find themselves trapped inside these relationships. If you have ever felt confused… blamed… emotionally exhausted… or like you were slowly disappearing inside your relationship… this conversation may help you make sense of what you’ve been living. This Conversation Covers: • What narcissism actually means according to the DSM • Why narcissism is often confused with selfishness or being a jerk • The core traits narcissists share • Manipulation, entitlement, and lack of empathy • Why narcissists often see relationships as competition and control • How love bombing and “compliance testing” work • Why smart women still fall into these dynamics • The role of self-betrayal and emotional conditioning • Why narcissists struggle to change • What emotional detachment can look like inside marriage • How manipulation escalates when you begin pulling your power back • Why staying “for the kids” may not protect them the way you hope • Practical ways to begin recognizing patterns and protecting yourself One truth from this episode that hit hard: "The people who benefited from you giving away your power will freak out when you call it back." If this conversation feels painfully familiar, please hear this: You are not crazy. You are not weak. And you are not doomed to stay stuck in dynamics that require you to abandon yourself to survive. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Introduction + Meet Dr. Kerry McAvoy 02:15 – What Narcissism Actually Means 06:30 – Narcissist vs. “Just an Asshole” 11:40 – DSM Criteria + Core Traits Explained 18:15 – Jealousy, Entitlement & Lack of Empathy 24:20 – Are Narcissists Born or Made? 31:10 – Family Patterns + Genetic Components 38:00 – Why Narcissists Feel Superior Yet Empty 45:15 – Power, Control & Competition in Relationships 52:30 – Why Women End Up With Narcissists 58:10 – Love Bombing + The Mask They Wear 1:04:20 – How Compliance Testing Works 1:12:00 – Self-Betrayal, Attachment & People Pleasing 1:19:45 – Pulling Your Power Back 1:27:30 – Why Leaving Is So Hard 1:35:10 – Staying for the Kids + The Cost of Survival Mode 1:43:40 – Emotional Healing + Building Back Better 1:51:15 – Divorce, Labels & Why Caution Matters 1:59:20 – Not Saving It For Later CONNECT WITH DR. KERRY MCAVOY: Website: https://www.kerrymcavoyphd.com/ Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd Facebook: Dr. Kerry McAvoy CONNECT WITH HANNAH + HEMBREE BELL: Website: www.hembreebell.com Website: HannahHembreebell.com Instagram: @hannahhembreebell Instagram: @hembreebelllaw Facebook: Hannah Hembree Bell TikTok: @hannahhembreebell

Are Your Kids Being Used as Weapons in Your Divorce?

Season 2 Episode 5: Are Your Kids Being Used as Weapons in Your Divorce? High Conflict Divorce Explained What happens when divorce stops being about resolution… and starts becoming about control? In this  episode of Not Saving It For Later, Hannah sits down with psychologist Dr. Mary Alvarez to unpack the painful reality of high conflict divorce and custody cases — and the devastating impact conflict can have on children. If communication feels impossible… if you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells… if co-parenting feels more like surviving than parenting… this conversation is for you. Dr. Alvarez brings decades of experience working inside high conflict family systems and explains what many parents quietly live through but struggle to put words around. This conversation covers: • What actually qualifies as high conflict divorce • Why conflict is often about power and control—not parenting • Co-parenting vs. parallel parenting • How children become emotional weapons in custody battles • Why tight custody orders matter • How toxic conflict impacts children’s brains and development • The emotional toll on the healthier parent • Self-care, regulation, and surviving without losing yourself • Whether children eventually “figure it out” One truth from this episode that hit hard: "It’s not the divorce that harms children. It’s the ongoing conflict." If you are navigating divorce or custody conflict, we hope this conversation helps you feel less alone — and more equipped. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Introduction + Why This Conversation Matters 02:15 – Meet Dr. Mary Alvarez + Understanding Her Role 07:40 – What High Conflict Divorce Actually Means 14:10 – Why Progress Can Feel Unsafe During Litigation 20:05 – Co-Parenting vs Parallel Parenting 27:35 – Why Tight Custody Orders Matter 34:50 – How High Conflict Personalities Operate 41:15 – When Children Become Weapons 48:20 – Why Moms Often Feel Pressure to Be “Perfect” 54:10 – Trauma, Emotional Regulation & Self-Care 1:01:30 – Mental Health, Therapy & Divorce Stigma 1:08:45 – Learning Emotional Skills During Divorce 1:14:20 – Choosing Which Hills to Die On 1:20:10 – Do Kids Eventually Figure It Out? 1:27:15 – Healing, Hope & Leaving the Door Open CONNECT WITH DR. MARY ALVAREZ: Website: https://drmaryalvarez.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-alvarez-ph-d-4028836b/ CONNECT WITH HANNAH + HEMBREE BELL: Website: www.hembreebell.com Website: HannahHembreebell.com Instagram: @hannahhembreebell Instagram: @hembreebelllaw Facebook: Hannah Hembree Bell TikTok: @hannahhembreebell

