Wise Not Withered

Hello and welcome to the Wise Not Withered Podcast! This is Season 4, and we are on Episode 13. This will actually be the last episode of Season 4; I will do a pivot into Season 5, and I'll talk about that next month. This month's guest was Manpreet Johal Bernie. I found her first through Tiny Buddha [https://tinybuddha.com/author/manpreet-johal/], where she has written many different kinds of articles. She also has her own podcast, called Heart's Happiness [https://www.heartshappiness.co.uk/podcast]. She is a transformational coach and a writer; she made a fascinating transition from what she used to do and how it translates to the work she does now. TRIGGER WARNING: She does talk about self-harm and suicide. I do want to also say that even though we talk a lot about trauma, one of the main points she also stands for is post-traumatic GROWTH. I'm really honored and excited to share the final episode of Season 4 with Manpreet Johal Bernie. She is just such a warm, loving, kind-hearted soul, and I can't wait for you to hear her story. — Cool so, let’s see, is it Manpreet? Am I saying that right? Yeah, it says Manpreet. So I have got married since I got Zoom, so it’s Manpreet Johal Bernie, and my Podcast and all the things I do is Heart's Happiness. Yeah, Heart's Happiness. That’s so… It’s just so wholesome, I love it. Thank you! Yeah. All right, let's start with… What’s your age? So I am… I’ve just turned 42, and I can't remember that, because I feel like I'm 25! (Laughs) Yeah, and talk more about that. What do you mean you feel like 25? As I've got older, I seem to have way more ambition for my life than I did when I was 25, so I can't quite believe that I'm 42, because I'm living more as a 42-year-old than I did when I was 25 because I was in a lot of pain when I was 25, so… Very different. But it's just, the number’s getting bigger. Mhm, yeah, amazing. And so where did you grow up, and where do you live now? So I was born and raised in London in the UK, and I lived there… I moved around London but my whole life I didn't leave London—like the city and you know, well, I was in the suburbs, but generally that whole area—until I was like 39, which is, you know, part of my new life, my new chapter. I didn't really know who I was when I was living in London, so I was raised in my family. There's lots of trauma and lots of difficulties and I was just caught up in all of that and I had like a career in London where I worked for big companies in IT and change management and things like that. So I was just really caught up in the world, like London, like New York, and these big cities, you know… It's like lots of like going out, and drinking, and work that I didn't enjoy and then all my dramas that was at home, so I was just caught up in this whole bubble there. But as you get older, and you start… I began my own healing journey, I started to figure out who I was, and actually I don't love the city life, so I'm now in, more near the coast in the UK. So in Kent, which is like south, so lots of like nature, walks, and sunsets and a much smaller pace of life. Well, not my job, but, you know, just outside my house anyway, so I love it here. So it's really real different, but again, a big decision that I made as I got older, as I decided to discover who I truly am! Yeah! Yeah, and I want to dive into all of that. I'm so curious. What is your… What is the work that you do? So I am a trauma transformation coach and mentor. Okay, so you mentioned IT, so you have made the transition… Completely changed. Amazing, okay. I used to do change management for big companies. I now do that for people! (Laughs) Okay!! Yeah! It was a complete accident. It's not what I was trained in like. I went to university here in the UK and I did like… I did it to please my dad. Actually he was a computing teacher, so I did computing and business analysis and all of this kind of stuff. But it's just my own journey. As I started to get older, I lost my dad to suicide when I was 26, and so the person that I had created this whole life to please was no longer alive. And when I started to struggle myself, like in my mid-30’s, after he'd been gone for a long time, I started to have real issues myself, like especially in romantic relationships, with my relationship with alcohol, with doing work, I didn't like, I was just really struggling. So I got into a sort of rock bottom situation and… I was like mid to late 30s couldn't get into a healthy relationship, and it was then that I was like, am I just gonna be like my dad? Am I gonna take my life, or… Am I, you know, I'm gonna be like my family and just be unhappy? Like what's going on with me? I started my own journey of like, healing and discovery, and that is the journey that led me to my work. So it's a complete accident. What happened was I was going to therapy, but I remember being in therapy and being like, okay, I get that I've got all of this like childhood trauma and that's why I'm being a complete crazy person with men, but like, how do I change this? I remember saying… I just, like I don't know if I'm allowed to swear, but I was like, how do I do that? Go ahead! It was like, how do I not be fucked? That’s what I said to her. Yeah, so real. I became obsessed with like okay, well, is there a way I can change? So I worked on changing basically, and then I started to get people ask me, how have you changed? Like how did you break that pattern? How did you used to be this like, woman with really low self-esteem and low confidence and bad relationships, and you know, I was very single for many, many years. How did you get to change that and be something else? So I was like oh, and I would tell my story, and it wasn't until you know COVID times and 2020 that I was like, oh, maybe I should start sharing it on a podcast because, podcasts had been so helpful for me as a medium, as part of me understanding what was going on with me. So that's how I kind of started with Heart's Happiness, which is my podcast, and then people started to reach out to me and say, could you teach me what you did? So the very first thing I did was I just created a course and I was like, step by step, like I would be training at work, for like a custom change. I was just teaching them how to do what I did. And then it kind of evolved from there where people started to ask me to do it one-to-one and then I started to train in some of the modalities that really helped me, like EFT tapping, and eye movement, and NLP, and things like that. So I trained, but all of this time I was still working in the corporate world. So I used to work for the VPC in their IT. I wasn't like a media person. So I was doing both at the same time. But the more that I was getting interested with Heart's Happiness, I was like this is what really sets my soul on fire. So actually I'd really like to leave. So I left, just… I'd been running Heart's Happiness for about a year and a half, so I left just before my 40th birthday and, yeah, best thing ever! And slowly, slowly, it's just been growing! And I've got like clients all over the world. I get to teach them my methodology. And it’s turning into some other thing now as well, where I get to help other people turn their healing journey into their work as well. So I've got like little business-starting, and helping people like that. You know, with that transformation that I made as well, so it's been really cool to turn all of that pain into something else. Right, yeah, that's so inspiring! I love that. Yeah, can you talk more about your podcast? There’s… I've listened to a few episodes. There's like the three areas, like what are the main parts of your podcast? Yeah, so I have a lot of guests on. I do bring people on that are like you know… Because when I started I wasn't a professional myself, so I bring in like experts, like therapists and coaches and healers and people that could help others to undo what's happened in their lives and make them feel better. So that was kind of what I decided to start with and share my story. Like I really feel that when we share stories, we help people to understand their own story. So that's kind of where I started, but then, as time went on, I discovered that I was some kind of teacher about this stuff. So I do a lot of content on you know, like how we can change, and, like you know, delving into different issues to do with trauma. So you know, dysfunctional relationships, trauma in the body and how we can change those things.  