Episode 24: Tess Lehman’s Story -Never Going Back in the Box

Episode 24: Tess Lehman’s Story -Never Going Back in the Box

Show Notes Episode 24: Tess Lehman’s Story - Never Going Back in the Box On coming out, starting over, and learning to be exactly who you are (Trigger warning: this episode contains some swearing. Just so you know what you’re in for — but I promise it’s worth it.) Today I am joined by a woman I found the way I find most good things — scrolling Instagram at some point when I should have been doing something else. Tess Lehman is a photographer based in Newcastle, and her Instagram bio reads: Photos that feel like home. Rebellion and magic. Not your average. And honestly, right there tells you everything you need to know about Tess. She is as real and raw and as down to earth as they come. No bells and whistles. No performance. Just a woman with a big life and a beautiful, honest way of talking about it. What a life it has been. Tess grew up in a big, loud, blustery family on the edge of Inverell in northern New South Wales — one of seven kids, a voracious reader who hid in treehouses with her books so nobody could take them off her, a kid who threw down with her teachers (and won), and a teenager who, at eighteen, packed herself into a Subaru with her best mate and drove to Alice Springs because she knew if she didn’t leave, she never would. From Alice Springs to the mines of northern WA. From Perth to Indonesia to Canada. Selling cars, working bars, laying 90 square metres of turf with three small children watching from the deck. And then, at 33, painting a wall alone at 2 or 3 in the morning, she had a moment. A quiet, enormous, life-changing moment. In this episode, Tess talks about coming out as queer in her 30s, and what it felt like to finally give herself permission to be the person she actually was. She talks about her ADHD diagnosis, and the strange grief of realising that the things you thought were just your personality — both the good bits and the hard bits — were something else entirely. She talks about her photography, and the transformation she witnesses when she turns the lens on women and reflects back to them a version of themselves they’ve never been allowed to see before. And she talks about her precious sister. Her shining, hilarious, enormous-hearted sister, who saw Tess more clearly than almost anyone, and who died — and how you learn to live with that kind of missing. This is a big, beautiful, honest episode. I think …. wait … I know ….. you’re going to love Tess as much as I do. A little something from this episode to take with you... “I am never going back in that box. I’m never going to be quiet. I’m never going to stop saying the things that are true for me.” Tess Lehman Where to find Tess: Instagram: @tessdoes_ and @wishmymothertoldme [https://www.instagram.com/wishmymothertoldme/] The Podcast: Wish My Mother Told Me [https://substack.com/@wishmymothertoldme] Photography Bookings: www.tessdoes.com [https://tessdoes.com/] If you enjoyed this episode, follow Tell Me Over Tea wherever you listen, and if you feel inclined, leave a little review — it helps more story-lovers find their way here:) Kim x Where to find me: ✨I write, on Substack, a weekly newsletter, you can subscribe to that here: Betty Mae Wrote newsletter [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote]. It’s the space where I share stories (both mine and other people’s) and it’s also a way of keeping up to date with all things Betty Mae Wrote, Little Life Stories, Lovely Letters and the podcast. ✨To find out more about my writing program, Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] you can do that here: Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] ✨I’ve created a simple and beautiful starting point for your own storytelling: The Five Minute Memory List.It’s a short, exercise (a cuppa’s worth), to help you gather memories and begin. It’s fun and easy peasey and it’s something you can use in your letter writing, journaling and personal life writing. You can grab that by subscribing to my newsletter (you’ll find it in the welcome letter one you’ve signed up): here [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote] ✨The Tea + Toast Letter Club [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]! A little moment to pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy spot, and enjoy a letter (and some other goodies) in the mail every month. You can read more about it here [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]. Oh, and from July on, there will be an extra special little gift waiting for one lucky duck subscriber. A ‘golden ticket’ will be tucked inside one envelope. Who will July’s ticket finder be? ✨If you’d like to get back into the gorgeous slow soothe of letter writing, please know you are always welcome to join: The Lovely Letters Project [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/pen-pals] (it’s free!) ✨Or if you simply need a good old sticky beak around the place, please head on over here to the website: www.bettymaewrote.com [http://www.bettymaewrote.com] ✨Oh and if you’re an Instagram type, be sure to follow me on Instagram: @bettymaewrote [https://www.instagram.com/bettymaewrote] Music: Kim on the uke;) Rattling teacups – also KimProduction and Editing: Surprise, surprise, guess who? Yep! Kim again! Art by Lewis Dillon (thanks, Lew!) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bettymaewrote.substack.com [https://bettymaewrote.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode 23: The Kitchen Table Letters — Nadine’s Letter

