Why Race Belongs in the Dating Conversation | Ep. 185

Why Race Belongs in the Dating Conversation | Ep. 185

Sophie knows the more information means more power in your love life. She works primarily with BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) singles, blending relationship psychology with an unflinching look at how race, culture, and generational conditioning shape who we choose and why. In this episode, she gets candid about why "high standards" are often a myth, how successful women get conditioned to tolerate bad treatment, and what fetishization actually feels like in the body. It's a conversation about race, grief, self-respect, and why the healthiest dating advice might be to volunteer more and swipe less.0:00 Introduction to Sophie Kaemmerle with Toi & Moi Matchmaking3:40 Accomplished women: inflexible? Following through on their standards?8:30 Women and their grief of not pairing off yet10:12 Coaching women in a macro picture, broadening their options13:22 BIPOC singles (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) better off with another BIPOC?16:09 Dating efficiently21:37 Becoming a matchmaker in this industry23:46 Apps have ruined our dating behavior24:59 New York daters chasing trends but not building connections25:55 Sophie’s best advice: find your third space: where are you a regular, do you have one?27:49 Baseball team, local bookstore, marketplace, Rotary clubs, membership at a museum…go to the same one31:07 Volunteer is the way to go to be a good person and bonus if you want to find an aligned value person and who’s empathetic and kind person!!Sophie is a native New Yorker who grew up across cultures, with French and Filipino roots. She's the founder and the matchmaker behind Toi & Moi Matchmaking and works with people of color and expats, helping them navigate the city's notoriously difficult dating scene by bringing the psychology, social science, and cultural fluency that most dating advice leaves out. She helps clients understand their own patterns, expand their idea of who and what's possible for them, and find a partner who sees their whole story. Website: https://www.toietmoimatch.comIG: @matchedbysophieFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/toi.et.moi.matchmaking/TikTok: @matchedbysophie*AMAZON BEST SELLER* Get my book, ‘A Roadmap For Single Asian Women’ here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9L4CT87?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_FKWJGPCVXW3XG8D98EWB Call May for help: (310) 867-0851Join The Best Asian Matchmaker’s Database Here: https://www.twoasianmatchmakers.com/profileEmail: may@twoasianmatchmakers.comWebsite: www.twoasianmatchmakers.comFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/TwoAsianMatchmakersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/matchmakermayTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@asianmatchmaker88LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mayhui/ABOUT THIS PODCAST: THE ASIAN DATING PODCASTWhat does Matchmaker May Do?You know how high-net-worth men are accomplished in their careers but too busy to date? They value time more than money, yet struggle to find meaningful connection. What I do is learn who they want to attract, screen the women for them, and make the introductions—so instead of wasting time, they meet the right woman and fall in love.May talks about all things dating and Asian dating. She’s super nosy about people’s love lives and just loves love. May is a Professional Matchmaker and Dating Coach. May is the founder of Two Asian Matchmakers, a boutique matchmaking agency. Since 2009, May has helped successful men who appreciate Asian culture and value meaningful connection find their ideal Asian partner in the United States and Asia.May is a highly respected and active member of the Matchmakers Alliance and Global Love Institute in New York. May’s insights and work have been featured in major media outlets including Maxim, NY Post, Cosmopolitan, Los Angeles Magazine, Thrillist, and Huffington Post, establishing her as a go-to expert in love, dating, and human connection.