The addictions that happened during the process, like you know, what I was actually doing in relationship with men was actually called love addiction, so it was very like, almost like intoxicated by men that were very unavailable, but that's very common with people like ourselves that have been through trauma. So sharing stuff like that, talking about traumas and yeah, so it's very much to do with mental, spiritual, emotional wellbeing, but it's very holistic and we talk a lot about health as well and how even we can eat to heal you know our trauma and things like that. So it's really evolved over years, but it's still my favorite part of the week. So I love sharing and I've shared pretty much… I think two weeks I've missed, but for the last three and a half years I've pretty much had a podcast out every week. Wow, every week. Amazing. Yeah, been a long time, so I haven't done seasons or anything, it's just been like a consistent thing. But it's mad, because I'll get somebody you know from where you are, like reach out or Australia, or like all parts of the world. And people that from different backgrounds, they're not the same upbringing as me and we've just got the same story. It's just… To hear that my random content help people like that is kind of cool.  Yeah, yeah, it's definitely so… It's so powerful. Yeah, just resonates with a lot of people. Yeah. Let’s see, I guess getting a little lighter. What are some of your hobbies that you do outside of all this intense work? (Laughs) (Laughs) I know I do really love it, though it's great, of course.  Right, of course. I do actually really love it, so to the point that it's really hard to just come from the point of me or the business stuff, because I'm really into like self development and personal development anyway. So I am quite spiritual, do love the woo-woo’s! So I love like reading spiritual books or self-help books. I just cannot get enough. It's terrible. Like I went on holiday recently for my birthday and you know I read just so many books. That's just like my thing. So I do love traveling and seeing the world. I always loved that before as well. I love reading and just… I do have a natural desire for all the things that I bring into my work. So just everything about that, like you know, and going to sound baths and sound healings. It's like a way that I can help my clients, my teaching, stuff like that, but it's something for myself.  Right. It was really interesting. Through this journey of setting up my business and also helping other people and being on my own healing journey, I've really discovered who I am. So years ago I would have been someone very, very different. Like I would have been… I wouldn't even consider myself like more extroverted, but I'm actually really introverted. So I'll actually just love, like, being now and just like you know nature, I do love to see the world, I love to learn and I love connecting with people that are like deep and don't mind talking about the crazy things about life. I love a conversation. I still… I used to work for fashion companies, still love things like fashion and things like that and like finding ways to be creative. Yeah, I just love and I love… I do love what I do. Like, so I love meeting and hearing people's stories and watching those people just transform. It's incredible. I guess I just feel really blessed that I feel, just like… You know, like actually really like my life when I used to just absolutely hate it.  Right, yeah, that's beautiful, I love it.  I had to create it. You know, like it wasn't like that. It was… And I didn't even know who I am, and I'm still discovering who I am. I really enjoy it. Because for so many years I was just like people-pleasing and about what other people wanted from me, or what society expected. You know, especially even… You know, as a woman, I never had aspirations to like grow a brand or, you know, grow a business, like it felt like a real thing that I wasn't really into. But I love that now! I love helping women to be independent and create their own finances and, you know, use it for the good of the world and stuff like that. I didn't even think I was, you know, like into that kind of achieving or anything like that, but I do love it. I actually do really love business, which is weird.  Yeah, and that is somewhat recent. Yeah, I never would have thought that was who I was before. — Read the full transcript on wisenotwithered.com

Thanks for listening to another episode of the Wise Not Withered Podcast! This is Season 4, and we are on episode 12. This month's guest was Claudia Ortega-Lukas. She is a graphic designer. She shares an interesting story about how her job has evolved over the decades, as technology has also evolved. She shares her experience being a stepmother, and also her relationships with her own parents. She also talks about this duality of different cultures, two different worlds, which is actually how I found her, through an article she wrote a few years ago. In addition, she talks about her community, support system, and challenges she has overcome as well as what she is facing now. — Thank you so much for joining the podcast! What is your age? I'm 60 years old. 60. Okay. Just turned 60. Nice. When’s your birthday? September. Oh, September. Okay. Awesome. I’m a Libra! Oh, you're a Libra. Okay, awesome. Are you into astrology much? Not really. I just thought I liked the, I don't know, I guess we're always saying, you know, what sign you are, but I'm not really into it a lot. I've read it every now and then. But yeah. Mhm. And where did you grow up? I grew up in Mexico City. So, well actually in a town called Texcoco. We were born in Mexico City and then shortly after I was born, my family moved to Texcoco which you know back when I was born, it was probably a whole hour drive to Mexico City. But now I think they're like, pretty much, you know, have touched borders. Okay. And where else have you lived? So from from there from just Texcoco, I spent a semester with one of my mom's relatives in Denton, Texas. And then we moved to Guadalajara when I went to college, and then when I was there in college, I was an exchange student at the University of Oklahoma. Norman, Oklahoma. And then, I came back for a short period of time and then I actually enrolled at the University of Missouri for a master's degree. And so I moved to Columbia, Missouri, to go to school. Okay. And from there, I got a job and Reno, and then I came to Reno and I was here working for their newspaper for two years. And then I got a job with another newspaper in Savannah, Georgia. And then I went there… And I worked there for another two years. But before I left, I managed to meet my husband. Well, you know, the guy who is my husband now. So, yeah, so I was two years in Georgia. And then I came back. We got married there and then came back here and settled in Reno. Okay, so you're in Nevada now. Okay. Awesome. And what do you do for a living? I'm a graphic designer. Oh, okay! That's why… Yeah, I think that's what I wanted to do since I was middle school, although