Inside Out and Why Nobody Listens

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YES AND LAND — SHOW NOTES What happens when a leader stops listening and starts planning their reply instead? Inside Out shows us exactly that moment at the dinner table—when Riley's dad is so locked in his own head that he completely misses what his family is trying to communicate. BJ Oldroyd, who's spent years leading teams in the startup world and mastering the art of genuine human connection, breaks down why this happens and how to fix it. 🎯 3 Actionable Takeaways 1. Take a Breath Before You Respond — Pause for a beat before answering in any conversation, especially intense ones. Why it works: It stops you from reacting on pure emotion and gives you space to articulate what you actually mean instead of fumbling through it. 2. Be Mindful of How You're Perceived — Pay attention to your facial expressions and body language in conversations, especially if you're leading them. Why it works: Even if you're genuinely focused, you might look zoned out or upset, which makes the other person less likely to listen to what you have to say. 3. Talk Human to Human, Not Role to Role — Find moments to remove the business element and just connect as people, while maintaining professionalism. Why it works: When both sides see each other as humans first, harder conversations become possible because respect and genuine care are already established. 🔦 EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS * The dinner table scene where Riley's dad is completely checked out—a perfect mirror of how we all listen with the intent to reply instead of to understand * BJ's story of breaking through with an older team member by simply asking if everything was okay, which led to a real conversation * The Stephen Covey quote: "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply." * How Riley finally opens up to her parents: "I know you don't want me to, but I miss home"—the power of allowing someone to feel what they're feeling * The Inside Out moment where Joy embraces Sadness and core memories shift from pain to joy, showing that vulnerability leads to connection * BJ's two-pronged approach: asking "Can I offer you some feedback?" and then asking the person to identify their own areas for improvement first 👤 ABOUT BJ OLDROyD BJ is a Disney enthusiast and startup leader who's spent years building teams and fostering psychological safety in high-growth companies like Thumbtack. He's passionate about the human element of communication and believes that genuine connection—treating people as humans first, not roles—is the foundation of effective leadership. His love for Disney was rekindled in 2015 when a friend invited him to Disneyland, and he's been an annual passholder ever since. Connect with BJ: 🌐 https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjamin-oldroyd-69598348/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjamin-oldroyd-69598348/] 📺 ABOUT YES AND LAND Yes And Land explores the leadership lessons, relationship dynamics, and hard choices hidden in the stories we love. Hosted by Ryan Gregerson, a family law attorney at RCG Law Group, Disney enthusiast, and business coach for law firm owners at Altium Advisors, each episode connects familiar narratives to real-world wisdom you can actually use. New episodes every Thursday.

Turning Red: What Your Teen's Meltdowns Are Really Telling You | Mitchell Acton

What if every time your teen shuts you out, they're not being difficult — they're actually developing exactly the way they should? Turning Red shows us why. Mei's red panda doesn't appear because she's broken — it appears because she's suppressing everything she's been taught not to feel. And that's exactly what Mitchell Acton, clinical director at Kane Counseling, sees play out with real families every day. 🎯 3 Actionable Takeaways 1. Parent from the Inside Out — Do your own emotional work before reacting to your teen. Why it works: If you were socially rejected at 13, your 13-year-old's struggles will trigger you — and you'll react to your wound, not their need. 2. Knock Before You Enter (Literally and Figuratively) — Contract with your teen for privacy before conflict arises. Why it works: Teens aren't shutting you out — they're building identity. Respecting that boundary keeps the door open for the conversations that matter. 3. Name Your Panda — Identify the messy, loud parts of yourself you've been suppressing. Why it works: You can't model emotional integration for your kids until you've practiced it yourself. Vulnerability is the most connecting thing a parent can offer. In this episode, Mitchell Acton — clinical director at Kane Counseling and licensed clinical social worker — joins Ryan to unpack what Turning Red gets startlingly right about adolescent development, family enmeshment, and why suppressed emotions always find a way out. Mitch's path mirrors the movie's arc: a natural "glue guy" who valued connection, struggled to find it, and eventually turned that pain into a career helping families navigate exactly what Mei and her mom couldn't. Using Turning Red as our lens, we explore why Mei's red panda is both a puberty metaphor and a symbol of every thought and feeling she learned wasn't safe to share — and what breaks that cycle across generations. HIGHLIGHTS * Why the red panda is actually a clinical-grade metaphor for puberty and suppressed adolescent emotion * The difference between empathy and enmeshment — and the one scene in Turning Red that shows enmeshment perfectly * Why your teen's peer relationships are developmentally essential (even when you don't love their friends) * What it means to "parent from the inside out" — and why your unresolved wounds become your kid's triggers * How generational patterns get passed down and what it takes to actually break them * The dad's quiet line in Turning Red that might be the most important parenting advice in the whole film ABOUT MITCHELL ACTON: Mitchell Acton is a licensed clinical social worker and the Clinical Director at Kane Counseling Center in the Salt Lake City area. With a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Utah, Mitch began his career working with at-risk teens at Gateway Academy in Draper. Known as the "glue guy" in his own friend group growing up, he now brings that same instinct for connection into his clinical work with families, couples, and individuals — specializing in adolescent development, emotion suppression, enmeshment, and healthy family systems. He's also a dad of three navigating all of this in real time. ABOUT YES AND LAND: Yes And Land explores the leadership lessons, relationship dynamics, and hard choices hidden in the stories we love. Hosted by Ryan Gregerson, a family law attorney at RCG Law Group, Disney enthusiast, and business coach for law firm owners at Altium Advisors, each episode connects familiar narratives to real-world wisdom you can actually use. New episodes every Thursday.

4. juni 20261 h 11 min

Inside Out and Why Nobody Listens | BJ Oldroyd

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