How to support family when they want to leave the church- gaslighting isn't helpful

Are you thinking "Celestial"

In today’s episode Ashley and I talk about how the church’s latest teachings of not talking to those who “attack the truth” and “don’t question your testimony.” They have deemed it “thinking Celestial” and it is the path to playing the long game of life and attaining what you desire in the afterlife. Whether you find peace within the church, are questioning it, or are ready to run for the hills, this episode will help you decipher what truly feels good to you and just because you choose differently than the church, it doesn’t mean the devil has taken you over. The exact opposite has been true for both Ashley and I and we offer you a way of evaluating your own life, how the church makes you feel about yourself, and your mental state so that you can make a decision based on YOUR truth. Find Ashley here:  Website: https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/ [https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/]  Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/ [https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/]   Find Amanda Here:   Insta: https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios [https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios]        Website: https://www.amandaclark.biz [https://www.amandaclark.biz/]       Free Breathwork Session: https://TheBreathworkMethod.as.me/free-integrative [https://thebreathworkmethod.as.me/free-integrative]

You don't have to have sex on your wedding night

Oof, today we are diving into another off-limit topic…. Sex yet again! Today Ashley and I open up about the trauma that having sex when you are not ready causes. In the LDS religion you are taught to save yourself for your wedding night with your husband, but the church also teaches that no self-exploration, intimacy with someone else, or sexual thoughts should be entertained beforehand which leads to a lot of fear on some bride’s wedding nights. Although Ashley and I didn’t have the experience of not having sex before marriage, we share our experience with it in our relationships as well as things that have been shared by others. If there is one thing we want you to take away from this episode, it’s that open communication around it is key and if you can’t have this conversation with your soon to be partner…. Perhaps it’s time to open that up and we are letting you know how!   Find Ashley here:  Website: https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/ [https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/]  Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/ [https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/]   Find Amanda Here:   Insta: https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios [https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios]        Website: https://www.amandaclark.biz [https://www.amandaclark.biz/]       Free Breathwork Session: https://TheBreathworkMethod.as.me/free-integrative [https://thebreathworkmethod.as.me/free-integrative]

How to support family when they want to leave the church- gaslighting isn't helpful

In this podcast episode, Ashley and Amanda talk about the challenges and fears that individuals face when deciding to step away from their religious community.  They discuss how people may feel judged or criticized for their choices and the process of shedding ingrained beliefs and practices, such as wearing sacred garments. The conversation also dives into the importance of empathy and understanding in these situations especially from family members who don’t understand or are still in it.  It’s about creating a safe and non-judgmental space for open conversations and Ashley and Amanda offer advice on how to navigate these discussions with compassion and curiosity instead of reacting with fear. The podcast episode highlights the complexity of these situations, acknowledging the emotional struggles on both sides and the importance of maintaining strong family bonds, regardless of religious differences.  It’s about not projecting your stuff onto someone else, but instead turning inward and asking yourself why you are feeling that way first. Find Amanda Here:   Insta: https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios/ [https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios/]       [https://www.amandaclark.biz/] Web: https://www.amandaclark.biz [https://www.amandaclark.biz/]       Free Breathwork Session: https://TheBreathworkMethod.as.me/free-integrative [https://thebreathworkmethod.as.me/free-integrative]    Find Ashley here: Website: https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/ [https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/]  Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/ [https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/]

Families are forever if...

Ashley and Amanda talk about their experiences growing up in a high-demand religion. They share their perspectives and trauma associated with their upbringing in the church. Ashley discusses how her dad wasn't a member until she was 10. She shares feeling the absence of a priesthood holder in their household and the confusion it caused her as a child and how the church's teachings implied that her father was "less than" because he didn't live by their standards. Amanda talks about the complexities of leaving such a tightly-knit religious community. She touches on the most recent church conference, which had a divisive impact, and they discuss the conditional love and judgment that can occur within religious contexts. They were taught that families are forever but only if we live by the set of standards and rules the church has in place and that we are not taught that families get to be forever just because…. There’s stipulations and conditions on that according to church rhetoric.  The conversation highlights the challenges and nuances of leaving a high-demand religion and the process of healing and self-discovery that follows.   Find Amanda Here:   Insta: https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios/ [https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios/]       [https://www.amandaclark.biz/] Web: https://www.amandaclark.biz [https://www.amandaclark.biz/]       Free Breathwork Session: https://TheBreathworkMethod.as.me/free-integrative [https://thebreathworkmethod.as.me/free-integrative]    Find Ashley here:  Website: https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/ [https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/]  Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/ [https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/]

Church isn't a fix all for problems

In this episode, we talk about how growing up in our religious community affected different parts of our lives, like relationships, self-esteem, and mental health.  We start off with the misconception that following religious rules can magically solve all our marriage, sex, and self-worth issues. It's like we were told, "Just pray more, read the scriptures, and visit the temple more often." We talk about how this advice often makes things worse instead of better. Growing up in this religion would often leave us in conversations where others would say things like,  "If only you guys went to church more often" or "Your dad needs to hold the priesthood." People would suggest that more temple visits and prayers were the cure for family problems. But the reality was, we were doing just fine. We also talked about the pressure to fit into a narrow religious mold. You know, the whole idea that you have to be the perfect member of your faith, hold specific roles, and follow certain rules. That pressure can mess with your head, making you feel not good enough, especially when you feel judged by your own community. We raised some red flags about how the church handles mental health, especially when untrained clergy try to tackle deep-seated issues that should be dealt with by real therapists.  We encourage you to think about your values and find ways to support your faith wherever you are at in a way that aligns with what feels right to you. You're worthy just as you are, no matter what religious expectations say. We share our own journeys here + encourage you to do some soul-searching, get help when needed, and rethink your relationship with your faith.   Find Amanda Here:   https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios/ [https://www.instagram.com/amandaclarkstudios/]      Website:  https://www.amandaclark.biz [https://www.amandaclark.biz/]       Free Breathwork Session: https://thebreathworkmethod.as.me/free-integrativehttps://TheBreathworkMethod.as.me/free-integrative [https://TheBreathworkMethod.as.me/free-integrative]    Find Ashley here:  Website: https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/ [https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/]  Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/ [https://www.instagram.com/ashleybucknerlmft/]