Tomorrow Isn't Promised

Ep. 4 - Sharon's Story

In this episode, Sharon shares about the devastating death of her 20 year old brother when she was 14 and her chaotic teenage life that followed. It affected her mental health and later she had post natal depression and a further blip in her life in her 30's. Mental illness is discussed alongside the stigma associated with mental illness at the time and the negative words used to describe people suffering from mental illness.  Sharon describes a life with her loving supportive husband with whom she had four girls.  Christmas is difficult as her brother died a few days before. The body knows the score of that day of tragedy that she will never forget. She blamed God for who she thought killed her brother. A roller coaster journey Sharon describes herself as a warrior now. Life is a battle but she is overcoming with Jesus. She cites rev 21:4 - "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” She shares how she is living life to the full now with Jesus that it doesn't just have to be in heaven in the future. She now has hope and the dark tunnel which she was once walking through when her brother died has gone. Sharon finishes by sharing a poem of hope written by a friend's daughter before she died in her 20's. https://alpha.org.uk/try [https://alpha.org.uk/try] The Greatest Story Ever told Bear Grylls: https://amzn.eu/d/4qLMLsp [https://amzn.eu/d/4qLMLsp] For listeners in the York area: In the New Year a Bereavement Cafe will be starting up on the 4th Tuesday of every month at St. Thomas Church, Lowther Street. It will be From 5-7 pm during term time and a time to share stories, to listen and support one another. For more info contact ⁠⁠info@thetravellingchaplain.com⁠⁠ [info@thetravellingchaplain.com] Content Warning: This podcast includes open discussions about death, grief, and loss, which some listeners may find distressing. Listener discretion is advised. Conversations are based on our guests’ individual experience, intended for informational and personal reflection purposes only and not a substitute for professional mental health or medical support. If you are struggling or need help, please reach out to a qualified professional or contact local support services. ⁠Produced by The Podcast Company.⁠ [https://thepodcastcompany.co.uk/]

Ep. 3 - Jo's Story

In this episode Jo shares how her husband dies suddenly from a heart attack. She talks about how shock carries you through in the first year and how you want to support your children. Friends and family are usually close at hand too. Second year is the hardest when reality hits.  School support was hit and miss. There was an ELSA support who listened. You have to be good cop and bad cop when you are parenting alone. In some ways you don't have the issue of not agreeing with your husband on matters however when difficult situations happen you are left with dealing with that alone.  Her son enjoyed school and appreciated the routine. It's okay for children to be upset as they will be. When wanting to offer help offer practical help rather than say get in touch if you need anything. It's helpful to offer to pick up the children from school or take a lasagna round. The importance of self-care. Take time out for you as a parent. Do what you like to do and try to meet up with other people in the same position.  Eat cake and read Charlie Mackesy books. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. This helps you to see your not alone. https://share.google/NvUo3uUOQuiWDjzvy⁠ [https://share.google/NvUo3uUOQuiWDjzvy]  Jo set up Bereaved Children Support to support Children and families. There is talk of a choir starting up soon. https://www.bcsy.org.uk/ [https://www.bcsy.org.uk/] Go to www.childbereavementuk.org [http://www.childbereavementuk.org/] for more helpful resources . A dear friend shares both primary and secondary schools were excellent with their support so it's encouraging to hear things are getting better in schools. I have had postive feedback from parents in the school where I have worked where children have felt supported as they have been able to share their experiences in a safe place. In Sept 2026 full implementation will be required for Grief and Bereavement to be included in RSHE in schools .  This is a huge step forward.  Jo gave some other recommendations for show notes York Bereavement Alliance is a collective of bereavement services looking to build a directory so that people can find the support they need. The project is headed by Chris Charters who is a social worker at the hospice.https://www.yorksj.ac.uk/working-with-the-community/communities-centre/bereavement-services/#BereavementCafe [https://www.yorksj.ac.uk/working-with-the-community/communities-centre/bereavement-services/#BereavementCafe]https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org [https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/] Other helpful resources  Winstons Wish https://winstonswish.org/ Myton Hospice https://www.mytonhospice.org/ [http://www.mytonhospice.org/]  Martins house https://www.martinhouse.org.uk/ [http://www.martinhouse.org.uk/] St Leonards hospice https://stleonardshospice.org.uk/ have also been great providers of support for families. I had my first hospice experience as I supported my dear neighbour Cliff in the last days of his life in the summer. The care was incredible and the surroundings were beautiful so excellent to hear there is so much support around.  For listeners in the York area: In the New Year a Bereavement Cafe will be starting up on the 4th Tuesday of every month at St. Thomas Church, Lowther Street. It will be From 5-7 pm during term time and a time to share stories, to listen and support one another. For more info contact ⁠info@thetravellingchaplain.com⁠ [info@thetravellingchaplain.com] Content Warning: This podcast includes open discussions about death, grief, and loss, which some listeners may find distressing. Listener discretion is advised. Conversations are based on our guests’ individual experience, intended for informational and personal reflection purposes only and not a substitute for professional mental health or medical support. If you are struggling or need help, please reach out to a qualified professional or contact local support services. ⁠Produced by The Podcast Company.⁠ [https://thepodcastcompany.co.uk/]