Show Notes Episode 23: The Kitchen Table Letters — Nadine’s Letter Today is a very special episode of Tell Me Over Tea, because today the Kitchen Table Letters begins. If you’ve been following along, you’ll know I’ve been talking about this for a little while now — an invitation for you, my listeners, to write me a letter. An actual, old fashioned, hand written, snail mail letter. And I’ll choose some to read here on the podcast. Because stories connect us. And the stories of our lives — the small ones, the quiet ones, the ones we think nobody wants to hear — are all that we leave behind. And having them written down somewhere is one of the most precious gifts we can give to the people who come after us. The very first letter comes from Nadine @rust_emporium [https://www.instagram.com/rust_emporium/], and it is a beautiful one to open this series with. Nadine writes about her mum being handed a bundle of letters — written by her great grandmother Lottie, who lived in Brisbane, to her grandmother Jane, who lived in Oxfordshire — spanning twenty odd years in the late 1880s. Written in copperplate on tissue thin paper, folded into tiny handmade envelopes that would fit in the palm of your hand. Two women who never once met in person, but who treasured each other across vast oceans through the written word alone. And Nadine asks the most beautiful question: what will my descendants think of me? She also shares a quieter, deeply personal story — the day she stepped into a pine forest in Victoria to gather pine cones for her shop window, and how the hush of those trees stopped her completely in her tracks and changed her life. This is an episode about letters and what they carry. About the forest and what it teaches. About slowing down before the world forces you to. And about the small, fleeting, everyday moments. A little reminder from this episode… They never met in person, Lottie and Jane.But they both treasured those pieces of paper until the day they died.And so did every daughter and cousin who came after them. No one is ever disappointed to find letters. Never ever never! Would you like to be part of the Kitchen Table Letters? I would love to read your letter on the podcast. All you need to do is get in touch via the email address in the show notes and I’ll send you a list of prompts to choose from. Write your response by hand, pop it in the post to my address, and your letter might just be read aloud right here on Tell Me Over Tea. You just need to be comfortable with me sharing bits and pieces — on the podcast, in my newsletter, or over on Instagram. If you’d prefer to keep some things private, just let me know and we’ll sort it out. If you enjoyed this episode, follow Tell Me Over Tea wherever you listen, and if you feel inclined, leave a little review — it helps more story-lovers find their way here 🙂 Kim x Where to find me: ✨I write, on Substack, a weekly newsletter, you can subscribe to that here: Betty Mae Wrote newsletter [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote]. It’s the space where I share stories (both mine and other people’s) and it’s also a way of keeping up to date with all things Betty Mae Wrote, Little Life Stories, Lovely Letters and the podcast. ✨To find out more about my writing membership, Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] you can do that here: Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] ✨I’ve created a simple and beautiful starting point for your own storytelling: The Five Minute Memory List.It’s a short, exercise (a cuppa’s worth), to help you gather memories and begin. It’s fun and easy peasey and it’s something you can use in your letter writing, journaling and personal life writing. You can grab that by subscribing to my newsletter (you’ll find it in the welcome letter one you’ve signed up): here [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote] ✨The Tea + Toast Letter Club [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]! A little moment to pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy spot, and enjoy a letter (and some other goodies) in the mail every month. You can read more about it here [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]. Oh, and from July on, there will be an extra special little gift waiting for one lucky duck subscriber. A ‘golden ticket’ will be tucked inside one envelope. Who will July’s ticket finder be? ✨If you’d like to get back into the gorgeous slow soothe of letter writing, please know you are always welcome to join: The Lovely Letters Project [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/pen-pals] (it’s free!) ✨Or if you simply need a good old sticky beak around the place, please head on over here to the website: www.bettymaewrote.com [http://www.bettymaewrote.com] ✨Oh and if you’re an Instagram type, be sure to follow me on Instagram: @bettymaewrote [https://www.instagram.com/bettymaewrote] Music: Kim on the uke;) Rattling teacups – also KimProduction and Editing: Surprise, surprise, guess who? Yep! Kim again! Art by Lewis Dillon (thanks, Lew!) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bettymaewrote.substack.com [https://bettymaewrote.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Tell Me Over Tea Podcast Episode 22: Thea - A Portrait of my Mum

