The Psychology of Control: Cults, Belonging, and the Search for Identity with Daniella Mestyanek Young

The Psychology of Control: Cults, Belonging, and the Search for Identity with Daniella Mestyanek Young

In this episode of The Chaplain’s Compass, hosts Alice Tremaine and John Betz welcome Daniella Mestyanek Young for a fascinating conversation about cults, coercive leadership, spiritual struggle, and the universal human need for belonging. Daniella shares her extraordinary journey from growing up in the Children of God movement to becoming a U.S. Army intelligence officer and one of today’s leading voices on cult dynamics and unhealthy group behavior. Drawing from both lived experience and years of research, she explains how high-control environments gain influence, why certainty can be so appealing, and how manipulation often disguises itself as purpose, mission, or community.  The conversation explores the difference between healthy group cohesion and coercive control, the challenges cult survivors face when learning to trust themselves again, and the ways chaplains can support individuals navigating spiritual deconstruction, identity formation, and major life transitions. Daniella also offers practical insights into recognizing red flags in organizations, understanding the role of self-sacrifice in unhealthy systems, and creating environments where people can safely rediscover their own voice and agency.  This thought-provoking episode is essential listening for chaplains, caregivers, leaders, and anyone interested in the intersection of faith, psychology, leadership, and human behavior. Connect with Alice and John: Instagram: @alicetremaine (Alice) | @researchchaplain (John) LinkedIn: Alice Tremaine [https://www.linkedin.com/in/alicetremaine/] | John Betz [https://www.linkedin.com/in/chaplainbetz/] Phone: 502-536-7508 Learn more: Chaplaincy Now [https://www.chaplaincynow.com/] | Association of Professional Chaplains [https://www.apchaplains.org/] To learn more about Daniella and her work, visit ⁠Knitting Cult Lady⁠.

Soul Work and the Unpredictable Tide: Navigating Grief Beyond the Box

In this episode of The Chaplain’s Compass, hosts John Betz and Alice Tremaine sit down with Kate Meyer, a chaplain, licensed professional counselor, and prolific author specializing in the intersection of faith and bereavement. Kate describes her vocational path as a journey into "soul work," detailing how she eventually merged her background in ordained ministry with clinical counseling to better support those facing complex losses. The conversation centers on the idea that grief is neither linear nor predictable. Kate challenges the traditional "stages of grief" framework, proposing instead a model of "waves" that reflects the ebb and flow of human emotion. She discusses the spiritual tension many feel when religious cliches suggest that faith should erase sorrow, and she offers a refreshing perspective on how Scripture—from the lamentations of Joseph to the different ways Jesus met Mary and Martha—actually validates the individual and often messy nature of mourning. Listeners will find practical wisdom for spiritual care, including techniques like "Psalm-swapping" and grounding exercises that help slow the nervous system. Kate also explains the critical difference between healthy distraction and harmful avoidance, emphasizing that the role of a chaplain is to provide the space and permission for people to sit within their grief until they are ready to move forward. This episode is a deep dive into the necessity of emotional honesty and the healing power of naming both death and non-death losses. Connect with Alice and John: Instagram: @alicetremaine (Alice) | @researchchaplain (John) LinkedIn: Alice Tremaine [https://www.linkedin.com/in/alicetremaine/] | John Betz [https://www.linkedin.com/in/chaplainbetz/] Phone: 502-536-7508 Learn more: Chaplaincy Now [https://www.chaplaincynow.com/] | Association of Professional Chaplains [https://www.apchaplains.org/]