I didn't know what it was. But, you know, I did my own collages for my binders and things like that. And so, by the time I was in college, I knew that that's what I wanted to do. Okay. Yeah. And so take us through, like, what all does that entail? So, like making collages on your binder, then how did that translate into the work that you do now? Well, I mean, it's basically just the, you know… When I was in middle school, it was just basically, you know, kind of making a collage of all of the things that I liked. And then in a way that I thought was, was nice looking. By the time I went, when I got to college, I started working at a newspaper. So I was going to school, from 8:00 to 1:00. And then I was working from 2:00 to 8:00 or 2:00 to 10:00, depending, at the newspaper. So I was doing layout. And that's when I realized that that’s sort of something that I really liked. And I think, working at a newspaper, when I was in college, was really sort of what got me into both technology, and you know, the… I was refining kind of how I was doing. So basically, I was provided with all of the stories that had to be in on one page, or two pages, or the whole section. And then I had to use the photograph that I had available for each of the stories and I had to, you know, lay out a page that, would have a dominant element, a dominant headline, you know, had entry points would kind of guide the reader through it or tease the reader, you know, kind of thing. So, and then yeah, and then that's basically kind of what I did, I did that when I was all the way through school. And then when I move to… When I got my masters, my master's is in magazine and newspaper design. So basically, that was a little bit more emphasis on publication design. It's different from… You can do a poster layout. But it's slightly different when you're doing stories. Because you know, in a poster you you have less elements, in a way, because you have very limited space to tease the reader into what you want them to read, or you want them to be intrigued. And with the story, it kind of goes on and on, you know, it's a longer piece. So you have to you have to design it in a way that the reader can… If they're just sort of glancing at the page. If the headline doesn't intrigue them, maybe the photo does, maybe the photo caption, maybe a quote, maybe some of the sub-heads, or you have like a little sidebar. And so, so that's kind of what I did mostly. When I came to the Reno Gazette-Journal here in Reno, I was doing just mostly one of their small publications, which was… It was sort of like advertorial, we call it, so it's like a mix of advertising and a mix of editorial content. And then when I went to Savannah, I was actually the features and sports editor. And so just like, Design Editor. And so basically, making sure that all of the graphic designers that were doing those pages have all of the elements that they needed to try to make the paper and the stories sing, right. And so, yeah, I did love working for newspapers, you know, but then once I moved back to Reno, when Tim and I got married… The newspaper life is like, you work late, you work weekends, you know, it's just a little bit like, you don't have a lot of the normal hours, right, that people like to enjoy, like, you know, dinner time and things like that. (Laughs) My husband has two children, two boys. And so when we got married, they were five, and eight. Five, and nine, something like that. And so he was like, you know, I think it'd be better if you don’t work nights. He’s like, I'd like to have dinner together, all together. And so I went to teach! I did a brief teaching at the university here. And it was still teaching magazine layout, basically. And then there was an opportunity for me to apply for a position for a full time graphic designer for the office of marketing communications. And so then that's what I started doing. I used to do the alumni magazine. And then in between just serving all of the different units on campus, or, you know, different design needs. And the job has changed slightly through the years. You know, there's certain things that I don't do at all anymore. There are some things that I started doing to serve the web that I don't do anymore. And then I did a lot of stuff that was serving a social media, you know, and so I do some of it, but not as much. So it's just sort of like a little, you know, ebb and flow type of jobs, but all of them have been designed. Layout and design. Okay. Yeah. Can you talk a little bit more about how things have changed? Well, you know, for one, the newspapers have started to disappear. Right. And before the newspaper was sort of what you use as your trusted media, right. And so there was a lot of money spent in advertising, to create those newspapers. And when content online became much more, you know, more effective at penetrating the households, and everybody started going there, the advertisers used the money that they were putting into newspapers into the web. And so they strengthened their online presence. But if weakened the newspaper presence, and so then the newspaper start shrinking down. Right. And so, a lot of newspapers have folded, a lot of newspapers, you know, have gone from having five or six or seven sections to maybe having two. So that shifts to kind of what, for me… It was nice that like my private life sort of pushed me into getting out of that, into something else. The ones that they offer, marketing communications, is mostly to support efforts and recruiting for the university and to basically communicate with parents and alumni. So even, you know, for us, we… There was a point when I when I was doing the alumni magazine. We were doing, like, six issues that year. And then he was like, well, we're gonna do four, well, we're gonna do two… And then I think at one point after I stopped doing it, he went to maybe doing it once. And then he was like, well, maybe two. And so a lot of it has to do how people consume information. And more and more people are much more comfortable going online looking for the alumni news online, rather than having a magazine. Right? And so I printed magazine. There are other things that are still in place, because they are still effective, like, you know, we would produce postcards or brochures for recruiters to take to conferences, so that they can hand out to students, and parents, potential candidates. But even that, you know, sometimes it's like, they just have a big screen, and then they show them what they want to tease them with, right. So yeah, so my job has changed due to the way people consume information. And information online, now, it's just so much more effective—or it can be much more effective. And easily accessible, right? One of the things that happened when you printed something is that we knew, the moment that we printed something, it was outdated by the next day. Right? So for example, a brochure nowadays. If we do something for recruiting, we can do a brochure, and we do our best to put all the information that we need and QR codes and things like that. But we know that information that is printed can change, right? There can be changes to scholarship applications, to deadlines, to anything like that. So the QR codes now that we add to all of our all of our brochures, postcards, things like that, is to get them to the website where we can update things as they happen. Right. So that that has also been one of the major changes, or one of the reasons why things are changing. Because on the web, I mean, if you change a deadline from this morning to this afternoon, you can immediately change it and anybody accessing the information at that point, they will have the correct information. Read the full transcription on wisenotwithered.com!