Ep. 2 - Ruth's Story

In this episode Ruth shares about her miscarriages and the trauma and heartache on a family. Whist there is less organising to do in terms of funeral arrangements the grief for a life that was loved and wanted can be incredibly painful and made harder to bear when a medical report states 'missed abortion'. In summer 2024 this changed and people can now go on the government website and claim a Baby Loss Certificate to affirm that their baby who they have named was loved and wanted.  Ruth now co-leads The Bereavement Journey programme with John at the Belfry Church in York helping others to navigate their Bereavement Journey. She also shares about death of her older sister and the pain of what could have been. The need to step in the gap and try your best to be the surrogate grandmother that your sister wasn't able to be.  Ataloss.org (National Charity) - To find a Bereavement Journey programme near you go to https://www.ataloss.org/ [https://www.ataloss.org/] Whilst there you will also be guided to other helpful bereavement support resources including help before death, help at the time of death and help later on.   For listeners in the York area: In the New Year a Bereavement Cafe will be starting up on the 4th Tuesday of every month at St. Thomas Church, Lowther Street. It will be From 5-7 pm during term time and a time to share stories, to listen and support one another. For more info contact ⁠info@thetravellingchaplain.com⁠ [info@thetravellingchaplain.com] Content Warning: This podcast includes open discussions about death, grief, and loss, which some listeners may find distressing. Listener discretion is advised. Conversations are based on our guests’ individual experience, intended for informational and personal reflection purposes only and not a substitute for professional mental health or medical support. If you are struggling or need help, please reach out to a qualified professional or contact local support services. ⁠Produced by The Podcast Company.⁠ [https://thepodcastcompany.co.uk/]

Ep. 1 - Barbara's Story

In this episode we see Barbara dealing with the sudden death of her husband and navigating funeral arrangements whilst in a fog.  As her teenagers push boundaries Barbara puts on her big girl pants, enforces the discipline her girls need and makes them her priority. She keeps busy whilst working for 'Singer' as a seamstress. Barbara never questions why and admits she doesn't know why.  She knows there are people worse of then her and she is getting out there enjoying life to the full.  Barbara chooses to be strong for her girls and doesn't lose her faith.  * Born in village in Newton Ouse during the Second World War. * Achieved her dream of being a seamstress and working at prestigious company 'Singer'. * Married Mike at 21. * Mike's brother died in the Jan a year  before Mike. At the time when Mike was organising his brother's sudden funeral arrangements in York he mentioned to Barbara if I die I would like the same arrangements as my brother. That's what Barbara did when Mike died suddenly after just a few days of being unwell.  * There were challenges bringing up young teenagers but she needed to be strict with them and they thanked her later. They are now flourishing with families of their own * Nowadays you may get more help. Everything was a fog as Mike's death was so sudden. It was like she was like she was looking in on what was happening. Her daughters were her priority and she kept herself busy with work at Singer.  Barbara travels with her teenage daughters to Swaziland to visit a cousin living out there. It was a big undertaking at the time but worth it. Whilst out there, there was a death within the community and others are grieving. The trip was an eye opener to the fact that there is someone worse off than you. Barbara never lost her faith. 'No point walking around with a chip on your shoulder' as she says. 'He is in a better place than we are and there will be a big party when we get there' In reflecting on being on the Podcast Barbara says 'if it brings a grain of comfort to one person it will have been worth doing.  See here a Ted Talk of a widow choosing to do the same and live her best life ever: https://youtu.be/T_rcCwZPiEs?si=zNjT0Q1o93AeW7DG [https://youtu.be/T_rcCwZPiEs?si=zNjT0Q1o93AeW7DG] For listeners in the York area: In the New Year a Bereavement Cafe will be starting up on the 4th Tuesday of every month at St. Thomas Church, Lowther Street. It will be From 5-7 pm during term time and a time to share stories, to listen and support one another. For more info contact info@thetravellingchaplain.com [info@thetravellingchaplain.com] Content Warning: This podcast includes open discussions about death, grief, and loss, which some listeners may find distressing. Listener discretion is advised. Conversations are based on our guests’ individual experience, intended for informational and personal reflection purposes only and not a substitute for professional mental health or medical support. If you are struggling or need help, please reach out to a qualified professional or contact local support services. Produced by The Podcast Company. [https://thepodcastcompany.co.uk/]