#124: How to Take Feedback Without Getting Defensive

#124: How to Take Feedback Without Getting Defensive

Get 20% off any STSI course with code FEEDBACK20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore what happens when someone gives you difficult feedback—and why your first reaction may not be the most useful one. Starting with a question about being perceived as “argumentative,” they unpack the difference between reacting and understanding, how our internal voice can interfere with genuine listening, and why self-awareness is one of the most powerful skills we can develop. The conversation dives into metacognition, emotional reactions, feedback, defensive thinking, and the importance of separating reality from the stories we tell ourselves about it. They also explore how many of our thoughts, judgments, and habits originate from voices we've adopted over time, and why curiosity—not self-criticism—is the key to understanding ourselves more clearly. If you want to communicate better, receive feedback more effectively, and develop greater agency over your thoughts, feelings, and actions, this episode offers a powerful systems thinking framework for doing exactly that.

#123: Think It Through: Why Smart Teams Still Don’t Work Together

Get 20% off any STSI course with code TEAM20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University answer a common leadership question: why do talented people often struggle to work together as a team? They explore the difference between a group and a true team, showing how friction, duplicate effort, competing priorities, and communication breakdowns often stem from one root cause: misaligned mental models. Using systems thinking and DSRP, they break down how people can use the same words, work on the same problem, and still be operating from completely different understandings of reality. The conversation explores shared mental models, perspective taking, priorities, communication, and why the strongest teams are not built through harder work, but through better understanding. If you lead a team, work on a team, or want to improve collaboration in any area of life, this episode offers a powerful systems thinking framework for getting everyone moving in the same direction.

#122: What Great Leaders Understand About Culture

Get 20% off any STSI course with code CULTURE20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore a powerful idea: culture may be the single greatest advantage an organization can create—and most leaders fundamentally misunderstand how it works. Starting with an unexpected question about marketing, they unpack why changing minds—not promoting products—is the real work behind both marketing and leadership. They explore how organizational culture emerges whether you shape it or not, why shared mental models matter more than policies or processes, and how leaders can intentionally build cultures that create alignment, adaptability, and better decision-making. They also dive into vision, mission, incentives, culture campaigns, and why organizations with the same people and same resources can produce radically different outcomes simply because of culture. If you’ve ever wondered why some organizations thrive while others struggle despite having similar resources, this episode offers a systems thinking lens for understanding what’s really happening.

#121: Why “I’m Trying” Is Often a Cop-Out

Get 20% off any STSI course with code YODA20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore the difference between “trying” and “doing”—and why that distinction matters more than most people think. They unpack how words like “trying” or “I didn’t mean to” can function as subtle ways of avoiding reality, ownership, and feedback. Through examples from parenting, communication, goals, and relationships, they show how systems thinking helps us see the mental models underneath our language and behavior. The conversation also dives into listening, integrity, and the difference between reacting automatically and choosing your actions with awareness. If you want better communication, stronger ownership, and more alignment between what you say and what you do, this episode gives you a sharper way to think about it.

#120: You’re Already Thinking — Just Badly

Get 20% off any STSI course with code SYSTHINK20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University tackle three common misconceptions that stop people from becoming systems thinkers. They explore the difference between unconsciously using DSRP patterns and purposefully applying them with awareness, why more information does not automatically lead to better understanding, and how hidden “externalities” distort the way we make decisions. Through examples ranging from neuromarketing and AI to education, relationships, and organizational leadership, they show how people often miss the underlying structure and patterns driving outcomes. The conversation also dives into the Love Reality Loop, the limits of the “5 Ws,” and why failing to think structurally creates enormous hidden costs in time, energy, relationships, and decision-making. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by information, trapped in repeating patterns, or skeptical about whether systems thinking is worth the effort, this episode explains why learning to see structure may be one of the highest-leverage skills you can develop.