Hello, Happy New Year! And welcome to the Wise Not Withered podcast. We are on Season 4, and this is episode number 11. Today’s guest is Helen W. I found her on Instagram. Her username is 50_over_and_beautiful. And I really loved the vibe of her profile, just so colorful, she looks so happy. Lots of modeling, clothes and food and drinks, and all kinds of different places that she has traveled to. There’s a lot of different performances where she has sung. And she talks about all of those things in our interview. She is truly a citizen of the world. She grew up... And actually, I’ll let her tell you where she grew up and where she has lived all throughout her life. It’s pretty interesting, pretty unique. In addition to all the places where she has lived and visited, she talks about her pretty complex job, and also the intricate family dynamics, of her upbringing with her family of origin, and her dynamic with her son currently. And she also talks about just her experience being an older woman in today’s society... What that means, how she’s been treated by other women, especially—older and younger, and a pretty interesting work-life balance that she has maintained for a pretty long time. So without further ado, here is Helen! All right, so what is your age? I just turned 60! Oh, you just turned 60! When was that? I turned 60 in September. I think before turning 60, you have this fear, like, “Oh my god… Another decade.” And people regard you as “old”. You think of retirement, yeah… But yeah, I was thinking, because at 60, you get this “Joy Card” in Hong Kong. And then you get like discounts for transportation. Ohh okay! Anywhere you go, you’ll be paying 2 Hong Kong dollars. Which means everybody will know that you’re 60. And I was thinking, before I got the card, “Oh, would I actually use it? I’ll use it when I’m alone… If I’m with people, would I use it? Cause then everybody would know I’m 60.” Then when I got it, it’s like… What the heck! Just use it! I mean, I’m entitled to this! (Laughs) This discount to travel, because I’ve actually lived on Earth for 60 years, and contributed, and yeah! I should be proud! Amazing! I love that!! And what did you call it? Just a discount card? Or did it have a special name? It’s called a Joy Card! A Joy Card! Which is is nice name, isn’t it? Right! It’s a nice name, right? Yeah. I love that!! Be happy! In your senior age. Yeah. That is so cool! Yeah. Let’s see, so you live in Hong Kong right now. Did you grow up there? Where else have you lived? Okay. Yeah… I’m quite multi-national, in terms of where I’ve lived. So I was born in Japan. My parents are from China. But I was born in Japan, Tokyo. So I’m Chinese, born in Japan. Okay then, I did not actually do schooling in Japan, cause the family moved. I moved with my mother to Macao. And then from Macao… My parents divorced, so we were living there with my mom—me and my brother, in Macao. And then she found someone and remarried—an Australian Chinese. So we all moved to Sydney. Oh, wow! So in my teens, I actually moved to Australia, and grew up in Sydney. Did my education there, did my university there. Then after a few years, I married a Malaysian Chinese. And we moved to Singapore. And then the relationship didn’t really work out, so my child was born in Singapore as well. So we divorced. And then the boss that I was working for, he was a Hong Kong Chinese, and he announced he was moving to Hong Kong, so would you like to come and work for me in Hong Kong? He just got a position, so he invited me if I was looking for something. So I said yeah okay, I’ll come along with you. So that’s how I ended up and stayed in Hong Kong. Read the full transcript on wisenotwithered.com [https://wisenotwithered.com/2024/02/02/season-4-episode-11-interview-with-helen-w/]!

"I am truly a positive person. So what you see on my Instagram is just what you get. You know, that might not make you the most popular person. But it makes it much, much, much easier for me, because I’m just being myself. Mhm. Yeah, can you talk more about that? What made you think of that just now? I thought about it, because I think sometimes, you see so much doom and gloom… Every social media, everywhere. And then sometimes, when you look at that, or if it’s not the doom and gloom, it’s the… You know, the people talking about being stressed all the time, or body conscious all the time. You know, it’s always negative! And I wonder, why? I mean, is that all people go through in life? Negativity? Yes, I have had moments that I’m pissed off, upset, have gone through things… But you cannot let that just rule and take over your life." — Welcome to the Wise Not Withered podcast! We are in Season 4, and this is Episode 10. This month's guest is Vickie Heath Glosson. I found her on Instagram, where she describes herself as "Gray hair beauty influencer and motivator with an eclectic lifestyle. Encouraging personal growth and a beacon of positivity and creativity." She truly is just so varied in all of her interests and activities that she does. She talks about her upbringing, as well as all kinds of things she's into now, such as her hair, her gardening, her teaching, her collaborations (being an ambassador for various beauty products), and she truly is just such a warm, beautiful soul. It was such a pleasure to talk to her and listen to her share so much about her life. And I will let her tell the rest of the story! Enjoy! — Cool! All right! Let’s just dive right in! Let’s go for it! What is your age? I am 66! 66, excellent. And where did you grow up? I grew up in the state of Texas, in a small city called Galena Park. It’s right on the outskirts of Houston. So… Houston, Texas. Okay, nice. And where else have you lived? I am a born and raised Texan! Yeah! I’m right here. My parents both came from Louisiana, and they settled here in Houston in the mid-50’s. Okay. Cool, do you know what brought them to where you are now? Of course! They grew up in the Northern part of Louisiana, and after my mom and dad got married, they settled in Seattle, Washington for a while. But since their parents were in Louisiana, they went back and stayed for a while. But they kinda wanted to live their life on their terms. And they decided on Houston. My parents were… My dad was a lawyer. My parents were business people. We had a café, growing up. They settled in Houston to do that. In Northern Louisiana, it was a small town… Opportunities were just not there. And so they decided to move on. Cool, and what do you do for a living? I know you have—you do so many things, but yeah what’s like the main thing, if there is one? So many things… Actually, educator! I have taught for forty-five years. Wow! Actually I retired, then I got rehired because I missed it a little bit. I did that… I started teaching at a very young age of 21, and I taught in the Houston and Galena Park districts. So basically that’s it. I’m an educator, of mostly middle school and high school. Okay, nice. Oh my gosh. Definitely an eclectic lifestyle, as you say on your page. How did you get into teaching? Well, my family has been deep into education. Actually, all my sisters above me… And I’ma just step back for a minute: