Cultivate Contentment

I Love My Life But Something Isn’t Working

This episode has been sitting with me while I’ve been working on Back to Herself… not because I was trying to come up with something to say, but because I kept noticing this same feeling come up again and again in conversations. It’s that stage where nothing in your life looks wrong. Everything is working. Your days are full, your family is cared for, the farm is moving, and on paper it all makes sense. But underneath that, something doesn’t feel quite right anymore. It doesn’t hit when life is busy. In those seasons, you don’t have time to think about it. It shows up in the quiet moments… when you’re doing the school pick-up, folding the washing, sitting in the ute for a minute. Those small, in-between moments where your mind drifts and you catch yourself thinking… is this it? And then just as quickly, you move on. This episode sits in that space. The space before anything changes. Before you’ve said it out loud. Before you’ve figured out what to do next. Because sometimes the hardest part isn’t that something isn’t working… it’s admitting it. We talk about the tension of loving your life but still wanting more, the guilt that comes with that, and the fear of what it might mean if you actually let yourself be honest about it. If you’ve ever felt like something is slightly off but you can’t quite explain why, or you’ve had that quiet thought of “I want more… or something” and then pushed it away, this episode will feel familiar. And if you are sitting in that space right now, this is exactly why I created Back to Herself. Not for when everything is clear, but for this stage… when you can feel it, but you haven’t quite known what to do with it yet. The waitlist is open now, and early bird opens next week. ---------------------------------------- In this episode, I talk about: * The quiet awareness that something doesn’t feel right, even when life looks good on the outside * Why this feeling shows up in the quiet moments, not the busy ones * The small, passing thoughts we brush off (is this it? what if I did something different?) * The difference between comparison and curiosity * The weight of saying “I want more” and the guilt that comes with it * How we soften or explain away what we’re really feeling * Outgrowing the version of yourself that built your current life * When routines and habits that once supported you start to feel restrictive * The fear of what change might mean for your identity, your family, and your role * Why we stay where we are, even when it doesn’t feel quite right anymore * The “in-between” space before anything changes * Why admitting it is often the hardest part Back to Herself Waitlist [https://jessknight.myflodesk.com/waitlist] Contact Jess Instagram @thejess.knight [https://www.instagram.com/thejess.knight/] www.jessknight.com [http://www.jessknight.com]

When Responsibility Becomes Your Whole Identity

This episode came from a season where everything just felt… full. Calving, sickness in the house, the boys starting football, in-laws away, building Back to Herself in the background. Nothing unusual on its own, but all sitting together at once. And in that, I started noticing something I think a lot of women experience, but don’t always name. How responsibility doesn’t just sit in your life… it slowly becomes your life. From the outside, it often looks like everything is working. You’re showing up, getting things done, holding everything together. People tell you you’re doing well, that you handle so much, that you make it look easy. And maybe part of you believes that, because you are doing it. But underneath that, there can be a quieter realisation. That your life has slowly become a list of roles and responsibilities. Mum. Partner. Farmer. Worker. Community member. The one who remembers everything. The one who manages everything. And somewhere in that… the person underneath gets quieter. In this episode, I talk through the moment I first really saw this in myself, sitting in a leadership program where I was asked to describe who I was outside of my roles… and realised I couldn’t. I share how becoming the stay-at-home parent led to a natural progression of taking on more and more responsibility over time, how I became the “default person” for everything in our family, and how that role, while necessary and even valuable, slowly became the framework I lived inside. We also explore the idea of an “identity state” — the roles and stories we create about who we are, and how over time, they can become so fixed that stepping outside of them feels uncomfortable, or even a bit scary. This isn’t just about motherhood. This can happen in any area of life. On the farm, in a job, in community roles. Anywhere responsibility keeps building without you really noticing… until one day it feels like too much, or like there’s no space left for you. This episode isn’t about fixing that. It’s about recognising it. Because often, this is the point where things start to shift. ---------------------------------------- IN THIS EPISODE, I COVER: * How responsibility can slowly become your whole identity * Why capable women often become the “default person” for everything * The natural progression of taking on more (and why you don’t notice it happening) * The hidden weight of responsibility without recognition * The concept of an “identity state” and how roles become who we are * The tension of stepping outside a role you’ve lived in for so long * Why this stage often feels like competence from the outside * The small, quiet signs that you might have lost touch with yourself * The question that often begins the shift: when did I last do something just because I wanted to? If this episode felt familiar, if you found yourself in parts of it, this is exactly the space that Back to Herself is designed for. It’s not about walking away from your responsibilities or becoming someone new. It’s about creating space to reconnect with who you are underneath all of it, and starting to shift your life in a way that includes you again. Spots are limited, and women on the waitlist will receive access to a special discount when doors open. Back to Herself Waitlist [https://jessknight.myflodesk.com/waitlist] Contact Jess Instagram @thejess.knight [https://www.instagram.com/thejess.knight/] www.jessknight.com [http://www.jessknight.com]

