The Photographer's Couch
What does it actually mean to show up for your spouse or partner? For me, showing up doesn't mean grand romantic gestures, expensive gifts, or getting everything right all the time. It looks a lot more ordinary than that. It's listening. It's asking questions. It's having hard conversations. It's supporting what matters to them. It's believing in them. And sometimes, it's simply pre-opening the creamer. Key Points From This Episode 1. Showing Up Starts With Listening One of my favorite questions comes from John Delony: "How can I love you today?" I don't ask it enough, but I love what that question communicates: * I see you. * I care about you. * I want to understand what you need. Showing up means listening before assuming. Because sometimes we think we know what someone needs, and sometimes we're completely wrong. 2. Love Often Looks Ordinary We tend to think showing up has to be something big. But often it's the little things. For me, that might mean: * Setting the coffee the night before. * Making sure things are ready for the morning. * Opening a new container of creamer before bed because I know neither of us wants to deal with it first thing in the morning. Small acts of care matter. Love isn't always grand. Sometimes love looks like pre-opening the creamer. 3. Hard Conversations Are Part of Showing Up Showing up doesn't mean avoiding difficult topics. In fact, sometimes the most loving thing we can do is have the conversation we'd rather avoid. If something is bothering me: * I need to say it. * I need to be honest. * I need to let my husband know what's going on. Because hiding feelings isn't protecting the relationship. It's creating distance. Hard conversations aren't rejection. They're investment. 4. Care About What Matters to Them My husband loves fishing. Now, showing up doesn't mean I need to become a fishing expert. It doesn't mean I need to be in the boat every weekend. It means I care because he cares. I ask questions. I listen to the stories. I support the things that bring him joy. When you love someone, the things that matter to them start to matter to you too. 5. Be Their Biggest Encourager Life can be heavy. Work can be stressful. Responsibilities can pile up. I want our home to be the place where my husband knows someone is in his corner. Someone who: * Believes in him. * Encourages him. * Supports him. * Reminds him who he is when life gets loud. Showing up means speaking life into the people we love. Final Thoughts Maybe showing up in marriage isn't really about grand romantic gestures. Maybe it's about consistency. Listening. Asking. Supporting. Having hard conversations. Believing in each other. Pre-opening the creamer. Showing up doesn't always look big. Sometimes it simply looks like choosing each other over and over again in a hundred small ways. And maybe that's what love really is.
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