Bold Courage in Chaplaincy: Mentorship, Community & Professional Growth

In this episode of The Chaplain’s Compass, hosts John Betz and Alice Tremaine explore the heart of professional chaplaincy with guests Martha and Michael, two experienced chaplains shaping the future of the field. They dive into what makes an effective mentor, how to approach board certification with confidence, and why understanding your “why” is key to demonstrating competency. Martha and Michael also share practical strategies for advocating for chaplaincy, communicating value to healthcare leaders, and building meaningful community among peers. From professional coaching to navigating ethical challenges, this conversation is packed with guidance for chaplains at every stage, inspiring bold courage, thoughtful presence, and professional growth. Connect with Alice and John: Instagram: @alicetremaine (Alice) | @researchchaplain (John) LinkedIn: Alice Tremaine [https://www.linkedin.com/in/alicetremaine/] | John Betz [https://www.linkedin.com/in/chaplainbetz/] Phone: 502-536-7508 Learn more: Chaplaincy Now [https://www.chaplaincynow.com/] | Association of Professional Chaplains [https://www.apchaplains.org/]

Mind, Body, Team: Spiritual Care That Starts With Clinicians

Is science enough for total healing? Dr. Alex Lion and Dr. Anastasia Holman reveal how Spiritual Care in Healthcare is the secret to supporting clinical teams and patients in crisis. Modern medicine often focuses on the cure, but what happens when the goal is healing the whole person? In this episode of The Chaplain’s Compass, hosts Rev. Alice Tremaine and Rev. John Betz explore the "Team-Based Spirituality" model. This revolutionary curriculum moves spiritual care out of the silo of the chaplaincy and integrates it into the daily workflow of physicians, nurses, and interprofessional teams. By analyzing the Havruta method of collaborative reflection and sharing case studies from pediatric neuro-oncology, our guests prove that spiritual care is a vital resource for preventing clinician burnout and navigating complex medical uncertainty. Whether you are a healthcare leader or a frontline provider, you will learn how to create inclusive spaces that honor every faith background—including atheism—to provide truly comprehensive care. Upcoming Workshop Meet the Speakers in New Orleans! Dr. Alex Lion and Reverend Dr. Anastasia Holman will be presenting a hands-on workshop on the Team-Based Spirituality Curriculum at the 2026 APC Conference. Don't miss this opportunity to learn how to scale spiritual care in your health system. Connect with Alice and John on social media: Instagram: @alicetremaine (Alice) @researchchaplain (John) https://www.linkedin.com/in/alicetremaine/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/chaplainbetz/ Leave us a message at the Chaplain's Compass phone number: 502-536-7508 Learn more about chaplaincy at https://www.chaplaincynow.com/ and the association of professional chaplains at https://www.apchaplains.org/

The Science of Holding Space: How Compassion Changes Outcomes

In this episode, we sit down with Maureen Shelton — ACPE Certified Educator, CBCT instructor, and co-developer of Compassion-Centered Spiritual Health — to uncover the surprising science behind compassion. Together, we explore how CBCT and CCSH transform chaplaincy from “holding space” into an evidence-based clinical intervention. Learn how compassion reshapes language, reduces patient distress, and even affects chaplains’ well-being. https://compassion.emory.edu/cbct-compassion-training/index.html [https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://compassion.emory.edu/cbct-compassion-training/index.html__;!!EywTGg!wtMXNj72yC4pRj0ltkF7iQCqTQeDKrTY4ey62K20FopAN8Vg5f_3uvC_og9JI0jqMNcRMOY8K8KqCJb0ILoiynw$] https://ccsh.emory.edu/ [https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://ccsh.emory.edu/__;!!EywTGg!wtMXNj72yC4pRj0ltkF7iQCqTQeDKrTY4ey62K20FopAN8Vg5f_3uvC_og9JI0jqMNcRMOY8K8KqCJb04M2G88Q$] https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0313602 [https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371*journal.pone.0313602__;Lw!!EywTGg!wtMXNj72yC4pRj0ltkF7iQCqTQeDKrTY4ey62K20FopAN8Vg5f_3uvC_og9JI0jqMNcRMOY8K8KqCJb0Y227P7c$] Connect with Alice and John on social media: Instagram: @alicetremaine (Alice) @researchchaplain (John) https://www.linkedin.com/in/alicetremaine/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/chaplainbetz/ Leave us a message at the Chaplain's Compass phone number: 502-536-7508 Learn more about chaplaincy at https://www.chaplaincynow.com/ and the association of professional chaplains at https://www.apchaplains.org/