What I Didn’t Expect About Raising Boys

In this episode, I’m talking through something that’s been sitting with me lately — what it’s actually like raising three boys as they grow out of little kid years and into their own personalities. My oldest has just started high school. My middle son is nearly finished primary school. My youngest is nine and still soft in that way only nine-year-olds can be. And I’m realising that the picture I had — even unconsciously — about what “raising boys” would look like doesn’t quite match reality. Yes, our house is loud. There are cricket bags in the hallway, football boots under the couch, Minecraft battles in the lounge room and someone being tackled in the kitchen at least once a day. The overstimulation is real. But underneath the noise and the sport and the wrestling, there’s so much more. There are frogs and mealworms. There are space facts and wormholes. There are big emotions and quiet worries about fitting in. There are questions about body image and confidence that I didn’t expect boys to carry in the same way girls do. There are conversations at the kitchen bench about anxiety and friendship and what to do when something feels hard. This episode isn’t about parenting advice. It’s about releasing expectations. About letting go of the unspoken “script” for what boys are meant to be like. About recognising that even in a house full of sport and noise, each child is wired differently. I share what surprised me, what overwhelmed me when I was younger and didn’t understand little boys at all, and what I’m seeing now as my sons become their own people. If you’re raising boys — especially in a loud, busy, rural household — I hope this feels like recognition. IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT: * Why homes with multiple boys can feel overstimulating * The stereotype of the “boy mum” house — and what it misses * Raising three very different personalities under one roof * Supporting a child who doesn’t fit the typical sport mould * The emotional side of boys that often goes unnoticed * Body image, confidence and fitting in during the teen years * The importance of safe adults outside the family Releasing expectations and letting boys be who they are @thejess.knight [https://www.instagram.com/thejess.knight/] Join the Back to Herself Waitlist [https://jessknight.myflodesk.com/waitlist]

The Power of Connection and Why We Have to Choose It

Last week I attended a 900-person agriculture conference and found myself recognising so many familiar faces — people I only see because I chose to leave the farm and show up. It got me thinking about connection. How it doesn’t just happen. We have to choose it. In this episode, I reflect on the nerves of my first big conference, reconnecting with a woman I met five years ago, and how my view of women’s circles has shifted from “woo woo” to deeply practical and grounding. Connection doesn’t have to be a big event. It might be music time at the library, asking another mum for coffee, joining a class, or sending a message on Instagram. But it does require effort. If you’ve been craving connection in this season of rural life, this episode is your gentle reminder that you’re not alone — and that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is simply show up. IN THIS EPISODE, I TALK ABOUT: * Walking into a 900-person conference and recognising familiar faces * The nerves of attending my first big ag event and feeling like I didn’t belong * Reconnecting with a woman I met five years ago and seeing how much we’ve both changed * Trying to fit into a corporate agriculture leadership “box” * Flying to America alone for a retreat and being welcomed into deep connection * Why women’s circles aren’t as “woo woo” as I once thought * The history and purpose of women gathering together * The physical shift I felt from heavy to light in circle * The fear that stops us from making the effort * Small, practical ways to create connection in everyday rural life * Why connection doesn’t just happen — we have to choose it * An invitation to join the Back to Herself waitlist @thejess.knight [https://www.instagram.com/thejess.knight/] Join the Back to Herself Waitlist [https://jessknight.myflodesk.com/waitlist]

Living Life for the Ordinary Days Not the Big Moments

I recorded this episode because I couldn’t stop thinking about how much of life is made up of the days we barely notice. Not the big moments. Not the holidays or milestones or the things we plan and count down to. Just the ordinary days. The school runs. The washing. The late nights. The conversations we half-listen to because we’re already thinking about what’s next. This isn’t a new idea. I’ve heard versions of it for years. I’ve nodded along to it. I’ve repeated it. But I don’t think I ever really lived it. I think I’ve been living like today is the obstacle and the good stuff is coming later. Like life will feel better once things slow down, or settle, or reach whatever imaginary point I’ve been waiting for. Turning forty has stirred something in me. So has farm life. So has motherhood. So has sitting on the couch at the end of another long day and asking, what is this all for? And realising — almost painfully — that this is what it’s for. These days. These moments. The ordinary ones I keep rushing past. In this episode, I talk honestly about the grief that can come with realising how much time slips by unnoticed. About how easy it is to live for the big moments and miss the life that’s actually happening. About what I’m noticing now — not because I’ve figured it out, but because I don’t want to keep living like this bit doesn’t count. This episode is for the farm mum who is building a life for her family and quietly wondering when she gets to enjoy it. It’s not about fixing anything. It’s just about staying. IN THIS EPISODE, I TALK ABOUT: * Why most of our lives are made up of ordinary days — and what happens when we treat them like they don’t matter * How living for holidays, milestones, or “later” can pull us out of the life we’re already in * A moment on the farm that made it painfully clear what we’re actually doing all of this for * The grief that can come from realising how much time passes while we’re rushing * What I’m learning about finding joy and meaning in the everyday — not perfectly, just more honestly There’s no takeaway. No checklist. Just something to sit with as you move through your own ordinary days. Connect with Jess: @thejess.knight [https://www.instagram.com/thejess.knight/] Join the Grounded Journey Waitlist [https://jessknight.myflodesk.com/waitlist]