there are eleven of us, okay. Mom and Dad had eleven children, and none of us are twins. My mom actually always wanted to be a teacher, and so I think over the years, hearing her talking about it on the regular… It just got instilled in us, because education was always really important. My grandmother, on my dad’s side, was a teacher for years. So I really came from a long line of educators. So it just became a part… As a matter of fact, my oldest sister right now has been teaching for fifty-five years—in one district! Wow! Yes, yes. But all my sisters—and I have brothers. Brothers didn’t go into the teaching. But all my sisters above me—which I am seven from the top! There are, what… Three sisters over me. Okay. Wow. So just a whole family of teachers. Yes, teachers, educators of some sort. Mhm. Okay. Yeah, and what has made you stay in it? Well, what happened is… I do do a lot of things. I spend a lot of time… I just love the kids! I retired for four years. And then my mom passed, okay… And after she did, my kids were in college. My younger two were in college still. I was like, “Let me sub for a little bit.” So I went in and substituted. I was teaching anyway. I could not be that person just sitting back and not helping my students. And so I went, “Well you know what? If I’m teaching anyway, I’ll just go ahead and go back.” And that’s what I did. I said, “If I get hired, I get hired. If not… You know, I won’t worry about it. I’m retired. It’s been four years. I’m good.” And my second interview, I got hired again! So I said, “Okay, I’ll do this!” It’s been almost six years now since I’ve been back. Nice! Awesome. All right, yeah… I love so many things that I saw on your profile. One of them was “Encouraging personal growth”. What does personal growth mean to you? Oh gosh… Just continue doing things, you know? Keep living life, having fun. Yes, there’s always gonna be setbacks, that’s normal. But you just have to persevere. You just have to say, “Okay, that happened. I made a mistake, perhaps.” I’ve learned, and move on! I believe in living, loving, and laughing! That’s kind of my motto. It did not just happen. I was a little quieter in my earlier years, but I’ve always believed that. I believe in family. Doing things that make you happy! If it doesn’t make me happy, I move on. Yeah, that’s great! I love that. And what does make you happy? I’m sure there’s tons of things, but what comes to mind first? Family! Family. I love family. I’ve always been family-oriented. I was close daughter to my mother and father. And my children! Oh my goodness. We do so, so much together. I love having them here with me, being around them, doing adventurous things with them. And you know, we’ll just… Family. Family is just the bottom line. They just keep my heart beating. I’m excited about that. And of course, now I have two grand-daughters… That’s just the icing on the cake. (Laughs) (Laughs) Ah, that’s so cute. What was your relationship like with your mom? Oh my… We were really close. When I was growing up, like I said I was a little quieter. I was seventh, so I kind of sat back and watched. But she was very, very supportive. The song that I love, love, love—that I feel represents our relationship the most—you know, the wind beneath my wings! Yeah! Because she had always been there. Beautiful woman, beautiful heart, very supportive… She’s the one, when I came home from dance classes, just if I learned a new step. She may be in the middle of something, and she’s gonna stop. Whether she liked it or not, it’s like “Oh my goodness, look at you! You done a great job.” You know, she always gave me time. Middle of the night sometimes, I wake up… She’ll be in there sewing. Instead of swishing me back, to go to bed, “Come here, come on! Let me teach you this.” She taught me embroidery, taught me how to sew. And a lot of things were just her and me. I was interested, she knew I was. And if I wanted to learn from her, I did. You may have noticed, a lot of the pictures are gardening! Oh my gosh. She was an exceptional gardener. And I was right there with her, trying to learn as much as I could about everything. I wondered, “How do you know all this?” You know, remember all that? And I just kind of amazed myself, now, when I can go and do the same, and my kids are right there with me. They’re like, “Mom, how do know all this?” Ah, I love that!! But she was… Yeah, just a wonderful person. You know, of course, we had our ups and downs, just like any other mother and daughter, but… An amazing woman. I’m that one to say, “When I grow up, I want to be like you.” A role model. Yeah… Oh, that’s beautiful. I love that. Yeah, maybe can you talk more about your gardening? Oh gosh! Oh wow! Okay! I’ve always had a garden. Even in my single days, always had one… 2019 was a real transformation. My son and I—cause I have a son that stays here with me. We had grass in the backyard, the whole works, a courtyard. We decided, you know, let’s do something! He’s very creative. We kinda bonded here together, got our thoughts together. We cleared out every piece of grass, weeds, and we revamped it. It was really nice, took a while… Then covid hit. It was horrible, a terrible time in life, but we made so much out of it. We went through our whole, entire backyard. We dug it up. We transformed it! And it’s my little paradise—my piece of paradise. We made a biometric type of gardening. A place where not only my family and myself, but for the animals. All the birds… We set it up, the garden for butterflies, the bees. We wanted nature to be part of the yard. That’s how we set it up. I was taught earlier that when you do gardening, whether it’s a flower garden or vegetable garden, whatever. You know, you do it enough to have enough for yourself, and enough for the animals. They come in and eat your tomatoes, or pick your peppers, whatever they do. There’s always extra. So that’s what we wanted. That’s the way we wanted the garden to be, and that’s how it turned out. We put gravel over the other areas. We have flower gardens, we have… Oh my gosh. I have peaches, apples, peppers, onions, garlic, greens. Just name it, it’s there. And I love living a healthy life. I love going outside to pick my garden. It has been very healthful, very calming. I’ve loved just sitting back, and watching what I’ve done! I’m very proud of it. So I’ve been keeping it up, and it looks amazing! Oh, that’s great! How fun. I remember my dad grew some, I think tomatoes. I feel like it tastes a lot better, from the natural garden. (Laughs) Oh, yes. And you know, they eat a little more than we want them to eat. (Laughs) But we don’t use pesticides. We just try to get there earlier and pick it before they do. Yeah, that’s so interesting too, to leave enough for the animals too, since it’s inevitable that that’ll happen. Yeah. I love that! How about, can you talk about your hair? Ahh! Yeah!! Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Yes, I will. It’s a very interesting story. First of all, I actually did… Rinse my hair one. What happened… I had younger children, for my age. My first child was born when I was 32, my last one I was 39. So I was an older parent. And I remember my hair growing out gray. And my youngest son said, “Mom, why don’t you dye your hair?” And remember now, he was around a lot of the younger parents, with blonde, bleach-blonde, or brown hair, whatever… I said, “Dye my hair? Why?” He said, “That way, it’d make you look younger. You oughta give it a try.” Remember now, he was in seventh grade, I believe it was. And so, I was like, “Well…” I just kinda didn’t want to do that. He mentioned it again, and I said why not. I went in, got my hair rinsed, because I knew it would wash out after a certain amount of washes. It looked amazing! It did. I loved it, I loved it, I loved it. I’m kinda lazy though! (Laughs) I’m kinda lazy when it comes to even dealing with the hair. I loved it for the moment. You know, I’m happy that I did it. But when it grew out, I was okay. I did this, he thought it was amazing, everyone thought it was amazing. But it wasn’t to the point where I could see myself in the chair, every what, six or eight weeks, getting my hair redone. Nobody said anything else about it from that point. So that was it! It went from a streak of gray right here, in the middle. That streak, years ago, my mom used to say… It was auburn color when I was growing up. She said “It’ll be the first part of your hair that turns gray.” Yes, I had those lovely brothers that called me, you know, skunk! There was a cartoon Josie and the Pussycats. One of the ladies on there had that hair… But anyway, it continued on. I just went back, after a while. I said, “I love it!” I get compliments. An it’s so amazing. Over the years, I’ve gotten more compliments from men versus women. That was shocking. I was like, “What?” That was pretty interesting. I’ve just kept it. I love it. It’s just easy. And just went from there. Yeah, that’s my hair! Love my hair. And if I had to do it over again, I’d probably do the same. Yeah, that’s great. All right, so I’ve seen you’ve done a lot of collaborations. You’ve been featured, you’ve been an ambassador… There’s so much! Can you talk about all of that? Wow… It started with hair. Different companies, that’s where it started. I’m very happy about that. It was during a time where you just did not see women with gray hair, being featured for anything! So it started there, which… That was wonderful. It should have always been a part. When I think about the collaborations, I love the fact that the majority of them kept that in mind: it was because of the gray hair. That’s why I was chosen in the first place, with a lot of them. With some of them, it’s hard on your hair, because by your hair being this light, certain products turn it green or blue or… (Laughs) We had to learn what did and did not work! So that was kinda interesting, because if you’re gonna collaborate with people and you try the products… I like to be transparent. I’m not gonna sit here and say a product is super great if it’s NOT! Especially when I’m talking to women with light hair, white or silver hair. I always try my products. I let them know, “Hey, I have to do this for a week or two, so I can at least see some kind of reaction.” Then it moved on to facial products, and then it just became collaborations with a little bit of both. Even with that… If it’s gonna break me out, you know, I’m gonna like, “Okay…!?” I show a picture of it, but I probably won’t talk a whole lot about it. Because I don’t want to deceive people when I get products, just to get paid. I would prefer not getting paid for it, if I could just jump in front of my audience and say, “Yeah! This product works!” This and that. No, I don’t work like that. As a matter of fact, there’s one I’m working on now, and I’ve only had it for like a week. “Oh, when you gonna come out?” I said, “I haven’t used it long enough!” (Laughs) I said, “I’ll do it so-and-so time.” But yes, I like doing the collaborations. I do a few that are free, but the majority of them I do get paid for them. Yes. Awesome. Yeah. I just put one out now, it’s with Moderna. I’ve done one previously with the others, so… It’s pretty good. I’m trying to get to a point where you know, when I retire next time around, I don’t have to go back to teaching. So after a while, you’re kinda like, “Oh it’s that time again.” Yeah, what was it like to have the first one? Was it surprising to get an email? Or… What was your reaction to that? It was like, “Oh goodness!” I think the very first ambassador was Fly Hip and Ageless. Wow! That was so cool! And I’m like, “Okay!!” You know… But that was so amazing. I was very excited about that. You’ve probably heard of them, Fly Hip and Ageless. So that was my first ambassador one. Probably… I’m trying to think back. There’s been a lot of them. It’s exciting! And it’s still exciting, after years! And you’re excited because the people see you, notice you, and figure, she is… We like what she does well enough to even want to communicate with her. I do pick and choose! There are a lot of scammers out there, yes. They’ll put in, “You’re from this, we’re from that.” And you have to really be careful with that. Check emails, check links, you check all those things before you jump into it. That’s the harder part, and I’m glad I have young children! (Laughs) Cause they say, “Mom, that’s a fake account! Check that again.” Or they check it for me. And sometimes if it sounds too good to be true, it IS too good to be true. But that said, there have been a lot of really good ones, that you would think, “Yeah, sure.” And they’re really good ones, and legit! So, just have to be real careful. I’m very, very picky about that. Because… Yeah, you don’t want your information out there to be stolen. Even though a lot of it gets stolen anyway! (Laughs) You do your best to not let it get stolen. Yeah, interesting… I also see that you’re into yoga too? You know, I’m into a healthy lifestyle. Let’s put it that way. Yoga… I was a ballet dancer… Oh my goodness, pretty much the last dance I did I was like 30 years old. So, I just do what makes me feel good. I love stretching! Being limber. I do yoga moves, I do ballet moves. I do some strength training, jogging… So I kinda just, at this age, I mix what’s best for me. Stretching is the most important part. I can do that, I’ve learned all of that, and I just put it together, and work with it in ways that makes it great for me. You know? I would show it, yes, I do the yoga poses. Did I learn how to do the splits from yoga? No, I learned that from dance! You know what I’m saying? Or my backbend was from my acrobat… I used to be into acrobatics when I was younger. And I just kept up with them over the years. And yes, at 66, I can still do a backbend. Yes, I can still do the splits! Cartwheel, you know, those kinds of things. I just kept up with it over the years, because it just made me feel good. At the time it wasn’t because of my Instagram. It was because I wanted to do it, and prove things to myself. Hey, can I still do this? And yes. I keep it up. I can’t just specify one thing that I do. It’s a blend. It’s a blend of all that I’ve learned over the years. Read the full transcript on wisenotwithered.com [https://wisenotwithered.com/2023/12/31/season-4-episode-10-interview-with-vickie-heath-glosson/]!