Show Notes Episode 22: Thea - A Portrait of my Mum In this solo episode of Tell Me Over Tea, I give my mum, Thea, a little bit of the limelight she so richly deserves — and would almost certainly have hidden from if she were here. Following on from Episode 21, where I shared a letter to my Nan about the grief of losing five of her six children, I felt the pull to tell you more about the first of those children to leave us. My mum. The woman who shaped me more than anyone else in the world, in both her life and in her death. In this episode I wander back through her story — from Manly Hospital in 1954, through a Northern Beaches childhood full of siblings, Sunday school, Bob Dylan and that long, silky brown hair, right through to the weatherboard cottage on 105 acres in Bargo where she finally found the slow, earthy, rooted life she had always craved. Along the way you’ll hear about: * The hippie teenager who became a mother at 18 and never looked back * A Jersey cow named Blossom who was anything but angelic at milking time * Homemade bread, chocolate cake, and the most expensive milk in the Bega Valley * A rooster incident I will not forget * The mum who actually looked forward to school holidays * And the quiet, powerful way she showed us, every single day, that the simple things were everything This one is full of love, laughter, nostalgia and a few tears. So, pour yourself something warm, find a comfy spot, and come and meet my mum. Part two — her cancer, her dying, and the rest of her story — is coming in the next episode. A little reminder from this episode… She never put a name to it.She didn’t talk, talk, talk.She just did. But looking back now I can see so clearly what my mum was doing — living intentionally, choosing presence over things, building a home that felt safe and warm and full, no matter how humble its innards were. She was showing us every single day that homemade bread and a garden and a mum who wanted to be with you — that those things were everything. And they were. Something to do after you listen… This episode is an invitation to write about your own mum — or a motherly figure who shaped you. You don’t have to write the whole story. Start with one small memory. The smell of her kitchen. Something she always said. The way she laughed. Those small details are the ones that matter most, and they are the ones most at risk of being lost. Pick up your pen this week. Write it down. Pleasey. If you enjoyed this episode, follow Tell Me Over Tea wherever you listen — and if you feel inclined, leave a little review. It helps more story-lovers find their way here. Kim x Where to find me: ✨I write, on Substack, a weekly newsletter, you can subscribe to that here: Betty Mae Wrote newsletter [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote]. It’s the space where I share stories (both mine and other people’s) and it’s also a way of keeping up to date with all things Betty Mae Wrote, Little Life Stories, Lovely Letters and the podcast. ✨To find out more about my writing membership, Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] you can do that here: Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] ✨I’ve created a simple and beautiful starting point for your own storytelling: The Five Minute Memory List.It’s a short, exercise (a cuppa’s worth), to help you gather memories and begin. It’s fun and easy peasey and it’s something you can use in your letter writing, journaling and personal life writing. You can grab that by subscribing to my newsletter (you’ll find it in the welcome letter one you’ve signed up): here [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote] ✨The Tea + Toast Letter Club [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]! A little moment to pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy spot, and enjoy a letter (and some other goodies) in the mail every month. You can read more about it here [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]. ✨If you’d like to get back into the gorgeous slow soothe of letter writing, please know you are always welcome to join: The Lovely Letters Project [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/pen-pals] (it’s free!) ✨Or if you simply need a good old sticky beak around the place, please head on over here to the website: www.bettymaewrote.com [http://www.bettymaewrote.com] ✨Oh and if you’re an Instagram type, be sure to follow me on Instagram: @bettymaewrote [https://www.instagram.com/bettymaewrote] Music: Kim on the uke;) Rattling teacups – also KimProduction and Editing: Surprise, surprise, guess who? Yep! Kim again! Art by Lewis Dillon (thanks, Lew!) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bettymaewrote.substack.com [https://bettymaewrote.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Tell Me Over Tea Podcast Episode 21: Dear Nan Too Much Loss

