86. You Were Right. So Why Does It Feel So Bad?

86. You Were Right. So Why Does It Feel So Bad?

I Told You So: Why Being Right Can Cost You the Relationship Have you ever watched someone ignore your advice, only for everything you warned them about to happen? That little voice inside your head screams, "I told you so." It feels justified. It feels deserved. But does saying it ever bring you closer to the people you care about? In this episode, I'm sharing why resisting those three words has transformed my relationships—and why choosing connection over being right might be one of the most powerful habits you ever build. We all want to feel heard, valued, and respected. But when someone ignores our advice, it's easy to slip into frustration, resentment, and the temptation to prove we were right. In this episode, I share a personal story about my son, Danny, whose long road trip took an unexpected turn when his truck broke down hundreds of miles from home. It would have been the perfect moment for an "I told you so." Instead, I chose something different—and that single decision created a deeper conversation and stronger connection than I ever expected. Together we'll explore why resentment isn't the real problem, what it's trying to tell us, and how learning to pause before reacting can completely change the way we communicate with the people we love. What You'll Learn * Why saying "I told you so" rarely gives us the satisfaction we expect. * How being right can quietly damage trust and connection. * What resentment is really trying to communicate. * The powerful question I now ask myself before reacting emotionally. * How one small pause can completely change the outcome of difficult conversations. * Why awareness is the first step towards lasting habit change. * Practical ways to respond with compassion instead of proving a point. * How choosing connection over validation strengthens every relationship in your life. The goal isn't to stop feeling frustrated. It's to stop letting those feelings decide what comes out of your mouth. Every time you pause before reacting, you create the opportunity for a different outcome—one built on understanding instead of resentment, and connection instead of conflict. This week, notice the moments when you feel the urge to say, "I told you so." Ask yourself what matters more: proving your point, or protecting the relationship. That one question could change everything. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to **follow the show** so you never miss a new episode. And if you know someone who always has the perfect "I told you so" waiting on the tip of their tongue, share this episode with them—it might be exactly the perspective they need. Resources Mentioned Free Video Guide: *How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding* If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

85. The Automatic Yes - Why You Say It Before You've Even Thought About It

When Your Automatic "Yes" Is Costing You More Than You Realise Are you saying "yes" before you've even had a chance to think? Have you ever agreed to something you didn't really want to do, only to feel exhausted, resentful or completely overwhelmed afterwards? In this episode, I share a very personal experience that forced me to stop and listen to what my body had been trying to tell me. After breaking out in hives twice in just 30 days, I realised that stress wasn't just affecting my mind - it was showing up physically. We explore why so many of us automatically say "yes", where that habit comes from, the hidden cost of constantly putting everyone else first, and how learning to recognise your body's warning signs can help you create healthier boundaries before burnout takes hold. If you've been feeling stretched too thin, struggling to say no, or avoiding a conversation you know you need to have, this episode is for you. What You Will Learn: * Why we automatically say "yes" before we've even thought about it. * How people-pleasing can quietly lead to stress, resentment and burnout. * The surprising ways your body warns you when something isn't right. * Why overwhelm often starts long before you realise you're struggling. * How learning to pause can completely change your decision-making. * A simple awareness exercise you can start using today. * How to stop ignoring your own needs without feeling guilty. * Why difficult conversations become harder the longer we avoid them. Resources Mentioned **Free Video Guide:** *How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding* If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ If this episode resonated with you... The automatic "yes" isn't a personality flaw—it's a habit. And like any habit, it can change. The first step isn't saying no. It's noticing. Pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you this week. That small pause before you answer could be the moment that changes everything. If you found this episode helpful, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who always puts everyone else first. It could be exactly what they need to hear. This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

84. You Knew Exactly What to Say. So Why Did You Say Nothing?

FIRST Check out this free video - https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ Now to the episode Have you ever rehearsed a conversation over and over again, knowing exactly what you wanted to say... only to freeze when the moment finally arrived? If you've ever driven home thinking, "Why didn't I just say it?" this episode is for you. Today, I'm talking about what really happens in those moments when your nervous system takes over, why it isn't a confidence problem, and how you can finally stop the freeze before it stops you. Episode Description In this episode, I'm exploring something I see all the time with my coaching clients—and something I've experienced myself. That moment when you know exactly what you want to say, you've practised the conversation a hundred times in your head, but when you're standing in front of the person, your mind goes blank. Or you say something completely different. Or you say nothing at all. The truth is, this isn't because you don't know how to communicate. It's because your nervous system has decided that speaking your truth feels unsafe. I share real client stories about people who looked confident on the outside but still found themselves freezing, people pleasing or taking responsibility for someone else's emotions. I'll explain why this happens, what your brain is doing in those crucial few seconds, and the one simple tool I come back to again and again that can completely change the outcome of a difficult conversation. If you've ever struggled to set boundaries, speak up at work, say no without guilt or have the conversation you've been avoiding, I hope this episode helps you understand what's really happening—and gives you a practical way forward. What You'll Learn → Why you freeze during difficult conversations, even when you know exactly what you want to say. → Why this isn't a communication problem—it's a truth-telling problem. → What's happening inside your brain and nervous system in the seconds before you shut down. → Why people pleasing often shows up as fixing, rescuing or taking responsibility for other people's emotions. → How to recognise "the charge" before it pulls you back into old habits. → Why I believe the pause is one of the most powerful communication tools you can learn. → The difference between being ready to have a difficult conversation and being willing to have it. → How to stop replaying conversations afterwards and start saying what you really mean in the moment. Resources Free Video Guide: How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/