"I’ve questioned a lot in my life, 'Why am I here?' I think we all have had those moments. What is the point? Why am I… Especially me, I’m like, 'Why have I been born into such a crazy, isolating situation? Why ME?' And I know why, now. And it’s to share my story, to help others feel less isolated and less alone, and less weird because we get asked these questions. This is why. And it’s bigger than me. I feel like a lot of our situations that we’re put in, there’s a bigger reason. A bigger why. And now I know. And I’m really proud. I’m proud to be me. I’m proud to share my story, because although it’s a unique one, it’s a hard one, but it’s a beautiful one." Welcome to the Wise Not Withered Podcast! This is Season 4, Episode 9. This month's guest was Rachael Go. I found Rachael through her own podcast, Mix'd Movement, where she and her siblings discuss their experiences being mixed race. Rachael herself is also a life coach, and shares her incredibly unique and inspiring life story full of confusion, isolation, loss, strength, resilience, and love. — All right! Let’s just get right into it then! Okay, perfect! I feel like I always say that… Let’s get into it. Yeah! So, what is your age? I am 42 years old. And what roles do you hold in your life? What do you call yourself, what do other people call you? Well, I am… Oh my goodness, I feel like over the years I have worn a lot—acquired a lot—of skills. My first career: I’ve been licensed for twenty years as a manicurist, and that’s taken me all over the country in various ways. I am a mother of three. And I am also building a career in coaching, and Podcasting! That is where my focus is, and my passion is right now, and will continue to be! (Laughs) Because it’s a really important topic that I’ve decided to start talking about, and helping people work through, which is being mixed race. And that is… Something that I feel like we haven’t had a space to talk about it. It’s pretty dynamic, and kind of unique to be mixed race. And especially my age, when I was younger, there wasn’t a place to talk about the complexities. It never felt safe, because nobody really understood. And about two years ago, I had this idea to make that space. Make a change in the world in that realm. So here I am! Yeah! Oh… There’s so many followup questions I want to ask. Maybe I’ll go in order. So you mentioned you’ve been doing… You’re a manicurist, that means doing manicures? You are the one doing the manicures? Yes, I am. I am the service provider. And that, especially doing that as long as I have, I feel very blessed to have been able to sit down and get to know people of all ages, all different walks of life, in a very personal and close space. And it’s really interesting when you sit across from somebody directly, they feel a lot safer, and then you add touch—especially physical touch. It’s amazing to me what people have shared with me over the years! I feel very blessed for getting to know so many different people, in such a deep and personal level. Not everyone, but… That is how my life has changed, though. I’m originally from outside of Chicago, Illinois. The first three years I worked at a salon, on the north side—it was actually my sister’s salon, on the north side of Chicago. And I’ve had several clients, but a few that became friends. And one knew that I wanted to move. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go, and she’s from Washington state. And she said, “You know, I know you want a change! I’m moving back to Washington, if you want to join me!” And I did! And that was in 2005. Which is wild! (Laughs) I lived here for about three years. And then kind of similar, a hair stylist that I worked with, she and I went on vacation to Maui. We came back, and everything was fine and great and wonderful. Then her life shifted, and she said, “That’s it. I’m moving to Maui. Do you want to join me?” (Laughs) So I moved to Maui! I was there for about three years, then I moved back to Washington. Okay, I was going to ask how manicuring take you around. But I guess that’s the answer! Yes, that’s it. Between clients, and coworkers… It’s just kind of in a way that you wouldn’t really expect! Just relationship building. Yeah, I guess it was important that you mentioned you wanted to move, so your client knew you wanted to move. Putting that out there, having people know what you wanted to do. Yeah… Let’s see… Why don’t you talk about your coaching business? When did you star that, and why? I’m sure there’s so much there! Yes! It’s funny, because I started this career kind of backwards. Yeah? I began with my podcast. And I realized, I completely wanted to build a career in this. I’m very passionate about this topic. I wasn’t sure how to… What facet to go with to earn an income in this realm. And I realized that through the twenty years of being licensed as a manicurist, I’ve developed a lot of really good interpersonal skills! So it just kind of came to me one day. Wow! I have this skill. I also owned a photography business for about five years. And that was great, but I missed working with people. I learned about coaching, so I decided to apply that into my world. And it is… It has been amazing. Being able to help people like myself—or, actually some people not like myself—work through some really deep things, structure a plan to make shifts in their lives that they’ve always wanted to but had never been able to. I have helped a couple of my clients move out of areas where they didn’t feel safe, because of their race. Right. I am working with somebody who is phenomenal and wants to do big things and build an addiction facility for mixed race individuals, because we are the highest demographic to be susceptible to addiction, homicide, depression… So it’s been very rewarding, very incredible in a way that I didn’t expect. Yeah. And I don’t know if I missed, how long have you been doing it now? Two years! Two years, okay. So I’m relatively new in the coaching realm. But I don’t feel like I am, because of how long I’ve worked directly with people. This is just in a different facet. Mhm, like more focused now on that versus like, you’re kinda doing is as you’re… Yeah. Yes. Yeah, cool! What’s the name of your coaching business? My coaching business is Love Yourself Coaching. My email address is Coach Rachael Go. And my Podcast is the Mix’d Movement. Yeah! So talk more about your Podcast! I have listened to I think the first five episodes, and a few others. It’s so great. I am also mixed race, too, and it also felt like, wow these are things that I didn’t realize so many people were experiencing. It’s so relatable! Oh, I’m glad to hear that. Thank you. Yeah! So you’ve