Stop Being the Invisible Nice Guy: How to Actually Attract Women | Ep 184

Let's be honest — nice guys are finishing last, and nobody's talking about why. In this episode, May sits down with dating coach Dan Silverman, the man on a mission to rescue the Invisible Nice Guy from the friendzone, the ghost, and the endless dating app spiral that's going absolutely nowhere.Dan doesn't sugarcoat it. If you're seeing the same painful patterns repeat in your love life, that's not bad luck — that's a skills gap. And skills can be learned. From when to actually bring flowers on a date, to the four things every man must have to attract a quality woman, to the controversial truth about hiding your dating coach from a woman you're seeing — this episode is equal parts hilarious, eye-opening, and genuinely transformative.If you're a nice guy who's tired of being invisible, this one's for you. Hit play. Now. 0:00 Introduction to Dan Silverman who helps the Invisible Nice Guy3:00 When to bring flowers on a date for her9:28 You need a dating coach if you have pattern of failure15:34 Don’t take it personally if someone ghost you17:00 Don’t rely on dating apps, go out19:50 Equipped to approach women in the wild is a great gift24:00 Extend an invitation to a friend and make them feel good27:30 If you’re a guy, how do you bring value to get people invite you back?31:00 Dan loves this industry seeing clients’ faces have an epiphany 33:50 Bring leadership to a party, creating space for people to have fun36:00 The 4 things men need to have 40:56 The art of charisma; how to get it?44:01 Men, don’t tell women you hired a dating coach until she is attracted to you!Dan Silverman is a Miami-based dating coach and matchmaker, founder of Better Dating Services. He has nearly two decades of experience helping both men and women master the art of dating, confidence, and emotional connection.He is particularly well-known in the industry for his work with the "invisible nice guy"—good men who struggle to get second dates or get noticed by women. https://betterdatingservices.com/*AMAZON BEST SELLER* Get my book, ‘A Roadmap For Single Asian Women’ here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9L4CT87?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_FKWJGPCVXW3XG8D98EWB Call May for help: (310) 867-0851Join The Best Asian Matchmaker’s Database Here: https://www.twoasianmatchmakers.com/profileEmail: may@twoasianmatchmakers.comWebsite: www.twoasianmatchmakers.comFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/TwoAsianMatchmakersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/matchmakermayTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@asianmatchmaker88LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mayhui/ABOUT THIS PODCAST: THE ASIAN DATING PODCASTWhat does Matchmaker May Do?You know how high-net-worth men are accomplished in their careers but too busy to date? They value time more than money, yet struggle to find meaningful connection. What I do is learn who they want to attract, screen the women for them, and make the introductions—so instead of wasting time, they meet the right woman and fall in love.May talks about all things dating and Asian dating. She’s super nosy about people’s love lives and just loves love. May is a Professional Matchmaker and Dating Coach. May is the founder of Two Asian Matchmakers, a boutique matchmaking agency. Since 2009, May has helped successful men who appreciate Asian culture and value meaningful connection find their ideal Asian partner in the United States and Asia.May is a highly respected and active member of the Matchmakers Alliance and Global Love Institute in New York. May’s insights and work have been featured in major media outlets including Cosmopolitan, Los Angeles Magazine, Thrillist, and Huffington Post, establishing her as a go-to expert in love, dating, and human connection.

