Toxic Positivity at Work: When “Helpful” Starts to Hurt

Toxic Positivity at Work: When “Helpful” Starts to Hurt

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] That sinking feeling when your manager posts a “helpful” reminder in the team chat isn’t always a sign that you’re being “too sensitive.” Sometimes, it’s your nervous system recognising a pattern you’ve been conditioned to ignore.  I’m Cheryl Paris, and today I’m addressing a modern workplace issue that lurks behind the facade of professionalism: toxic positivity, which may seem sensible on paper but feels like quiet supervision in your body. We’ll discuss the small moments that accumulate into work stress, workplace anxiety, and an increased risk of burnout. This includes missing information, limited ownership, ideas that travel upward without your acknowledgement, and the pressure to remain calm, grateful, and relentlessly constructive.  I’ll explain how the phrase “assume positive intent” can serve as a conversation stopper, how high-achieving women often find themselves acting both as detectives and suspects, and what I refer to as the "umbrella manager dynamic," where praise is shared while placing blame is deflected. Then, we’ll get practical. You’ll learn some simple tools to help you communicate more accurately without needing to be overly positive. These include a three-column note format (facts, meaning, clarification), a brief factual log to prevent late-night rumination, and concise one-sentence replies that don’t require apologies or elaborate defences.  We will conclude with three guiding principles for clearer communication and setting boundaries: integrity, simplicity, and control. If this resonated with you and provides language for something you’ve been struggling to articulate, please subscribe, share this episode with someone who would benefit, and leave a review so that more people can discover the show. What pattern at work are you finally ready to identify? The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

Work Stress Keeps Coming Back: What Your Trigger May Be Trying to Tell You

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] With Amy Vincze One person at work can flip a switch in us and suddenly we’re not in a normal conversation anymore, we’re in panic, shrinking, or trying to disappear. That’s the moment we unpack today: why the colleague who “shouldn’t” have so much power over our mood might be activating an older emotional wound, and how we can calm the nervous system quickly and safely.  I’m joined by Amy to talk about EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) as a practical tool for workplace stress and work anxiety. We walk through three grounding questions you can ask yourself when the same stress keeps coming back: does this person remind me of someone from my past, what exactly about their behaviour makes me feel unsafe, and what is the real threat I’m reacting to? From fear of judgement and criticism to imposter syndrome and fear of rejection, we show how getting specific helps you tap on the true driver of the reaction instead of staying stuck in vague overwhelm.  We also cover how often to practice tapping when you’re starting, why repetition lowers intensity faster, and an important caution around severe OCD where tapping may need a gentler approach with professional guidance. If you’re new to EFT, Amy shares a smart starting point: work through your “top fears” first, because symptoms like procrastination often trace back to deeper fear of failure, not being enough, or not belonging. If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with a friend who’s carrying work stress, and leave a review. What workplace trigger do you want to reset first?  As an EFT specialist myself, I was especially keen to explore this with Amy in a grounded, practical way for people dealing with work stress, anxiety and emotional overwhelm.  About Amy Vincze Amy Vincze is an EFT tapping coach with more than 16 years of experience and the founder of the Soar with Tapping App. She helps people use tapping as a practical self-regulation tool for stress, anxiety, emotional overwhelm and recurring emotional patterns.  In this three-part series, Amy joins Cheryl to explore what tapping is, how it may help people steady themselves during workplace stress, and how repeated work anxiety triggers can be approached with more curiosity, safety and choice. Website: https://soarwithtapping.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-vincze-1a86063 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soarwithtapping/ Guest Resource Soar with Tapping App Podcast Special Listeners can visit the podcast special page to find a code for 50% off the first year of an annual subscription to the Soar with Tapping App. https://soarwithtapping.com/podcast-special/  The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

