The Cult I Left Behind

100 - Goodbye for Now

One hundred episodes. Two and a half years. This is the moment when we pause and look back, say thank you, and close this chapter that is so dear to our hearts. Amanda and Kyle take a trip down memory lane, pay tribute to guests who came on the show, and share two important letters - one to the person who made this show possible, and one for you: the people who made it real because you showed up, week after week. Much love to each of you.  Stay on the journey with Amanda as she pivots to a new show: The Healing Life [https://open.spotify.com/episode/2ce9yDxTuasD3QxsVwXfyW?si=DsFN2zuzQu-kS0LUaTQXLw] Support the show [https://www.buymeacoffee.com/cultileftbehind]

99 - What Kyle Knows Now

We've been crying for days, and we're not done yet. In this penultimate episode, Amanda and Kyle reflect on 2.5 years and nearly 100 episodes of The Cult I Left Behind — what it cost, what it gave back, and what they know now that they didn't when they hit record for the first time. Amanda shares what this show taught her about her own healing, her foundational wounds around family and belonging, and a moment at the dining room table that gave her something she'd waited almost 40 years for. Then it's Kyle's turn. For 99 episodes he's been the listener, the witness, the steady presence beside Amanda. Today we celebrate him for modeling what it means to be a safe person for thousands of listeners. Before we close this chapter, Amanda turns the mic around to honor what he's brought to this show and the standard he's set for all of us. This one's going to require tissues. You've been warned. Episode 100 — the finale for now — drops in two weeks. Support the show [https://www.buymeacoffee.com/cultileftbehind]

98 - Good Girls Don’t Scream

Many of us who were raised to be good little girls are facing some hard realizations these days. This episode is a stark look at the links between cults, high-control religion, and sex trafficking rings, and their impact on girls and women. Amanda grew up inside the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) cult, a high-control religious system where girls were trained to be compliant, deferential, and self-policing. Being “good” meant protecting the system. It meant absorbing harm quietly. It meant never being the problem. In this conversation, Amanda and Kyle explore how “good girl” conditioning doesn’t just operate inside cults. It operates anywhere power is protected and girls are expected to stay agreeable. They talk about what it means to be “good” in these systems, about silence, about trauma in the body, and about why watching powerful men avoid consequences can feel destabilizing for women who were trained to keep everyone comfortable at their own expense.  Support the show [https://www.buymeacoffee.com/cultileftbehind]

One-Week Delay

We're focusing on our little family this week, but will release back-to-back episodes to make up for the delay. See you in a week!  Support the show [https://www.buymeacoffee.com/cultileftbehind]

97 - Fear: The Foundation of Cults

Fear lives in the stories we tell ourselves, the categories we cling to, and the way we decide who is safe and who is “other.” In this episode, Amanda and Kyle examine how fear quietly shapes worldviews in cults, families, belief systems, politics, and everyday thinking. Amanda reflects on a question listeners have asked for years: How did your parents end up in a cult? Her answer is simple, but unsettling: fear. Together, Amanda and Kyle explore how fear and high-control systems operate in strikingly similar ways. They simplify complexity. They demand certainty. They divide the world into clean categories: good and bad, safe and dangerous, us and them. Over time, those categories harden into ideology and, eventually, into identity. This conversation also looks inward. How does fear get internalized? How do we inherit beliefs without examining them? How does learned fear turn into a “cult of one,” where data no longer penetrates and unhelpful beliefs go unquestioned? This episode invites listeners to slow down, notice what fear is doing inside them, and gently interrogate the beliefs they’ve been taught to protect. If you’ve ever wondered how people come to believe what they believe, this episode offers language, clarity, and a slower, steadier way of noticing what fear is doing inside us. Support the show [https://www.buymeacoffee.com/cultileftbehind]