Certified: Not A Mess

Love Unscripted | Two Guys, One Girl, Zero Good Choices

Love triangles: that razor-thin line between heart-pounding drama and the literary equivalent of soggy toast. In our new episode, Tim & LeeAnna dig into why so many writers trip over plot holes, pace their story like a three-legged race, and expect readers to cheer for ‘Team Bland’ vs. ‘Team Blander.’ Spoiler: your audience deserves better. Let’s talk about how to actually make triangles burn with tension instead of collapsing into cliché. As ever, Alchemy is ad-free, because who needs an ad for the next Netflix teen love triangle when you’re busy untangling your own? Nadira Goffe’s article here [https://slate.com/culture/2025/07/the-summer-i-turned-pretty-season-3-belly-jeremiah-conrad-romance-love-triangles.html] Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here [https://www.effigypress.com/post/writer-s-prompts-love-unscripted-two-guys-one-girl-zero-good-choices]. Submission page for Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/submit]. Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/]. Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4 https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days [https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days] Outro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5P https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive [https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive]. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A]

Love Unscripted | Cupid’s Murder Evidence Board

Join Tim and LeeAnna as they contemplate your friend group: not so much a circle as a soap opera with bad lighting. One kiss, one breakup, and suddenly everyone’s starring in their own season finale. Plot twists pile up, alliances shift hourly, and Cupid’s arrows feel more like grenades. Welcome to ‘Cupid’s Murder Evidence Board.’ This podcast remains gloriously ad-free. No jingles, no discount codes, just us untangling the soap-opera mess you call a friend group. You’re welcome. Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here [https://www.effigypress.com/post/writer-s-prompts-love-unscripted-cupid-s-murder-evidence-board]. Submission page for Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/submit]. Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/]. Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4 https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days [https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days] Outro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5P https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive [https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive]. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A]

Love Unscripted | Not Your Troy, Not Your Heaven (part 2)

In this Alchemy episode, Tim & LeeAnna continue their dive into emotional turmoil with the second of two of Yeats’s most emotionally raw poems – He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven. Ah, the wreckage of unrequited love. As with all our podcasts, this episode is ad-free – because our advertiser, a manufacturer of custom-made Cloths of Heaven, has sadly gone out of business. Enjoy. He Dreams of the Cloths of Heaven by W. B. Yeats here [https://poets.org/poem/aedh-wishes-cloths-heaven] https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49772/no-second-troy Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here [https://www.effigypress.com/post/writer-s-prompts-love-unscripted-not-your-troy-not-your-heaven]. Submission page for Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/submit]. Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/]. Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4 https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days [https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days] Outro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5P https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive [https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive]. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A]

Love Unscripted | Not Your Troy, Not Your Heaven (part 1)

What if the woman you love isn’t yours to save, to burn, or to beg? What if your dreams were never her destination? In this Alchemy episode, Tim & LeeAnna dive into the first of two of Yeats’s most emotionally raw poems – No Second Troy and He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven – to explore the wreckage of unrequited love, the fine line between worship and resentment, and why offering your dreams might not be enough when she’s already burning down cities. Spoiler: this one’s gonna hurt in all the right ways. As with all our podcasts, this episode is ad-free – because when you're unpacking Yeats, heartbreak, and the smoldering remains of emotional overinvestment, the last thing you need is an ad for window replacements. You're welcome. Correction: when Tim spoke about the giant model of a shark or whale in the graveyard of the Cathedral in Limerick, it was in fact Londonderry. Apologies to both Limerick and Londonderry. He also managed to mispronounce W. B. Yeats' name around a thousand times. No Second Troy by W. B. Yeats here [https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49772/no-second-troy] Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here [https://www.effigypress.com/post/writer-s-prompts-love-unscripted-not-your-troy-not-your-heaven]. Submission page for Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/submit]. Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/]. Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4 https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days [https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days] Outro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5P https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive [https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive]. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A]

Certified: Not A Mess

Dating’s chaotic. So what if there were… standards? Like actual, published, reviewable standards. In this episode, Tim launches his idea of a “Dating Passport” – complete with Contracts of Integrity for Men and Women. LeeAnna reacts to Tim’s “Contract for Women of Integrity,” with an eyebrow raised so high it leaves orbit, and accuses Tim (lightheartedly, we hope) of sailing dangerously close to being cancelled. What follows is a no-holds-barred takedown, rewrite, and reimagination of what it would mean to be a Certified Human in the Dating Universe. Spoiler: gendered assumptions are out, and universal decency is in. It’s fun, it’s sincere, and it might actually make dating better – or maybe just even more complicated. Alchemy is proudly ad-free, which means no awkward segues into sales pitches for trash you find out you didn’t need only when it’s arrived on your doorstep – yup, hold the promo code.   Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here [https://www.effigypress.com/post/writer-s-prompts-love-unscripted-certified-not-a-mess]. Submission page for Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/submit]. Effigy Press here [https://www.effigypress.com/]. Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4 https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days [https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days] Outro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5P