83. How to Start Investing (Even If You Think You Can't) with Investment Expert Martin Macleod

Can anyone learn to invest? According to investing educator Martin Macleod, absolutely. In this episode, Jenny and Martin explore why so many people avoid investing, the hidden beliefs that keep us financially stuck, and why understanding your relationship with money matters just as much as understanding the stock market. From overcoming fear and information overload to recognising spending triggers and creating financial freedom, this conversation offers practical insights that anyone can apply, whether you're investing £25 a month or planning for early retirement. What You'll Hear In This Episode → Why most people don't avoid investing because of money -but because of fear → The biggest myths that stop people from ever starting to invest → Why investing isn't about being good at maths → How childhood beliefs quietly shape your financial decisions as an adult → Why your bank account reveals what you truly value → The surprising psychology behind impulse spending and Amazon purchases → Why "I don't have enough money to invest" is often not the real problem → How visual reminders and pattern interrupters can stop emotional spending → Why successful investing is more about consistency than picking the perfect stock → How investing creates more freedom, more choices and more time—not just more money → Why Martin believes every child should learn about investing → The simple mindset shift that helps people finally get started Quotable Moments "You don't need to be good at maths to become a successful investor." "Most people don't have a money problem. They have a spending pattern problem." "Your bank account tells you what you truly value." "Investing isn't about getting rich. It's about creating more choices." "Money is simply a tool that buys you more freedom and more time." "We all start with nothing. Every investor made their very first investment once." "You're climbing the ladder... but is it leaning against the right wall?" "Delayed gratification changes everything." "The stock market isn't rocket science. It's something anyone can learn." "Confidence comes from understanding—not guessing." Resources Connect with Martin Macleod LinkedIn - @martin-macleod Website - https://financialhealthclub.co.uk/ [https://financialhealthclub.co.uk/] Email martin@financialhealthclub.co.uk [martin@financialhealthclub.co.uk] Link to his beginner course: https://learntoinvest.financialhealthclub.co.uk/beginnersinvestingcourse [https://learntoinvest.financialhealthclub.co.uk/beginnersinvestingcourse] Follow Jenny • Website: https://jennymcoaching.com • Instagram: @jennymcoaching Subscribe to Who Do You Think You Are Talking To? on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. This episode answers questions like: How do I start investing for beginners? Why am I afraid to invest my money? How much money do I need to start investing? Can anyone learn how to invest? Is investing difficult? How do I stop wasting money? Why do I keep impulse spending? How do I build wealth over time? What's the difference between saving and investing? How can I make my money work for me? Why is mindset important when it comes to money? What are the biggest investing mistakes beginners make? How do I become financially confident? How do I stop reacting emotionally to money? Can investing help me retire earlier? This podcast is produced by www.keystepsupport.com

82. How to Stop Giving Your Time and Expertise Away for Free

How many times this week did you give something away for free? Not money. Not a product. Your time. Your knowledge. Your expertise. Your energy. In this episode I share a real client story about a man who kept answering calls he shouldn't have been taking — not because he didn't know better, but because somewhere along the way he learned that being available was the same as being valuable. He's not alone. This episode is for anyone who keeps picking up the phone when they shouldn't. For the expert who keeps explaining things for free. For the professional who stays on calls too long because ending them feels rude. For the person who has ended up in the friend zone with clients, colleagues or anyone else — and doesn't know how to get out. This is the people pleasing pattern. Just in a different context. What You'll Hear in This Episode → Why giving your time away for free is a people pleasing problem not a business problem → The client who had spoken to the same person ten times without charging a cent — and what was really underneath it → Why we end up in the friend zone with clients and what it actually costs us → The Michael Jordan analogy that reframes everything → How we teach people that our time has no value — without ever realising we're doing it → The simple boundary that changes everything — and why most people resist it → Your action step for this week Quotable Moments "How many times this week did you give something away for free? Not money. Your time." "We are always teaching people how to treat us. And when we keep picking up — we teach people that our time is free." "Every call you take for free is time you're not spending on the things and the people that actually matter." "You can't be everybody's person. And neither can you." "The friend zone feels generous. But here's what it actually creates. Resentment." "The people who truly value what you do will not go anywhere. And the ones who only stayed because you were free? Let them go. They were never your people." "I just need to be about me a little bit more." Resources Get on the waitlist for The Reset — starting Tuesday September 15th 2026: jennymcoaching.com/group Not sure if people pleasing applies to you? Take the 2 minute quiz: bit.ly/notapeoplepleaser Follow Jenny on Instagram and LinkedIn: @jennymcoaching Subscribe to the podcast: Who Do You Think You Are Talking To — weekly on Spotify and Apple Podcasts This episode directly answers: 'How do I stop giving my time away for free?' · 'Why do I keep answering calls I shouldn't?' · 'How do I set boundaries with clients?' · 'What is people pleasing in business?' · 'How do I stop being available to everyone?' · 'Why do I feel guilty charging for my time?' · 'How do I get out of the friend zone with clients?' · 'How do I stop over-giving?' · 'What does people pleasing look like at work?' · 'How do I start valuing my own time?' · 'Why do I keep helping people for free?' · 'How do I charge what I'm worth?' This podcast is produced by www.keystepsupport.com