Back left - Robert, Mum Front left: Christine, Ron Show Notes Episode 22: Dear Nan Too Much Loss In this deeply personal episode of Tell Me Over Tea, I read one of the most difficult letters I’ve ever written to my Nan. This episode contains discussion of child loss, cancer, death, and grief. Please listen with care if these topics feel tender for you. This is a letter about grief, loss, and the unimaginable reality of outliving five of your six children. From the baby she never had the chance to hold, to the adult children she lost over the decades, this episode explores the quiet resilience that carried my Nan through a lifetime of heartbreak. It is a story about motherhood, endurance, and the many ways people learn to live alongside grief. While this is a sad and emotional episode, it is also a tribute to a woman who continued to love, laugh, care for others, and embrace life despite carrying more loss than most of us can imagine.And, as always, there’s a cup of tea beside me while I read. In this episode I’m drinking the beautiful Madi blend from Ettie and Dorrie [https://www.ettieanddorrie.com.au/] — a delicious, strong loose leaf black tea that’s perfect for that first morning cuppa or an afternoon pick-me-up. Hand blended by Sara, it’s exactly the kind of comforting tea you want in your hands during a reflective conversation like this. You can find Sara’s beautiful range of teas here:Ettie and Dorrie Tea [https://www.ettieanddorrie.com.au/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] You can also find her on instagram here: @ettieanddorrie [https://www.instagram.com/ettieanddorrie/] Okey doke, time to pop the kettle on, settle in, and join me. If this episode sparks memories you’d like to capture, I’ve created a free guide called The Five Minute Memory List [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote]. [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote] It’s a simple, gentle exercise designed to help you gather memories, story ideas, and moments from your life—one list at a time. You’ll find the link here [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote] and below in the show notes. If you know someone who might love this kind of conversation, please do pass it along, and if you enjoyed this episode, follow Tell Me Over Tea wherever you listen, and if you feel inclined, leave a little review — it helps more story-lovers find their way here. Kim x Where to find me: ✨I write, on Substack, a weekly newsletter, you can subscribe to that here: Betty Mae Wrote newsletter [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote]. It’s the space where I share stories (both mine and other people’s) and it’s also a way of keeping up to date with all things Betty Mae Wrote, Little Life Stories, Lovely Letters and the podcast. ✨To find out more about my writing membership, Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] you can do that here: Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] ✨I’ve created a simple and beautiful starting point for your own storytelling: The Five Minute Memory List.It’s a short, exercise (a cuppa’s worth), to help you gather memories and begin. It’s fun and easy peasey and it’s something you can use in your letter writing, journaling and personal life writing. You can grab that by subscribing to my newsletter (you’ll find it in the welcome letter one you’ve signed up): here [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote] ✨The Tea + Toast Letter Club [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]! A little moment to pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy spot, and enjoy a letter (and some other goodies) in the mail every month. You can read more about it here [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]. ✨If you’d like to get back into the gorgeous slow soothe of letter writing, please know you are always welcome to join: The Lovely Letters Project [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/pen-pals] (it’s free!) ✨Or if you simply need a good old sticky beak around the place, please head on over here to the website: www.bettymaewrote.com [http://www.bettymaewrote.com] ✨Oh and if you’re an Instagram type, be sure to follow me on Instagram: @bettymaewrote [https://www.instagram.com/bettymaewrote] Music: Kim on the uke;) Rattling teacups – also KimProduction and Editing: Surprise, surprise, guess who? Yep! Kim again! Art by Lewis Dillon (thanks, Lew!) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bettymaewrote.substack.com [https://bettymaewrote.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Tell Me Over Tea Podcast Episode 20: Don’t Throw Away Your Letters