What If the Best Dating App Is Volunteering? | Ep 183

What if finding love was less about swiping and more about living intentionally? In this fascinating conversation, May sits down with Rebeccah Lipson, a Boston-based Jewish matchmaker with a refreshingly real take on modern romance. Forget the endless checklist — Rebeccah breaks down why your lifestyle, your values, and even the relationship you watched your parents model matter far more than any dating app algorithm ever could. From the surprising similarities between Jewish and Asian dating culture, to the power of showing up in your community (yes, synagogues and volunteer events still work!), this episode is packed with insights that will genuinely shift how you think about love. Whether you're actively dating or just love a great conversation about human connection, Rebeccah's best dating tip alone is worth the watch.Hit play — your future self might thank you. 0:00 Introduction to Boston Matchmaker who happens to be Jewish: Rebeccah Lipson3:12 Soulmate is who you marry5:20 Should you have a checklist8:00 Your lifestyle really matters14:00 Your role model parents17:09 Pitch a friend organization23:50 Don’t rely on apps for dates, try volunteering & synagogues28:05 Jewish men and Asian women similarities30:30 Convert into Judaism35:27 Rebeccah’s best dating tipRebeccah Lipson is the founder of Connection Club, a Boston-based matchmaking service for serious singles ready to find a long-term partner. With hundreds of singles interviewed, she's developed a sharp instinct for what creates lasting, meaningful chemistry. She believes love is the most significant force in life — and she's built her work around delivering that sense of epic connection to her clients.Rebeccah is a proud member of the Matchmakers Alliance, a network of experienced matchmakers and dating coaches. She also serves as the Boston City Organizer of Pitch a Friend — a unique event where friends reserve a spot to deliver a 3–5 minute slide presentation making the case for why their person is an incredible catch, covering their best qualities, fun facts, and what they're looking for in a relationship.https://www.connectionclubmatchmaking.com/*AMAZON BEST SELLER* Get my book, ‘A Roadmap For Single Asian Women’ here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9L4CT87?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_FKWJGPCVXW3XG8D98EWB Call May for help: (310) 867-0851Join The Best Asian Matchmaker’s Database Here: https://www.twoasianmatchmakers.com/profileEmail: may@twoasianmatchmakers.comWebsite: www.twoasianmatchmakers.comFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/TwoAsianMatchmakersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/matchmakermayTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@asianmatchmaker88LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mayhui/ABOUT THIS PODCAST: THE ASIAN DATING PODCASTWhat does Matchmaker May Do?You know how high-net-worth men are accomplished in their careers but too busy to date? They value time more than money, yet struggle to find meaningful connection. What I do is learn who they want to attract, screen the women for them, and make the introductions—so instead of wasting time, they meet the right woman and fall in love.May talks about all things dating and Asian dating. She’s super nosy about people’s love lives and just loves love. May is a Professional Matchmaker and Dating Coach. May is the founder of Two Asian Matchmakers, a boutique matchmaking agency. Since 2009, May has helped successful men who appreciate Asian culture and value meaningful connection find their ideal Asian partner in the United States and Asia.May is a highly respected and active member of the Matchmakers Alliance and Global Love Institute in New York. May’s insights and work have been featured in major media outlets including Cosmopolitan, Los Angeles Magazine, Thrillist, and Huffington Post, establishing her as a go-to expert in love, dating, and human connection.

The Matchmaker Who Slept With Her Husband on the First Date | Ep 182

This conversation with matchmaker Maja Uckar is refreshingly real — no scripts, no rulebooks, just hard-won wisdom from someone who's genuinely in love with her work. Maja shares her philosophy on modern dating: move fast, keep it fun, and stop treating dates like job interviews. From knowing when to take things offline to supporting late-blooming men and divorced women rebuilding their confidence, this episode is packed with practical, permission-giving advice for anyone navigating the dating world today. Maja suggests you meet someone you meet online within within 2–3 days. Prolonged texting kills chemistry. Whether you're a man or a woman, if you want to meet someone, say so. The person who shows clear interest and suggests meeting almost always jumps to the front of the line. You have to be ready before you can be chosen. Whether it's a one-month reset for a burnt-out dater or a full six-month rebuild for a newly divorced woman, confidence comes first. You can't attract the right person when you're operating from a place of defeat.0:00 Introduction to Maja Uckar: East and West Coast Matchmaker3:30 When to take online dating offline?9:30 Hooking up on first date okay?12:40 There are no rules to dating, but to have fun16:30 What is something you love to talk about?19:20 How do you help your clients to stay positive?21:00 You need a reset, try it23:30 Didn’t find a client a partner, but they got so much out of the journey27:19 Inexperienced daters who bloom later in life need more dates & practice34:06 Mock dates for every client before a real date36:00 Women in 60s should do this40:50 Something as easy as clothes shopping can give you a new enthusiasm43:17 What are you doing on a date to make him or her comfortable?Maja Uckar is a professional matchmaker and certified dating and relationship coach with a background in premium, high-profile matchmaking. She specializes in personalization, discretion, and understanding the unique needs of discerning clients — blending intuition with strategy to create real love stories. Her approach transforms the search for love into something that feels fun, meaningful, and deeply personal.https://intronized.com/*AMAZON BEST SELLER* Get my book, ‘A Roadmap For Single Asian Women’ here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9L4CT87?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_FKWJGPCVXW3XG8D98EWB Call May for help: (310) 867-0851Join The Best Asian Matchmaker’s Database Here: https://www.twoasianmatchmakers.com/profileEmail: may@twoasianmatchmakers.comWebsite: www.twoasianmatchmakers.comFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/TwoAsianMatchmakersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/matchmakermayTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@asianmatchmaker88LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mayhui/ABOUT THIS PODCAST: THE ASIAN DATING PODCASTWhat does Matchmaker May Do?You know how high-net-worth men are accomplished in their careers but too busy to date? They value time more than money, yet struggle to find meaningful connection. What I do is learn who they want to attract, screen the women for them, and make the introductions—so instead of wasting time, they meet the right woman and fall in love.May talks about all things dating and Asian dating. She’s super nosy about people’s love lives and just loves love. May is a Professional Matchmaker and Dating Coach. May is the founder of Two Asian Matchmakers, a boutique matchmaking agency. Since 2009, May has helped successful men who appreciate Asian culture and value meaningful connection find their ideal Asian partner in the United States and Asia.May is a highly respected and active member of the Matchmakers Alliance and Global Love Institute in New York. May’s insights and work have been featured in major media outlets including Cosmopolitan, Los Angeles Magazine, Thrillist, and Huffington Post, establishing her as a go-to expert in love, dating, and human connection.