Anxiety Spirals at Work? Here’s How to Press Pause

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] With Amy Vincze Two minutes can make all the difference between walking into a meeting filled with adrenaline and entering with the calm needed to think and speak clearly.  We’re discussing EFT tapping for workplace stress and anxiety, guiding you through a discreet, do-anywhere routine designed specifically for those moments when nerves spike right before a presentation or high-pressure conversation. If public speaking makes your voice shake, your hands tremble, or your mind go blank, you’ll hear a practical script that you can quietly run through during a bathroom break or in a quiet corner just before you go on stage. We also address something often overlooked in self-help advice: forcing positivity can backfire.  Instead, we explore why acknowledging your fear is beneficial, how saying “I’m scared” can help calm your swirling thoughts, and how tapping can redirect your attention back to your body, allowing your nervous system to settle naturally. The goal isn’t to pretend you feel confident; it’s to create a sense of safety that enables you to show up and do the task at hand. From there, we broaden our discussion to patterns that many high-functioning individuals, especially women, are all too familiar with, such as over-preparing, over-explaining, or over-apologising to feel secure.  We talk about how tapping can help neutralise the fears behind these habits rather than merely covering them up. Amy also introduces her app, Soar We Tap In, which includes quick “boost” options, longer scripts for dealing with overwhelm and anxiety, and a 14-day free trial to explore the complete library.  If you’re looking for a grounded, practical way to manage work-related stress in real time, hit play, subscribe, share with a friend who dreads presentations, and leave a review sharing your biggest work stress trigger.  As an EFT specialist myself, I was especially keen to explore this with Amy in a grounded, practical way for people dealing with work stress, anxiety and emotional overwhelm.  About Amy Vincze Amy Vincze is an EFT tapping coach with more than 16 years of experience and the founder of the Soar with Tapping App. She helps people use tapping as a practical self-regulation tool for stress, anxiety, emotional overwhelm and recurring emotional patterns.  Amy joins Cheryl to explore what tapping is, how it may help people steady themselves during workplace stress, and how repeated work-anxiety triggers can be approached with more curiosity, safety, and choice.  Website: https://soarwithtapping.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-vincze-1a86063 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soarwithtapping/ Guest Resource Soar with Tapping App Podcast Special Listeners can visit the podcast special page to find a code for 50% off the first year of an annual subscription to the Soar with Tapping App. https://soarwithtapping.com/podcast-special/  The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

Burnout on the Horizon? Why Tapping Could Help You Pause Before Stress Takes Over

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] With Amy Vincze A panic spike at your desk can feel like it comes out of nowhere, and then suddenly you cannot think straight, your body is tense, and your inner critic gets loud. We sit down with Amy to unpack Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) in a way that is practical, evidence-informed, and easy to try during a real workday without turning it into a big production. We talk through what EFT tapping actually is: a blend of acupressure points (think acupuncture without needles), cognitive therapy language (saying what is true right now), and somatic therapy (getting out of your head and back into your body). Amy explains the biology of stress, including the amygdala’s threat response and the cortisol surge that can knock your prefrontal cortex offline. When you understand that mechanism, “calming down” stops sounding like a moral failing and starts sounding like nervous system regulation. You will also hear a simple, desk-friendly approach you can use immediately: first, feel where the stress sits in your body for about 90 seconds, then use a short one-minute tapping sequence (eyebrow, side of eye, under eye, under nose, under mouth, collarbone, top of head) with grounding phrases that honour the emotion instead of fighting it. We also address scepticism head-on, share research outcomes discussed in training studies, and explain why stress is not just “in your head” but a whole-body response you can shift. If this helps, subscribe, share the show with someone who is carrying work stress, and leave a review so more people can find practical anxiety relief tools like EFT tapping.  As an EFT specialist myself, I was especially keen to explore this with Amy in a grounded, practical way for people dealing with work stress, anxiety and emotional overwhelm.  Amy references research and statistics These should be attributed to Amy About Amy Vincze Amy Vincze is an EFT tapping coach with more than 16 years of experience and the founder of the Soar with Tapping App. She helps people use tapping as a practical self-regulation tool for stress, anxiety, emotional overwhelm and recurring emotional patterns.  Amy joins Cheryl to explore what tapping is, how it may help people steady themselves during workplace stress, and how repeated work-anxiety triggers can be approached with more curiosity, safety, and choice.  Website: https://soarwithtapping.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-vincze-1a86063 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soarwithtapping/ Guest Resource Soar with Tapping App Podcast Special Listeners can visit the podcast special page to find a code for 50% off the first year of an annual subscription to the Soar with Tapping App. https://soarwithtapping.com/podcast-special/  The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

The Kolher Principle: Good, Better, Best: Finishing Well

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] If you’ve ever looked at something you created and thought, “It’s fine… but it doesn’t look impressive enough,” you’re not alone. I’m Cheryl Paris, and I’m exploring a common thread that ties together work stress, anxiety, and perfectionism: our tendency to value polish over truth. A polished presentation, a neatly crafted email, a confident reply, or an attractive wellbeing program can all give the impression of quality. However, presentation is not the same as substance, and when we confuse the two, we start doubting our own judgment and reward appearances instead of true value. We examine how “high standards” can trap us: rewriting, rehearsing, checking, and then doing the invisible second job of making everything appear effortless. This shifting goalpost keeps you in a constant state of work without allowing you to truly land or succeed. I also delve into the fears underlying perfectionism—the belief that if you can achieve perfection, you can ensure your safety. The issue is that you can be fully prepared and still face criticism; not all criticism reflects your true worth. Then, we move into practical territory with a simple framework that you can start using today: good, better, best. These are not measures of your self-worth but levels of investment based on time, energy, and the needs of the situation. I share four questions to help you choose the right standard, along with the ABGW method: Awareness, Balance, Growth, and Wellbeing. This approach aims to alleviate the pressure of work feeling like a judgment of your value. If this resonates with you, please subscribe, share it with a friend who might also be over-polishing their work, and leave a review. What’s one task you’re ready to finish at “good” today? The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.