What If the Good Stuff Scares You Too?

Season 2 Episode 4: What If the Good Stuff Scares You Too?You expected divorce to feel hard. What you didn't expect is that the good stuff on the other side might feel scarier.Tah Whitty is back for season two — nurse, healer, men's work guide, and one of Hannah's most trusted people. In their first season conversation he pulled a thread that wouldn't let her go: the part of her, and most women coming through divorce, that learned to keep the bad stuff out by also keeping the good stuff out. The same armor that protected you in the worst of it can quietly block the joy, the new love, the easier flow you've been working so hard to receive.This conversation is about full spectrum humanity — feeling all of it on purpose. They get into why "good" and "bad" are the wrong words, the five-step framework Tah teaches his clients, and why letting it just be is a level up from letting it be good.Tender, layered, and full of permission. Save this one for the days when you can't tell if you're protecting yourself or hiding from your life.Timestamps:- 01:35 — Welcome back, Tah- 03:20 — The thread from season one Hannah couldn't drop- 04:30 — Hannah's mean inner critic and the half-step removed life- 08:00 — Armor that keeps the bad out also keeps the good out- 09:30 — Logan's question: what do you do when you finally get what you wanted- 10:47 — Familiarity is what we protect, even when it hurts- 13:05 — The warrior still standing at the gate after the war is over- 16:12 — Tah's five steps: awareness, intention, strategy, action, accountability- 18:00 — Why "good" and "bad" are the wrong words. Try "different."- 22:25 — The doomsday scenario coming online- 22:44 — Tonga, humpback whales, and getting out of narrative- 23:44 — The four questions that craft your intention- 24:57 — Strategy, action, and the accountability piece people skip- 33:00 — Joy as the mother of all emotions. Capacity built both ways.- 34:30 — Full spectrum humanity, defined- 38:00 — Why women stay for years while every signal is on fire- 41:30 — Find your people: the boutique pack that can hold your honesty- 47:00 — Be messy. The right people love you in your mess.- 53:00 — It's all good. There is no opposite.- 56:00 — Stretching the rubber band: tiny doses of staying in the feeling- 58:50 — Don't rob your future self of the good by avoiding the hard- 59:00 — Trauma responses and why good things trigger the guardian- 1:02:00 — The color question on Tah's intake form- 1:03:25 — Hannah's new mantra: instead of let it be good, just let it be- 1:05:00 — Tah on Not Saving It For Later: save the doomsday scenario for later, not the joy- 1:07:40 — What's been shaking Tah lately- 1:09:30 — The empathetic witness: trauma in the absence of one- 1:11:30 — People throw rocks at things that shine- 1:13:00 — Tah's one piece of advice: 100 trillion cells, 4,000 ancestors, the magic in the mirrorMentioned in this episode:- Kimber Hardick's new book on joy- "Be Your Future Self Now" — Benjamin Hardy- Napoleon Hill — "The Six Ghosts of Fear"Connect With Tah:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tahfree/?hl=en The YOUniverse is where Tah supports people in building emotional fluency and the capacity to navigate what they’re feeling, especially in moments of major life transition like divorce. Click here to join - https://CallTah.com/YOUniverse. Thinking about divorce in Texas? You don't have to figure it out alone.Hembree Bell Law is a Texas family-law-only firm built for high-functioning women who want to end their marriage well — with clarity, integrity, and a real plan for what comes next. Schedule a confidential consultation at (http://HembreeBell.com)Considering divorce but not in Texas or not ready to file? Start here.My Confident Divorce is Hannah's free community for women considering divorce. Access free coaching, private groups, preparation documents and so much more! Head over to (http://MyConfidentDivorce.com)