been doing that also for two years, right? It launched in May of 2022. Oh, so it’s been like a year and a half. Yeah, a year and a half. I mean, it took a lot to get it up and running. (Laughs) But… I love the backstory, I’m not gonna lie. It’s amazing what beautiful things can stem from tragedy. Right. I’ll start with my family members. My co-hosts are my half-siblings. We knew of each other, growing up, but we weren’t raised in the same household. We shared the same father, and they share the same mother and father. I didn’t hold a relationship with my father—I wasn’t really allowed to, growing up. My mother had her reasons, and I understand that. But about four and a half years ago, I received a message from my half-brother saying that our dad was not doing well, and he’s being put into hospice. So I flew down to Texas to see him and say my final good-byes, and that was when we reconnected as siblings. And my sister pulled me to the side—it was just her and I in the room with our dad—and explained to me that she’d always wanted a relationship with me, and was really sad that that hadn’t happened. And she looked at me, and of course I’m crying my eyes out, and she said, “Can we start over, now? Will you be my sister?” And ever since then, every single day, she and our brother have texted each other “Good morning”, every single day—I don’t think we've missed a day. We FaceTime pretty regularly. And we’re pretty close! We haven’t definitely where we, I guess left off. And I love and appreciate them so much. It’s like we were raised together. And then a couple of years ago, I faced a major loss. My home flooded, and I also at the same time had ended a relationship that ended very badly. I had to go through a four-month battle to get a restraining order put in place. So I lost my home, I felt like I was hiding—or put into hiding. And here I am, a single mother with three children and nowhere to go. And I just stopped for a moment and thought about it. I had spent so much panicked, in panic mode. And I was advised to… Sit, and face it, for a moment—by my therapist, who is brilliant! And in that time, I thought, “Okay, what do I want to do now?” Everything I knew, that I had, that was, is no longer. And I realized, I’m like, “This is actually the cleanest slate any adult could get!” Yeah. I have nothing! (Laughs) I closed my photography business. That was when this idea stemmed. I said, “You know what? Since I have nothing left to lose, and only everything to gain, I’m going to put myself out there. I want to start this Podcast. I want it be about mixed race, because we don’t have a space to talk about these things.” And so I called my half-siblings, and I asked them, “Are you in?” And they were like, “Absolutely! Let’s do this!” (Laughs) So that was when the idea was born! Through a tragic, traumatic experience, but it’s been incredible. Absolutely incredible. Yeah, that was about to be my next question, like when did you find the strength to… But I mean, you answered it. Through loss! Yeah! I mean, I can definitely relate. Hitting that really low point… Like, this is the time to make a change. That’s amazing. Yeah, I guess talking a little more about your coaching… How have you noticed like, changes within yourself, as you have… Oh my goodness! (Laughs) So you mentioned you have had a therapist, but then being on the other side of that, like in a more purposeful way—yeah, how have you noticed your own self change? I… Wow, where do I start? I feel like I have gained more than ever in this realm, in coaching. I would say probably my biggest, lately… It’s a beautiful story. I’m honored to be in this position. I hosted a workshop at a women’s retreat, and it was a smaller group, and it was lovely. And my topic was connection and vulnerability, and how that can lead to your tribe. This was a group of women from all different walks of life, ages spanning from 20’s to 40’s. I had everybody do an exercise. My intention for them was to just write it down. But at this point in our day together, we were all really comfortable with one another. And my question was, “Can you think of a time where you hid who you were to be accepted, because you thought you weren’t going to be?” And everybody wrote down… And I said, “If you would like to share—” because I knew a lot of this information was deeply personal. So “If you would like to share, you can share.” And almost everybody did, and it wasn’t superficial. It was deep-rooted, really painful things. And I cried, listening to a lot of this. But my biggest takeaway from that experience was… I no longer look at people with the eyes of… I feel like a lot of us human beings have judgement. That is how we learn and grow, or learn about our environment and the people that we’re around. And I know at some point, especially my younger self  would question, like, “I wonder what her house looks like.” Just silly, superficial things. But now, every single person I meet, I question, “What have you overcome? What battle have you fought and overcome?” Or “What are you going through silently, that you’re not talking to anybody about?” Because every single one of us has a story. Every single one of us has been through something, to whatever degree. And I greet people—new people especially—with a lot more compassion and understanding than I used to. I’ve never been a mean, judgmental person, but that is now in the front of my mind, knowing that truthfully, we’ve all been through some hard things. It’s crazy! A lot more compassion for people. Yeah. That’s beautiful. Do you do those kinds of workshops very often? I am calling more into my life right now. Speaking events, as well. I was a speaker at a small event at a winery, this summer. And that was a phenomenal experience, also to be able to get up in a room of women, and talk about the things that are really important to me, and share my story and my experience, especially to further other people’s understandings of… We’ve all been through things. You can’t guess just by looking at somebody! Don’t judge, and think to yourself, “Wow. Her life must be perfect.” Cause nobody’s life is perfect. Yeah, definitely. Wow. I guess a little more open-ended questions: What inspires you? What inspires me? Oh my goodness! So I… Everything! (Laughs) A lot of things inspire me, but most of all, I am encouraged and built out of love. And anything that I do, I know will come back to me. So when I go about my day, I always start with love first. Also, being a mom of three children… Sometimes it gets a little tested throughout my day. But truthfully I firmly believe you get back what you put out. — Full transcript available on wisenotwithered.com!