Am I Parenting With Guilt From Divorce?

Am I Parenting With Guilt From Divorce?

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, discuss the guilt many parents experience after divorce. Parents often worry about how the changes will affect their children and may feel responsible for the pain their children are experiencing. Michael and Armando explore the difference between having compassion for your child and overcompensating because of guilt. Overcompensation can show up as extravagant gifts, relaxed boundaries, trying to be your child's friend instead of their parent, or giving in out of fear that your child will prefer the other parent. The conversation also highlights how parenting from guilt can lead to unhealthy dynamics, including enmeshment and parentification. Armando encourages parents to ask themselves, "Do I feel like this is my fault, or do I feel responsible because my child is suffering or in pain because of the divorce?" Michael and Armando remind listeners that children need consistency and connection more than gifts or parents competing for their affection. When parents provide predictable routines, healthy boundaries, and meaningful connection, children feel more secure and parents often find their own feelings of guilt begin to ease. If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review of the podcast to help more families find this support. Have a question you'd like us to answer on the show or a topic you'd like us to cover in a future episode? We'd love to hear from you. Send your questions and suggestions to media@brighterpossibilitiesfc.com.

How Play Helps Children Cope With Divorce

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, discuss the powerful role play has in helping children navigate divorce and stressful family transitions. Parents often say they want their children to “just be kids,” but during divorce, children can unintentionally get pulled into adult emotions, conversations, and conflict in ways that force them to grow up too quickly. Michael and Arrianna explain how play creates space for children to reconnect with safety, creativity, and childhood—and why protecting that space matters so much. They also share that play is not just important for young children. Kids of all ages communicate through play and connection, even if it looks different as they grow older. Play can be a game, shooting basketballs together, drawing, riding bikes, joking around, or simply spending intentional time together. Often, when children feel relaxed and connected through these moments, they naturally begin opening up about their thoughts and feelings in ways they may not during direct conversations. And if you don’t know what to do? Ask them. Kids are often very willing to show you what they want to play and invite you into their world. Michael and Arrianna remind parents that connection does not have to take hours every day—sometimes even small, consistent moments of play and presence can make a meaningful impact. If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate the podcast to help more families find this support.

Surviving Separation: Self-Care During Divorce

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, discuss what self-care actually looks like during divorce—especially when you’re overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and just trying to make it through the day. They start with the physical foundations that are easy to neglect during stress: getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, eating consistently, moving your body through walks or exercise, and creating moments of quiet or alone time. While these needs may seem simple, Michael and Jinohn explain how quickly they can disappear when your mind is consumed with conflict, uncertainty, and survival mode. They also explore the emotional side of caring for yourself during separation. Journaling, grounding exercises, and having a safe adult to talk to—not your children—can help clear your mind and organize the emotions that often feel overwhelming. Michael and Jinohn discuss how to continue parenting even when emotionally exhausted, emphasizing the importance of maintaining routines for your children, avoiding negative talk about the other parent, and remembering that the goal is not to “be right,” but to “get it right.” They also encourage listeners to protect their mental health by setting boundaries around divorce-related communication, not feeling pressured to respond to every message immediately, and avoiding obsessive thinking about court outcomes. Most importantly, they remind listeners to give themselves grace. Healing and stability are often built through small, consistent routines that slowly help you move forward. If this episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who needs this reminder right now.

The Personal Journey of Divorce: What Keeps You Stuck

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, explore the deeply personal journey people go through in divorce—and why some feel stuck while others begin to move forward. Michael shares how, in his work, he often sees patterns in behavior that show up during this “storm,” and how identifying those patterns can reveal the root hurt keeping someone from healing. He breaks down three common dynamics that tend to hold people in place, starting with unresolved pain from the past. When someone is anchored to what was, they can struggle to see a path forward, often feeling unseen, invalidated, or stuck in a cycle of victimhood where everything feels like it’s happening to them. They also discuss how fear of the future can keep people frozen—replaying past experiences and projecting them forward, imagining worst-case scenarios that haven’t actually happened. Instead of responding to what is, people get caught in what could be, and their fear becomes the driver. The third dynamic is a lack of trust, especially in co-parenting relationships. The ability—or inability—to move forward often hinges on how much trust exists between parents, and when that trust is broken, it can impact every interaction. Michael and Arrianna bring it all back to one central truth: forward movement begins with you. When you take time to reflect on what is holding you back, you create the opportunity to move toward the future you actually want. If this episode gave you perspective or hope, please send it to someone who might need to hear it right now.

Talking to Kids About a New Relationship After Divorce

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, continue the conversation around introducing a new partner—this time focusing specifically on how to talk to your children about it. (Be sure to also check out their related episode, Episode 75, “What to Do When a New Partner Enters,” for more on navigating this transition.) Armando emphasizes that timing matters more than anything. Just because a new relationship brings comfort or excitement to you doesn’t mean your children are ready for it. He encourages parents to consider whether the relationship is truly stable and lasting, and where their children are emotionally in their own adjustment to the divorce. Michael and Armando also explore how to set clear expectations and roles for a new partner, and what it looks like to introduce them in a low-pressure, child-friendly way—like a casual outing to the park or grabbing ice cream together. They caution against recreating meaningful traditions that were once shared with the other parent, as this can be confusing or painful for children. Above all, they remind listeners to slow down and be intentional. Introducing someone into your child’s world is significant, and taking your time ensures that the relationship is truly worth bringing into your family system. If you found this episode helpful, please rate and review the podcast to help more families find this support.