As We That Have Left Grow Old

Expat Life is a Hell of a Drug

In which the failure to afford a cucumber makes an expat dad kick the habit. What is a new country but a life sentence for your kids? Get full access to american.nz at www.american.nz/subscribe [https://www.american.nz/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

As Ethical as You Can Get, For Sex Work

Antonia Murphy has one of the wildest US/NZ stories I’ve heard yet. The San Francisco native founded and ran The Bach, a self-consciously ethical brothel in the small North Island city of Whangārei. (This is 100 percent legal in New Zealand!) Her memoir of those years, Madam, is an admirably frank depiction of sex work as work—joyful and frustrating, honorable and complicated—and it’s now an international television show starring Rachel Griffiths. Antonia and I had a great conversation about all of it, including the office dynamics of sex work, US vs NZ entrepreneurship, and her lingering “dark feelings” about her time in the industry. And welcome to the american.nz podcast! I’ve been writing these letters for a year or so, and now I’m hungry to talk to all kinds of folks. More episodes to come (and more letters, too.) Holler anytime at dan@american.nz. Show notes: 01:40 | Why do Kiwis have more sex? Or do they? 03:06 | Founded by Puritans, but fascinated by “boobies and bottoms.” 07:30 | Decriminalized, but still stigmatized. 10:25 | “Our legal name was Tui Auto.” 11:30 | The abusive American client—and why he’s not American in the book 16:40 | “The vast majority are just normal guys.” 19:30 | Expat privilege, Kiwi values, and the American Dream 20:45 | Americans as “temporarily strapped billionaires” 24:50 | Professional boundaries in Brothel HR 29:30 | “Is what you did in Whangārei a net benefit to the people in the community?” 32:30 | Dark feelings. Practical Thoughts. 37:30 | Staying in New Zealand, isolation and all. The study we discussed is here: Average Number of Sexual Partners by Country 2025 [https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-number-of-sexual-partners-by-country#title]. The theme music is “Winds in the Wellington Trees” [https://open.spotify.com/track/2JtP8P0f3zf3Z9ByumkylE?si=20bd1bf3fe6e4d2c] by Anton Hughes. I shot the intro outside Greytown, with no wind at all. Get full access to american.nz at www.american.nz/subscribe [https://www.american.nz/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Will We Die as Americans? A conversation with Gregory Garretson

Thanks to everyone who joined my live chat this morning with Gregory Garretson [https://substack.com/profile/41735425-gregory-garretson] of Living Elsewhere [https://livingelsewhere.substack.com/]! We had a great turnout. This was the first livestream for us both—wow, what cool energy out there! Gregory and I had a blast haggling through some big questions: the flexibility of national identity, the search for home, and the complicated Americanness of leaving America. With shoutouts to fellow seekers Elizabeth [https://substack.com/profile/21170819-elizabeth], Lucy Pepper [https://substack.com/profile/22370160-lucy-pepper], Kirsten Powers [https://substack.com/profile/2053316-kirsten-powers], Walt Whitman, Paul Theroux quoting Henry James [https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/05/opinion/america-expat-living-abroad.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Rk8.VLUi.SCheQ2qkhu_V&smid=url-share], and One Hundred Years of Solitude. The time stamps: * 03:45 | What does it mean to be an American? * 13:30 | On a scale of 0-100, how Portuguese does Gregory feel? * 15:00 | “I came out of the airport and I inhaled and said, ‘Oh yeah, this is Sweden.’” * 25:00 | Can we decide whether we’re American? * 32:00 | Would you retire in Mexico? * 35:50 | “The most American thing in the world is to say that the most American thing in the world is to leave America.” * 36:00 | Will we die as Americans? * 47:30 | “Maybe you don’t need to decide, with finality, what you are.” * 48:00 | The rightward shifts in NZ and Portuguese politics. * 55:00 | Cosmopolitanism, food, and your life’s total of good margaritas. Hope you enjoy! Too much fun, y’all. Next time we’ll get that new American Pope. // Get full access to american.nz at www.american.nz/subscribe [https://www.american.nz/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

As We That Have Left Grow Old

A letter from Anzac Day. How do Americans mourn this country's honored dead? With biplanes, suppressed tears, Benedict Anderson, and a pint down at the Workies. Read the letter at american.nz [https://www.american.nz/]. Get full access to american.nz at www.american.nz/subscribe [https://www.american.nz/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Talking Kiwi in the Dark

Hey y’all! Thought I’d read last week’s letter [https://www.american.nz/p/someone-explain-kiwis-to-me] aloud and fire it off as a podcast, just for kicks. I plan to do more in this space in the days ahead—call this a soft launch as I figure out all the tricks. Click the button above to listen, or find it on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/4b2WQZwFhFiLDb6CqDN6AZ?si=f975ee62e5d245e8]. Hope you enjoy! I welcome any feedback. Big thanks to the NZ Department of Conservation for the birdsong intro. They’ve got a great library [https://www.doc.govt.nz/nature/native-animals/birds/bird-songs-and-calls/] you can download for free. Spoiler alert: the podcast bird is not a kiwi, but it’s the coolest NZ bird [https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/09ddc99e-fe2f-49df-bd3b-935ab929f49b] I can actually hear from my desk. Get full access to american.nz at www.american.nz/subscribe [https://www.american.nz/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]