Show Notes Episode 20: Don’t Throw Away Your Letters In this solo episode of Tell Me Over Tea, I share something that has been sitting on my heart ever since it found its way back into my hands — a letter I wrote to my Aunty Kathleen when I was just six years old. Two short pages in fat, six year old scrawl. And yet, the moment I read it again, the memories I hadn’t visited in decades began surfacing — slowly at first, and then all at once. Flooded! In this episode I read the letter aloud, and then wander through the memories it unlocked — a rogue young horse named Mischief, a little black rabbit called Cindy, the saleyards at Mudgee, a green and white school dress in a sea of brown and white ones, and the strange comfort of a cane sickbay bed when you’re the new girl and everything feels just a little out of sorts. It’s an episode about the power of ordinary letters. The ones we write without any thought of their future value. The ones that sit in shoeboxes and drawers for decades, filled with moments in time waiting to be rediscovered. So pour yourself a cuppa and come and sit with me for a little while. A little reminder from this episode… We don’t write letters thinking about the future. We write them because we’re excited about a horse. Because we have the measles but we’re nearly better. Because there’s a PS about a rabbit that simply can’t wait. And yet, forty, fifty years on, those small unselfconscious moments become something more priceless than we could ever have imagined. Don’t throw away your letters. Pleasey! Something to do after you listen… If you have old letters tucked away somewhere — in a drawer, a shoebox, a box at your mum’s house — go and find them. Read them. See what comes back to you. And if you don’t have old letters, or even if you do — write one this week. It doesn’t have to be long. It doesn’t have to be eloquent. A tiny note with a PS about your rabbit is more than enough. You have no idea what it might mean one day. To the person who receives it. Or to you, if it ever finds its way back home. Come and write letters with us… If this episode has nudged you toward picking up a pen, you’re warmly invited to join The Lovely Letters Project [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/pen-pals] — my free snail mail exchange for women all over the world. With 900+ members across Australia, the US, the UK, Sweden, Germany, New Zealand, South Africa, France, Italy, Canada and beyond, it truly is the loveliest little community of letter writers. You can find the link here [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/pen-pals] to sign up — it’s free, and once you’re on the list you’ll hear from me about the monthly exchange. You can choose a permanent pen pal or a fresh new one each month. Either way, I’d love to have you there. And if this episode stirred something in you — a memory, a story, a little nudge to begin writing — you are welcome to grab my free guide, The Five Minute Memory List, to help you make a start. You’ll find it in the welcome letter when you sign up to my newsletter at bettymaewrote.com [https://bettymaewrote.com] If you know someone who might love this kind of conversation, please do pass it along, and if you enjoyed this episode, follow Tell Me Over Tea wherever you listen, and if you feel inclined, leave a little review — it helps more story-lovers find their way here. Kim x Where to find me: ✨I write, on Substack, a weekly newsletter, you can subscribe to that here: Betty Mae Wrote newsletter [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote]. It’s the space where I share stories (both mine and other people’s) and it’s also a way of keeping up to date with all things Betty Mae Wrote, Little Life Stories, Lovely Letters and the podcast. ✨To find out more about my writing membership, Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] you can do that here: Little Life Stories [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/coming-soon-in-2025-a-new-chapter-for-writing-your-stories] ✨I’ve created a simple and beautiful starting point for your own storytelling: The Five Minute Memory List.It’s a short, exercise (a cuppa’s worth), to help you gather memories and begin. It’s fun and easy peasey and it’s something you can use in your letter writing, journaling and personal life writing. You can grab that by subscribing to my newsletter (you’ll find it in the welcome letter one you’ve signed up): here [https://substack.com/@bettymaewrote] ✨The Tea + Toast Letter Club [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]! A little moment to pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy spot, and enjoy a letter (and some other goodies) in the mail every month. You can read more about it here [https://kyl5j1fht23112jd-57438896333.shopifypreview.com/pages/tea-and-toast-letter-club]. ✨If you’d like to get back into the gorgeous slow soothe of letter writing, please know you are always welcome to join: The Lovely Letters Project [https://bettymaewrote.com/pages/pen-pals] (it’s free!) ✨Or if you simply need a good old sticky beak around the place, please head on over here to the website: www.bettymaewrote.com [http://www.bettymaewrote.com] ✨Oh and if you’re an Instagram type, be sure to follow me on Instagram: @bettymaewrote [https://www.instagram.com/bettymaewrote] Music: Kim on the uke;) Rattling teacups – also KimProduction and Editing: Surprise, surprise, guess who? Yep! Kim again! Art by Lewis Dillon (thanks, Lew!) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bettymaewrote.substack.com [https://bettymaewrote.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]