How to Love without Dread

The Perfectionism Trap

One of the greatest obstacles to a good life is the expectation of perfection. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/NxDlC Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/UhGrI The School of Life runs a global online psychotherapy service that assists clients from over 40 countries. To find out more and book a session today, please visit our website: https://t.ly/xP3EL FURTHER READING "We typically aim for a particular career because we have been deeply impressed by the exploits of the most accomplished practitioners in the field. We formulate our ambitions by admiring the beautiful structures of the architect tasked with designing the city’s new airport, or by following the intrepid trades of the wealthiest Wall Street fund manager, by reading the analyses of the acclaimed literary novelist or sampling the piquant meals in the restaurant of a prize-winning chef. We form our career plans on the basis of perfection. Then, inspired by the masters, we take our own first steps and trouble begins. What we have managed to design, or make in our first month of trading, or write in an early short story, or cook for the family is markedly and absurdly, beneath the standard that first sparked our ambitions. We who are so aware of excellence end up the least able to tolerate mediocrity – which in this case, happens to be our own...." You can read more on this article and other topics here: http://bit.ly/2clTD85 MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on CAPITALISM in our playlist: http://bit.ly/2bvXBwj SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with Ana Stefaniak: http://www.anastefaniak.co.uk/ #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Weaponise Blushing

Those of us with a tendency to blush usually see it as a source of embarrassment. Yet blushing is a rather delightful habit: one that confirms our deep emotional sensitivity. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/7EC8m Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/7HfjX FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3woErND "For anyone with a tendency to blush, the idea that there might be something positive about going uncontrollably red in front of others can sound absurd. But however uncomfortable it may be to blush, doing so indicates a range of admirable character traits we should honour in ourselves and welcome in others. Far from a disability, blushing is a sign of virtue…" MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Amanda Eliasson http://artofam.se/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How to Love without Dread

We regularly get into difficulties in love because we refuse to accept how much reassurance and stroking we need from the person we love. We imagine we’re grown up, we don’t want to countenance how fragile and easily wounded we might be, we don’t want to see the always susceptible and sensitive child beneath the impressive adult… Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/Zk7W_ Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/Ko8nb FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://9qq0.short.gy/BFuR8G “We regularly get into difficulties in love because we refuse to accept how much reassurance and stroking we need from the person we love. We imagine we’re grown up, we don’t want to countenance how fragile and easily wounded we might be, we don’t want to see the always susceptible and sensitive child beneath the impressive adult. And so, in the face of ‘small things’ that have undeniably hurt us (a missing warm comment here, a lack of touch there), we go numb instead, we silently and swiftly pull up the drawbridge, we unconsciously prepare to recriminate, we tell ourselves that we have a lot of work to do and should spend more time by ourselves. The last thing we can acknowledge is that we might be sad, confused and secretly furious…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life-for-business/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Mike Booth https://www.youtube.com/user/somegreybloke Title animation produced in collaboration with Graeme Probert www.gpmotion.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How to Be Charming When Talking About Yourself

It’s sometimes assumed that talking too much about ourselves is rude; and asking questions of others is polite and charming. But the distinction is not quite so simple. There are far better and worse ways of speaking about ourselves. We end up charming when we dare to reveal our vulnerabilities to others. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/IfCRV Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/1_Ad1 FURTHER READING “Polite people have it instilled in them from an early age that they should not talk too much about themselves. A few comments aside, they should – to prove appealing – always ask the other about their lives or stick to impersonal topics found in newspapers, lest they be accused of that heinous charge: self-absorption. But this rule fails to distinguish between different ways of talking about oneself. There are, as well-mannered people sometimes forget, better and worse ways to share details of one’s life. It is not the amount that one talks that should determine the issue; only how one does so…” You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/eNzT6a MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Andrew Foerster http://www.rewfoe.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Can Pills or Therapy Save You?

The advent of medication to treat mental illness from the 1950s onwards has had untold benefits, enabling countless numbers of us to manage the symptoms of our unwellness. Yet pills can never ‘cure’ us on their own: they must be married with therapeutic treatments to be lastingly effective. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/27M0k Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/3Csil The School of Life runs a global online psychotherapy service that assists clients from over 40 countries. To find out more and book a session today, please visit our website: https://t.ly/xP3EL FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3iVTZmr “A standard strategy, when we are physically unwell, is to head to the doctor, take a pill and then expect, in a short while, to feel a lot better. This recourse is so established, so practical and generally so successful, it is only natural if we were to try to replicate it in the mental field. Here too, when we are feeling ill, we may want to visit a doctor, take a pill and wait for our symptoms to disperse…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Hannah O’Brien https://www.hanobrien.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]