How To Be Charismatic in Dating and Life | Ep 181

Vivek's story isn't what you'd expect. On paper, he had it all...but underneath all that? He was quietly struggling, feeling lost, fearful, and disconnected from who he really was. Through years of therapy, coaching, and serious inner work, he discovered a version of himself that was warm, magnetic, and fully present — and now he helps others do the same. He eventually connected with Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, and went from editing her book to contributing to it.What You'll Take Away From This Episode:Charisma isn't a personality trait — it's a skill. Vivek breaks it down into three pillars: Presence ("I'm here with you"), Power ("I'm competent"), and Warmth ("I'm here for you"). Most of us are strong in one or two — and the inner work is figuring out which one is missing.The two-second pause will change your dates. Instead of responding the moment someone stops talking, wait two seconds. You'll be shocked how often they keep going — sharing something deeper, something real.Connection that usually takes five dates can happen in one.Stop trying to be impressive. Make them feel impressive. Vivek shares a story from The Charisma Myth about a woman who chose the man who made her feel like the most interesting person in the room — not the man who tried hardest to impress her. That's the shift.Ask better questions. Swap "How's work?" for "What's something you could talk about for hours that you don't get to talk about much?" The emotions your questions trigger get attached to you — so make them good ones.0:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo] Introduction to Vivek Pandit4:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=240s] Living in fear and then internal work with being charismatic5:30 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=330s] Quarter midlife crisis because structure life has stopped6:46 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=406s] Presence Power and Warmth = Charisma10:12 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=612s] Meaning making machine: who are you?13:13 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=793s] Best hack for singles: “Let Them Finish”14:20 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=860s] You should wait 2 seconds before responding 18:10 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=1090s] Make the other person feel impressive in dating20:10 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=1210s] Men are always performing, can’t be themselves23:50 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=1430s] People are moving way to fast; slow down27:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=1620s] Ask these dating questions to associate positive thoughts with you34:20 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2060s] Vivek’s topic he can talk about forever34:36 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2076s] Wear something at a networking function as conversation starter37:08 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2228s] How to be approachable: be warm…smile. It’s free.38:36 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2316s] Here’s a secret: do the head tilt 40:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsEyPfe-yVo&t=2400s] Put the spotlight on herVivek Pandit is a Forbes 30 Under 30 entrepreneur, TEDx speaker, charisma coach, and founder of Quarter Life Crisis, a community helping ambitious young adults build confidence, clarity, and meaningful connection. He is also a contributor to the global bestselling book The Charisma Myth and creator of the viral “Let Them Finish” communication framework focused on presence, emotional intelligence, and magnetic conversation.Connect with Vivek:https://www.instagram.com/vivekpandit108/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/vivekpandit108/ https://www.instagram.com/quarterlifecrisis_club/ AMAZON BEST SELLER Get my book, ‘A Roadmap For Single Asian Women’ here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9L4CT87?... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa05peXJiMGNHNFdMSGRjZkJ6ZzJzOFlXa1E3Z3xBQ3Jtc0tsQk1CYm5kZ1lxaE1IWC0ya0RHRWlWb0k0Y2xlQkc3OWxYRnhBSkJrd2UzWC1NcDVDb1lLeURwOHlkZG9qOFlEb3ZKWjRhUFhLUGluVEJWbUhsZ3N0b3RkX3FtU3ZWWkRPVEgzZ2tYYzNaOFhiVU9rbw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fdp%2FB0C9L4CT87%3Fref_%3Dcm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_FKWJGPCVXW3XG8D98EWB&v=gsEyPfe-yVo] Call May for help: (310) 867-0851Join The Best Asian Matchmaker’s Database Here: https://www.twoasianmatchmakers.com/p... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbkNqM0hCZktwQm9OVEhhb3NYenpRMjhheTJ1d3xBQ3Jtc0ttdWNPMzBpeldDX3k5b0FaOFR5anZLd1BYTm5zUThHLTc0bTNLb1hyYXRRVURrTVp3NzEtYmk0RFB2ZUdTaFc4RV9xYWJlcG5OSHk4SGNnSElUT1ZET0hNRDd2blQ0Q3pkNWNHTTFsaU9tRFNqT0E0WQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twoasianmatchmakers.com%2Fprofile&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]Email: may@twoasianmatchmakers.comWebsite: www.twoasianmatchmakers.comFacebook Page:   / twoasianmatchmakers   [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbjk4TXZzUEpKMUU5ZVJxVElNZzR6X0VYNDFQQXxBQ3Jtc0ttc091NVpWdk9KcE9BMEpQc0pFTmdCenZ6RnRfbE1yWVJZYkN1SVh1ZEpGN2ZKQ2cwQmtqZXR4cW1uNGFuNTdzMXVhNEh0ZGJSb25Yc1M4Z0h6ZW5pUFZwc0xkMFpJRFFLMnB1cUVIMjNXVlB0RW9EQQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTwoAsianMatchmakers&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]Instagram:   / matchmakermay   [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqazlOUlZ0TWdDcU9CVkpPcWRWRFRiM2p5cXdCZ3xBQ3Jtc0ttbVA2UlVVMG8zSktOb0h3djh4eGRtX2tScGEwNDJBRkM0Tm1ST081TUIwdndRSXlKRWZUaG5ZWjFQSUl1RDN1dlVhZnhGNU0zNTVHM05LbmRxOV9ZSktNUFAwN1JYY043aEJ5UWJhNHFRcHN4UjFqdw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fmatchmakermay&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]Tiktok:   / asianmatchmaker88   [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGdxX01zN2FOM3ZWLUxobDVRZHVZWjFvMEUwQXxBQ3Jtc0tsYnZqbE1YMlZZaGltSnhyVjQ1d1lWQ3BNSWpLSnBPR3NtU2pUSWlXaVlIQ3RlVFNiRy12OHlfOGV5WDFjSDcxbmVSeGR6d3BMLU5VUHV1N2Y5WUJlZ2RrbEgyNE1aYWZzcXFnbzVoNjlhS1ZpYzVzUQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40asianmatchmaker88&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]LinkedIn:   / mayhui   [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbXVtT1ZVbkdTMVVYalZYcUJJRmxhUlNoa09nZ3xBQ3Jtc0tubkpTR2tYS1UxbFcwTC1LRVZFcUxkSUVPcVhxWHNNd3JUSDhILXJHZUYxbjZ1c1Q4VmpxWFZoSWlyVWlLYWJYUHJjUnBHVklYVEFTeHFOT3V6N3dIZXA3WUlVRXVxZGJCcVlVb3lncGUyTnBNZ3AxOA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fin%2Fmayhui%2F&v=gsEyPfe-yVo]ABOUT THIS PODCAST: THE ASIAN DATING PODCASTWhat does Matchmaker May Do?You know how high-net-worth men are accomplished in their careers but too busy to date? They value time more than money, yet struggle to find meaningful connection. What I do is learn who they want to attract, screen the women for them, and make the introductions—so instead of wasting time, they meet the right woman and fall in love.May is the founder of Two Asian Matchmakers, a boutique matchmaking agency.